by Cole Lepley
He takes a large sip. “I only hoped this would happen, although I wasn’t sure I’d be right.”
I wrap my arms around myself and lean back against the counter. “I’m not sure what this is. This morning I basically told him to get lost and then I spent most of the evening with his tongue in my mouth. He probably thinks I’m crazy.”
“My guess is he likes it.”
I narrow my eyes. “I don’t want him to think I’m crazy. I want to be sure about my choices and not be so indecisive all the time.”
Zander sets his cup down and dusts his hands off on a towel. “That’s not how relationships work, my dear. You’re inevitably going to question things, probably more than once, and that’s not something you can avoid. The only thing you have to decide is if your feelings for him are worth all of that or not.”
I tilt my head to him and smile. “You know, you have some good advice. I only wish you could apply it to your own love life.”
He huffs a laugh. “Honey, when you’re as beautiful as me there’s no need to settle yourself down to just one person.” He motions down his designer clothes and meticulously toned body. “These looks may fade. I have to take advantage of it while I still can.”
All I can do is laugh. His self-confidence is one of my favorite qualities about him. That and his ability to keep me from freaking out and destroying my life on an almost daily basis.
I cross the small space between us and wrap my arms around his waist. “I honestly don’t know what I’d ever do without you.”
He kisses the top of my head and hugs me back. “Right back at ya, dollface.” When I look up at him, his expression turns serious. “I don’t care how big he is—if he ever hurts you, I’ll kill him. You know that, right?”
I nod as I work to swallow the familiar lump in my throat. I actually do know that, only this time, I hope it isn’t necessary.
Chapter 15
Moving The Line
Judah
The alarm on my phone pulls me out of my restless sleep. With a sigh, I reach to the nightstand to shut it off. I let my head fall back into the pillow while I stare out of my window. The early morning light is just beginning to peek through the curtains, but it feels blinding to my tired eyes. I barely slept at all.
Every time I closed them all I could think about was what happened. Her soft lips, her warm tongue—the sexy little noises she made. Kissing Mackenzie is something I’ve thought about more often than I would like to admit. There’s something about her that’s drawing me in, although I’m not sure what it is. I haven’t wanted to full-on be with someone since Elliot, and I have a feeling that’s about to change.
Deciding procrastination will only make me late, I throw the covers back and head to the shower. Ten minutes later I sit back down on the edge of my bed with a towel wrapped around my waist. My phone buzzes with a new message.
Mackenzie: I’m running late. You don’t have to wait for me…
Me: I don’t mind. How much time do you need?
She takes longer to respond than I would like and I drum my fingers on my thighs anxiously.
Mackenzie: Fifteen minutes. Sorry, I didn’t get much sleep last night.
My heart catches in my throat at her reply. A familiar pounding in my chest returns after being gone for so long. Was she thinking about me too?
I stand to get dressed after assuring her it would be fine. After throwing on my usual lazy T-shirt and jeans, I grab my hat from the floor of my closet. Fifteen extra minutes gives me just enough time to do something nice for her. Truth be told, I never put in much effort to impress a girl before. I’ve never had to.
Jogging down the stairs, I make my way out to my truck. I plot my route perfectly and return ten minutes later. I smile to myself as I grab the cup carrier before walking back to the apartment building. During our tutoring sessions there were multiple occasions where I got bored enough to stare at Mackenzie’s coffee cup—well, when I wasn’t staring at other parts of her.
I’m still five minutes early, so it doesn’t surprise me when Zander answers the door. He’s dressed this time, thankfully, and gives me a lazy nod before stepping back to let me inside.
“She’s not ready yet,” he yawns. His eyes light up when I hand him a random latte I picked off the menu.
“Sorry, man. I had no idea how you like it,” I say.
He groans in appreciation after taking a sip. “Any way I can get it.” He gives me a wink and I laugh a little. His eyes scan the other cup and then he pats me on the back. “Good job. You’re exceeding my expectations.”
I laugh. “Doubting me already?”
“No offense,” he says quickly. He gives me half a shrug. “I’m protective of her. That’s all.”
I nod. “Yeah, I get it.”
Zander sets his cup down and reaches for his bag by the door. After slinging it over his shoulder, he turns back to me. His eyes are hard as he looks me up and down. “You may be big shit around here, but if you hurt Mack, I’ll hurt you.” He pokes me in the chest with enough force that I know he’s serious.
He’s a fairly large guy. That coupled with his obvious love for her could spell trouble for me if I step out of line. I clasp him on the shoulder and meet his eyes.
“Dude, I swear. I’m not fucking around. I like her.” I pause for a moment and glance down the hallway. When Mackenzie doesn’t appear to be in sight, I tilt my head to him. “A lot.”
He nods, the crease in his brow no longer furrowed. “Okay. I think I believe you.”
I smile. “Thanks, man. Your approval means a lot to me.”
“Well, when you’re about to do something really fucking stupid, I want you to remember that.”
“Will do.”
