by Cole Lepley
He takes a seat on the edge of my bed. “Enough. I called him.”
I shoot him a glare and go back to my notebook. “I know.”
He puts his hand on mine. “I had to. If you keep things up with Judah how you are, it won’t end well.”
I don’t meet his eyes. “I know.”
“Hey, I like sex as much as the next person, but you need to find a way to differentiate it from love. Besides, I think Judah loves you, anyway.”
My eyes widen. “Don’t say that.”
Zander shrugs. “He’s smitten, girl.” He pushes off the bed and gives me a smirk. “Give him a chance. I know he’ll wait for you.”
I smile even though it’s the last emotion I want to have. Judah has no idea how broken I really am. There’s not many guys out there willing to put up with that. Including one that’s still recovering themselves.
Chapter 21
Light’s Up
Judah
I watch in stunned amusement as Preston loads another beer bong. I’m pretty sure it’s his fifth, or maybe I lost count. Pre-gaming with him earlier seemed like a good idea at the time. Now I’m not so sure.
We starting putting a dent in the keg long before anyone got here. Now the three-story frat house is packed and more people keep arriving by the minute. Every time I turn around, I’m greeted by someone handing me a shot or trying to scribble on my shirt. It’s fun so far, but I’m distracted.
I keep thinking about Mack. The way she was so causal this morning after we had sex. As if it didn’t mean anything to her. I’m pretty sure the girl is the one who usually complains about shit like this. Which makes me question why it’s bothering me so much.
Preston holds the amber filled tubing in front of me with a grin. I take in the bright red streaks spattered through his signature dreadlocks. He said it’s for team spirit. I think he just likes to stand out as much as possible.
“Come on, player. Open wide.”
I give a look of protest, but comply and kneel. As soon as my lips touch the tube, he lifts the funnel and all the alcohol pours down my throat as smoothly as the first few did. I wipe my face and hold up my hand to halt him. “Okay, that’s enough for now.”
Preston scoffs as he reaches for another bottle to reload. I walk away toward the kitchen in search of some water. If I’m going to go hard tonight, I need to pace myself. Drunk Judah says stupid things and I don’t think Mack is the kind of girl to put up with that shit.
When I round the corner I’m greeted by several girls wielding scissors. I raise an eyebrow as I grab a water from the fridge. I take a long swig and lean back against the counter.
I motion between them. “Should I even ask?”
The blonde I remember as Ainsley, laughs. “We have to make our outfits cute.” She continues cutting slits across the front of her friends’ shirt and then tying them in knots. They look like horror movie survivors.
“Where are we supposed to write things if you cut off ninety percent of your shirt?”
A coy smile crosses her face. She puts her hands on either side of her plumped up breasts. “Right here.”
I shake my head. So not the point of this, but who am I to argue?
Her brunette friend takes a moment to admire herself in front of the mirror behind the door. Satisfied with what sees, she spins around and saunters over to me. Her hand trails down the front of my crisp, white tee.
“I can’t wait to see what people write on you. I’ll bet there’s a ton of girls just waiting to let out their deepest fantasies about our elusive quarterback.”
I laugh and give her a gentle move back. “Well, babe. I have a girl so I don’t think any fantasies will come true tonight.”
She pouts her lips at me. “Aww, that’s too bad. We could’ve had a lot of fun.” She winks. “Come find me if you change your mind.”
Preston comes up behind me and drapes an arm over my shoulder as she struts away. He hands me a plastic cup. “That’s what I’m talking about, player. You’re settling.”
I take a drink even though I shouldn’t.
“I’m happy. There’s a difference.”
He removes his arm from my shoulder. “For now. But what about the first time you two get into an epic fight and you’re drowning your sorrows all over campus. Or worse, driving home every other weekend, drooling all over Elliot again?”
Tilting my cup back once more, I ignore him.
“Uh-huh, that’s what I thought.” His eyes scan over the crowds of people gathered in the main room of the frat. “And where is your girl? Didn’t she come with you?”
