A Shattered Heart (Live & Love Series Book 1)

by Leigh, Jenn

  “I am very sorry you lost so much, and I can only imagine the pain you must feel on a daily basis. I promise we will respect your wishes about your past life and those you lost, but know this … someone is trying to cause you problems, which means they are causing all of us problems. We protect what is ours, and although you haven’t realized it yet, you are mine.” I stated the last part on a growl and kissed her again, hard this time.

  She didn’t hide or shrink back at my last statement. Instead, she met me kiss for kiss, tongue for tongue, until we were both out of breath.

  Then I pulled away and looked at her deeply. “Not until you are ready, and you aren’t.”

  She simply shook her head, took my hand, and then we sat side by side on the coach, eating the pizza when it arrived as we watched a movie. She fell asleep right as it was ending, and I carried her to bed, my bed. I laid her down and covered her up before taking out a pillow and a blanket from the closet then heading for the couch. I hadn’t made it two steps down the hall before being accosted by my brothers.

  “What?” I asked.

  “What do you mean, what? You know damn well what. Don’t you think you should back off and let her heal? I mean, she lost her whole family in one fell swoop, and here you are, wooing her,” Mark stated defensively.

  “Fuck off,” I seethed. “You don’t know what’s going on.”

  “Mark is right, you know. You should back off,” Daniel chimed in.

  “Stay out of it. I have it handled.” I crossed my arms.

  With that, they stalked off to their respective rooms while I cleaned up the living room.

  I was drifting off to sleep when the screaming started. I bolted up the stairs and into my room to see her thrashing in the sheets again. I hurried over to where she was and got in the bed, holding her and making soothing comments as I rocked her.

  She finally startled awake. “Shit. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t stay here. I’ll keep everyone awake.” She looked into my eyes.

  “It’s okay. They understand now, so please don’t worry about it. Do you want to talk more about it?” I offered, trying anything to take away the terror that lingered in her eyes.

  “No. I just wanna go back to sleep.” She yawned. “But … um … I…”

  “What? Just spit it out,” I teased.

  “Would you stay here … with me?” she asked softly.

  “Is that what you want?” I whispered.

  She merely nodded and lay back down on her side, facing away from me.

  I went around to the other side of the bed and slipped in under the covers. I kept to my side of the bed, listening to her breathing. Eventually, it evened out into deep breaths, and I blew out the one I hadn’t realized I was holding.

  I rolled onto my side to face her, even though her back was to me. I couldn’t help thinking about how tragic it was for this woman to lose her entire family and be the only survivor. I was not sure I could handle it if my parents and siblings were all taken from me. She was exceptionally strong to be able to have some semblance of normalcy in her life after something like that.

  I realized in that moment that she deserved everything life could offer, especially after all she had suffered. Surely, there was some sort of happy ending for her, for us. I was determined to do everything in my power to make her see the good in life again. Not to forget, never to forget, but to move forward in life and always carry a place for those she had lost without losing herself.

  “I promise,” were the last words I whispered before I fell asleep.

  Chapter 7

  2 years, 6 months, 28 days

  Holy Hannah, was I hot. I had kicked my legs out of the blankets a while ago, but my body was burning up. I went to roll over, but I was pinned down and couldn’t move. My eyes shot open, and for a moment, I thought, Where the hell am I?

  I turned my head to the side and realized that Mr. Tall and Broody was draped all over my body. Then all the memories came flooding back. He knows. They all know.

  “I can hear the wheels turning in your head, Nat, but some of us are trying to sleep over here,” he mumbled and closed his arm around me tighter.

  “Fuck, you’re hot.” My eyes immediately widened, realizing my mistake. I shot a glance over to him to see he had a huge smile.

  “Well, that’s a first,” he remarked, his eyes twinkling. “I don’t usually get compliments like that first thing in the morning.” He waggled his eyebrows at me.

