by Linda Ford
“And you think that makes her ideal?”
Annie ignored the amusement in her aunt’s voice. “I don’t. But he will. You know how foolish and stubborn men can be.”
“I’ve always found Hugh to be both wise and amiable.”
“Maybe when you meet him in public. He’s sure not been that way with me.” Enjoyable. Patient. Kissable. Huh. Guess the kisses meant nothing.
“What is it you want?” Aunt Mary’s gentle voice eased the anger raging through Annie’s veins.
“I want him to honor our agreement. Four weeks.”
“And then what?”
“Marriage. Just like we discussed.”
“What sort of marriage are you talking about?”
Annie drew to a halt before the window. “A marriage in name only.” She could hardly get the words off her tongue and knew her warm cheeks revealed far more than she cared for her aunt to know.
“I see. Is that what Hugh wants?”
“It was his idea.”
“Perhaps it is easier to consider that sort of marriage with an older, plain, unsmiling woman.”
Annie stared at her aunt. “You agree with Hugh? What sort of marriage is that?” The words her brothers had spoken echoed through her head. There is only one reason to marry…if you love the person so much it hurts to imagine a day without him. They were wrong. There were other reasons to marry and providing a home for a child was one of them. “What about Evan? Is that what he deserves?”
“I have a different question. What about you? Is that kind of marriage what you deserve?”
Annie spun away. “It’s what I want.”
“Is it?” Her aunt’s quiet question blasted through her.
“Yes!” She almost shouted the word.
“Annie, dear child, you have been looking for something since your mama died. And now you are running from the very thing you want.”
“I wasn’t running when I was with Rudy.” She’d wanted so much for Rudy to give her the love and security she’d known as a child.
“Rudy was not the man for you. Too weak.”
“I’m not looking for a man to give me what I need.”
“Nor should you. It’s not fair to expect a man to give you what only God can give.”
“I know that.” Annie’s inside burned as she recalled the verse Hugh had quoted Sunday morning. Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord, and whose hope the Lord is. “You’re right. I’ve been looking for security in all the wrong places. I won’t find it with someone else.” Her heart rent in two as she mentally walked away from Hugh. What would happen to Evan? “I don’t need marriage. I don’t need anything.” She could go back to the ranch where she would always be welcome but she didn’t belong there. “There must be somewhere I belong, where I can take care of myself.”
“Annie, I believe God has prepared such a place for you. Just be careful you don’t walk away from what He has offered. There’s a verse in Revelation chapter three that I’d like you to look up and read. In part it says, ‘Behold, I have set before thee an open door.’ Be sure you don’t walk away from His open door, or close it in fear.”
“Fear? I’m not afraid.” Even as she said the words, she knew she was. Afraid of loss of security, loss of home, loss of anything. “Sometimes it’s hard to trust.”
“I can’t argue with that. Would you care for a cup of tea?”
“No, I need to get back. I’ll have to pack and arrange for Grandfather and me to return home.” She chuckled softly. “I think he quite liked living in town. Several people have stopped to visit him and he doesn’t have to go out in the cold longer than it takes to walk to the church on Sundays.”
“He’s capable of living wherever God places him. Just as you are.” Aunt Mary rose and kissed Annie on the cheek before Annie left the room.
“Feeling better?” Uncle George asked as she headed for the outer door.
“You have a very smart wife.”
“I know it.” Her uncle’s laugh boomed.
Smiling, Annie left the store. Her smile faded as she reached the back door to the manse. She straightened her shoulders. What time I am afraid I will trust in Thee. Aunt Mary was right. God would guide her to the right place. She would trust Him despite the pain ripping through her.
She stepped inside and looked around. Hugh sat at the end of the table. No Miss Higgins. “When will she be back?” Grandfather’s chair was empty. “Where’s Grandfather? Is he packing? He doesn’t need to. I’ll take care of everything.”
“You grandfather said he was going to have a nap.”
