Scars Of The Soul

by J J Cobban

  “Well fuck me,” Seth sighed “We got you loud and clear, boss lady.”

  “Fucking hell, I like you a lot more than Monica,” Jo snorted “This chick has balls!”

  I felt myself smile at the compliment. Coming from Joanna Yancy, that was high praise indeed.

  “I think we’re good,” My entire body thrummed as Drake’s voice filled the now silent room. “You can guarantee that even dipshit over there will get his mouth in line.” He nodded his head toward Travis who shot him the finger.

  “Fuck you, dude.” Travis smirked “I don’t shit where I eat. Scout may be a looker but ain’t no way I’m working that close to home.”

  “Let’s not also forget whose daughter she is,” My father cleared his throat “Travis, Seth, the two of you once asked me if I had any relatives in the mob. It would be a damn shame if you were to find out who Scout’s Godfather was.”

  “Gotcha, Boss.” Travis saluted him.

  “Hearing ya loud and clear.” Seth nodded, looking as cocky as ever.

  “Alright, you leave bright and early tomorrow,” Dad stood, pulling his phone from his pocket “Anything else?”

  I looked down the table to where Jace remained silent.

  “Maybe we should bring up visitations?” I cleared my throat “For those in the band who want to see family members outside of the band.”

  Every pair of eyes landed on me.

  “So maybe we need to pick a few days or whatever where band members are clear to fly home or fly family out? Hell, even hit the town if they want to.”

  “Sounds good,” Mikey scratched his chin “Might be nice to see my cousins for a day or two.”

  My father nodded his head.

  “Great idea. Can you organise some dates?”

  “Of course, I’ll do it tonight,” I looked around the table “I’ll need all your cell numbers anyway but if you give them to me now I can text you with the dates tonight. Once I’ve got your numbers I think that’s everything, everyone should get home and get some rest before we leave tomorrow. I want everyone at the tour buses first thing, I’ll give you an exact time later.”

  The sentence had barely left my mouth when Jace was snatching up paper from the table and scribbling his digits down. My heart went out to him. He sauntered across the room to hand me the slip of paper.

  “Thank you.” He smiled, handing me the paper. One by one, rockers either handed me a slip of paper with their numbers on or shouted out their digits for me to programme into my phone myself. As they handed me their numbers they left the room, calling out goodbyes as they left.

  “You good here?” my father asked, looking at the door.

  “Yeah, course.” I smiled. He kissed me lightly on the head and made his exit. I had no doubt in my mind that he had a hundred and one things to do.

  “Just me now, huh?” I nearly swallowed my tongue as the deep voice penetrated my senses. I looked up to see Drake smirking down at me.

  “What?” I whispered.

  Drake’s smirk transformed into a breath-taking grin right before my eyes. I shook my head slightly and tried to get my professional head back on. I was not the girl who was going to fangirl all over the sexy drummer.

  “Yes, it’s just your number I need,” I grimaced when I heard how breathy my voice sounded “You ready to give it to me?”

  Did that sound as filthy out loud as it did in my head?

  Drake’s pupils dilated as he slowly fed me the numbers I needed. My hands shook as I punched them into my phone. By the time he had finished the cell number I was a quaking mess.

  “I’ll text you later with the dates for you to fly out family or-”

  “My family doesn’t extend past the bands on tour so there’s no need,” His eyes drifted to my lips and back up again “Thanks for doing this though. I know it’ll mean the world to Jace and his girl, Riss.

  “No problem.” I breathed, clearing my throat in an attempt to keep myself under control.

  Drake chewed the inside of his lip and bobbed his head before turning towards the door. Just as he reached the doorframe he stopped.

  “I know I don’t need those visitation dates for the tour,” he remarked coolly “but if you want to text later anyway, I’ll probably be up pretty late.”

  My mouth dropped open as my thighs clenched together in need.

  Without another word Drake walked out.

