Where the Heart Is

by Elizabeth Lowell

  “She won’t care,” Billy said absently.

  Lying down, head propped on his hand, he leaned over the math book. He frowned as he tried to arrange the various parts of the algebra problem in his mind.

  Nudge, who had as fine an appreciation of warmth as any snake, immediately took up residence along the boyish midsection that Squeeze had abandoned. That made it awkward for Billy to write, but he didn’t complain. He and Nudge had been bunkmates for the past six nights.

  Out of the corner of her eye, Shelley saw Squeeze begin to climb her dresser. She reached out, captured the snake’s tapering tail, and began gently dragging the adventurous boa back across the carpet.

  Squeeze turned and looked over his nonexistent shoulder at her, but made no attempt to escape. The instant she let go, the snake flipped a coil over her wrist and tried to drag her over to the dresser. When that didn’t work, the boa decided to try higher up on her arm.

  “Forget it, snake,” Billy said without looking up. “She’s got a lot more X on her side than you do.”

  Nudge batted at the pencil that was wig-wagging so temptingly across the paper in front of her black nose.

  “Cat, you’re getting to be a pest,” he said, but his tone was more absent than threatening. “Shelley?”

  “Hmm?” she asked, peeling Squeeze off her neck before he could settle in.

  “They left something out of this one.”

  She stretched out full-length on the floor to get closer to the math problem. Billy turned the book so that she could read it along with him.

  Squeeze and Nudge found themselves nose to nose across an open math book. The snake’s tongue flickered like a slender black flame. The cat’s whiskers quivered with equal interest.

  Shelley swept aside a rosy coil just as it snaked toward Nudge.

  “They say that B equals ten,” Billy said, “and C equals A, and two A equals B. Then they ask what C equals. How the heck should I know, when I don’t know what A equals?”

  “How many Bs does it take to equal A?”

  Billy frowned and began talking through the problem under his breath. After a minute he looked up. “It only takes half of a B to equal one A.”

  She waited expectantly.

  “Oh, I get it now,” he said. “Cool!”

  He bent over the book and began writing. With an expert swipe on one hand, he fended off both Nudge and one of Squeeze’s coils. Shelley looped the coil around her own upper arm so that the boy could work in peace. Sort of.

  “B is ten and A is one-half of B,” he said, his voice filled with the excitement of discovery once again. “So one-half of ten, which equals five, which equals A, which equals C. That’s simple.”

  “But not always easy,” a voice said from the doorway. “A lot of life is like that.”

  With a startled sound, Shelley rolled over and looked up. “You’re back!”

  Even though Cain was tired, dirty, and irritated as hell about the mess he had found waiting for him in his condo, he smiled down at the woman lying at his feet. It would have been impossible not to smile. There was a rosy boa peeking out from her shining, loose hair. A huge coon cat’s paw patted her other shoulder in search of the snake’s elusive head.

  “Hi, Uncle Cain,” Billy said, writing quickly. “I’ll be with you in a minute.”

  “No hurry. It’s been years since I’ve been to the circus.” He sank to the floor and sat Indian-fashion. “You must be the snake lady.”

  “Actually, I’m the lion tamer.”

  Her voice was husky with surprise and something more, something that sent a kick of pleasure through his tired body. She was as glad to see him as he was to see her.

  “Lion tamer, huh?” he asked lazily. “Then this must be the lion.”

  He reached over her shoulder, grasped Nudge firmly by the scruff, and lifted her.

  The cat dangled from his large hand with a complete lack of concern. The only movement Nudge made was to twist her head in order to follow Squeeze’s movements.

  “You’ve done a hell of a job taming this one,” he said.

  Shaking his head, he lowered Nudge to the floor well away from both snake and lion tamer. Immediately the cat began closing in on Squeeze.

  “Billy?” Cain said.

  “Yes, sir?”

  “Concentrate on your math for a few moments, okay? I’ve got an X factor of my own that’s been missing for six days.”

