by Tara Brown
Will gives me a signal for going to look. I shake my head and creep from the field. I have the bow. I kill quieter than he does.
My arrow is at the ready. My feet make their first crunch on the gravel, which starts my heartbeat.
I don’t do circles. I know Will has my back. It's a nice feeling. I lower the bow and put the arrow back. I unsheathe my hunting knife.
Sweat lingers on my face. Summer has started. It comes earlier every year.
I look in the barn first. I hear footsteps, but I know they're Will's. He is walking behind me, watching my six. Anna is next out of the forest. Hopefully she has left Jake and Sarah in the field.
The barn is empty. I lift the bunker cover on the floor and am excited when I see my stuff sitting there.
"We'll clear the house."
I look at Anna as she walks behind him into the barn. “Don’t forget the basement cellar.” She nods. I pick up my hunting rifle with the scope and toss it at her. She beams when she sees it.
Will frowns. “That’s a lot of fire power for her.” He's too serious.
I raise an eyebrow. “She saved my life with it. She's probably a better shot than you with it."
He snorts. She pushes his arm but it looks forced. I can see she isn’t as playful or friendly with him yet. She sees the differences in him. At least she is pushing and teasing him now.
I pull the boots off and rub the bottoms of my feet. I pull on some socks I have stored and the boots I always stockpiled here. My feet sigh with relief as I tie the laces. I instantly feel better.
I grab a few sealed bags of jerky and some water bottles.
Jake and Sarah are standing in the wheat field. I can see his face and wave at him to come.
I wish we could all live here. I can see us running this farm.
Lost in my daydream, I don’t hear it until it's too late. Sarah and Jake are walking across the gravel chatting like blue jays. A shot echoes through the clear sky as a dust spot rises from the ground in front of Jake and Sarah.
I scream, “RUN!” My arms are waving. The jerky drops from my hands and the water bottles roll along the gravel. I have an arrow out and pulled and am running to where they are ducking.
Jake picks her up and sprints in his hobbled way to the side of the house. I catch a glimpse of the flash from the scope and let loose the arrow. I have another pulled and am searching the windy field.
I don’t see anything but a shot rings out again and a dust spot appears to my right. I run into the field and duck with the arrow drawn. A dark shape appears through the wheat and leaps at me from the right side. As I go down, I see I’m surrounded.
My bow drops but I have my hunting knife out again. I am stabbing but the person taking me to the ground moves faster than I do. His hands grip my wrists and he smiles cruelly as he takes me to the ground. He pins my wrists to the ground and I cry out, “Why?"
He laughs. “I knew you would have places like this. I knew he would set you up."
Serge has me pinned. His weight is holding my body to the ground. I try kicking him, but he is too wide between my legs for me to get a good kick in.
"You sure have gotten pretty, Emma Ray."
I cringe. “Screw you."
He presses himself into me. “I think that can be arranged.” He whistles. I hear the hay whisper where the other people are in the field. It sounds like the wheat rustles in about seven locations.
"I never imagined you would be a rebel though. When we saw you heading there, I was pretty surprised. Your daddy would be proud of the woman you've become.” His eyes leer. He licks his chapped lips, making me gag.
I expect several outcomes. Will will fight and probably kill three, Anna will get at least two, and Jake will die immediately. The rest of us will be taken captive. Will will die trying to stop them.
What I don’t expect happens as Serge lowers his face to mine. His hot breath is an inch from my face when a dark shape rolls him from me. I see fur and fangs. He cries out but the huge jaw tears open his throat.
I reach for the fur. Leo growls at me. He is scolding me. I know this. I bow my head to him. He snorts and shakes his head. Blood coats his muzzle.
I hear a gunshot and know the fight has started so I lift the bow from the ground and pull an arrow fast. My hand trembles but I steady my arm and release the arrow, hitting a man with red hair in the throat. It's the man whose nose I broke.
I pull another arrow as hot tears start to drip down my cheeks. I hit a dark-haired man who is holding Sarah around the throat and pointing a gun at Jake. My arrow slices through his temple.