Evan sat in the corner, his arms about Happy’s neck. He seemed okay. Did that mean he had liked the woman? If so, she was grateful.
“He’s not going to pack,” Hugh said.
“Good. I’ll do it.”
“You’re not going to pack either.” He hesitated. “Unless you want to.”
“I don’t understand. What about Miss Higgins? Wasn’t she suitable?”
“She probably was but she didn’t suit us.”
Annie shook her head trying to make sense of this.
Hugh rose, held out his hand to her. She took it because it seemed the most natural thing to do.
“Let’s go to the other room where we can talk. Evan, you stay here with Happy. Okay?”
Evan nodded, his expression watchful.
Annie let Hugh lead her to the fireplace. There was no fire burning but she seemed to feel the warmth nevertheless.
“Miss Higgins had unrealistic expectations of Evan.” He gave the details.
Her eyes grew damp. “She would have been cruel to him.”
“I thought so.”
“Now what?”
“You suit just fine.” A beat of consideration. “But I don’t want you to feel trapped.”
Was this the open door Aunt Mary meant? If so, she would walk through boldly and confidently, trusting God for the future. “You suit me just fine.”
“As your grandfather pointed out not so long ago, marriage is for keeps.”
“I know.”
“Won’t you someday want love?”
“Like I’ve said a number of times, love only leads to hurt.” It was time to tell him about Rudy. “I met Rudy when he came to visit his sister. He talked like he was going to settle here. He was charming and kind and courted me with utmost devotion. I trusted him. I gave him my heart. Thought he held it in the palm of his hand. But he changed his mind. Told me he’d found nothing here to suit him. He didn’t even know how much his leaving hurt me. Or else he didn’t care.” Perhaps the latter suspicion hurt more than anything.
He brushed the backs of his fingers to her cheeks. “I’m sorry. But I have to think the young man was shallow and likely of poor eyesight.”
His words tickled her and she tipped her head to smile up at him. “Is that a fact?”
“It is indeed.” He looked deep into her eyes as if searching for something. She let him look, wanting to offer anything he needed. Anything? Maybe not.
“Is there any reason to put off getting married?” he asked.
“None that I can think of.”
“Annie Marshall, will you marry me?”
“I will.”
His smile darkened his eyes and he bent to claim a kiss. It was quick, businesslike but wasn’t that exactly what she wanted?
“Shall we tell Evan?” she asked.
“I think the boy will be relieved.”
Together they returned to the kitchen and knelt side by side in front of Evan who watched them with a good deal of wariness.
Annie stuffed back another surge of anger at the things Miss Higgins had said in front of the boy. She looked to Hugh, nodding that he should relay the news.
“Evan, Annie and I are going to get married. She’ll be your new mama. What do you think of that?”
Evan’s wide-eyed gaze went from Hugh to Annie.
“It’s true,” she said, and following her heart, she held out he
r arms to him.
He blinked twice then scrambled to his feet and rushed into her arms with such force he would have bowled her over except Hugh caught her. He pulled her close, encircling the two of them in his arms.
Her tears flowed freely and increased in volume when Hugh pulled out his handkerchief and attempted to wipe them away. She laughed at the confusion in his face as fresh tears continued to appear.
“Happy tears,” she managed to say.
“I’ll take your word for it.” She blinked them away and saw that Hugh’s eyes glistened and she touched his cheeks.
“We have much to be happy for.”
He nodded and leaned his forehead to hers, Evan held safely between them. They might have stayed that way for who knows how long except Happy started to lick them.
Both laughing at the dog, they broke apart.
Evan wrapped his arms about Happy’s neck.
Annie knew he found comfort in the animal’s love and couldn’t imagine what would happen if someone tried to take the dog from him. Nor could she understand why anyone would want to.
“I’m so glad you told her to leave.”
“Me too.” He brushed his fingers along her cheek and she wondered if his reasons were the same as hers.
“We’ll tell Grandfather when he wakens.”
“I wonder what he’ll think.”
