Torn: A College Sports Romance (Cherry Grove Series Book 3)

by Cole Lepley

  “Well, yeah.”

  “Don’t you have family stuff going on?”

  I grip the back of my neck. How do I explain this without making her upset? “Okay, so me and Elliot’s families are very close. We spend the holidays with them.”

  Mackenzie pushes a bite around her plate. “So, you’d be going home to have dinner with Elliot?”

  “And Hunter, Ollie, and our families. It’s not like a date, babe.”

  “I guess I really do need to get used to you and her being friends.”

  I reach over and place my hand on hers. “Friends. That’s it. You’re the one I… care about.”

  She smiles, but Zander is looking at us weird.

  “Judah, I would love for you to come home with me, but my family is tense right now. Perry just got out of prison so he’s always at odds with my dad, my mom still thinks I’m seconds away from offing myself.” She lets out a long sigh. “It’s fucked up.”

  I give her hand a squeeze. “I want to be there for you. I don’t care how messed up you think your family is. All I care about is spending my vacation with the person who I…”

  “That you love!” Zander cries. “Jesus, why can’t you two just say ‘I love you’ already?”

  We both turn to gawk at him.

  “Sorry,” he says, wiping his mouth with his napkin. “Wishful thinking I guess.”

  Mackenzie shifts in her chair, but doesn’t say anything. Since she doesn’t say anything, neither do I. This turns breakfast into an awkward silence.

  I shove another forkful into my mouth and watch her out of the corner of my eye. She catches me and smiles.

  “I want you to come with me.”

  My lips perk up. “Yeah?”

  “Yeah.”

  Zander picks up his plate with a huff. “At least we can finally agree on something. Fuck!”

  His unwarranted hostility is extremely amusing and Mackenzie and I burst into laughter. We laugh so hard tears come to our eyes and it feels good. For once, the person who’s angry isn’t one of us and it feels perfect.

  I click the button to complete my ticket to New Haven with a smile on my face. Even though I’m nervous about what awaits me in Mack’s hometown, I’m even more excited to spend the weekend away from campus with her. Our relationship feels like it’s on track and I could do without the distractions of my asshole friends for once.

  Opening my laptop, I try to focus my attention on studying for finals when my phone rings. The photo attached to it makes me smile again.

  “Hey, Elle.”

  “You busy?”

  I close my computer and lean back in my chair. “Never too busy for you. What’s up?”

  She sighs and my heart sinks. It already feels like trouble. “I just wanted to know if you heard from my brother.”

  I can’t help but laugh. “What do you mean? What happened?”

  There’s a pause. “Nothing, I guess. He’s been weird, secretive even.”

  “With Ollie you have to assume no news is good news, right?”

  “Right,” she says, her tone quiet.

  “Don’t worry. I’m sure he’s just busy.”

  Elliot laughs. “This is Ollie we are talking about. He doesn’t think things through.”

  “He’ll be fine. If it makes you feel better, I’ll call him to check in.”

  She sighs again, but this time it sounds like relief. “Okay, good. He’s always more open with you. He trusts you.”

  I smile to myself. “I can’t imagine why.”

  “Because you’re a good guy. You care about your friends, even when they don’t deserve it.”

  “Yeah, I guess so…”

  My voice trails off and I know she can detect the unease in my tone.

  “What’s wrong? You sound weird.”

  This time, it’s me who sighs. “I don’t know if I can talk to you about this.”

  She scoffs. “Come on, Judah. I think we are past the point of awkward conversations.”

  She does have a point. I practically shared her with Hunter for an entire year. I take a deep breath, sitting up straighter.

  “Okay, so things with me and Mackenzie are good again.”

  “That’s great,” she says, encouragement in her tone.

  “But… I’m having trouble expressing how I feel if you know what I mean.”

  Another pause.

  “Like… sex?”

  I groan. “God, no. Nothing like that. It’s just, every time I want to tell her I love her, I can’t. The words are right there on the tip of my tongue and I can’t say them.”

  She laughs. “Do you love her?”

  “Yes.”

  “See,” she says. “That was easy. Now tell her that.”

  I let out another frustrated grunt. “But I can’t. It’s like I’m scared or something.” I drop my head into the palm of my hand. “I really am a pussy, huh?”

  “No,” she says with another laugh. “You must really mean it. Saying ‘I love you’ is a big step, and it’s scary. When the right time comes, you’ll know, and then it will come out naturally.”

  Even though it’s weird talking to Elliot this way, her words calm my heart.

  “I hope you’re right. I’m going home with her over break.”

  “Ah, see. That’ll be perfect. Set up a romantic evening for her or something and then just lay it on her.”

  “It’s that easy, huh?”

  “It is when you love someone. I love you, Judah. I want you to have all the happiness that you deserve.”

  “I love you too, Elle. Thank you.”

  I swear I can see her smile through the phone. “Anytime.”

  Chapter 40

  Too Late

  Mackenzie

  My fingers drum on the console of our rental car as we drive into my neighborhood. Perry offered to pick us up at the airport, but Judah insisted he drive.

