Awakened

by Morgan L. Busse

  Just then, Kat groaned and her eyes fluttered.

  “Kat?”

  She turned her head across the pillow and blinked again. “Stephen?”

  “I’m here. What happened to you?”

  “I—I don’t know.” She ran a hand across her face. “There was a buzzing sound . . . then people running . . . and smoke—”

  Her eyes widened, and she gasped as she reached for the edge of her corset. “Stephen! I can’t feel—” Her voice hitched and she struggled to sit. “It’s worse! I can’t feel anything!” She caught sight of Dr. Latimer and froze. Her hand dropped to her lap and her cheeks reddened. “I didn’t realize someone was here.” She looked around. “Where am I?”

  “One of the spare medical tents, Miss Bloodmayne.” Dr. Latimer came to her side. “What can’t you feel?”

  Her eyes darted from the doctor to Stephen. Her hair was disheveled and fell around her lightly bruised face. She looked small and vulnerable on the cot.

  A fierce desire to protect her awoke inside Stephen, so strong it felt like a punch to the gut. He reached over and brushed the top of her knuckles. “It’s all right, Kat. This”—he pointed at the man beside him—“is Dr. Latimer.”

  Chapter

  23

  Kat raised her hand, then placed it back down. She tried to speak, but her mind was a hazy fog of incoherent thoughts. Did Stephen say Dr. Latimer?

  The man beside Stephen was older, with dark eyes and gray sprinkled throughout his beard and mustache. He wore a white button-up shirt, his sleeves rolled up and a splatter of blood across his right side. He watched her with a certain kind of curiosity. This was the man she had been searching for all this time? The man who wrote those articles about the body and the soul? The man who might know what was wrong with her?

  “It’s nice to make your acquaintance, Miss Bloodmayne.”

  He knew her name. Of course he did. Stephen had probably told him.

  She dropped her head into her hands. Too much all at once. One moment she was fighting the monster within, the next moment she was repairing Dr. Emmett’s body with that same power. And now—she gripped her face—the numbness had spread. Her entire chest, from the bottom of her ribcage to her collarbone, was dead inside.

  But maybe that didn’t matter, not if Dr. Latimer could cure her. Kat raised her head and her lips parted slightly. The dark clouds from moments before dissipated and she felt warm again, as if the sun had come out.

  “How are you feeling?” Dr. Latimer asked as he held a cloth before her.

  Kat tilted her head and frowned.

  “Here.” He shook the cloth. “For the blood on your face.”

  Her eyes widened and she took the small towel. “Where?”

  “Beneath your nose.”

  Kat dabbed the area and pulled the cloth back. Sure enough, there was a crimson stain across the white fabric.

  “Do you remember how you received those injuries?”

  Kat glanced back. “What injuries?”

  “There is some bruising across your face.”

  She touched her cheeks. She couldn’t remember being hit by anything, but she did remember fighting the monster to the point where stars appeared across her vision. She shook her head. “No, I don’t remember anything.”

  “Well, fortunately the bruises are small and will fade quickly. What about your head and nose? Any pain?”

  Kat paused. “No.”

  Dr. Latimer grabbed the nearby cot and pulled it over. “I’ll still want to keep an eye on you and for you to alert me to any changes. Now, if you are up to it, it seems you have been looking for me.”

  Kat lowered the cloth with tingling fingers. She still could hardly believe Dr. Latimer was finally here. “I have,” she said breathlessly. “Ever since I read your articles about the soul and body in one of the journals from the Tower.”

  “The Tower?”

  Kat took a deep breath. She would need to go all the way back to the beginning. The euphoria from moments ago bled into apprehension. What if he didn’t believe her? Or worse, thought she was crazy and belonged in an asylum? No. She took a deep breath. She had come too far, been through too much to stop now. She would tell him everything.