Anna has shot two men and Will is ground fighting with what I think is the last of them. I don’t see movements. I hear the sobs in my chest but I can't stop them. It's like my body needs the release and whether I like it or not, I am going to cry. I look down at Leo and drop to my knees. He doesn’t leap at me like normal. He can sense the differences. He comes slowly. He nudges me and covers me with his warmth. I cry into him. His thick dark fur sticks to my tears and spit. He senses the shift in me. I know he does.
I sense it in him too. I've left him for too long and he's come looking for me. He's thinner than I remember him being. How long has he waited in the fields for me to come to him? A moment passes that contains all of the things that could have happened. I don’t fight the bad thoughts. I let them pass through me and leave from the other side, like I’m mourning every possibility as though it happened. It’s my way of getting rid of fear.
"Jake, it's Leo.” Anna runs to me.
Her footsteps on the gravel scare me. Not because someone is running to me, but because she is making noise in a place that’s always been quiet. The quiet is gone. I fear for the old farmhouse.
"Goddamn, Emma. That was disgusting. His brains came right out the other side. Sarah is still throwing up,” Jake says, making a gagging sound.
I chuckle. It's soft and probably not a real laugh, but I need something. My father's friend was going to tear my clothes and tear me the way he probably has a hundred other girls. The world is upside down now. Nothing has goodness in it except the people we are with.
I hear my father's words in my head, Survival means taking from everyone else. It's just you and me, Em. It's us and them. But my circle of hugs and warmth grows, and it's not just him and me. I feel Anna join and Jake. Then Sarah, who is nervous of the wolf and hugs only me. Will hovers over us looking at Anna. "You are a deadly shot, Anna. You deserve that rifle."
She looks up at him and smiles. “Someone had to keep Jake alive."
Jake laughs. Will smiles, but I can see the hurt the comment causes on his face. She doesn’t mean it the way he takes it.
Leo sits with his eyes closed and his mouth in his wolf smile. He loves the pets and strokes Anna and I are giving him.
"I missed you too. I missed you bad. Where's Meg?"
His eyes open. He whines. I sigh. “Christ, is she gone?"
He nuzzles into me.
"You speak wolf?"
The comment makes me smile when I look over at Sarah's bewildered expression. “No, I speak Leo. He doesn’t speak wolf either. He speaks me." I hold his massive face and look back into his yellow wolf eyes. “Buddy, is Meg gone?" He licks his lips and whines. I feel sick. He's anxious. Something isn’t right. I look up at Will. “Do the camps get attacked?"
Will looks like he might say no, but he stops himself and nods. “Once. It was a long time ago. Not that camp but another one. Why? Is he saying that?"
I shake my head. “He's anxious, and I left him with Meg. He left food and a bed to come find me. Seems weird. He's lost weight. He's been hunting for himself. He leans out when he hunts alone. Sometimes when I would camp out in one of our houses, he would stay in the woods nearby and hunt. He would always lean out."
Will looks toward the mountain. “We need to get going then.”
"Anna, go close off the bunker—and Jake, close up the house. I'll get Leo some water and refill the water bottl
es."
Will smiles. “I'll stay guard and Sarah can give me a hand." She smiles at him. She likes him a lot. I wonder if she feels safe with him the way I do.
I stay focused on his blue eyes for a second and then force myself up. I run my fingers along Leo's fur as we walk to the huge well. I pump the primer and then lift and pump the handle. I always let the first few pumps of water leave the spout and spill onto the ground. Leo knows not to drink them.
He waits patiently. I pull out the pan that I leave lying around the well house, from its hiding spot. I rinse it and fill it with the cold water after about fifteen wasted pumps. Leo laps it up fast. He looks up expectantly when the shallow bowl is empty. I fill it three times before he doesn’t seem interested.
I fill the water bottles in my backpack. I drink one full bottle of the fresh, clean water and then refill it. Anna comes over and drinks one and lets me refill it too. Jake joins Will and Sarah. His limp is still pronounced. I wonder if it'll ever be better.
We leave the farm in a way that makes me feel odd. We walk and talk and snack on the jerky I had stored the last time I was stocking my supply cupboards.
Leo doesn’t seem to like leaving either. He is restless. But I’m worried about Meg.