  It’s been almost six months since I’ve went home and I didn’t envision taking someone with me when I did. After everything that happened with Perry, my relationship with my family became further strained when I transferred to Cornell. They don’t know the reason and I hope they never find out.

  Judah reaches his hand over and gives my knee a squeeze. “I’m excited to meet your family, babe.”

  I smile. “They’ll like you. You and my dad will have lots to talk about.”

  “He a football fan, huh?”

  That would be an understatement. One thing I failed to mention was that my father is the football coach at the local high school. He played college ball, but never took it farther than that. Our family owns several car dealerships in our town and two of the surrounding ones. Perry has worked for him off and on since he was fifteen. He’s been fired more than once.

  “Absolutely. He always wished Perry was more into sports instead of the more recreational things that seems to capture his attention.” I sigh and motion with my hand. “You need to take a left here.”

  We turn onto a tree-lined street in the middle of picturesque suburbia. Everyone has a perfect lawn, fresh paint on their houses, and signs showing support for the local teams. Sean’s house is only three streets over.

  Perry is walking down the driveway as we pull up. He’s living in the small apartment above the garage. I think he wants to move out as soon as possible, but hasn’t really formed a plan of how to do that. He grins when I step out of the car.

  “It’s about time you two showed up,” he says, bringing me in for a quick hug.

  I smile. “You miss me already?”

  He gives me an extra squeeze before pulling away. “I always miss you, Mack. It’s good to have you home.”

  His warm tone catches me off guard. He’s been in a mood since lately and I’m not sure why. It’s nice to see him calm for once. He grabs my bags from the back seat and nods to the garage.

  “Judah can stay with me.” He gives Judah a stern look. “It’ll save you from the temptation of messing around in my parent’s ho
use.”

  Judah holds his hands up with an anxious smile. “I promise to be respectful.”

  Perry slings my bag over his shoulder and grips Judah’s shoulder, meeting his eyes. “Oh, I know that. That’s why I’m not giving you the option.”

  “Will you stop acting like the over-protective brother for a moment and brief me on the current situation?”

  Perry glances to the house and then back to me. “Mom is still at work, but dad has been up my ass all day waiting for you to get here. I think he’s starting to get it.”

  We exchange an unspoken look. My father’s friendship with Sean’s dad complicated things. They grew up together in this town and are close. When we started dating, I think he was happier than I was. Not only did he get a chance to spend extra time with one of his oldest friends, but I was involved with the star of his team. Seeing Sean for the monster he is was something my father could never accept. He assumed I was exaggerating our fights and being dramatic.

  “Why don’t you take Judah inside to get settled and I’ll talk to dad first.”

  Perry nods and motions for Judah to follow him to the steps beside the garage. I take a breath and step onto the side porch. The light is on and I can see various pies lined up on the counter through the glass door. There was a time when I would spend hours with my mom baking and getting things ready for holiday dinners. Now I barely answer when she calls.

  I push the door open and remove my boots. My dad walks into the kitchen and gives a slight smile.

  “There you are. I was getting worried you missed your flight.”

  I smile back. “No, Judah wanted to get a rental car, and they were busy. It took longer than we expected.”

  “Judah, huh?” He looks over my shoulder. “Where is this boy?”

  “With Perry getting settled in the apartment.”

  He steps closer and plants his hands on my shoulders. “You look good, Mack.” He pauses, studying me closer. “Are you good?”

  I nod. “Yeah, I’m good.”

  He seems to accept my answer, pulling me in for a hug. “I’d feel better if you came home more.”

  I wrap my arms around him and the heaviness in my chest subsides. “I’m working on it.”

  When he pulls back, his lips turn up. “Your mother is excited to have you home for break. She got caught up at work, but should be home soon.”

  My mom is a registered nurse at the local hospital. It’s not that she needs to work, but I know she enjoys helping people. I think she wishes she was able to help me before things got too bad. Having your daughter show up in the emergency room you work at, after attempting to take her own life, is something you can’t prepare yourself for. Especially when you didn’t see it coming.

  We make small talk about the dealership until Perry and Judah come in behind me. When I turn my head back to them, Judah smiles at me. It melts my heart and I fight the urge to kiss him. Instead, I pull him forward.

  “Dad, this is Judah Holloway.” I pause and then add, “My boyfriend.”

  My dad extends his hand to him. “I’m Carl. We’re very happy to have you here with us. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

  Judah smiles wider. “Thank you, sir. I’m glad to be here.”

  My dad laughs. “Please, call me Carl.” He sizes him up for a moment. “You hunt?”

  “I do actually. My dad’s a little disappointed I won’t be home for buck this year.”

  “We’ll have to make up for that then,” he says, with a smile. He points to Perry leaning on the wall behind us. “This one isn’t allowed to carry a firearm.”

  Perry lets out a bitter laugh, pushing off the wall. “Hilarious, dad.” He steps around us and stalks over to the refrigerator.

  My dad shakes his head. “No sense of humor.”

  I look to him and then back to Perry and he’s shot-gunning a beer behind us. “Be nice,” I chide, pulling Judah toward the stairs. “I’m going to give him a tour.”

  When we get out of the room, Judah laughs.