  I narrowed my eyes at him. “I meant your body is hot.” Holy hell, when was the last time I fucked up a conversation this badly in the morning?

  “Even better,” he exclaimed, eyes still sparkling.

  “Ugh, get off me, you big lug. I meant you are making me hot.” I really wanted to slap myself now.

  “Well, half my job is done. Care to see how hot you make me?” he offered suggestively.

  I rolled my eyes and then cleared my throat, giving him a pointed stare. “If you don’t remove your hot—as in temperature—body off me, you won’t need your family jewels for reproduction anymore, capisce?”

  “Ouch, and morning ego deflated.” He winced and rolled off me before waltzing over to the adjoining bathroom in nothing more than black boxer briefs.

  I watched cautiously with narrowed eyes as he began sauntering, for Christ’s sake. Then he looked over his shoulder right as he was entering the bathroom, batted his eyes like a damn call girl, and bent his knee so his leg almost kicked his butt.

  My mouth hung open, but then I burst into hysterical laughter. That was the funniest drag queen impression I had ever seen, especially coming from Mr. Tall and Broody, himself.

  He laughed, too, then went in the bathroom and closed the door. I was curious when I heard the door lock, unsure if it was for his piece of mind or mine.

  I couldn’t help thinking things had shifted for us. I had tried very hard not to let our friendship progress further, but now that we had shared a bed, albeit in a non-sexual way, I couldn’t help feeling a sense of comfort come over me.

  It seemed impossible to have these emotions come out now, especially since I had only known Josh for a short while. With Jake, our relationship had started young and progressed slowly. Therefore, I had no experience with fast. It was very unnerving yet exciting at the same time. I was taking things slow, though. I needed time to heal before I moved on to someone new; otherwise, the relationship would be doomed from the start.

  I got up, went over to his dresser, and found a T-shirt along with another pair of sweats to pull on. I didn’t want to put on my dirty clothes, so I went commando. If he knew, I would be in total trouble.

  As I made my way downstairs, I noticed no one was awake yet. I walked around the kitchen to familiarize myself with it. I noticed a Keurig machine on the counter and thought I would make myself a cup of coffee.

  I opened the cupboard nearest to the machine, and voila, there were the k-cups. I found a mug on a hanging rack under the cupboards and started to brew my coffee, leaning back against the island, waiting for it to be finished.

  Once it was done, I grabbed my coffee and went over to the large window on the other side of the living room. I leaned against the side and gazed out at the view.

  Now that they knew my story, would they treat me like a fragile flower? I really couldn’t say enough how much I hated that. It and the constant barrage of press questioning what I was going to do now on top of rehashing the story on a slow news day was enough to get me to jump ship.

  “You okay?” Daniel asked, showing up beside me with his own cup of coffee.

  “I guess. Sorry about last night. I don’t like sharing my story very often, and when I do, people tend to treat me differently.”

  “You don’t have to worry about that from us. Everyone has a story. Yours is more tragic than others, but it doesn’t make you different. If anything, it makes you stronger.” He glanced at me when he was finished.

  Then, before I could respond, he continued, “I hope you don�
�t mind, but I looked up the accident, so I know it was just that—an accident. If you’re up for it today, I think we should all talk about the text. I know we’d all like to get to the bottom of that. It was harsh, rude, and unnecessary. Someone is holding a grudge, and we need to figure it out and get through it, together.”

  I was starting to really like these guys. They felt like family already, something I was sorely missing. Sure, I had parents who had cared for me, but they were always more about themselves, especially after my brother died. It was like a switch was turned off in them, like robots. I was always worried I would end up like that, going through the motions, just barely above the surface of drowning in my own sorrow.

  I had wanted this chance to move on so badly, and it was just within reach. Then I got that text, and it all came crashing down. I will not quit, though. I will build it back up, and if that meant I had to learn to count on these people to be here to help me, so be it.