  The boy glanced up in time to see his uncle pull Shelley onto his lap. For an instant Billy looked startled. Then, smiling, he bent over his workbook and concentrated on math.

  “Hello, mink,” Cain whispered.

  The kiss he gave her was very discreet, almost chaste. Yet a tremor rippled through him when their lips touched. For him, six days had felt like six months.

  It had been the same for Shelley. She came eagerly to him, nestling against his chest, snuggling in like a cat.

  He gave a hidden sigh of relief. He had spent a lot of time wondering if she would be happy to see him or still angry at the way they had parted.

  “Hello, stranger,” she whispered. “Welcome home.”

  Her fingers threaded through his sun-streaked hair, stroked his stubble-roughened cheek, and delicately traced his mouth. Then her hand came to rest just above the opening of his khaki shirt, where his warmth called to her.

  His pulse accelerated visibly beneath the tanned skin of his throat.

  She smiled almost sadly even as she touched his pulse with her fingertips. She had tried to build defenses against Cain while he was gone. Many times she had spun possibilities in her mind around his return. She would be polite, aloof, totally in control.

  Safe.

  Yet when he had walked in unexpectedly, her defenses had vanished at the exhaustion she saw in the deep lines of his face. All thought of keeping her distance fled. All she wanted to do was ease the strain she saw in him.

  She curled closer to him and traced the tired lines on his forehead and either side of his mouth as though she could take his fatigue into herself, freeing him.

  Slowly Cain rubbed his unshaven cheek against her hair. Silky strands caught and tugged slightly before falling away.

  “I must feel like a cactus,” he said, “and look worse.”

  She glanced up at him with green-and-gold eyes that saw each line, the dark circles beneath his eyes, and the heavy shadow of stubble blurring his jawline.

  “You look . . . wonderful.”

  “Chicken feet,” he whispered, kissing her eyelids gently, closing her brilliant eyes. “I look like hell.”

  “Not to me.”

  His arms tightened around her. He pulled her even more closely against him and buried his face in the dark silk of her hair.

  “Home at last,” he said with a sigh that was almost a groan.

  “Yes,” she whispered.

  The sense of homecoming she felt in his arms frightened her. Then she let fear and unhappy memories slide away. She held on to the moment and the man with an intensity that was new to her.

  Cain felt her arms slide around his back. The soft woman-warmth of her rested trustingly against his body. He shifted her until she fit against him breath for breath, heartbeat for heartbeat.

  Slowly they closed their eyes and rocked each other, saying with touch what they could not say aloud.

  “Uncle Cain, I hate to tell you this, but that’s not Shelley’s arm snaking around your neck.”

  He opened one eye.

  Squeeze’s polished black eyes stared back at him unblinkingly.

  Cain flicked his tongue in and out like a snake, but more slowly.

  Squeeze froze, transfixed by the odd sight. Slowly the snake’s narrow body gathered more tightly as the boa readied another coil for Cain’s neck.

  Shelley laughed soundlessly, amused by the look on Cain’s face.

  “Need any help?” she asked.

  “Can you talk snake?”

  She flicked her tongue in and out with a speed
that equaled Squeeze’s.

  Cain’s eyes changed to a smoky gray as he watched her quick pink tongue.

  “I accept,” he whispered, bending down to her.

  “Uncle Cain—”

  “I know, I know.”

  One strong hand captured Squeeze’s head and the other grasped a muscular coil.

  Shelley slid off his lap and out of the way while he peeled the snake from his neck. Man held boa constrictor at eye level.

  “Feeding time at the zoo?” he suggested.

  “Looks like it,” Billy agreed.

  “Are you prepared?”

  “Yeah. We got a rat today.”

  “Bon appétit.”

  He unloaded the snake into his nephew’s arms just as the doorbell rang.

  “I’ll get your homework,” Cain said.

  “I’ll get the door,” Shelley said. “Feed that critter before he starts hunting Nudge.”

  “They’re friends!” Billy objected.

  “Not when one of them is hungry.”

  The doorbell rang again. Several times. She flipped on the intercom. “I’ll be right there.”

