by Cole Lepley
Although he tried to convince me otherwise, Judah’s taking a shower upstairs in his apartment. We both have an early class today so I’m trying to get ready as quickly as I can. When I have a semi decent outfit together I shove the rest of my books into my bag. That’s when I spot Judah’s phone on my dresser. It’s still lit up with Elliot’s name flashing across his screen when I pick it up.
I instantly get a pang of jealousy and I’m not sure why. I’ve never been that girl who gets upset over every little thing, but there’s something about his relationship with her that’s unnerving. With the minimal information he gave me, I can’t understand why they would still be friends.
I don’t have to think for long because Judah comes strolling back into my bedroom. His hair is still damp from his shower and he has the adorable, oblivious smile on his face. I’m not sure what my face looks like, but his eyes drift to the phone still burning a hole in my hand.
He reaches for it. “So that’s where I left it.”
I can only nod as I step past him. He sighs from behind me before his hand grabs my arm. “It’s not what you think.”
Taking a deep breath to collect myself, I turn around to face him.
“I didn’t say anything.”
He cocks his head. “I’m not dumb, babe. I can tell you’re pissed.”
“You can talk to whoever you want. I’m not going to tell you what to do.”
“It’s not about Elliot, it’s about Ollie.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Who’s Ollie?”
Judah laughs, running his hand down my arm so he can lace our fingers together. “Ollie is Elliot’s brother, and one of my best friends. He’s going through some shit that not too many people know about. We’re just trying to help him.”
“And she needs it to be you?” I try to keep the bitterness out of my tone, but fail miserably. I’ve never even met this girl and already she gets under my skin.
He pulls me by my hand to bring me close to him, wrapping his arms around me. He kisses the top of my head. “Don’t be jealous, Mack. She’s my friend, nothing more.”
I lean back to look up into his eyes to see if he’s trying to pull one over on me. He seems sincere enough. I guess I’ll have to trust him until he gives me a reason not to.
By trust him, I mean stalk her on Instagram. Zander’s idea, not mine. He cracks his knuckles in front of him like a trained assassin as we both hover around my laptop. We’re seated on the living room floor with my computer propped up on the coffee table. He turns to me with a devious grin.
“You ready for this? Once we see this girl, there’s no turning back. You will forever compare yourself to whatever we may find.”
I give him a forceful nudge with my elbow. “Don’t be so dramatic. I need to see what I’m up against.”
“Okay,” he says in a sing-song voice. His fingers pause on top of the keyboard. “What’s her name again?”
“Elliot Monroe.”
She evens sounds fancy. I bet her profile is private. I close my eyes as he types in the search bar. Maybe I don’t want to see her. What if she’s way prettier than me?
Zander’s laughter causes my eyes to pop open, panic consuming me. “What’s so funny?”
“Well,” he says, drawing out the word. “You don’t have to worry about her being prettier than you.”
My eyes focus on the girl smiling on the screen. Her hair falls down her shoulders in long hickory waves, and her eyes are the perfect mixture of golden brown and green. She’s not pretty—she’s flawless.
“Great,” I say, slumping back against the couch. “She’s even prettier than I imagined.”
Zander looks to me and then back to the screen. His eyes widen. “Are you blind, Mack? She looks just like you.”
I scoff. “You’re crazy.” I point dramatically to the screen. “That girl looks like she should be on the cover of magazines.” I motion down to my torn jeans and plain t-shirt. “I, however, look like I just rolled out of bed.”
Zander laughs. “You need to look in the mirror, girl. You’re smoking hot.” He continues to scroll down her page until he gets to a picture of her and an equally attractive guy. They have the same color hair, the same eyes, and the same arrogant smiles.
“Ooh, who’s that guy?” Zander’s eyes brighten with lust as I read the caption: Ollie and me @ Fall Festival.
“That’s her older brother. The reason Judah stays in such close contact, apparently.”
Zander takes a long swig of his water. “I can’t say I blame him.”
I sputter a laugh and close the laptop. Zander looks over at me in disgust. “Hey, I wasn’t done with that yet.”
“He’s having girl problems,” I say, standing up from the floor.
“That’s his first problem. Girls are nothing but trouble.”
I throw a pen at him and he dodges it with a laugh. He holds his hands up in defeat. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry. But you have to admit, we would make a pretty nice couple.”
I can’t help but smile as I continue toward the kitchen. Zander always has a way of turning an awkward situation around until it’s somehow about him. Now instead of dwelling over how gorgeous Elliot is, I can’t stop picturing him trying to seduce her brother. If only things in my life could be as simple as Zander views them. Not everyone can be that sure of themselves. Especially not me.
Chapter 17
Friday Night Lights
Judah
The music blares through my headphones as I stare across the field. The stands are packed, and it’s not a surprise. We always have a full house during home games. There is also a rumor scouts will be here tonight. None of those things are the reason why I’m nervous. I invited Mack to come and see me play and I don’t think she’s going to. Even if she decided I was worthy of a shot, it still doesn’t make her any less opposed to football. I can’t figure out why she hates it so much.