“She’ll be here later.”
Preston laughs. “Sounds like trouble already.”
I clench my jaw and reach for a bottle of bourbon on the counter. I twist off the cap and pour more than your average mixer. With a splash of cola, I’m golden. I take a long chug and the burning down my throat already eases my nerves.
“She’s waiting for her roommate,” I say, taking another long pull. My brain’s already beginning to feel fuzzy as a group of girls approach, grabbing my shirt. They take their time sprawling their message across the bottom. There’s no black light in the kitchen, so it’s kind of hard to see what they’re writing.
“You were amazing last night, Judah,” a girl in a make-shift toga purrs. “Boston will take you for sure.”
Her words kill my buzz ever so slightly. The conversation I had with my coach this morning was intense. Now I have more than one option for next year, and none of them include staying here for Mack.
I give her a smirk as my only response and they trip away on their high heels. Holden is standing off in the corner, leaning against the railing that leads upstairs. Instead of his typical, laid back demeanor, he looks torn. I walk over to him, nearly falling over a couple groping each other against the wall.
“Hey, man. What’s up?”
“Nothing,” he says, running his finger through the foam in his beer.
I punch his shoulder. “Come on, I know you. You’re acting weird.”
His eyes meet mine and I’m surprised at how desolate they appear.
“It’s just, you’ll probably get drafted to Boston, even if you don’t you spend all of your time with Mackenzie. I know I sound like a pussy but I missed you last year and I was hoping it would be different once I got here.”
“Hey, it still is,” I assure him. “We hang out all the time.”
“Yeah, but things are going to change. You’ll leave or fall even deeper with that girl and I’ll be stuck with Preston.”
Our eyes pan over to where Preston is standing on a table, pouring shots down the throats of two girls like baby birds. He’s recording it with his phone, cackling obnoxiously.
It makes me laugh. “I won’t let that happen.” I take another drink. “Besides, I haven’t decided anything yet and things with me and Mack aren’t perfect right now. She’s being weird.”
“Weird how?”
“I don’t know,” I say and then sigh. “She doesn’t seem to want to put a label on what we are and it kinda bothers me.”
Holden sputters a laugh. “Yep,” he says, poising his cup at his lips. “You totally lost the bet.”
I smack him again and he chokes on the drink he was taking. He wipes the foamy beer from his lips with a smirk. “Sorry, man—but it’s true. You’re falling in love with her and she’s clearly trying not to do the same.”
“Yeah, but I don’t understand why. When we’re together everything is perfect. I have a level of comfort with her that’s strange for it being so new. I never thought I’d have that again.”
When I down the rest of my beer, Holden frowns.
“Please don’t let this spiral you.” He plants his hand on my shoulder with a look of concern. “You’re doing so well, on and off the field. Anyone can see that you’re not the douchebag you once were.”
I sputter a laugh. “Um, thanks. I guess.”
“You know what I mean,” he says with an
other grin. “You know how you were when we were in high school.”
That’s the thing—I do know. I treated Elliot far worse than she ever deserved. All for what? So I could be the stereotypical player. The guy every girl wanted to be seen with. The one who didn’t show feelings and didn’t care who he hurt as long as he got what he wanted.
Yeah, that guy was a douchebag, and he deserved to end up alone.
My mind drifts and I stare unfocused into the crowds of people in the living room. I should consider myself lucky. Not everyone gets a second chance to do something right. Maybe I need to relax more and let things happen.
Holden nudges my arm, pulling me back from my thoughts. When I look over at him, he points to the front door. Mackenzie is walking in, followed by an excited looking Zander. She has her white T-shirt twisted and tied similar to the girls from earlier, but I know it wasn’t her doing. Zander enjoys pushing her outside of her comfort zone and I think it’s adorable she likes to make him happy.
I smile and walk over to meet them, the black lights illuminating his grin when I get closer.
“You came.”
“I told you I would,” she says, taking a step toward me.
