by Edina Davis
The friends sat on a bench on Hindover Hill and looked down upon Cuckmere Valley and the Cuckmere River, which wound its way through the valley.
“You need to tell your parents, Carry,” Laura said urgently.
“But that won’t help me!” Carolyn sighed and buried her face in her hands. “My sister can just get away with anything. I never saw my parents telling her off, especially not my mother. Carina always has an excuse and my mother simply believes everything she says.”
“Then finally talk to your father.”
“Oh dear, my father, he is so infatuated with my mother that he wouldn’t dare to contradict her even once. When she stands up for Carina he just gives in.”
“Then you have no other choice but to hide your things well,” Laura said and got up. “Come on, let’s walk down to the sea.”
Carolyn got up and walked next to her friend silently, with her head hanging. Laura was deeply lost in thought. What could she do? She heard similar stories from Carolyn almost daily, and always gave her the same advice. Still, nothing changed. Carolyn was simply scared to tell her parents something negative about Carina and she had every reason to be.
Carina wasn’t just a notorious liar but also very eloquent. She had the exceptional talent to convince people of her truth and manipulated their parents without them even noticing. Laura had been witnessing the goings-on in the Harris household for two years now and felt deeply sorry for Carolyn.
They slowly approached the sea, which was sparkling in the afternoon sun.
“It’s so beautiful here,” Carolyn whispered. “One could almost forget all the negative things.” She cast a reverent glance over the sea at the Seven Sisters, a series of chalk cliffs, which stood majestically and with proudly raised tops by the sea, glittering like snow in the sunlight.
When Laura came home that evening, she asked her mother for advice. Doreen Carson patiently listened to the whole story but could not offer a real solution for the problem either.
“You can’t do more than listen to Carry, show some sympathy and be there for her with help and advice, child,” she remarked. “Look, first, we don’t know enough about the exact circumstances and besides, we have no business meddling with other people’s affairs unless we had solid evidence that Carry is being mistreated. In that case we could … no would have to contact the children’s social care team. But as it is, our hands are tied, dearie. We both can’t do more than show Carry our affection. And you, as her friend, of course should always be there for her, whenever she needs help.”
When she saw her daughter’s desperate expression, she added: “Just be a good and faithful friend to her. That’s all she’s expecting, believe me.”
One month after this conversation between Laura and her mother, Carolyn stood in front of the Carson’s door in total desperation, ringing the doorbell incessantly. Mrs. Carson had hardly opened the door when she threw herself into her arms, sobbing loudly.
“Whatever happened, child?”
“My little Dusty … oh my God, my Dusty!”
Laura came running from her room. “What happened, Carry?” she called out in shock.
“My Dusty is dead!” Carolyn sobbed. “My sweet little Dusty … someone poisoned him! I found him in the back garden under the rose bush, all stiff … my dear little Dusty.” Her sobbing was heartbreaking.
Laura and her mother exchanged a glance over Carolyn’s head, and both thought the same thing. There was only one person they thought capable of such viciousness! Carina had hated the little chap right away, and Carolyn had caught her bothering the tomcat more than once. Once she sprayed him with a water pistol, on another occasion she chased him through the garden with a rod, hitting him.
Laura and her mother assumed that Carolyn also suspected who was responsible for her little Dusty’s death. After she had had a good cry in her friend’s arms, she never mentioned the incident again. But Laura sensed that this horrible experience, her beloved little tomcat’s death, had broken her heart.
From this day onward Carolyn Harris changed and her mouth was set in a bitter line, which was unsuitable for her young age.
CHAPTER 9
Another year went by. The twins were fourteen and had grown into pretty young girls. Carina already used make-up, painted her fingernails, and put black eyeliner and deep black mascara on her eyes. Her lipsticks were too red, the skirts too short and the jeans too tight. She wore high heels with everything. Carolyn couldn’t understand that their parents allowed such an appearance. They usually attached great importance to decency and morality! On every occasion they held speeches about what was appropriate for a young girl and what wasn’t. Carolyn’s own outfit could be called rather conservative if compared to her twin sister’s. She only used a colourless, lightly shimmering lip gloss, and when she went out with her friend Laura on the weekend, she discreetly put on a little mascara. Her skirts were a hand’s width over the knee, as was the fashion in the seventies, but they were hardly as short and as tight as her sister’s.
One day, when the family had dinner, Carina remarked: “Mummy and Daddy, listen. I want to get blonde highlights tomorrow. That looks absolutely fab in brown hair. Could you give me money for the hairdresser?”
“Aren’t you a bit too young for that, my dearie?” her mother asked shocked. Philipp Harris also glanced up in surprise.
“You have no idea, Mummy. Many girls in my class have highlights.”
“What do you think, Phil?” Debbie Harris turned to her husband.
“Well, I think Mum is absolutely right. You are far too young for such trivia,” her father remarked.
Carina defiantly pursed her lips. “Don’t be so narrow-minded! Why should you mind? As far as I know, Mum put on deep black mascara and had a perm at the age of thirteen. After all, I’m already fourteen. And I have been so much looking forward to highlights. If you don’t allow it, I’ll never forgive you.” She glared.