  “I agree with Daniel,” said Mark, startling me. I hadn’t realized he had come into the room. “We totally support you and will help you in any way possible. Please don’t forget that. We gotcha.” He offered me a side hug.

  “Thanks,” I said with my head down.

  Josh cleared his throat, and we all swung our heads in his direction. He quickly gave me a quick once-over, barely noticeable to anyone but me. I noticed everything he did.

  The brothers exchanged glances briefly before anyone spoke.

  “Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we’re going to have to tell Mom and Dad,” Mark said.

  “Why?” I asked. “What do they have to do with any of this?”

  “Well, we don’t know what’s going on with the text, but it definitely sounds like someone has it out for you. If things go sideways, it would be nice for our parents to know about it beforehand so they aren’t blindsided. Plus, maybe I’m being overbearing, but I wouldn’t be able to live with myself knowing someone was threatening you, and I never did anything about it. So, it would be good to have as many eyes looking out for you as possible. I think we all feel that way, and Mom and Dad would, too.” Josh nodded toward his brothers who both nodded in agreement.

  Josh looked at me again. “Do you think you can do it again? We’d be with you the whole time.”

  I knew he was right, but I had some reservations about talking about it again, no matter how much my counselor had said talking about it made it easier. Maybe he was right; however, I didn’t like having to involve more people in my personal struggles. I could see Josh’s point regarding my safety, though. I would hate to put others in harm’s way, if that was what was going on here. The need to tell his parents made sense in case things got out of hand.

  While I was having this minor internal struggle, I noticed that the boys were all talking amongst themselves in hushed tones. That made me instantly suspicious. What were they up to?

  “I guess it needs to be done,” I replied on a sigh. “I need to get some clothes, though, so I’ll need a ride back to my house.”

  They all looked at each other, and I swear to God, then they all took a slight step to the side and crossed their arms in an identical way. They looked menacing, but I knew better.

  I could sense a fight coming on, and I immediately felt defensive. I just knew this had something to do with whatever they had been whispering about.

  They stared at me for a long time—or what felt like a long time—until Daniel chimed in with a smirk. “I’ll get the truck.”

  “The truck? Why would you need to get the truck?”

  Josh stared at me for another moment before he said, “Well, we were talking, and like I said, we want to make sure you are safe at all times, so we decided you’re going to stay here.”

  I gaped at him. They couldn’t be serious. They want me to move in here, with them?

  “Yep, it’s all settled. We’ll go grab your shit, and you can have the spare bedroom in Josh’s wing,” Daniel said.

  The rest of the guys nodded their heads in agreement.

  What the fuck! I was pissed.

  Josh crossed his arms and tried to stare me down. “Nat, you just received a threatening text, whether by accident or on purpose. No one is going anywhere. You’re moving in, end of story.” He was daring me to challenge him.

  Well, buddy, challenge accepted.

  “Um, pardon me? What makes you think I am just going to move in here with you buffoons? I have my own life and my own space; I don’t need you taking that over. I really do appreciate that you helped with my situation last night, but that is where it ends.” I pointedly looked in each of their eyes to state my seriousness.

  They looked at each other and started laughing—laughing, of all things. It made me piping mad.

  “What about my cat? You idiots don’t look like cat people,” I stated, hoping this would swing my argument back in my favor.

  Daniel chimed in, “I’ve always wanted a cat.” Then he winked at me. Bastard.

  I looked over at Josh, who stared right back at me. He was a hard one to read, but I could tell he really wanted me to move in here. The question was, why? I knew he had feelings for me, and I knew I was starting to feel something, too, but what was so important about being in the same place as him and his brothers? Did they really think I was in danger from that text?

  I continued to stare back at Josh, trying to probe his thoughts as he did to mine, but the only thing that became readily apparent was that he wasn’t going to give in.

  Fuck. I had lost this battle. What was worse, why did I not care as much as I thought I should?

  I stormed back into Josh’s room while they were still chuckling and discussing room arrangements like I had agreed to it in the first place. I stomped back down the stairs minutes later with my clothes from yesterday in tow.