  Jesus, he didn’t waste any time making his thoughts known. I ran my hands over my hair.

  I dropped down onto the chair behind me and slouched back. What the hell was I getting myself into? There was no way I could go on a tour with that man and not jump his bones? I’d been ready to let him ravish me on the damn table within minutes of speaking to him. There was no way I could survive living on a tour bus with him.

  He would be sleeping, probably half naked, a pitiful number of feet away from me.

  I was struggling to remind myself exactly why texting him tonight would be a bad idea. Never mind trying to control myself when he was half naked less than six feet away from me. I leant forward, looking down at the newly saved number on my phone. I read the name over and over again.

  Drake Jackson. Drake Jackson. Drake Jackson.

  It was like a mantra in my head as I dropped my head onto my arms. I had to be honest with myself. I wouldn’t be denying him for very long.

  I was completely and utterly screwed.

  Ｃｈａｐｔｅｒ Ｔｗｏ

  Ｓｃｏｕｔ

  I stared at the steam rising from my hot chocolate and bit my lip in anticipation.

  I’d sent out a mass text to the entire band with the details of which days were acceptable for travelling home or having relatives visiting on the tour. I checked the time on my phone and sat further back in my plush, leather recliner. It had only been four minutes but I was already getting antsy. I wanted to believe it was because I was nervous about having the band numbers wrong but in truth it was simply because I hadn’t heard anything from Drake.

  I’d had one, tiny conversation with the man and I was already bordering on stalker like behaviour.

  Get a grip, Scout, since when do you chase men?

  My phone suddenly vibrated in my hand. I took a deep breath and tapped on the message icon flashing on my screen.

  Hey, Jace here. Thanks, Scout. Really appreciate this. Will get back to you with the dates we choose.

  It was simple and straight to the point. Much like the sender of the message. I sighed and grabbed the TV remote from the table, flicking aimlessly through the channels. I found an old cowboy series I liked and dropped the remote back onto the small coffee table beside my chair.

  Suddenly my phone began to vibrate manically from where I’d dropped it onto my lap. I glanced down to see a series of texts waiting to be read. I smirked as I opened the first. This one was from Mikey and he’d simply sent a selfie of himself with Asher. They were holding their thumbs up with a small caption beneath the picture reading “Gotcha, Boss Lady.”

  I clicked off of their message and opened up another.

  Looks good, Missy T! I plan on using those days for extra-curricular activities!

  I rolled my eyes when I noticed that Seth had added a winking emoticon at the end of his message. Of course he would. What else did I expect from the flirt? I replied with a thumbs up and scrolled to the last message.

  Fantastic. Thanks, Scout! Trav, Lace and Nico wanted me to let you know they got your messages too. They’re ‘busy’ making more reckless bets on the Xbox. See you tomorrow!

  I smiled at Jo’s text and sent her a quick reply back. That meant it was only Drake that hadn’t texted me back. Should I resend him the text? Had he gotten it and simply just not replied? Why was I so fucking bothered about his reasons for not replying? I shouldn’t have been interested in him at all. He was part of my job. All I had to do was make sure he didn’t do anything stupid with the rest of his band and everything would be happy. The fact I had already fantasised about h
im in the shower was dangerous. I needed to get my head on straight. If I let anything develop between us and it turned sour I wasn’t just making my job difficult, I was letting my father down. With that thought in mind I pushed any concern about Drake out of my head.

  Then my phone vibrated.

  I clicked on the message, hoping it was Jo again.

  Couldn’t think of anything else to start a conversation with? Personally I like to open with ‘hi’ or something. Just saying. D x

  Sweet motherfucker. He’d signed the text with a kiss. My heart raced as I hovered over the small keypad, thinking of something to put back. It had to be nice but not flirty. No possible innuendos were a good idea too.

  I didn’t think you cared about my conversational skills so much. My bad. I just wanted to make sure you got the dates available.

