Scars Of The Soul

by J J Cobban

  “You better say something or I’m gonna smack that stupid fucking grin off your face, dude,” I warned as I pulled a plain black tee.

  “How long you been tapping the boss lady then? This something serious or you just scratching an itch?” He dropped down to the armchair across the room, resting his interlinked hands on his stomach.

  His question scraped across my nerves like he’d just dragged his nails down a blackboard.

  “Oh,” his eyed widened dramatically “Fuck off! I’ve seen that fucking look twice before!”

  I frowned at him as I searched the bag for my wallet and phone. Thankful to see that it at least had half a charge on it.

  “We’re gonna be late, walk and talk.” I grunted, nodding to the door. Seth jumped up, still grinning and shaking his head.

  “I mean, it’s not that I’m completely surprised. The pair of you have been eye-fucking each other since we walked into Ritchie’s board room. I’m just surprised that you’ve caught them so quickly.”

  I felt my eyebrows lift as he continued to psychoanalyse me.

  Seth was a sort of dark horse of the group. He liked to come across as light-hearted and easy going but there was something hidden beneath the surface. It wasn’t my place to ask about his past, but I had a feeling it was messy. The way he could read people so quickly was almost unnerving and gave off the impression he was used to changing his behaviour to suit the situation. That didn’t scream of a healthy upbringing.

  “What do you mean, caught them? What the hell are you talking about?” I forced a laugh as we reached the elevator, pressing the button for the ground floor.

  “Feels, dude, you’ve gone and caught feels.” He looked at me like I was the crazy one.

  “You’re speaking like a damned teenage girl,” I rolled my eyes as we entered the lift “Seriously, who the hell talks like that?”

  Seth snorted and opened his mouth to speak, stopping as the music in the elevator changed. His eyes widened once more as the radio DJ introduced the next song. I groaned and felt my own lips stretch into a smile while Seth punched me on the shoulder, roaring with laughter. The elevator filled with the opening beat of Calvin Harris’ song ‘Feels’.

  “It’s a sign, man,” Seth finally breathed, clutching his sides “That was fucking perfect.”

  The elevator doors opened.

  “The guys are meeting us out front in the cars.” Seth shook his head as we bee-lined for the entrance of the hotel. Nobody seemed to be paying us any attention, but it only took one devoted fan. Normally I’d love nothing more than sauntering through a throng of fans, enveloping myself in their loyalty and excitement. Recently though, all I wanted to do was get from A to B with little to no human interaction. The media had been relentless and was slowly beginning to suck the fun out of what had once been my favourite part of the job.

  Seth and I reached the front door quickly.

  “I’m happy for you, man.” Seth suddenly blurted out. My head snapped towards him, looking for his trademark smile. Hell, even that little fucking glint in his eye that told you he was fucking with you.

  “I’m not getting emotional, relax.” He smirked “Just saying she seems like good people.”

  “Thanks, man.” I cleared my throat as we jumped into the back of the waiting car. Jace was behind the wheel with Nico in the passenger seat. I sat myself back in the seat while Seth busted Jace’s balls about his driving. In truth, there was nothing wrong with the bassist’s driving, but Seth didn’t care. He loved getting a rise from people.

  While the two threw insults back and forth I retreated into my head.

  Seth had called me on it.

  I was catching ‘feels’ as he called it. To start with I’d just felt a need to be near Scout. Just being beside her seemed to settle my usually on edge nerves. It was like she could walk into a room and instantly make it brighter.

  Fucking hell, what was wrong with me? I scrubbed a hand down my face. There was no way I could be getting attached to her after one night. We’d fucked once and now I was suddenly obsessed with the girl. I didn’t have anything near the reputation that Seth, Travis or even Lacey had but I got around. I’d had my fair share of bed partners but I certainly never mooned after them when we parted ways. What the hell made Scout so special?

  The city flashed past my window as I tried to get my thoughts straight in my head.

  “Hey, you good?” I turned to see Seth watching me with a hint of a smile on his face. My eyes darted to Nico and Jace but they were in a heated debate over something.

  “Yeah, man, fine,” I lied as Seth continued to smirk at me.

  “Bullshit but okay, I’m certainly not interested in a fucking heart to heart.” I rolled my eyes at him.

