“What does this mean?”
She smiled at me. “Karma. And jade is lucky. Since Mr. Lucky is your destiny, I knew this would be good for you.”
I wanted her words to be true but had to face reality. “I don’t know if I believe in any of this stuff. Karma. Fate. Destiny. Luck. Even love.”
Mrs. Chang laughed, covering her mouth delicately with her hand. “You are so funny. It doesn’t matter whether you believe it or not. Whatever is destined to happen will happen, but sometimes you have to get the ball rolling.”
“How?”
“Right now, Nick is one person split in two. His heart remembers you, but his head cannot yet accept what his heart already knows. You have to make his heart and head come back together. You have to make him see the truth.”
“What if I can’t?”
She touched the character hanging on my bracelet. “You will. It’s karma. Nick might need a little…shake.” She giggled, lifting her hand to cover her mouth.
I had no idea what was so funny, but I thanked Mrs. Chang and left with my mother. She took me shopping, but I couldn’t stop thinking about luck and fate and destiny. Zoe called while we were trying on shoes in a designer boutique and insisted on taking me out the same evening.
“Wear a dress,” she said. “Like you always do, but fancier. I’m taking you somewhere nice.”
She refused to tell me where we were going. She called it a girl’s night out and told me to be ready at seven.
I put on a green silk dress. It matched the bracelet Mrs. Chang had given me. I threw a wide scarf around my shoulders because the nights were still cool. The scarf, from India, had shades of jade green, dark blue, and coffee brown woven into it, as well as sparkling gold thread. I slipped into some matching green heels and pulled my hair into a bun at the base of my neck.
Zoe arrived in a Volvo. “Where’s the motorcycle?” I asked, eying the extremely uncool station wagon.
Her lips twitched as she eyed my appearance. “I didn’t want to mess up your hair.” Zoe wore a black jacket with a dark gray dress underneath. I pulled open the lapels of her jacket and stared.
“It isn’t black.”
She pulled her jacket closed. “Close enough.”
When I got into her car, she gave me a concerned look. “How are you, Ginge?”
I experienced a sharp pang when she used my nickname. It brought back so many Nick-related memories. “Getting through it,” I said. Zoe looked so sad for me, I decided to change the subject. “How’s Josh?”
Immediately a happy smile curved on Zoe’s lips. They’d had their first official date. Josh had done some careful research and taken her to a concert in the city to see one of her favorite indie bands.
“He wore black,” she said with a grin. “And we talked for hours. He isn’t what I thought at all. He’s…so much more.”
“He’s a great guy.”
She bit her lip. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gone on and on. I wasn’t thinking.”
I shook my head. “Don’t, Zoe. It made me feel better. I’m glad you’re happy. You deserve it.”
As we pulled into the parking lot at the High School for the Performing Arts, alarm bells went off in my head. “Why are we here, Zoe?”
Zoe wouldn’t meet my eyes. “I have tickets for a concert.”
I followed her into the theater, terrified I might see Nick and do something to embarrass myself, but it never happened. We got to our seats as the lights dimmed.
The spring recital was evidently the biggest event of the year. Their music department presented it, and we got to hear all different styles, from classical to rock, performed by talented young musicians.
As the show came to a close, I saw two familiar men walk onto the stage. Uncle Johnny and Uncle Danny, hard to miss with their long, curly dark hair. Today they wore suits and ties instead of jeans and black rock and roll T-shirts.
Uncle Johnny took the microphone. I slid into my seat, trying to make myself invisible. Zoe elbowed me.
“Ladies and gentlemen, as most of you know, our nephew, Dominick, is a student here.” Uncle Johnny looked stiff and formal. Uncle Danny seemed slightly more at ease He laughed and patted Johnny’s shoulder.
“And you can all tell how much we love this kid, because we wouldn’t put on one of these monkey suits for just anyone.”
“True, my brother,” said Uncle Johnny, relaxing a bit and tugging at the collar of his shirt. “We’re here because a few short weeks ago, we almost lost him.”