My teammates are moving around me, but I can’t hear them. I just watch. I watch the excitement on their faces, the nervous energy pulsing all around me. If I leave next year, I’ll have to give all of this up. I never expected to make football into a career, but it’s been a large part of my life since I was big enough to hold a ball. I can remember spending countless hours in my backyard with Holden and Dylan perfecting our spiral. That’s what you do when you come from a small town. You spend most of your childhood messing around and playing ball, all the while hoping for the chance to play with the big boys. That’s where we are now. Not everyone gets a chance to play Division I ball, at an Ivy League University, in front of thousands of fans, and a few very important scouts.
That’s another thing that connects me so closely to Ollie. He had the kind of talent that could really take you places. Even after his career-ending injury, he can still run laps around most of the guys on the field. Any time I bring up leaving football, he jumps all over my shit. I may not be a total fucking champion like Ollie—his words—but I also have a chance to make this into something amazing too. I’m not sure it’s something I’m ready to give up yet.
I see Preston walking toward me, his mouth moving a mile a minute. I laugh even though I can’t hear what he’s saying. At this point I can only imagine. I pull the headphones down to rest on my shoulders and he smiles.
“You ready for this, player?” He punches my shoulder with exaggerated enthusiasm, and I grin.
“Yeah. I have a feeling this is going to be a good one.”
“Shit,” he breathes. “You know it. I heard the guys from Boston are here again.”
I cock an eyebrow. “Again? You mean they were here before?”
He nods emphatically. “That’s right. They must have liked what they saw.” He flexes into a pose, and I laugh again.
I admire his eagerness, but this new information makes my calm demeanor fade. What if they came back to see me play? Tom Brady can’t run that show forever. Dude’s like forty.
“Your girl gonna be here tonight?” he asks. He watches my fac
e as he drags his long dreadlocks back into a ponytail.
I choose my words carefully. “If you’re referring to Mack, she’s not coming.” I pull my headphones off my shoulders and shove them into the bag at my feet. When I stand up again, I shrug. “She doesn’t like football.”
Preston’s eyes go wide. “Doesn’t like football? That’s fucking ridiculous.” He pats my shoulder before taking a step toward the locker room. “You should just give up now, playboy.”
I take one last look out onto the field before following him back. I can’t see all the way through the stands from here, but I have hope that maybe she’s watching.
By halftime, I’m already exhausted. The team from Yale is relentless and we’re only up by a field goal. It will take some serious maneuvering on our part if we’re going to keep this up. The thing about Ivy’s is that they mostly play each other. You would think those teams would comprise a bunch of entitled pricks, breezing their way through a life that was handed to them. That’s very far from the case. The entitlement comes with a certain level of pride that’s hard to contain. There’s nothing fiercer than a group of guys with something to prove and nothing to lose.
Holden sits beside me on the bench in the locker room with a towel around his neck. He’s hunched over with his hands rested on his knees. “Fuck, that running back is a beast. I’ve never seen anyone run that fast.”
Preston scoffs from across the room. “Hey, motherfucker. You see it almost every day in practice.” He points his finger at him with a hardened expression. “Don’t you forget it, son.”
Holden’s eyes flare in annoyance. “Yeah, that’s why you got blocked on the last play and ran out of bounds.”
At this, Preston stands and slams his fists into his chest. “I’m only one person. I can’t run this entire team on my own.”
Groans and towels are thrown across the room in all directions and I shake my head. They do this pretty much every game. As the quarterback, it’s my unspoken duty to wrangle everyone back to reality.
I stand up and bring my forefingers to my mouth, releasing a loud whistle through the crowded room. The commotion stops and all eyes drift to me. I hold my hands out to my sides and motion downward.
“Easy now, guys. We’re not even losing.” I walk over and nudge Preston. He glares at me as he sways sideways. “And we’re a team. That means if one of us falls, we all fall.” I give another pointed look to Preston. “Don’t you forget that.”
He shrugs his shoulders. “Yeah, you right Judah.”
“Yeah, I know I’m right.” I take a step back to face everyone all at once. “Now let’s get back out there for the second half and show these Yale fucks who they’re up against.”
A spatter of cheers goes around the room and I let out a growl.
“Come on now! You can do better than that.”
The cheers erupt in the room and everyone stands. They throw high-fives and bro hugs all around and I smile. This is what I would miss the most.
Deep in the fourth quarter, I scan the sea of people in the crowd once more for Mack. Even if she was here, it would be a long shot that I could see her. The dull roar simmers around us as we huddle together under the lights.
Preston bounces back on forth on his feet in front of me. I tap his helmet, leaning in to speak. “Let’s run the play we like in practice and finish this now. It’s time for some hide and seek.”
His teeth gleam through his mouthguard. “You got it, player.”
The rest of the guys nod in agreement and we take our marks. All I need to do is get Preston down the field. Seems simple enough, but their defense has been almost impenetrable. There’s only two minutes left on the clock and we’re tied, 17:17.