  Without waiting for an answer, she turned off the intercom and started for the front door. She was grateful for an excuse to vanish. Billy was already opening a small cage. Inside was the boa’s lunch—a white rat that had been run ragged in some psychologist’s lab project.

  When she opened the front door, an impatient JoLynn stood on the other side. Despite the lavender smudges under her eyes, she looked good enough to serve to a king.

  Abruptly Shelley became aware of her own tousled hair, faded jeans, and oversize cotton shirt tied in a knot at her waist. All that could be said for her outfit was that it was just right for playing with a snake, a cat, a boy, and an algebra book.

  “Lupe said Billy’s been staying with you,” JoLynn announced.

  ‘Yes.

  “Tell him to get ready. I’m running late.” Suddenly JoLynn’s jade-green eyes widened.

  Shelley knew without turning around that Cain had just walked up behind her.

  “Well, well, well, just look at the iron man,” JoLynn said sarcastically. “Wouldn’t your wide-eyed piece of ass let you out of bed long enough to shave?”

  Shelley’s mouth flattened. All that prevented her from tearing into the other woman was the fact that Billy might come upstairs at any moment.

  “What’s the matter?” Cain asked carelessly. “Couldn’t you get laid even once in six days?”

  A flush climbed beneath JoLynn’s porcelain skin. “I can have all the men I want and you know it.”

  “Yeah. And you can’t keep a one of them, can you?” His voice was like a whip. Then it changed. His tone became like his eyes, cold and pitiless. “If you run your mouth at Shelley’s expense again, you will regret it,” he said distinctly. “Any questions?”

  The dislike in his voice was so intense that JoLynn took a step backward. She looked from Cain to Shelley and then back again.

  For an instant Shelley was certain she saw pain in those incredible jade eyes.

  “I’ll wait for Billy out here,” JoLynn said, her voice stretched to breaking. “Tell him to hurry.”

  “If you were that eager to see him, you wouldn’t have been gone so long, would you?” Cain asked.

  “Jealous?” she asked, smiling at him with unmistakable invitation.

  “Of what?”

  “You know.”

  “I sure as hell do. Too bad it took Dave so long to figure it out that the fucking he got wasn’t worth the fucking he got.”

  Before the last words were out of Cain’s mouth, JoLynn was hurrying toward her car. Her high-heeled sandals clicked harshly on the flagstone walkway.

  He watched her retreat with eyes the color and warmth of ice. Then he pulled Shelley’s shoulders against his chest and gently stroked her arms.

  “I’m sorry, mink. She has a poisonous tongue. I don’t want you or Billy hurt because I won’t crawl into bed with her.”

  “She . . . really wants you.”

  Shelley felt his shrug and then his breath stirred against her hair.

  “JoLynn wants whatever she can’t have. Dave loved her anyway, the kind of love most women would kill for. But not her. She almost killed him instead.”

  “Sad,” she whispered. “So damned sad.”

  “Don’t feel sorry for that one. It will give her a weapon to use against you.”

  “Why did Dave leave Billy with a woman like that?”

  “He couldn’t reach me in time. He couldn’t take Billy to France, because he’s behind in school. The divorce was rough on him. And JoLynn pleaded so nicely to have custody of her son for just a few weeks, please, pretty please, and don’t forget to bat your eyelashes at the judge.”

  “Why would she bother? She certainly hasn’t tried to spend time with her son.”

  “Simple. She wants to keep her hooks in Dave.”

  “But if she doesn’t love her husband, why would she care? I couldn’t see the last of my ex-husband fast enough.”

  “JoLynn isn’t you. She wants whatever she can’t have—until she gets it. Then she looks for another boy-toy.”

  Slowly Shelley shook her head, thinking of Billy.

  “Now that she no longer has my brother,” Cain said, “she wants him, so she’s using whatever weapon is at hand.”

  “Even her own son?”

  “Especially him.”

  “Can’t his father do something?”