  Kat started from the beginning. With hesitant words, she told him about setting the nursery on fire and the time she moved the furniture and books during a strong emotional upheaval. “Every time I feel a strong emotion, something awakens inside of me, connecting me to every particle inside the room. I can feel everything, and move anything I want. I can make matter combust, or move it, or squeeze it together.”

  Dr. Latimer sat back and tapped his chin. “And what happens afterward?”

  Kat looked down. “I lose control.”

  “What do you mean by that?”

  “I can’t explain it. Just this overbearing desire to light everything on fire. Or crush everything. Sometimes there is a voice urging me to do it. I’ve been able to hold back the impulse, or fight it once it has started. But I’m afraid someday I won’t be able to stop.”

  “Have you ever hurt someone?”

  Kat looked away. “Yes,” she said in a small voice. Nausea swept over her and her face felt hot. “A month ago. A couple men were assaulting my friend. I grew angry. I threw two of them across the hall. Then I—”

  Her throat closed. The memories came rushing back. Marianne’s screams . . . smoke filling the hallway . . . the tendrils of fire creeping along the carpet. And Blaylock.

  Even the thought of him now made something burn inside of her. Kat clenched her hands. But did he really deserve to be set on fire?

  Yes.

  Kat shook her head. Wait. No.

  “Miss Bloodmayne?”

  The tent came back into focus. Dr. Latimer watched her with a keen gaze.

  “Yes, I hurt someone. I set Blaylock Sterling on fire.”

  Stephen’s eyebrows flew up into his hairline. Kat swallowed. She had never told him whom she had set on fire that night.

  “I see.” Dr. Latimer smoothed his trouser leg. “And how do you feel about that?”

  Kat shook her head. “I don’t know. Most of the time I feel bad. But sometimes . . .” She felt guilty even thinking such thoughts. But they were true, and she couldn’t deny them.

  “Have you done anything else since that night?”

  Kat rubbed her face. “Yes.” Slowly she shared about saving Stephen from the bounty hunters and landing the airship.

  “And has anything ever happened to you after using this power?”

  “Yes,” she whispered. “I’m growing numb inside. And the monster is growing stronger.”

  “Monster?”

  “That voice. That other . . . me. The one that wants to burn everything. It’s getting stronger. And as it does, the rest of me is growing numb.” She jabbed a finger just below her collarbone. “I can’t feel anything from here”—her hand moved to her bottom rib—“to here. And it’s not just physical. It’s my emotions too. I’m afraid that someday I will become numb all over and the monster inside will take over. And then . . .”

  “And then?”

  She shook her head vigorously. She would not say it aloud. She did not know the full extent of her power, but she could very well imagine. She could wipe out a room of people, or set the city on fire. Maybe even worse.

  The nausea spread and black spots appeared across her vision. Her body trembled and she clasped her hands together. No. She would not access that dark power again, not even to save another person. It had been a mistake to save Dr. Emmett. Because of her actions, the monster was close now, hovering right below the surface of her consciousness.

  Dr. Latimer stood and began to pace, pinching the bridge of his nose and shaking his head.

  “So do you know what’s wrong with her?” Stephen asked.

  Dr. Latimer stopped. “Did your father ever say anything? Did he know what you could do?”

  Kat shook her head. “No. Ms. Stuart told me never to tell
him, and I never did. But he discovered it the night I burned Blaylock. He arranged my capture and had me brought to the Tower.” She didn’t look at Stephen. She had already forgiven him, even if the memory brought a dull ache with it.

  “And what happened there?”

  Her fingers grew cold. “He took me to his secret laboratory and strapped me to a metal table.”

  Dr. Latimer looked up, his face intent. “This room, describe it for me.”

  A chill spread across her body. “It was dark, except for a couple green lanterns. There were four tables and a strange electric contraption.”

  “Do you remember any smells? Or strange symbols?”

  Kat shivered. “No, not that I can recall. I wasn’t awake for most of it.”

  Dr. Latimer rubbed the back of his neck. “I know that room, and I know what experiments Alexander worked on in there. If what you are saying is true—the things you have done—then it is as I feared.” He let out a long breath. “Alexander succeeded.”