When we pass by the meeting tree, I can see Leo has slept here. The grass and branches around it are in the shape of one of his nests.
We turn the opposite way of my cabin and my heart tugs. I want to go home. Leo stands there for a second and whines.
"Come on, boy."
He trots behind and keeps perfect pace with me for a while. Soon he relaxes and starts to trust that I am not going anywhere and moves ahead. He scouts perfectly. He is silent and sharp.
We move along the hillside without talking. I have given Jake a dirty look every time he started talking to Sarah and laughing out loud. He is going to get us killed one day.
I look up as we near the camp to see the scout in the tree. Will waves and the scout shouts down, “Holy crap, look what the cat dragged in."
Will waves and laughs. “Actually, it's what the wolf dragged in.” He looks back at me. Leo raises a lip at Will as I stroke Leo’s face.
The camp is bustling, just as it was when we left. Mary comes running up and I hear the squeal of the little white-haired brat. "Wolfie!"
Leo curls into me. The little monster comes barreling at us. Before I have a chance, Anna has his little arms. “The wolf is going to bite you. We trained it to bite little kids."
She turns and growls at Leo who growls back. The little monster cries and runs away.
Anna gives me a look. I've warned her about the little monster. Mary gives me an evil stare. "He means no harm.” Her voice is soft and insulted as he runs to her and hugs her. He fake cries and snuggles into her. He looks back at us and makes the production even louder. I roll my eyes. “Mary, this is Sarah."
Will cuts me off. “And my sister Anna and my brother Jake."
Mary smiles at Jake, making him blush. She walks over and kisses Will on the cheek. “Welcome home and welcome to the rest of you.”
I walk away and head to the tent; I have one thing I need to find. Leo is clinging to me. He keeps looking back at the bratty kid in Mary's arms. I look down at him. “I know, buddy. I won't let him hurt you."
Our tent looks smaller than I remember it. I open the flap and heat rises in my face instantly. Meg is in the embrace of a guy I would guess is somewhere around thirty—mid-thirties even. Before I wait for explanations or introductions, Meg's eyes flicker and she starts screaming. She knows what’s coming. She can see the madness in my eyes. I can't stop the momentum. I leap into the tent and rip him away from her. I'm choking him on the ground and she is tearing at my arms. Leo is in the tent and growling. His slobber is falling all over the man's face.
The guy’s hands go up in the air as he tries to choke words out, but I'm holding his throat with all my might.
"Emma, sweet mother of all things holy, stop trying to kill him. He's my boyfriend. Eric honey, this is Emma. Emma. EMMA!" She is slapping the hell out of me, but I take every hit, squeezing the life outta him.
I ignore her and smash his head down on the soft cushy pillows. I wish they were a rock. I grab the pillow to smother him as Leo leans in closer. “LEO CAME AND FOUND ME, MEG! HE WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU!” I understand his anxiousness. He knows this pervert has been taking advantage of Meg. She probably kicked Leo out of the tent. I want to throw up thinking about this freak hurting her.
"EMMA!” A man's angry voice fills the tent as arms grab me and strong hands lift me off of the pervert, but I kick. My boot lands square in Eric’s face and I hear the crunch as blood gushes from it. His hands fly to protect his face but I get a few more kicks off before I'm dragged from the man's body.
Meg’s on me, slapping and screaming. “STOP, EMMA! STOP!"
“He's an old creep, Meg! He's taking advantage of you!"
“STOP!” Mary is in my face. She pets my cheeks patronizingly. “Emma, Meg's turned sixteen. She is allowed to choose her lovers at sixteen. That's camp law."
I kick Meg in the thigh with my boot making her squeal. “She lied to you. She doesn’t turn sixteen yet. She's still fifteen. And sixteen is too damned young for thirty anyway. How old is he?"
Mary looks at Meg who stops and looks down like she’s suddenly ashamed. Mary looks pissed at her but looks back at me. “You have no right to attack anyone, Emma. Not here. We are a peace camp."
Will shakes me from behind and grips my arms tighter. “Emma, call Leo off.” I can still see the tent wiggling. I know Leo is probably eating the bleeding man. I wait and let him suffer for a few more seconds.