Their mother turned pale and said with hesitation: “Well, if all other girls have highlights as well …” She cast an imploring glance at her husband, who seemed intensely focused on his steak.
“Phil, what do you think? Say something.”
“Well, what can I say? I really think it’s a bit too early,” Phil Harris murmured. When he saw his wife’s urgent glance, however, he added: “But if the other girls’ parents allowed it …well, I’m fine with that.”
Debbie smiled at him so gratefully that it made him feel warm all over.
“You are the world’s best parents!” Carina jumped up and first gave her mother, then her father a peck on the mouth.
Debbie Harris was relieved that her little Carrie was on good terms with her again.
She will doubtlessly look beautiful with blonde highlights, she thought.
Carolyn had followed the conversation with growing interest and increasing anger. Their parent’s really let her sister get away with absolutely everything! Blonde highlights at the age of fourteen … Carina already looked like a real tart anyway! Carolyn imagined her asking her parents for this. They surely would not allow her. She couldn’t refrain from testing it and with an innocent smile said: “Good idea, I’m in for that as well. I’ll also get blonde highlights.”
Her mother gave her a surprised glance and said: “But that wouldn’t suit you, Lynn. You are more the conservative type.”
Carina chuckled. “Mum’s right there, Lynn. You really aren’t the type.”
“Oh, you just shut up,” Carolyn blurted out. “I’m not the type! What kind of nonsense is that? We’re twin sisters after all, and we almost look alike!”
“With a special emphasis on almost!” Carina countered with a sardonic grin. She provocatively crossed her legs and batted her black, painted lashes.
Carolyn threw their parents an imploring glance, but they seemed to be fully concentrated on their dinner and pr
etended not to have heard the last part of the conversation. Carolyn clenched her fists under the table, like so often before. She would have loved to smash a fist in her sister’s tarted-up face with its arrogant smile.
But she gave in, like always, for the sake of peace and to avoid the overdue conflict.
CHAPTER 10
On a pleasant summer day, when the girls were fifteen years old, Carolyn took the bus to the neighbouring town of Eastbourne to buy a new bathing suit. The summer holidays had just started, and Carolyn wanted to go swimming on the beach. As her bathing suit didn’t fit any more, she wanted to look around Eastbourne, because it offered more shopping opportunities than Seaford. She was already in the third shop when she finally saw a bathing-suit she liked. She was just holding it in her hand when a melodious male voice behind her said: “Yes … you absolutely have to buy that one, it would look great on you!”
She turned around and looked into an attractive boy’s face with radiant dark blue eyes. Carolyn stared at the boy in surprise for several seconds. She immediately noticed how good-looking he was. He was tall and slim, had brown hair with natural curls, which he wore a little longer at the back. And his voice … she had never before heard such a voice from a boy.
“Do you really think so?” she asked, uncertain. “Shouldn’t I take something bright?”
“No, definitely not,” the boy replied, “this one is exactly right for you. I can picture it on you. Believe me, I have an eye for these things!”
“Okay, but I’ll try it on first. If you’re right, I’ll buy it.”
“May I wait for you here?” the boy asked. “By the way, my name is Benjamin, Benjamin Gibson. My friends call me Ben.”
“I’m Carolyn Harris, but you can call me Carry,” Carolyn said. Then she quickly added: “You can wait for me if you want to.”
“Okay, Carry. See you soon,” Ben said and winked at her cheerfully. She quickly went into a changing room and tried the little black bathing suit on. The cut was really amazing! It had a halter-neck and the front was connected with the back by two hip knots, so that the back was free, and one could only see tiny panties when looking at it from the back. Therefore, it had an extremely high leg-cut and her already long legs now appeared even longer. Ben was right, the bathing suit was made for her. She changed quickly and left the changing room. Had Ben really waited for her? He looked amazingly handsome! She scanned the room and saw him about three feet away, leaning against a clothes rack. He had waited for her.
“Well?” he asked. “Looks great, doesn’t it?”
“Yes, you were right,” Carolyn replied. “It really suits me well.”
“See, I know about these things. But now I want to see you in it, I earned it! So, when do we meet?”
Carolyn blushed. “It’s the holidays, so I’m free almost every day,” she said quietly.
“Great, then let’s meet tomorrow, down at the beach, just right of the pier. Some friends of mine are also coming. Could you be there around eleven?”
“I’ll try. But the bus is not always on time, I come from Seaford.”
“No problem, then I’ll know. You will find us, I’m sure. I’m looking forward to admiring you in that hot thing.”
Carolyn felt the blood rushing to her head. “I’ll bring my friend. Is that okay?” she asked shyly.
“Yes, sure, bring her along. The more the merrier,” Ben remarked.
“I need to take care of a few things now. Bye, see you tomorrow, Ben,” Carolyn said and turned to leave.