When her arms circle my waist, I hug her to my chest and place a kiss in her hair. “I’m glad you did.”
She gives me a squeeze and then tilts her head back to meet my eyes. “If you’re here, I want to be here, too.”
Her words are sincere and the cautious look in her eye tells me she wants to say more. Something is still bothering her and I desperately want to know what it is. Nothing in her past could be bad enough to make me want to walk away. I’m sure of it. The way I already feel about her is too strong.
“Good,” I say and then give her a quick peck on the lips. I nod to Zander. “You ready to have some fun tonight?”
“Oh, you know it.”
He winks at me and I laugh before giving a nod down the hallway. “Kegs are in the kitchen.”
Zander smiles and then leans in to squeeze Mackenzie’s arm. “You want a drink?”
She nods, still clinging to my waist. “Yeah, sounds good.”
He disappears back the hallway and I lean down to her. “You sure you’re good?”
“Yeah.”
I still don’t like the look in her eye, but Adam is swaggering over with two of his brother’s trailing behind. He’s wearing a backward neon green hat and has matching glow sticks around his neck. His grin gleams when he stops in front of us.
“Player,” he drawls, bumping my shoulder with his fist. He nods to Mackenzie. “This must be your girl.”
Mackenzie shrinks a little at my side and I hug her closer. I give a confident nod. “Yeah, this is Mackenzie.”
He leans in and shakes her hand, giving me his approval with a wry smile. “Welcome, Mackenzie. We’ve heard so much about you.” He grips my shoulder and gives it a shake. “This guy can’t stop talking about you.”
I shoot him a look, but Mackenzie just laughs. Her eyes drift up to mine with a coy smile of her own. “Is that so?”
I pretend to consider it for a moment and then kiss her once. “Maybe just a little.”
Adam’s grin deepens, and he lets out a chuckle. “Oh shit, player. You better go get that bear.” He nods behind him and I frown. “The guys have it in the kitchen, deflowering it as we speak.”
I cock a brow. “How can you deflower a stuffed bear?”
Adam shrugs. “Beats the fuck out of me, but whatever they’re doing—it’s gotta be pretty fucking close.”
The guys chuckle and I start to panic. I’m wearing that thing next week. No question.
Thankfully, Zander returns and is carrying two plastic cups. He hands one to Mackenzie and I lean into his ear.
“Hey, watch out for her for a minute, will ya? I need to go take care of something.”
“Sure thing.”
I lean down to Mackenzie, cupping her cheeks in my hands. “I’ll be right back, okay?”
She smiles and catches my lips with hers. I kiss her back, but keep it brief when I hear Adam cackling beside us. I kiss her once more. “Be back in a sec.”
Chapter 22
Blackout
Mackenzie
Judah disappears into the crowd and I move closer to Zander. He’s already chatting up a guy in a white hoodie and neon pink glasses. When I see him take out a highlighter, I know the flirting is about to get taken up a notch.
Judah’s friend, Adam, moves next to me and nudges my cup with his.
“I wasn’t trying to embarrass you earlier. It’s been a while since we’ve seen Holloway serious about a girl.” He pauses and his lips purse. “Actually, I take that back. He’s never been serious about a girl since he’s been here.”
I laugh lightly, clutching the cup in my hand a little tighter. It’s hard to describe how I feel about this. I like that Judah has feelings for me, but it’s scary to get involved with someone after such a short time. True colors don’t always come out right away.
“I’ll consider that a compliment,” I say, flashing a smile. “I like him, too.”
“Good,” Adam says with a grin.
He doesn’t say anything else, but I can tell he wants to. He probably doesn’t know that I know about the bet. It’s stupid, really. Who wouldn’t want to be with someone like Judah?
Loud hooting rings out behind us and we both turn to the guy making all the noise. Preston is strutting toward us, grinning from ear to ear.
“There she is,” he croons, pointing to me.