The crowd grew hushed, and Uncle Johnny pushed his hair back from his face, his voice thick with emotion. “We didn’t think he was going to make it. We certainly didn’t think he’d be performing here tonight. But thanks to a special girl, he’s here with us right now.”
Uncle Danny took the microphone again. “This one goes out to Lily. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. And now Dominick will play the prelude to Bach’s Cello Suite Number One.”
Everyone clapped, and they walked off the stage. I covered my face with my hands as I slouched in the chair. When Nick walked onto the stage in a tuxedo, I sat up, unable to take my eyes off him. He limped a little, but the cast was gone, and he looked absolutely perfect. How could I ever think he wasn’t tux material? He was made to wear a tux. The fact he wore red Converse sneakers with it made him all the more appealing. I watched him, mesmerized, as he sat in his chair and positioned his cello before giving a grin and a nod to the crowd.
As soon as he played, I understood. Nick wasn’t simply good. He was brilliant. The music poured out of him, sad and hopeful, bright and beautiful. I sat in my chair, mesmerized, watching as his long elegant fingers flew over the strings and his silky hair fell onto his face. He moved his head back and forth, lost in the music. The sound of it filled me, healing ever so slightly the fractured organ that was my poor heart.
It ended all too soon. The entire crowd rose and gave a thunderous round of applause. I clapped as loudly as everyone else. When the lights came on and Zoe turned to look at me, I realized I’d been crying.
“Are you okay, Lily?” She gave my arm a reassuring squeeze.
“I am now. Thank you, Zoe.” Hearing him play made things ever so slightly better. Even if he wasn’t mine, even if he didn’t remember me, it was worth it, because he was alive, and nothing else mattered.
Chapter 18
Life and death are one thread, the same, hewed from different sides. ~ Lao Tzu, 6th century BC
After I went to the restroom and pulled myself together, Zoe and I walked through the parking lot arm in arm. “I think I understand now. Maybe my fate wasn’t to be with Nick. Maybe it was to save him,” I said, glancing at the little jade bracelet on my wrist.
Zoe shook her head. “You two are supposed to be together. I know it.”
I squeezed her arm and put my head on her shoulder. “It doesn’t matter. As long as he’s alive and well, I don’t need anything else.”
“You aren’t serious.” Zoe gave me a disbelieving look.
“Of course, I wish he remembered me, and we could all live happily ever after, but maybe this is all I get, and maybe it’s enough.”
“But you helped him to remember before.” Now Zoe looked like she might cry. I patted her arm.
“This time it isn’t the same.”
“Why?”
“He needed my help then, but he doesn’t need it now.” I looked toward at the sky, at the bright moon and a sea of stars. I wished on the first one I saw out of habit.
She made a noise of disgust and let go of my arm. I watched her stamp over to the driver’s side of the car, change her mind, and stamp back over to me. “Stop it. You’re giving up, and I can’t stand it. Please don’t do this.”
“Zoe, the last few weeks have been…a challenge. Dying twice has changed my perspective on what is important, but I still felt bad for myself until tonight.”
“What happened tonight?”
I smiled, tilting my face back to the
stars. “I heard him play, and I knew it wasn’t about Nick being mine. It was bigger than that. It was about Nick existing at all.”
Her face fell. “But I’m so sad for you.”
“I’m sad for me, too, but I’ll be fine. I have you, and my family, and my sweet little sister watching over me. What more could I ask for?”
“Lily?” A deep voice from behind me made both of us jump. Nick came out of the shadows, walking toward our car. He’d loosened the tie to his tux and undone the top few buttons of his shirt. Zoe jumped straight into the car, making herself scarce.
“Was that Zoe?” He ducked his head and glanced through the window. He couldn’t see her because she was currently hiding on the floor next to the seat.
“Yes. I think this is her subtle way of giving us some space.” I said, glaring into the car window. Zoe was nowhere to be seen. Nick laughed, which did funny things to my heart.