Mackenzie emerges from around the corner, her hair in a mess of waves down her shoulders. She’s so beautiful in so many ways. I don’t know what I did to deserve her. When she comes to a stop beside me, I’m unsure what to do. We never talked about what last night would mean. Not that it has to mean anything. We just made out for a couple hours on her couch. No big deal.
I hand her the coffee she drinks twice daily and she bites her lip to hide a smile when she sees the label.
Point for me.
She tilts her head up to me. “You ready to go?”
My heart skips another beat when my eyes land on her lips. I want to kiss her already. Instead, I flash a smile and open the door for her. She follows me down to my truck in a comfortable silence. The air between isn’t awkward like I thought it would be. It just feels right.
The drive to campus is always short, but I need to say something. When I open my mouth to speak, she beats me to it.
“So, last night was kind of intense.”
I glance over at her, but she doesn’t look at me. “I’m not complaining.”
My attempt at a joke doesn’t get much of a reaction out of her. She continues to stare down at her hands folded in her lap.
“Judah, I’m not sure what it meant for you, but I think I need to be honest.”
Her words bring my pounding heart to a stop. She regrets it. I take a deep breath as I pull into the parking lot next to the Art building. After throwing my truck in park, I turn to her.
“Okay, let me have it.” I motion forward with my hand and she laughs.
Mackenzie reaches over to grab my hand and pulls it into her lap. “It’s not like that.” She lowers her eyes for a moment. “I like you.”
A smile breaks across my face and I lean down to her. “I like you, too.”
The answering blush spreading across her cheeks makes it easier to breathe. So far, this isn’t so bad.
“But…”
And here it comes.
She takes a breath, trailing her fingers along our intertwined hands. “But I need you to be patient with me.”
I reach my other hand over and tuck the hair that’s shielding her face behind her ear. When I have her full attention, I place a kiss to her cheek. “Whatever you need,
babe. All you have to do is ask.”
She smiles again, the worry fading from her face. She opens her mouth to speak again, but shakes her head with a slight laugh.
“What?” I ask, amusement lacing my voice.
“Is it weird that I kind of like it now?”
I give her a smirk before placing a soft kiss on her lips. “Who are you fooling? I think you always did.”
I’m still getting dressed in the locker room when Holden comes up behind me with a tape measure. He wraps it around my waist before I pull it off and give him a shove backward.
“What the fuck are you doing?”
He chuckles, almost stumbling over the bench. “I need to make sure your outfit for Homecoming will fit good.”
Preston bites his fist to keep from laughing a few lockers down.
“Hilarious guys.” I pull my T-shirt angrily over my head and glare at Preston. “That was a bullshit bet and you know it.”
He closes his locker with purpose. “No way, player. You’re not getting out of this one. A bet’s a bet.” He stalks over to me and points his finger in my chest. “Bullshit or not.”
“Whatever,” I scoff, tossing my towel in my bag. “I didn’t lose yet.”
Holden and Preston exchange a mocking look. Several of the other guys from the team also gather around us. The bet has been the topic of conversation more and more lately. There’s only two weeks left and all the extra time I’ve been spending with Mack hasn’t gone unnoticed.
“You gonna bring her to the party this weekend?” Holden asks with a grin.
I shrug. If I have any chance at salvaging my reputation, I need to appear aloof. “I invited her and her roommate. She might come.”
Preston rolls his eyes. “Uh-huh.” He steps around Holden and throws his arm over my shoulder. “You see, Judah. We know your pretty boy ass is falling for that girl.” He swirls his free hand around the room and I try to push away from him. He holds me in a headlock with a laugh. “You can’t run, player. We’re gonna be watching.”
With a grunt, I give him a forceful shove back against the lockers, only causing him to laugh harder. He points his finger to me after steadying his stance. “I’m taking your aggression as a sign of defeat.”
I hold my hands out to my sides and face the room of curious eyes. “Hey, I’m single as fuck. I’m not about to let some girl drag me down again.”
A series of cheers goes around the room. Preston leans into me again, extending his hand. He pulls me into him and clasps me hard on the back. “That’s what I’m talking about, brother.” He releases me with a megawatt grin. “I missed this guy.”
I give a confident nod. “Don’t worry, man. I won’t make the same mistake twice.”
Even before the lie escapes my lips, I already feel guilty. It couldn’t be farther from the truth. I know it’s a shitty reason to lie, but my reputation with my friends has been questionable. These things are important. I’m still a guy after all.
“Okay, okay,” Preston says rubbing his hands together. “Just make sure you bring that game to the Sig Phi party on Saturday. You have some catching up to do.” He exchanges high fives from a couple guys before falling into an animated conversation with them.
Holden eyes me wearily from his locker beside me. I know what he’s thinking. He knows me far better than anyone here and I can only hope he keeps his thoughts to himself. We exchange a look after I gather the rest of my things into my bag.
He nudges my shoulder when I attempt to step past him. I stop, but don’t look down. “What?” I speak through gritted teeth, and he laughs.
“It’s not what you think,” he says, keeping his voice low. “If you like her, don’t ruin it over a stupid bet.”
“I know what I’m doing.”
“Yeah,” he says with a short laugh. “You seem to forget I was there when everything went down last year. I don’t want to see that happen again just because you’re too proud to admit you caught feelings.”