“EMMA, NOW! BEFORE HE KILLS HIM!” Will grips me harder, shouting my name. Leo is out of the tent before I have to call him and jumping at Will. He knocks us both to the ground and stands over me, growling in Will's face.
Meg cries, “Leave him be, Emma! You ain't my momma! Eric? Baby?"
I’m up and off the ground in seconds, glaring in the tent at the bleeding man. “YOU SO MUCH AS LOOK AT HER AND I KILL YOU! YOU THINK I CARE ABOUT SOME STUPID CAMP RULES? YOU THINK THAT PROTECTS YOU FROM ME?” I scream at him and then look at her and point. “Get him out of my tent. I will kill him before you turn sixteen, Meg.” Leo still has Will on the ground.
The bleeding, half-naked man stumbles out of the tent. His arm has a good bite mark on it that is seeping in a slow stream of blood.
He glares at me. “Crazy psycho."
"Damned pervert,“ I spit at him.
He comes at me but I am ready. I punch him in the eye and he screams again and stumbles back. I leap at him but my body is caught mid-air. Jake holds me to him and covers my face. He’s chuckling and holding me to him, away from the man.
Will growls, “Meg, is it? Get your friend out of here."
Meg is on her knees crying. I want to choke her, not to death—just till she loses her memory and forgets he exists but Mary steps in the way. “No, let me. Eric and I have some talking to do. This isn’t his first offense in this area."
Will gets Leo off of him and grabs my arm, ripping me out of Jake's embrace. “Jesus Christ, you are insane sometimes."
Jake laughs and steps between us. “She was raised by wolves, Willy boy. What do you expect?"
I laugh. It isn’t bitter or angry; it is a real laugh.
Will tries to grab at me. “You are insane.” But Jake steps between us again. I peek my head around Jake and smile. “I was raised by wolves.”
He snarls and stalks off after Mary.
Chapter Eighteen
Her tears bother me. I can't stand that she's upset that they can't be together.
"You're not like Romeo and Juliet, moron. He's, like, an old man and you know it. He's a pervert.” Anna is trying to talk sense to her. She sounds like Jake as she talks. Meg ignores her and howls in pain. Sarah holds her tightly and strokes her head.
"It ain't easy to find a good man who'll take care of you."
My nails cut into my palms. “You don’t need a man. I'll take care of you."
Meg cries louder, “I hate you, Emma."
“Oh good God.” I sigh and look at Sarah. “You ready for a swim?"
She nods. She seems intimidated again.
"The same thing is going to happen to you if you date old guys. I kill old perverts."
Sarah frowns. “What's a pervert?"
I sigh. “Let's go swim, kid."
I leave the camp area and walk the path that I have thought of a million times. Every branch and stone is burned into my memory. It's the first time I felt something amazing enough to make this kind of a mark on my mind—a positive one.
I have no words for what Sarah is about to see, and I don’t want to ruin it for her. I want her to see the whole thing the way I did. It feels more dramatic at night.
We crest the hill and walk down the slope. Sarah is behind me. We walk into the clearing and the swimming hole is visible to the right of us. I see the awe on her face. She takes a breath and takes it all in as she walks to the large flat stone and stands there, mesmerized.
Mary is beside me suddenly. “What's her story?"
I shrug. “Abandoned by her own mother. Sold to the military for smokes. Sent into the breeder camps. They take them young now and get them healthy so they can breed them as young as fifteen or sixteen."
She looks horrified.
"It's so much worse than you can imagine."
Mary squeezes my hand suddenly with her warm soft hand and whispers, “Let's not ruin the moment for her then by discussing it."
I like Mary. I can't help myself. Her kid is a pain in the butt and she lets grown men have relations with sixteen-year-old kids, but I still like her. I like her like a sister. An older sister. She is free the way Jake is. None of the nonsense of the new world has destroyed the joy inside of her.
I pull my shirt off, determined to be the first one to crack the flat glass of the calm water. The moon is full and high in the sky and it’s reflected perfectly on the lake water. I push my bottoms off and see Mary pulling her dress off. I kick my boots off, run for the water, and shallow dive in just like my dad taught me to do.