  My thumb hovered over the X button and I chewed my lip. Fighting every urge inside of me, I moved away from the one tiny little letter that could give him the wrong idea and hit send.

  He was back with another message less than two minutes later.

  That was me thinking you just couldn’t get enough of me. Damn, woman, you know how to shoot a man down. D x

  He was smooth but I had to stop this. Nip it in the bud before I found myself leading him in a direction that would never end well.

  Better to shoot you down now than give you false hope. We work together and flirting with each other just isn’t a good idea. Sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. X

  “SHIT!” I cursed as I reread the sent message. I jumped to my feet, heart pounding as I stared at the damn kiss at the end of my message. Why would I do that? Why would my subconscious be such a bitch to me? Fucking hell this was not good. I’d just told him nothing was ever going to happen and then tacked a kiss on the end of the message!

  I stood holding my phone in a death grip, any second the fucking thing was going to shatter from the force it was being held.

  After an excruciating five minutes the damn thing vibrated.

  Sure thing, darlin. We can just pretend that neither one of us wants me to bend you over my drum stool and fuck you senseless. Should be easy. D x

  My eyes bugged.

  “He wants to fuck me senseless.” I muttered, my tongue feeling too big for my mouth “over his drum stool.”

  My thighs clenched and heat pooled deep in my stomach. Visions of Drake taking me behind his drum kit was not something I could handle. Mentally or emotionally. The images of his tattooed hands digging into my hips as he hammered into me was turning my body into liquid fire. I dropped back to the recliner, clenching my thighs as my panties grew damper by the second. That big asshole knew exactly what he’d been doing when he sent that message. I’d lost all ability to think about how wrong all of this was.

  Jesus Christ, Drake. I’m heading to bed now, you better get it out of your system before tomorrow because mark my words, it’s not happening.

  I double checked my message this time, certain I hadn’t added any additional letters that would contradict my message.

  I moved into the bedroom, stripping out of my clothes and slipping on an old, raggedy shirt. My hair was scraped into a messy bun as I made my way to the bathroom to brush my teeth. The whole time I brushed my teeth my eyes seemed to be glued to the spot on the bed where my phone had been dropped. I saw the screen light up and forced myself to finish before I ran through to grab it.

  My feet barely touched the floor as I flew back through to the bedroom and snatched up my phone. I snuggled down into bed, switching the lights off before I opened the message.

  By the time I’m finished with you Jesus won’t be the name you’re screaming. It’s not a matter of IF it will happen but WHEN. You sleep tight, darlin. D x

  My cheeks hurt with the grin that had taken up pride of place on my face. A girly giggle burst from my lips as I covered up my face with the comforter draped over my bed. I knew right then that I was in deep. Drake had been issued with a challenge when I’d told him it would never happen and apparently he didn’t back down from challenges. I glanced to the clock on my bedside unit and saw that it was nearly midnight. I should have really been going to sleep. We had a big day tomorrow and I clearly needed my wits about me where Drake was concerned. I looked back to my phone and unlocked it quickly. I loaded up a fresh internet page and typed two words into the search engine.

  Drake. Jackson.

  His face popped up along with a variety of websites featuring him. Without a second thought I began reading. One article turned into two and before long I had nearly finished the first page of results. My eyes burned with exhaustion as I finally locked my phone and set it to charge beside my bed. I didn’t bother looking at the clock. I knew it was late. Instead I closed my eyes and tried to think of anything that would be boring enough to send me to sleep. Of course that didn’t happen though. I found myself mulling over the articles I’d read about Drake’s supposed rough upbringing that no-one knew anything about. Had they been true? He’d made it clear that, outside of the bands, he had no family so maybe the articles were true. My heart ached as I thought of the man who had been texting me being abused or neglected as a child. Had he been scared and timid or had he been like he was now, fierce and brave? If I pictured it hard enough I could see Drake standing before me with the defiant tilt to his chin and a dark glint to his eyes. Those eyes that were able to pierce my defences so easily. Those eyes were going to be my undoing; I just knew it.