He would voice his disapproval. She did not care for going against his wishes but she knew this was what she wanted to do. She tried to hide her shiver.
Hugh bent closer to search her face. “Are you having second thoughts?”
She hadn’t succeeded in hiding her concern nor did she wish to tell Hugh what made her shiver. “I suppose I’m a little nervous.”
He gripped both shoulders in his big warm hands. “I don’t want you doing anything you will later regret. We need to be honest with each other.”
She nodded, her tongue so thick she couldn’t speak. She was being as honest with him as she could.
He watched her closely, his gaze delving deep into her thoughts.
Clarity came and she found the ability to talk. “This is what I want. Is it what you want?”
“It is.”
The sound of Grandfather’s canes tapping on the floor alerted them to his arrival and they faced the door.
He limped into the kitchen. “Got any coffee?”
“I’ll make some.” Annie hurried to the stove. She’d wait until he got his coffee before she’d tell him and she sent a little warning look to Hugh.
He nodded.
The coffee boiled. She poured a cup for each of the men and pretended to be busy at the cupboard while they drank.
Grandfather’s cup was half-empty when he sighed. “You might as well tell me what’s on your mind.”
Annie went to Hugh’s side and put her hand on his shoulder, finding strength and comfort in the touch.
“We’ve—” she began.
Hugh reached up and covered her hand with his own. “Let me. Mr. Marshall—”
“Uh-oh, you’re addressing me formally. That doesn’t bode well.”
Beneath her palm, Annie felt Hugh stiffen.
“Mr. Marshall, seeing as Annie’s father is away, or I’d ask him, I’m asking you. I’d like your approval to marry your granddaughter.”
Grandfather gulped a mouthful of coffee then sat back and looked from Annie to Hugh. His gaze stopped at Annie and he studied her long enough to make her want to squirm. Hugh seemed to understand and he pushed his chair back to stand at her side.
After a moment, Grandfather nodded. “A marriage in name only?”
Neither Annie nor Hugh responded.
“A marriage of convenience?” Grandfather persisted. He tipped his head toward Evan who played with Happy but no doubt heard every word. “For his sake?”
“It’s what we both want,” Annie replied.
Grandfather again did serious study of them both.
Annie dared not look toward Hugh to see how he reacted to grandfather’s scrutiny. She couldn’t say if the older man looked disappointed or resigned. A trickle of worry tingled her spine. What if he refused?
Finally, accompanied with a long sigh, Grandfather nodded. “You both seem set on this.”
“Yes, sir.” Hugh sounded strong and sure.
“Did you have a date picked out for this wedding?”
They hadn’t discussed it and Annie turned to Hugh.
“I see no need to wait,” Hugh said. “Unless you do?”
“There is no reason to wait.”
Grandfather shook his head back and forth. “You young people. Always in such a hurry. Annie, your pa will be here for Christmas. I ask that you wait until he is here and gives his blessing. Any objections?”
Annie held her breath. Would Hugh agree? What if someone else came in answer to his ad? Would he feel obligated to honor their agreement? Or seek to be free of it?
Chapter Fifteen
Hugh wanted to tell Grandfather there would be no waiting. Christmas was still two weeks away. What if Annie changed her mind in that time?
If that was to happen it would be best if it did so before they married. He couldn’t believe she wouldn’t regret this decision sooner or later and yet he wanted to marry her in the hopes it would bind her to him. Unlike Bernice to whom marriage meant nothing, he knew Annie would honor her vows.
But he didn’t want her feeling trapped.
“I don’t mind waiting,” he said.
“Fine by me.” Annie sounded a little less than enthusiastic and why that should make him feel better, he wouldn’t say.
“Good,” Grandfather said. “Maybe in that time you will come to your senses.”
Annie’s brows beetled together. “I’m not going to change my mind.”
“Nor am I,” Hugh said with enough conviction to make himself clear.
Grandfather shrugged. “I didn’t suggest you should.”
Annie let out a gusty breath. “You don’t make any sense.” She hurried to the stove.