  “They’re intense with each other. You weren’t lying.”

  My laugh comes without humor. “Yeah, they are.”

  My mom ended up working a double shift, leaving that introduction for tomorrow. After the long day we had, Judah and I go to bed early. Only I can’t sleep. I’m staring at my bedroom ceiling wishing he was here with me instead of shacking up with Perry. I can only imagine the conversations they must be having.

  I almost talked myself into going over there to find out when my phone beeps showing a text came in. My heart drops when I check the display. Even though I don’t recognize the number, I know who it is.

  Unknown: Your light was on. You bring my phone home with you?

  My hands shake when I try to type back a response. I can’t let him know that he’s getting to me. He enjoys it too much.

  Me: Wouldn’t you like to know?

  I know it’s stupid to provoke him like this, but I can’t stop myself. The fact that he’s been sweating it out gives me a certain satisfaction. This time it isn’t me worried about what he has stored in that phone. That gratification fades when my phone rings. I answer on the second ring, but he speaks first.

  “Do you honestly think I’m going to let this go?” Sean laughs darkly before he continues. “Unless you want to keep talking to me. That’s what you’re really doing, isn’t it?”

  “Why would I want to talk to you?”

  “Why do you answer when I call?”

  I release a frustrated sigh. “Because I know you won’t stop calling until I do.”

  “No, that’s not it. Admit it, baby. You miss me.”

  Laughing, I walk over to pull back the curtain on my window. It’s too dark to see beyond my yard. “You’re delusional.”

  “I’m right and you know it. That’s why you’re trying to replace me with someone exactly like me.”

  Now I’m angry. My teeth clench so hard I can barely get the words out. “Judah is nothing like you. I can’t think of a single person who could be as terrible as you are.”

  It goes silent for a couple seconds. “Give me back what belongs to me and we can end this.”

  That’s where he’s wrong. What happened between us will never end. Even if I deleted every video on his phone, it will never change that it happened. It will never erase the scars I carry with me daily because of his torment.

  “Maybe I should give them to the police.”

  He laughs again. “If that were true, you would have already done it.”

  “How do you know I didn’t?”

  “I’m still here, aren’t I?” He pauses, laughing again. “Besides, you and I both know you don’t want that to happen.”

  I close my eyes shut tight. “What do you want from me?”

  My heart beats faster the longer he takes to respond.

  “You’ll always belong to me.”

  The call ends and I sink down on the edge of my bed. Running away from Sean won’t solve anything. The only way to put an end to this is to face him one last time. The only thing I need to figure out is how to keep Perry and Judah out of it when I do.

  Chapter 41

  Take A Bow

  Judah

  Perry snores so fucking loud. The small apartment only has one bedroom, and it’s right next to the living room where I’m trying to sleep on the pull-out couch. Even if he wasn’t, I’m not sure I could sleep, anyway. I keep thinking about Mack being next door and how much I wish I was lying next to her.

  The words I’ve been trying to say have been on the tip of my tongue since we landed. That’s a lie.

  I’ve been trying to tell Mackenzie how I feel for much longer than that. I know in my heart I love her. For the life of me, I can’t pinpoint why I can’t say it. It was a huge step to bring me home with her. That proves she might love me back.

  I roll onto my side and check the display on my phone again. It’s already two in the morning so I’m sure she’s been asleep for a while now. I want to text h
er so bad I have to shove my phone under my pillow to stop myself. Letting out a frustrated sigh, I flop onto my back and stare at the ceiling.

  It takes me a minute to realize the incessant snoring has stopped. The overhead light flicks on and I’m blinded. I shield my eyes with my forearm.

  “Perry, what the fuck?” I grumble.

  After opening my eyes, I see him pacing around in front of me. He slides a cigarette between his lips and lights it with a smirk.

  “I can’t fucking sleep,” he says, taking a long drag.

  Pushing the covers aside, I sit up and rub my eyes with the palms of my hands. “Didn’t sound like you were having problems to me.”

  He laughs. “Yeah, well, it comes and goes.”

  “Something bothering you?” I ask.

  He scoffs, flicking his ash in the sink. “You could say that.”

  I’m realizing that getting information out of him is difficult. I sigh. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  He stops pacing for a moment as if to consider my request. After shaking his head, he paces again. “I have a lot on my mind.”

  A smile perks up on my lips. “Is it a girl?”

  Perry narrows his eyes at me. “You think I let girls keep up at night?”

  I hold my hand up in defense. “Okay, dude. I was just asking.”

  He stops again, taking a seat in the chair across from me. His eyes meet mine with an intensity that is borderline unnerving. “You won’t do yourself any good to worry about people who don’t give a shit about you.” He nods to me. “Do yourself a favor and remember that.”

  I smile. “So, it is about a girl?”

  He chuckles. “Oh, so you’re a funny guy now?”

  “I’ve just been in this situation more than once. I know what it looks like.”

  Perry leans back in his chair, running his hand over his shaved head. “It’s complicated.”

  “Keep going,” I pry.

  “Are we buds now? You think this is a fucking slumber party?”

  “Well, I thought we were friends,” I blurt, and then add, “That is, if you want to be.”