“Bye, Carry,” Ben cheerfully called after her. Carolyn’s heart suddenly beat very fiercely, and she almost ran out of the shop. Outside, she took a deep breath and then walked more slowly. Her heart still beat in a strange rhythm. The boy had absolutely confused her. He really seemed to like her, and how handsome he was! She was already looking forward to tomorrow … but stop! If she’d tell her mother that she wanted to go to the Eastbourne beach tomorrow, her sister will hear about it. Her curiosity would be roused, and she would want to come along, just to see what kind of people Carolyn was meeting. And then … she didn’t dare think further. Yes, what would happen then? She knew exactly what would happen. Her dear sister would playact until she was the centre of attention, so that … No, she screamed silently, not this time. I won’t tell at home. I’ll … Yes, what would she do? Should she lie to her mother? She had never done that before. Her parents had both been raised religiously and had taught their children from an early age to always tell the truth. But she didn’t have to lie! She would tell her mother that Laura and her wanted to go to the Eastbourne beach for a change, without Carina noticing. This time she would not let her sister steal the limelight from her!
After all, Carolyn could imagine what would happen if Carina found out that Carolyn had met a boy and wanted to see him. She would most certainly come along, which Carolyn wouldn’t be able to prevent, and put on her show. She would approach Ben with a bright smile, kiss both his cheeks as if she’d known him for years, and charmingly flutter her lashes while saying: “Hey Ben, I’m Carrie. Nice to meet you!” Then she would bombard him with a thousand questions, admire him in a naive-coquettish way and eventually flirt with him intensely. And Ben … he wouldn’t be able to withstand such concentrated charm, most people weren’t able to. Apart from Laura, of course … she had never been dazzled by Carina but had immediately seen through her tactics. But Laura was just special. She wouldn’t find such a friend a second time. Laura was loyal, honest, fair, and unprejudiced. She was never impressed by appearances, because only the inner value of a person mattered to her. With her infallible sensitiveness she had immediately figured Carina out and realized what was going on between the two sisters.
No, Carolyn thought firmly, I definitely don’t want Carina to meet Ben.
Before she went home, she quickly ran to the phone box and called Laura. She told her that she had met a boy in Eastbourne and would meet him and his friends by the pier at eleven the next day. Then she asked her friend if she wanted to come along.
The suggestion delighted Laura and she curiously asked: “How does your Ben look?”
“He looks smashing,” Carolyn raved, “and he is really very nice.”
“Oh, you like him a lot, don’t you?” her friend asked.
“Well, I just met him,” Carolyn replied, feeling embarrassed. She turned red as a beetroot, but her friend couldn’t see that.
“Good, then I’ll see you tomorrow,” Laura laughed, “I’m very curious about smashing Ben. We’ll meet in the bus, okay?”
“Yes. Bye, Laura, see you tomorrow.”
When Carolyn arrived home, Carina was setting the table for dinner.
“So, why are you so late, then?” she asked cheekily. “You’re usually the first to help Mum set the table.”
Without reacting to the comment, Carolyn went into the kitchen to her mother and quietly asked her: “Mum, do you mind if I go swimming in Eastbourne with Laura tomorrow?”
“To Eastbourne?” her mother asked in surprise. “You always went to our beach in the summer holidays until now.”
“That’s right, but this time we’d like to go to Eastbourne beach,” Carolyn said.
“I don’t mind,” her mother said, “but please be back in time for dinner.”
“Thanks, Mum, I’ll be right on time, as always.” Silently she added: Unlike Carina. She gave her mother a quick kiss and went back to the dining room, where Carina and her father already sat at the table, waiting.
Carina apparently hadn’t noticed anything, otherwise she wouldn’t have chatted so chirpily and jauntily, but would have pestered Carolyn with questions. Fortunately, her mother didn’t mention the topic again either.
Carolyn heaved a sigh of relief. She ate dinner with a healthy appetite. She was happy. Tomorrow she would meet Ben and her sister could not get in her way! She smiled spontaneously
.
“Why do you have such a silly grin on your face?” Carina asked mockingly. “Told yourself a joke, eh?”
Carolyn did not reply. She was used to her sister’s stupid remarks. She smiled again and happily thought: Tomorrow I will meet Ben, I can’t wait.
CHAPTER 11
The next morning Carolyn woke up at promptly at 8:30 am and immediately jumped out of bed. She opened the window on her side of the room wide, looked out into the radiant blue morning sky and deeply inhaled the refreshing breeze which carried the sea’s salty smell up to her. Today was her day! Through the curtain she peeked at her sister’s bed and saw that she was still fast asleep. She quickly put her swimming things into a bag and cheerfully went into the bathroom, took a long shower, and washed her hair. When she was finished, she looked in the mirror. She really looked very pretty! Her cheeks were rosy, and the golden brown hair fell down to her hips in soft wavy curls. She cheerfully returned to their room to wake Carina.
“Get up, Carina! I’m sure Mum has breakfast on the table,” she called out and touched her sister’s arm. But Carina did not move.
“Carina, get up, it is a marvellous day. I’m sure you have plans as well. Hurry.” She lightly shook Carina’s arm. Nothing! Hopefully, her sister wouldn’t spoil her date!
Carolyn ran downstairs into the kitchen, where her mother was busy preparing breakfast. The delightful smell of coffee and fresh rolls hung in the air.
“Good morning, Mummy,” she said cheerfully, “I’m ravenous.”
“Good morning, Lynn,” her mother replied. “Is Carrie up as well?”