His eyes glowed in the dim light of the parking lot as he leaned against Zoe’s car and folded his arms across his chest. When I stared at his face, I almost had to steady myself. An immediate physical response to his nearness hit me so hard I almost doubled over. It took everything in me not to reach for him and pull him close.
“Well, she has ninja speed,” he said. “But I wanted to thank her. I asked her to bring you tonight. I’m glad you were able to make it.”
He’d been beautiful as my Shadow Guy, but a three-dimensional Nick proved to be an all-out assault on my already fragile senses. He smelled like soap and something rich and spicy. It wanted to lean closer and sniff him, which probably would have been weird, so I held myself back, but it took effort.
His hair brushed against the collar of his shirt, begging me to touch it. His eyes, the same deep brown I remembered, now possessed a bright spark. It hadn’t been there when his soul had been separated from his body. He was whole now, complete, and absolutely intoxicating. To me at least.
I struggled to find something normal to say. “You were great…on the cello, I mean.” I stumbled over my words, embarrassed and shy, and feeling thrown off. This was Nick…my Nick…but it also wasn’t, and I couldn’t find my footing. “And it was kind of your uncles to mention me.”
Nick ran a distracted hand through his hair, a gesture so familiar it tugged at my heart. “I understand from my mom and my uncles I have a lot to thank you for. They haven’t told me the whole story, but what they did share seems pretty crazy.”
“Crazy doesn’t even come close, but I told you already. You don’t have to thank me. I mean it.”
“I came out here because there’s something I wanted to give you.” He removed Mrs. Chang’s necklace from around his neck and put around mine. The jade pendant rested on my chest, still warm from his skin. “This is yours, I believe.”
I touched it with my finger, outlining the words etched into the stone. I should have told him to keep it, but I wanted to have it. Nick didn’t need it anymore. The Soul Reaper was gone. And if I had it, at least I had something to make me feel connected to him in a way.
“What does it say?” he asked, his voice husky as he stood close to me.
“Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule.” When I glanced at him, he had an odd expression on his face. “It’s a quote from Buddha.”
“I’ve heard those words before, but I can’t place it.” Nick touched a lock of my hair that had fallen loose from my bun, and then dropped his hand, looking almost embarrassed that he’d done so. “You aren’t wearing a ribbon tonight.”
I shook my head. “I don’t always wear ribbons in my hair. I do like a little variety,” I teased.
“But most of the time you do.” He seemed confused by his own words and frowned as he stared at me. “I wish I remembered you, Lily, and I mean that sincerely.”
“Me too.” I extended my hand. “Thank you for telling Zoe about the concert tonight. I enjoyed it. You’re a talented musician, and you have a great future ahead of you.” When all else fails, let etiquette take over.
Nick gave me a bemused little smile. “You are most welcome.” But instead of just shaking my hand, he leaned over and planted a swift, soft, sweet kiss right on my lips.
He stepped back, blinking, as if shocked at what he’d just done. “Sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean—”
I waved away his apology. “It’s fine. Really.”
I touched my lips, still reeling from the shock. Kissing Nick, even such a small, brief kiss, was something I hadn’t prepared for. It affected me from the top of my head to the tips of my toes and everywhere in between.
Nick took another step backward. “You’re full of surprises, Lily Madison.”
“And so are you, Dominick Fortuna.”
He grinned at me. “Goodnight, princess.”
I climbed into the car and saw Zoe still sprawled on the floor. “You can get up now,” I said. “You’re going to get a cramp.”
She got into her seat with difficulty. “My leg fell asleep. What happened?” she asked as we drove out of the nearly deserted parking lot. Nick stood where I’d left him, watching us drive away.
“A lot, actually.” I held the jade pendant in my hands. “I understand now.”
Zoe, focusing on the road, shot me a brief glance. “What?”