  ******

  The sound of You Me At Six’s song ‘Brand New’ broke through my subconscious, waking me a hell of a lot earlier than I’d intended to get up. I reached out blindly for my phone and growled when my fingers brushed the phone, knocking it off the bedside table. I peeled my head from the pillow and hung over the bed, snagging the phone up and putting it straight to my ear.

  “Yeah.” I grumbled down the phone.

  “Scout. There’s a problem.” It took me a minute to place the male voice “Did you hear me?”

  Seth. It was Seth calling me.

  “What problem?” I asked, still hanging over the edge of my bed “This better not be a prank, Seth, it’s too early for this shit.”

  Seth coughed, clearing his throat nervously “It’s Jace, he wants to take Riss and the baby with him. Says he can get another bus for them but that shit can’t happen in the next hour, which is when we’re supposed to be heading for the bus.”

  I bolted upright in bed. Jace was refusing to go without his wife and kid? He had fucking visitation days! For the love of all things holy!

  “Tell him to get on the damn bus and I can arrange for Rissa and the baby to join him later in the tour.” The line was muffled as Seth relayed the message and I knew from the raised voices that I wasn’t going to like the answer.

  “Yeah, he’s not budging. Look, I’ve known Jace my entire life and I’ve never seen him like this. He doesn’t want to not go but he hates the thought of Riss travelling alone with the baby to meet him later in the tour.” My mind whirled with the new information. I should have known there would be some sort of Rockstar tantrum before we hit the road. I dragged a hand down my face, trying to think of how best to fix this.

  “Okay. Put me on speaker.” I ordered.

  There was a soft clicking noise, “You’re on loudspeaker with everyone from both bands.”

  “This is what is going to happen,” I started “Everyone is going to haul ass over to the tour bus. Rissa better be packed because she’s going to head over with you. I’m going to make some calls and see if I can get a handle on this shit. If I grease the right palms I should be able to get another bus. Any confusion with that?”

  “No, ma’am.” Jace answered.

  “Perfect but for future reference, you better have your little tantrum at least a day before we head off on tour.” I hung up the phone and glanced at the clock. Perfect. I had just under an hour to organise another bus and get it to where everyone was meeting. I pulled my phone out and starte
d finding numbers to try, the first being our usual suppliers. While I made the all-important calls, I started to dash around the bedroom grabbing my last-minute essentials. I looked like a madwoman as I held the phone between my shoulder and ear while I threw a variety of objects into a small handbag.

  My first call was a bust. They had nothing. I scrolled to the next number and started the process all over again. As I relayed the reasoning for my call to the woman on the other end of the phone I was pulling on a red sweater dress. After nearly dropping the phone twice I switched it to loud speaker. Only to be told that they couldn’t help me either. I thanked her, hung up the phone and cursed. I only had one more number to phone and then I was going to have to get real fucking creative. I punched in the number and hit connect. Learning from my past mistake I switched it to loud speaker straight away. A man answered and it was like déjà vu as I fired through the details they needed. This time I was put on hold and I took the opportunity to pull on my favourite black boots that stopped just over the knee. As I was zipping up my second boot the man came back with the news that I was in luck. A short notice drop off would be a bit pricey but it could be done.

  Relief flooded me as I agreed to the price. I took his details and forwarded the information to my father’s office before calling him.

  “You’re up early.” he greeted brightly. My father had always been a morning person, something I had most definitely not inherited from him.

  “Ha! Don’t get me started. I just sent you some details, I need a check for the amount in the text. I need another tour bus. I can explain later but I need the check over to the dealership like two minutes ago.” My father was already calling out commands before I had finished my sentence.

  His voice was muffled but I could still hear him speaking to employees, “If you get this to the dealership in under ten minutes there’s a bonus in it for you.”

  Then he was back to me, “Anything else you need?”