My jaw ticks, but I keep my temper in check. “Like I said. I got this.”
I’m not stupid. I know everyone is waiting for me to fail. The thing is, there’s only one person whose feelings I care about. As I leave the locker room, I make a silent promise to myself. If anyone will get let down, it won’t be her.
Chapter 16
The Beautiful Ones
Mackenzie
Three days into our new arrangement and Judah is already studying with me in my bedroom. He’s lying on his side next to me pretending to go over his project. I’m pretty sure he’s just texting and scrolling through Instagram. I, however, need to focus.
It’s been two weeks since I’ve gotten the invitation for the semester abroad at Sotheby’s in London. After transferring here at the end of last year, I never thought I would get the chance to be a part of something so amazing. This is an opportunity that could literally define my future. So why am I not sure if I want to go?
Judah brushes the hair dangling in my face away with the tip of his pen. He gives me that lopsided grin when my eyes meet his. “You seem stressed, babe. What’s up?”
I blow out a quick breath and close the notebook on my lap. “Nothing. I have a lot to sort out before midterms, that’s all.”
He pushes his laptop aside and slips his arm around my waist to draw me into him. He kisses the side of my head first, then my cheek, before getting to my lips. My unease fades away as I let myself melt into him. I’m falling for him harder than I would like to admit. It’s been so long since I even considered being with someone in that way. I honestly thought I never would again. It didn’t take long for Judah to change my mind.
When his hands travel lower than I want to take this, I pull back. “This isn’t helping us accomplish anything.”
His deep chuckle washes over me and I fight the urge to pull him closer. I’m not ready to take that step with him yet.
He places one last kiss to my temple before shifting his weight off of me. “Okay, you win this time.” He grabs his notebook and opens to a blank page. “To be honest, I’ve been mostly dicking off since I got here. I seriously need to finish this assignment.”
“I’m not doing my job well enough, apparently. Aren’t I supposed to be the one to keep you on track?”
Judah leans over and catches my lips again. “I like this distraction.”
I give him a quick peck before shoving him back to his side of the bed. “Of course you do. You’re a guy.”
He shakes his head. “It’s not like that with you. I enjoy hanging out with you. It feels… real. If that makes sense.”
I think I understand more than he realizes. Things with me and Sean weren’t exactly conventional. At school, and in public, we were the perfect couple. I don’t think anyone knew about the darkness he carried inside of him. I was the only who got to see the result of it.
Judah pats my knee to get my attention, so I look down to him and smile. “No, I totally get what you mean.” I keep my voice causal. As much as I’d like to share all of my secrets, I’m not sure I’m ready for that yet either. I like the way he looks at me now. If he knew all the things I’ve done I have a feeling that may change.
We go back to our separate assignments until Judah knocks his bottle of water onto the floor. I cringe when he reaches down for it. I haven’t been keeping up with my laundry and I fear some of it will spill out from under my bed. My suspicions are confirmed when Judah pulls a T-shirt up with his drink. His brows rise as he holds it out in front of him. I have the opposite reaction. My stomach drops as I take in the deep blue fabric.
“You went to Yale?”
I nod slowly. “Yeah. That’s where I transferred from.”
He laughs. “Why would you transfer from Yale? That school is amazing.” When my face falls a little, he squeezes my hand. “Not that Cornell isn’t amazing too.”
I keep my eyes focused on our hands. “No, you’re right. Yale is amazing. I had to leave.”
His thumb rubs across my
hand and I feel his eyes watching me, waiting for me to explain myself. My chest seizes and breathing is almost impossible. I can’t tell him why.
“Hey,” he says softly, tilting my chin up so I have to look at him. “We all have a past. Most of us, myself included, aren’t proud of it. You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to.”
As much as his words should bring me comfort, they don’t. I hate that he’s being so open with me and I can’t offer the same in return. Instead of answering him, I do what I always do. I change the subject.
“What are you going to do about Homecoming?” I gesture to the small space between us. “I mean, your friends will know something is up with us if we keep acting the way we’ve been.”
He wraps his arms around me and brings me back against him. His lips brush the side of my head. “I don’t care. Being with you is worth dancing around like an idiot before the game.” He shrugs. “Besides, maybe they won’t even know it’s me?”
I shoot him a skeptical look. “They’ll know. The bet has been making its way around campus for a while now. All we have to do is show up to your frat party together on Saturday and it’s pretty much a done deal.”
“Fuck em.” He brings his lips inches from my mouth. “They’re just jealous, anyway.”
“Of what?”
He smiles, bringing the dimple out in his cheek again. “Of all the mad game I have.”
Even though he sounds cocky and kind of like a douche—I like it. Judah was able to do the unthinkable. He made me want to be normal again.
By the end of the week, Judah has officially spent the night. We only slept next to each other, but it was a big step for me. To be honest, I didn’t sleep very much. Every time I closed my eyes, I was terrified of what might happen if I fell asleep. The last thing I wanted was to wake up in a pool of sweat, screaming bloody murder. That’s a sure fire way to get a guy running for the hills.