  “Don’t go getting lost in there though, Drake,” Seth continued, tapping his temple seriously “Sometimes the darkest places live up there. So don’t spend too much time in there.”

  Seth turned away, pulling his phone out and smiling at the screen. I watched as his fingers flew across the screen before hitting send. A second later his phone vibrated again, making him chuckle slightly.

  “That tonight’s company?” I smirked. Seth looked up as something unnameable flashed across his face.

  “Nah, man, she’s not like that.” His smile turned wistful as he looked at the screen once more “She’s another one of the good ones.”

  I nodded at that, accepting and understanding his need to keep whoever he was texting to himself. I sure as hell hadn’t offered up any information about Scout when I’d first started pursuing her. Hell, if I had my way now we’d both be locked in the hotel room together.

  “Alright, ladies, we’re here,” Jace suddenly called as he pulled into the parking lot of some fancy ass building.

  “Hey, that’s not what your old lady was calling me.” Seth snorted. Jace shook his head as he made a quick job of parking. He climbed out of the car before resting his arm above the door and leaning back down to speak to Seth.

  “Part of me wants to fucking kill you for that remark,” he smiled wickedly, “but I promised Scout we’d all behave like fucking adults for a change. So I’ll let it go for now, but I will let Rissa know that you called her an old lady.”

  Seth’s smile dropped as I patted his shoulder.

  “I’d ask for that ass kicking from Jace, man,” I laughed “Nico’s older brother has been teaching the girls some self-defence and kickboxing.”

  “You’re lying.” Seth muttered as the rest of us climbed out of the car.

  “Nope.” Nico swatted Seth on the back of the head before pointed to Jace, who was now texting somebody. Presumably Rissa.

  “Joe said that Rissa seems to have found her calling in kickboxing. Nearly nailed Max and Leo in the last training session.” Seth paled as Nico continued to tell him how many times Rissa had nearly gotten the better of the other Tanner men.

  “Jace, don’t tell her man, don’t be a pussy.” Seth changed his approach as we neared the front of the building. Jace turned, walking backwards as he wiggled his phone at Seth, a big fucking grin on his own face now.

  “Too late, motherfucker,” Jace laughed “Come to think of it though, once Rissa tells Jo about what you said, I’d reckon that the future Mrs Tanner will want to give you an ass kicking too. Whatcha think Nico? Think your wife can give Seth a beating?”

  Nico chuckled deeply as he looked at Seth, shrugging.

  “Oh, I’ll take that bet. In fact, I bet she makes him beg before she marks up his pretty face.” Seth shook his head as Nico ruffled his messy blonde hair like an older sibling might do to a younger one.

  “You guys fucking suck.” Seth hissed as he swatted Nico away as we entered the building. I laughed at the three of them. Enjoying the fact that for once it was Seth being teased by someone and not the other way around. Seth was so used to dishing out the teasing and smart mouth remarks that when it turned on him tenfold he tended to get snarky. Needless to say, it was entertaining to watch.<
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  Jace and Nico baiting Seth also gave me a chance to try and get my head in the game for this interview. It was obvious that despite being told what I was and wasn’t willing to answer that the interviewer would try and push the boundaries. Most of them usually did. I had to get my game face on if I was going to keep my composure. I had to prepare myself for the inevitability that whoever interviewed us would ask about my past.

  My head soon began to thrum with the various ways I could politely tell our interviewer that it was none of their business.

  “You ready, Drake?” Nico asked as we waited to be met at the front desk.

  “Sure.” I nodded, not sure what else there was to say. Just as I saw a long-legged woman strutting towards us with a clipboard in hand my phone vibrated.

  Hey! I just wanted to remind you again, you have NOTHING to be ashamed of. If anything, you’re a perfect example of how hard work and determination can change someone’s life. You’re gonna rock this interview. I’ll see you later. S xx

  I stared at my phone screen, my heart hammering against my chest at Scout’s sweet text. She had a hundred and ten different things to do today and she’d still made time to text me. I shook my head and smiled, rereading her message. Sometimes it was easy to forget that there was a sensitive, vulnerable side to Scout when she was in business mode.

  After the third read of her message my decision had been made.