  Chapter

  24

  You are the culmination of my life’s work.

  Her father’s words came back, ringing in Kat’s ears. This thing—this monster inside of her—he was proud of it. He had succeeded at his ultimate goal.

  “Succeeded at what?” Stephen asked. He sat on the cot across from Kat’s and folded his arms.

  Dr. Latimer dropped his hands and sighed. “To explain that, I will have to go back to the beginning. Dr. Alexander Bloodmayne was a brilliant young man, top of his class at the Tower, and immediately accepted into the science community upon graduation. I was one of his classmates. I also excelled in the sciences, but not like Alexander. He lived and breathed to learn. If Alexander had a god, it was knowledge, and he bowed to it every day.

  “Then Helen came along. She was from the prestigious Steele family. She was intelligent in her own right and invented the most amazing automatons. Her understanding of mechanical techniques surpassed even that of Alexander, and he loved her for it.”

  Kat shifted on the bed. Father never talked about Mother. To hear Dr. Latimer speak of her with such respect made Kat wish more than ever that she had known her.

  “They married and Alexander began pushing for the Tower to let women scientists work in the labs. After a couple years, the council finally relented when Alexander threatened to pull out altogether. At the time, he was working on multiple experiments, one being the healing serum he is so famous for now. But what most people didn’t know was that he wanted more. He wanted the power of life and death itself. And that’s where I come in.

  “I studied the human body. I have always been fascinated by how the human creature works, the intertwining of the physical, the mental, the emotional, and the spiritual. I started examining how interlinked all four parts were. At that time, and even now, humans are mainly viewed through the physical. We call ourselves enlightened, but we often deny the fact that there is more to us than our physical bodies. However, Alexander was an exception. He was interested in my studies and started asking me questions. At the time, I was as thirsty for knowledge as he was. We began to look outside normal scientific parameters and pushed the limits. What happened after death? How did life begin? Could such power be harnessed?

  “We started with animals, small ones, using whatever means we could to extrapolate the power released upon death, but nothing worked. Then Alexander came in one day with a couple of books and old scrolls. They had nothing to do with actual science. Instead, they were old writings from hundreds of years ago. One would almost call them ‘dark arts.’ ”

  Dr. Latimer sat down and gripped his hands together. “That is when our fights began. I told him we were scientists and should use scientific methods for our research, not these mystic means.”

  Kat understood what he meant. She herself had been reluctant to look outside of science for a cure. That is, until her notes blew away through the shattered bulkhead during the storm.

  “Alexander said I wasn’t being open-minded. As the months went by, I grew more and more disturbed by what he was doing. My understanding of God and souls had grown in that time as well, cautioning me toward these experiments. I began to believe there are powers we are never meant to tamper with because of the destruction they could cause. We are humans, finite and frail. To unleash such power could possibly damage us, and to think we could harness such power was hubris.

  “The experiments themselves . . .” Dr. Latimer lowered his head. Kat could almost see his thoughts swirling inside his mind. “I will not recount them here, only that I highly regret I was ever part of such activities.” He pressed his fingers to his forehead. “May God forgive me the evil I committed.”

  Outside, crickets chirped in the dark stillness, and the occasional murmur of voices drifted in as people passed the medical tent. But inside, the atmosphere was cold and silent.

  Dr. Latimer began again. “One night I found Alexander experimenting on himself, using the pagan rituals he had read about in the old texts. He had gone too far. I knew deep inside that what we were doing was breaking every corporeal law there was, and who knew what lay beyond. We were past the physical and into the spiritual, a place where we could potentially sever our souls.”

  Kat shivered and glanced at Stephen. He sat in the shadows, a dark, unreadable look on his face.

  “I told Alexander to stop.” Dr. Latimer held a hand to his face and spoke through his fingers. “I warned him that if he experimented with death, it could possibly taint his soul. Instead”—he glanced at Kat—“I believe he tainted yours.”