I’m about to introduce myself, but then he pulls me into a tight hug, lifting me off the ground. My cup splashes a little down his back, but he doesn’t seem to notice. I laugh when he sets me back on my feet.
“Nice to see you, too, Preston.”
He nudges Adam with his elbow, a cocky smirk creeping across his lips. “Told ya all the girls know me.”
Adam rolls his eyes and Preston laughs. “You’ll have to excuse him,” he says, motioning to his chest with his thumb. “He thinks he’s already famous.”
Preston puffs his chest. “Shit. I am famous.” He drapes his arm over my shoulder and tilts his head to me, lowering his voice to a mock whisper. “He’s just jealous.”
“I heard that.”
Preston laughs again. “No, but seriously—you make our boy happy. We’re glad you’re here.”
My chest floods with another wave of emotion. It’s a lot of pressure to live up to the expectation everyone has for us. His friends seem to truly care about him. Aside from the typical bro humor and harmless jabs, he has a solid group of support. That makes me smile.
Preston gets distracted by an impromptu dance-off in the main room and pulls away from me. He walks backward a few steps and points to me with a wink.
“I’ll catch you later, girl.”
I give him a slight wave and look around for Zander. He’s still in about the same spot, but he’s much closer to the guy in the white hoodie. I should remind him about Mark even though I know what he’ll say. He’s not willing to settle for someone who’s too afraid to be real. Its solid advice and something I should consider in my relationship—if that’s what it is.
When I walk up beside him, he grins wide. He leans in so I can hear him over the music. “You having fun?”
“Yeah,” I say, flashing a smile back. “I’m going to find the bathroom quick. I’ll be right back.”
Zander tenses and turns to the guy beside him for a second to whisper something. He finishes his cup and nods to the hallway. “I’ll go with you.”
I shake my head. “No, it’s okay. You stay and hang out.”
His brows rise. “Mack, I don’t want you to wander off until Judah comes back.”
This makes me laugh. What am I—a toddler? I give him a small push toward his new friend. “Two minutes. I’ll be right back.”
He shoots me a stern look. “I’m timing you.”
I laugh again and turn for the kitchen. There was a
group of girls stumbling down here earlier, so it seems like a good place to look first. I spot one of them coming out of a door down the hallway, giggling and texting on her phone. When she walks up beside me, I tap her arm.
“Hey, is that the bathroom?”
Her glittery eyes glow in the lights and she smiles wide. “You’re so pretty,” she slurs. She tucks her phone in her back pocket and retrieves a marker from between her cleavage, pulling the cap off with her teeth. She leans in and draws a heart right in the center of my shirt in bright pink. When she finishes, she looks up at me and smiles. “Perfect.”
I laugh. “Um, thank you.”
She gives me a salute. “You’re welcome.”
Without another word, she saunters away. I decide that asking for directions might not be the best course of action. I walk down the hallway to investigate for myself. Right before I reach the door, a firm hand grabs my arm. I freeze. A familiar chuckle resonates into my soul and my heart sinks deep into the pit of my stomach. I turn around and Sean is already shaking his head.
“Don’t scream, baby.” He leans in, his fingers digging into my arm. “You don’t want to cause a scene.”
I try to pull away, but he’s too strong. I grit my teeth. “What are you doing here?”
“I’m here for you,” he says as if it’s something I should have known.
He lets go of my arm and my skin throbs from the release of pressure. I don’t let it show on my face. He enjoys it too much when I do.
“You know I’m here with someone.”
His eyes light up with amusement. “Ah, yes. Judah.” He says his name like it’s a disease. “He didn’t seem to know too much about you. Maybe I should change that.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. It protects you more than it does me.”
He laughs. “Oh, you think I’m scared of that guy?” He stands up straighter and makes a show of looking up and down the hallway. When his eyes meet mine again, he has an arrogant smile. “I don’t see him coming to your rescue.”
I swallow back the acidic taste of fear and refuse to cower from his gaze. “I don’t need him to rescue me. You and I are over. That won’t change.”