“I’ll be in my office.” Hugh didn’t look back.
*
The days following settled into a routine. They’d agreed not to say anything about their planned Christmas wedding until they could speak to Annie’s father. At first, Hugh wasn’t sure how to act around Annie or what she would expect but it soon became apparent nothing had changed.
Except for a subtle strain. She didn’t linger after putting Evan to bed so there were no more quiet, intimate evenings. He wished he could ask her what her reasons were but he had his own to deal with.
He couldn’t believe someone like Annie would want to marry him. Worse, that she wouldn’t change her mind and so he allowed questions to remain unasked.
Perhaps the strain was in his own mind only. Annie remained cheerful. She made Evan laugh on many occasions which brought a chuckle from Hugh. One thing he could not deny was the amount of pleasure Annie’s presence had brought to his home.
And slowly, as the days passed, he allowed himself to hope that this was the life he could enjoy. He found it easier to sit in his office and work if the door was open enough for him to hear the voice coming from the kitchen.
Every day, he read from the devotional book Annie had given him and found his faith expanding. One portion especially encouraged him. “Enable me to be living more from moment to moment on Thy grace—to rely on Thy guiding arm with more childlike confidence—to look with a more simple faith to Thy finished work.” He discovered, he noted with a touch of irony, it easy to say these words and throw himself upon that childlike faith when his life was full of hope. That gave him an idea for his sermon and he soon had scriptures and notes outlined.
Feeling rather pleased with his life, when it was time to put Evan to bed, he turned to Annie. “Will you help me tuck him in?” She hadn’t accompanied them to the bedroom since Happy had arrived and Evan went without a fight.
Her eyes flashed pleasure. “I’d like that.” She reached f
or Evan’s hand and side by side, the three of them crowded down the hall.
“Why don’t we kneel by your bed and say our prayers?” she suggested.
To date, Hugh had prayed and then taken the boy to bed but at his suggestion Evan agreed. And the three of them knelt side by side, Evan in the midst. She draped her arm about Evan’s shoulders. Hugh did the same, the two of them united in caring for his son. His heart burgeoned with gratitude.
“Shall I go first?” Hugh offered and prayed a simple request for safety and a good night’s sleep.
As soon as he said Amen, Annie prayed. “God, bless each one in this house and grant us joy in Your love.”
Her words brought a lump to the back of Hugh’s throat.
“Me.”
His eyes jerked open as Evan spoke. His glance met Annie’s, as full of surprise and awe as he knew his was. He squeezed her arm. She smiled rather shakily.
“Thank you for Papa and my new mama,” Evan whispered. “Amen.” He bounced to his feet. Then knelt again and closed his eyes. “And Happy.” The pup wriggled at his name.
Annie reached for Evan and pulled him into a hug. The boy still stiffened at this closeness but relaxed enough to press his head to Annie’s shoulder. “Evan, I thank God for you. I love you.” She held him a moment longer then turned him toward Hugh.
Hugh had never hugged the boy, afraid of frightening him, perhaps afraid of rejection. So far, he’d settled for squeezing the boy’s shoulders or patting his head but at the way Annie nodded and pushed the boy toward him, he knew she expected he would do so.
God, help him accept my affections. He opened his arms and pulled Evan to him, not surprised when the boy stiffened. When Evan melted against him, leaning his whole frame into Hugh’s chest, his heart threatened to explode.
Following Annie’s example, he whispered, “I love you, Evan.”
The boy rested in his arms a moment longer then scurried to his mattress.
Annie pulled the quilt over him and kissed him on the forehead.
Happy curled up beside Evan.
Annie stood up, smiling.
Hugh knelt beside the boy and his dog and kissed his son.
Evan closed his eyes, put his hand on Happy’s neck and sighed.
Hugh reached for Annie’s hand, pleased when she took his, and led them from the room. Wood lay ready to light in the fireplace. He waited for Annie to sit on the couch then lit the fire.