In times like these, it’s frowned upon to go balls out. You risk coming up short, or more daunting, the dreaded turnover. If they were to regain control of the ball this late in game, we’d be almost guaranteed to lose. Their quarterback has been particularly brutal. I have a feeling Sean Winters is a name I’ll be hearing again.
I shake out the tension in my hands while I bend down for the snap. When the ball hits my hands, I step back and look for Preston. He gets doubled covered of course, so I shuffle right, narrowly dodging their advances. Taking a quick inventory of what’s left of my options, I curse under my breath. This only works if Preston gets the touchdown.
After some ducking and weaving my window for making a decision begins to slip away. Just when I think I’ll have to run the ball myself, Preston breaks free, and I launch the ball into the air without hesitation.
A moment of silence fills the sky while the ball soars down the field. The only time I take a breath is when the ball makes it into his hands. He takes off like a shot, barely escaping the onslaught of defenders trying to tackle him to the ground.
He makes it look effortless as he skips through the end zone. Everyone in the stands raise to their feet as he spikes the ball into the ground, sealing the game with the touchdown.
Holden and Adam rush down to meet him. At first, everyone looks somewhat confused. Holden covers his eyes and Preston and Adam run away from him. Preston ducks behind the goal post and seconds later Holden runs after him, pretending he doesn’t know where they went. Believe it or not, about three weeks, and countless practices went into perfecting this touchdown celebration. It’s the most exciting game of hide and seek they’ll ever play.
In the rush of everyone congratulating and congregating on the field, I finally spot my target. Mackenzie leans over the rail in the first tier of bleachers. I don’t know how she got so close and I didn’t notice. She holds her fists up like pom-poms when I see her. The smile on her face, forced or not, almost brings me to my knees. I put two fingers to my lips and then point to her in the stands. Even from this distance, I swear I see her blush.
The fact that she came here at all speaks volumes for the progress we’ve been making. For her to do something she claims to despise, just to make me happy, is one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me. The warm and fuzzies are short lived when I see the quarterback from Yale swaggering up to her.
To be honest, I don’t know how he got off the field so fast. What’s even more alarming is that he seems to know her. I push my way through the players and coaches still blocking my path to the stands.
I get a terrible feeling in the pit of my stomach by the look on her face when she eyes him coming toward her. She’s not happy to see him. That’s when it clicks.
The reason she hates football.
The reason she left one of the best schools in the entire country.
The reason she seems so broken—and he’s walking right toward her.
Dropping my helmet to the ground, I take off into a sprint. He’s about to be the reason I get suspended, because as I scale the railing on the first row of bleachers, I see red.
Chapter 18
Suffer
Mackenzie
Watching Judah play tonight is worth all the anxiety I feel about being here. When I found out they were playing Yale, it was almost a deal breaker. Every time they get possession of the ball and Sean takes the field, my heart almost stops. It’s been almost a year since I’ve seen him in person, but I see his face almost every night. He continues to haunt my dreams long after the nightmare has been over.
That’s not why I’m here. I’m here to support Judah because I know he would do the same for me. Risking a run-in with Sean is worth it.
That’s how I felt about thirty seconds ago.
Sean is closing the distance between us as he weaves his way through the packed stadium. His piercing eyes slice through me and my stomach rolls. I can’t look back to Judah, I don’t want him to see my face right now. So I turn to the guy swaggering toward me. Confidence is exuded in every step he takes in the uniform that was made for him.
Before I have the chance to escape, he’s right in front of me.
Sean leans down and I inhale the familiar scent of his cologne. It’s combined with a mi
xture of sweat and hate that fuels the person he is. He runs his teeth across his bottom lip before he speaks.
“I thought that was you.” He brushes my hair back over my shoulders and rakes me over from my neck down to my toes. When his eyes meet mine again, he smiles. “You ran off before I got a chance to say goodbye.”
I bite down on my tongue, twisting the sleeves of my sweatshirt over my hands. It’s so loud from all the cheering and celebrating nobody seems to notice I’m slowly dying right in front of them. It’s like being stuck in a dream, screaming as loud as you can, and no sound comes out. How did he know I was here?
When I don’t answer he laughs. I close my eyes at the sound. He always takes amusement in my pain.
I feel his hand on my face and I slap it away. Gritting my teeth, I find my voice. “Don’t fucking touch me.”
A coy smile crosses his face. “If you want to play rough, baby, that can be arranged.” He tilts his head down further, the waves in his dark brown hair still sticking together from being under his helmet. He wets his lips. “I know you still think about it.”
I start to shake when he grabs my arm and rubs his thumb across the scar on my wrist. Satisfaction flashes in his eyes as he traces along the jagged edges. He likes that he did this to me.
All the air I’ve been holding inside is suddenly expelled out as my feet leave the ground. Judah has his arms wrapped tightly around me. It takes a moment to realize it’s him that’s holding me. I press my face into his neck and take solace in the comfort it brings.
“You have no idea how fucking happy I am to see you here, babe.” He breathes heavily into my neck. It wasn’t a short jog from center field.
I release a deep sigh, tears pricking the corners of my eyes. “I could say the same about you.”