  I pointed at Mark. “Take me home, now,” I said with a look that usually made board members crumble at my feet.

  He seemed totally unaffected.

  “You heard the lady, now,” Daniel said then laughed as he made a whipping sound.

  I stomped over to the door, grabbed my purse, and walked outside then over to the truck that was in the driveway.

  Mark made his way over. “Why didn’t you ask Josh to take you?” he asked.

  I looked at him. “Josh needed to learn he can’t push me around to get his way. He may have won this round, but I will not give him the satisfaction of driving me to my place.”

  Mark paused, and then a shit-eating grin came across his face as we got in the truck. “I totally love you. You are the sister we never had. It’s about time someone stood up to him. We try, but eventually, one of us gets slapped upside the head.” He shrugged, starting the truck.

  “I’m pretty sure Josh doesn’t think of me as a sister,” I pointed out.

  He barked out a laugh, pulling out onto the road. “No, he doesn’t, but Daniel and I sure do. We protect what’s ours, and you, my dear, have just become ours.”

  “How do you figure?” I asked

  “We peed on you in your sleep, you know, marked our territory.” He said in what appeared to be all seriousness.

  I gaped at him.

  “Kidding, Geez.” He laughed again.

  “Whew.” I let out a breath. “I was worried there for a minute.”

  He laughed again. “But, in all seriousness, we mean it. Even though you have only been around a short while, you’ve managed to weave yourself into our family, and we couldn’t be happier about it, so … happy birthday!” he exclaimed.

  “It’s not my birthday.” I was confused and slightly teary-eyed from his admission.

  “I know that, silly, but you’ve just been born into our family, so … happy birthday!”

  “Uh … thanks … I think,” I offered lamely, trying discreetly to hide the lone tear that was threatening to escape.

  He did a big belly laugh as we pulled into my driveway.

  Chapter 8

  2 years, 6 months, 28 days

/>   As we walked into my house, I told Mark, “I have a few boxes in my storage room, but I need more time to pack up the rest of my house. All I am planning on taking right now are clothes and my keepsakes.”

  He nodded in agreement.

  I headed into my room, figuring I better start there. I went over to my closest and started pulling out all my clothes and laying them on my bed. I had gotten rid of a lot of my stuff before coming here for my fresh start, so I didn’t have a lot of clothes to pack up. I decided to put them in my three suitcases, which they didn’t even completely fill. I also packed up my bathroom. No matter how much I gave up, there were things a girl needed.

  I headed into my spare room next. This was the room where I had stored all my keepsakes. I stood at the door and looked at everything in the room. There were photos of Jake and me as well as some of the kids. I came into this room when I wanted to be with them. I still had Jake’s cologne and Julia’s blankie. I had Anthony’s drawings and his favorite stuffy. I kept some of their clothes and toys, unable to part with them.

  Mark came beside me. “Are you okay?” he asked, putting a hand on my shoulder.

  I leaned my head on against him and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. “I’m just letting you know in advance,” I managed to say, “that there will be lots of crying in this room as we pack it up.”

  “Whatever you need, however long you need, darlin’. I’m here.”

  I went into the room and started with the photos, the least emotional part of the room. I picked up one of Anthony and Julia when they were small and in the tub together. There were bubbles everywhere, and Anthony had made a Mohawk and a goatee, while Julia had two handfuls of bubbles ready to make more art on her brother. I touched their faces and smiled through my tears then put the photo in the box.

  Next, I grabbed a photo of Jake and me at our wedding. We were feeding each other cake. We had kept it clean because he had loved my dress so much he hadn’t wanted to ruin it. I, on the other hand, couldn’t bring myself to get cake on his beautiful face.

  He’d had a look of mischief, much like Daniel always did, but he had reserved his trouble making for me. We had definitely been partners in crime and liked to pull the odd prank on each other.