“It wasn’t the necklace keeping the Soul Reaper from eating Nick. It was me. Because I loved him. It’s the eternal rule. Hatred can’t make hatred go away. Only love can. And if my love was strong enough to make a demon go away, surely it’s strong enough to make him remember me.”
She let out something that sounded a bit like a primal yell. “Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Tiger Lily is back.”
“The only question is, where do I start…and how?”
“We need to pull out the big guns.” A small smile played on the corners of Zoe’s lips. She had a tiny dimple I’d never noticed before, and it was adorable.
“What do you mean?”
“We need to dress you in black leather again.” Zoe winked at me.
I wrinkled my nose at her. “Oh, no. Why black leather?”
“I didn’t need to see the look on Nick’s face to know he liked it. It may be what it takes to jog his memory.”
I remembered the way Nick stared at me in the bustier. Zoe might be right.
“So, in order for Sandy to get Danny, Sandy has to be a Greaser?”
Zoe rolled her eyes. “You watch way too many old movies. This is real life, baby.”
“Where do we start?”
Zoe grinned. “At the beginning. We’re going to put together a tour de l’amour for Nick. And I know the people to help us.”
We asked everyone, Josh, Jess, Maura, my parents, Maria, Uncle Johnny, Uncle Danny, Mr. Wan, Miss Lin, Mrs. Chang, and even Bambi. All promised to help. We only needed a few days to put it together.
The one person missing from our group was Rosie. It made me sad, so I went up to her room, in order to feel closer to her. To my surprise, my mom was already there, packing things into boxes.
“What are you doing?” I asked. Barefoot and wearing a pair of slacks, my mom looked at me and smiled. “Are you wearing pants?”
She never wore pants. Even when she gardened, she wore a skirt with a matching apron and gloves. Granted the pants she had on today were a designer label and looked like silk, but they were pants. I wondered if this signaled something new, like when dad had bought his first Ferrari and covered his bald spot with a spray on hair product. I suspected my mother’s decision, however, was less of a mid-life crisis and more of a life-altering event. Our time with Rosie, although precious and fleeting, had changed us all, for the better.
“I know. Aren’t they cute?” She turned around to show them off. “I’m packing up a few things. It’s time.”
“I’ll help you.”
Rosie had acquired a lot of stuff in her short three months of life. I didn’t know what was harder to look at, the little clothes I remembered her wearing, or the bi
gger clothes she’d never grown into.
“I miss her so much.”
I’d told my parents about what Rosie had done, and about how she looked when I saw her last. My father couldn’t stop talking about her red curls. He still kept her booties in his pocket, but now when he took them out and stroked them, he had a smile on his face.
“I dream about her sometimes.”
My mom looked around the room. “She’ll always be here…with us. We don’t need a room full of things to keep her close.”
We kept a few boxes of items too precious to part with, including the fuzzy white lamb I’d given her and the dress she’d worn when she came home from the hospital. My mother and I talked about Rosie as we packed. We looked at pictures. We hugged. Things were so different now, for each of us and for our family.
My father came home straight from work and joined us in Rosie’s room. He glanced at the pile of boxes. “It looks like the two of you have been busy.”
My mom gave him a kiss. “No golf tonight?”
He shook his head. “Nah. I wanted to hang out with my girls.”
Rosie’s death made us fear our own fragility, but my death made us understand we needed to appreciate each moment. We were all trying, and we’d made a good start. Rosie would have been proud.
Over dinner, my father turned to me. “So…tomorrow is the big day.”
I nodded. “After school, operation ‘Make Nick Remember’ begins.”
He patted my hand. “It’ll work, honey. It has to.”
I wasn’t so sure.
On Friday school dragged on forever. Our plan was set to go into motion at seven p.m. We’d arranged to have a private party at The Zone, and Nick had been secretly scheduled to work it. I would be the only guest, and I had two hours to find a way to make him remember everything.
I was packing my things when the doorbell rang. I ran down the steps and answered it, thinking it might be Zoe, but Nick stood on my doorstep.
Tiger Lily (Dark Blossoms Book 1) Page 16