  Kat brushed her fingers along the base of her neck, but could not feel the sensation. “You think my soul is tainted?”

  “Given everything you have told me so far, something happened that night with your father, and it was passed on to you. After that, Alexander and I drew apart. I heard Helen was with child months later, then passed away during childbirth. A year later I was expelled from the Tower and sworn never to reveal what I knew.” He nodded toward Stephen. “Originally I thought the Tower had sent you to find me. Now I know better.”

  Stephen reciprocated the nod.

  Dr. Latimer turned back to Kat. “I wandered from job to job, looking for work where I could find it. I found out my writings and journals had been expunged from the Tower library. Eventually I joined the military and have been with them ever since.”

  Kat gripped her throat. Her father had tainted her? Then it was just as he had told her in the Tower. “My father said the same thing.”

  Dr. Latimer looked up.

  “While I was in the Tower, my father said that he had experimented on himself, and had unknowingly passed it on to me. But what I don’t understand is what he did to me. What am I?” She flung her hands out and looked down. “Am I still human? Or . . . or . . .” She clenched her hands and looked at Dr. Latimer. “What is wrong with me? Do you know?”

  Dr. Latimer shook his head. “I don’t know. Not yet. But I have some ideas that I want to think on. I will need to delve into Alexander’s thought process in order to deduce what he might have done.” He sighed. “And that is not going to be easy for me. For now, I suggest we eat and rest.”

  But I want answers! No, I want to be free of this! Kat looked from Dr. Latimer to Stephen and pinched her lips together. The emotions inside churned into a giant upheaval. Her blood began to whoosh through her veins.

  Kat scrunched up her face, then released the muscles. She took in a deep breath, willing herself to be calm. When she opened her eyes, she found Stephen watching her with an intent look. She had a feeling he knew what she was experiencing.

  “He’s right,” Stephen said after a moment. “We have much to think about, and doing so with an empty stomach and tired mind will only muddle our thoughts. We’re close, Kat. Only a little more time.”

  Kat wanted to hide her face in her hands and cry, but Stephen was right. By Dr. Latimer’s own admission, he only had theories, not answers. She needed to give the doctor
time to think. “All right.” Her head throbbed just above her eyes. “A cup of tea would be nice.”

  She started to stand, but Stephen stopped her. “I’ll bring you something back. In the meantime, rest.”

  “I agree with Mr. Grey. I will come back sometime tomorrow after I have finished my rounds. Until then . . .” Dr. Latimer dipped his head toward Kat, then left with Stephen.

  Kat lay back on the cot, clutching the wool blanket between her fingers. She listened to the sounds of the camp and watched the flame flicker inside the lamp that hung from the tent pole. She replayed Dr. Latimer’s words inside her mind. What kind of experiments had her father conducted? What rituals had he performed that scared Dr. Latimer? What did he do to her?

  Stephen returned twenty minutes later with a steaming tin cup and a plate of mush with some kind of gray meat on the side. He handed them both to her. “It’s not much, but with the whole base in disarray, it’s all they had. At least I found some tea.”

  One look at the food and Kat’s stomach turned over. “I think I’ll just have the tea, thank you.”

  Stephen reached over and took the plate. “I thought as much. Still, it wouldn’t be good to waste food.” He scooped up the mash with a fork and took a bite. “Could be better.” He ate all the mush and picked at the meat while Kat sipped the tea. The tin cup felt warm beneath her fingers and she clutched the cup close.

  Stephen wiped his lips with his handkerchief and cast the plate of half-eaten food aside. “So”—he turned his attention to Kat—“how did you really get those bruises?”

  Kat gingerly touched her face. “I’m not sure.”

  “Doctor Latimer said they were from intense strain. Did you use your power again?”

  “Yes,” she whispered.

  “And?”

  “I shouldn’t have done it. I want to do good, I want to help people. But . . .” She closed her hand into a fist and held it against her heart. “This can never be used for good.”

  “What did you do?”