  “Dave doesn’t understand what’s going on. He was so pleased that JoLynn was finally showing an interest in being a mother. He never was very bright where JoLynn was concerned.”

  “What if—” Shelley cut off her words abruptly.

  The sound of Billy talking to Nudge came clearly through the living room behind them.

  Cain gripped her gently, then released her as his nephew walked up.

  “Where’s Mother?”

  “She decided to wait in the car,” Cain said, his voice completely neutral.

  Billy threw him a very adult, sideways glance but said nothing more on the subject of his mother. He shifted his one-armed grip on his suitcase and schoolbook and turned to Shelley.

  “Squeeze was good and hungry. He won’t do much of anything but sleep for a few days now.” He looked at her almost shyly. “Uh, thanks for everything. It was fun.”

  She held out her arms. He let go of his suitcase to give her a hard hug and a brilliant smile.

  A horn honked three times.

  Shelley handed Billy his suitcase.

  “Your mother said she was in a hurry. I’ll see you soon. And if you get stuck on homework, call me. Promise?”

  “Okay. Thanks again.”

  “I enjoyed having you.”

  He searched her eyes for a moment, more adult than child, looking for truth beneath the polite words. Then he nodded his head and grinned.

  When the horn called again, he turned and trotted down the walkway to his mother’s flaming-red car.

  “Billy,” Cain called.

  “Yes, sir?”

  “If your mother—if you need anything, anything at all, call me.”

  The boy understood what the adult was reluctant to put into words.

  “Thanks, but I don’t think she’s real mad at me. And even if she is, it won’t last long.”

  “With her, nothing does,” Cain said.

  But he said it too softly for his nephew to hear.

  After the car left with an impatient bark of tires against pavement, Cain put his arm around Shelley’s shoulders and led the way into the living room.

  As the door shut behind them, she suddenly realized that she was alone with him.

  Truly alone.

  Chapter Thirteen

  The look Shelley gave Cain was half wary and entirely unsettled.

  He lifted his arm from her shoulders and bent to pick up the two suitcases he had left by the front door.

  She eyed the luggage
unhappily. Is this what he meant when he told me that I would be here for him when he came back? Does he assume that he’s moving in with me?

  When Cain turned and faced her, he was holding his suitcases in polite expectation of being shown to a room.

  She just looked at him.

  He saw the wariness in her expression. If he hadn’t been so tired and irritable, he would have laughed.

  Maybe.

  Then again, he might have done just what he was going to do now . . .

  With long strides he headed for the stairway to the lower levels of the house.

  “Where are you going?” she called.

  “To take a shower.”

  Her mouth opened. She shut it and hurried after him.

  “Right now?” she asked.

  “Right here. Right now.”

  “But—”

  “It seems,” he said, talking over her, “that some damned fool of a contractor tore up my bathrooms.”

  “Yes, I told—”

  “My plumbing won’t be put back together for at least a week. I don’t feel like waiting that long for a shower.”

  Too late, she remembered what he had said about redoing his condo.

  All I ask is that you get the contractor to do the work while I’m gone.

  “Oh, God.” She raced downstairs after Cain. “It’s my fault. I’m sorry.”

  “Why? Are you the contractor?”

  He dropped his bags in the spare bedroom. In front of her rather dazed eyes, he proceeded to make himself comfortable. First he yanked off his scarred work boots. Socks followed. Before they hit the floor, he was unbuttoning his khaki shirt. He pulled the shirttails out of his jeans with quick motions of his hands.

  After one look at the male pelt curling down his chest, Shelley closed her eyes.

  It didn’t help. Not only could she still see him in her mind, all she could think about was the moment six days ago when she had licked a drop of water from his body.

  Oh, God.

  Quickly she opened her eyes, thinking self-control would be easier that way.

  It wasn’t. He was unbuckling the worn leather belt that held up his jeans. She opened her mouth.

  Nothing came out.

  “Are you?” he asked.

  “Am I, um, what?”

  “A damned idiot of a contractor.”

  His hands never paused as he undressed. The zipper descended with a brisk, efficient sound.