  “The other members are already waiting upstairs,” the long-legged woman explained with a smile “Are you gentlemen ready?”

  “Yes.” My voice was clear and concise “Let’s go.”

  Nico, Jace and Seth all shared a slightly puzzled look at my sudden eagerness to start the interview. They had no idea how quickly my mind set had changed.

  The tabloids wanted a story to run about my past? Well, I was going to give them a story they could really sink their teeth into.

  Ｃｈａｐｔｅｒ Ｆｏｕｒｔｅｅｎ

  Ｓｃｏｕｔ

  I’d regretted the text as soon as I’d sent it. It was far too patronising and way too touchy feely. There was no way a guy as strong and proud as Drake would appreciate something that sentimental. I looked back down to my phone indecisively. Maybe I should message him again? Something funny, maybe a little silly so he knows I’m not suddenly an emotional liability. It had been nearly three and half hours since the bands met up for their interviews. Each band was slotted in for an hour each. More than enough time to ask some questions without them being there too long that the questions got too personal. Drake hadn’t answered my original text and I was beginning to panic.

  Maybe I’d gone too far.

  I crossed my legs as I sat on the bed in my underwear and oversized button-down shirt. Rissa, Lacey and Jez had been working on something for Jo’s bachelorette party for the past couple days and we were all meeting in Jo’s room later to put the plan into action. From what little I’d been told, we were having a girl’s night in. Jo and Nico had already discussed their parties and decided that nights in, might be easier since the two of them weren’t keen on the other hitting up strip clubs. Rissa, Jez and I had already been up to Jo’s room while she was at the interview and decorated it with a ridiculous number of balloons and banners. Kasia had been given the job of organising the food and drink even though the idea of a night in seemed to greatly disappoint her. As I sat there wondering what the hell I was supposed to wear my phone vibrated loudly from where it lay on the bed. I froze in my thoughts as I looked down at the screen.

  Drake’s name popped up with a text icon beside it.

  My heart stuttered behind my ribs as I picked the phone up and opened the message.

  All done, darlin’. Nico’s bachelor night tonight while we have the time free. Can I see you for a little while before then? Need to talk. D x

  Need to talk? What the hell did he need to talk about? Was it the interview? Oh god, had he done something stupid? Was it the sappy message I’d sent him before they went in?

  Course you can. Is everything okay?

  I hit send and threw my legs off the bed, reaching for a pair of yoga pants. A loud rap at my door had me pausing. I glanced back at my phone. Was Drake back already? A thrill shot through me as I moved to glance through the peephole. My lips turned up as I opened the door just enough to poke my head through. Drake was standing with his hands in his front pockets, a boyish grin tilting his lips.

  “Password?” I grinned. Drake’s head fell back as he chuckled.

  “Really?” he questioned, raising a dark brow.

  “Fine, strip and I’ll let you in.” I continued to throw his own words back at him, enjoying how his eyes sparked with challenge.

  “Darlin’, we both know I’ll do it,” he warned “but your ass better be naked when I get my hands on you or I’ll have to rip off whatever you have on.”

  My thighs clenched together in anticipation as my eyes trailed down his body, already picturing what lay beneath his clothes. Drake moved closer to the door, leaning down until his voice was a gravelly whisper.

  “And if you make me wait to bury my face in your sweet pussy then I’ll have to punish you.” His smirk turned dark and devilish as the last of my resolve shattered. I threw the door open as I lunged at him. Drake took another step forward, grabbing my ass while my legs wrapped around his waist. Our lips collided in blind desperation as he kicked the door closed. One of my arms snaked around his neck while my other hand sank into his hair. Drake’s teeth sank into my bottom lip drawing a guttural moan from me.

  “Fuck,” I breathed, arching my back as his mouth travelled down the column of my throat.

  A sudden, loud chirping sound broke through my horny trance. Drake groaned in annoyance.

  “I’m gonna make it a fucking rule that when I want you naked your fucking phone is on silent.” He placed another kiss to my neck as my now overly sensitive body slid down his until my feet touched the carpet. My hands rested on his chest as I tried to gather my bearings.

  “I don’t think I’ll ever get used to that.” I admitted on a laugh as I stepped back to grab my phone. Drake snagged my wrist, pulling me back flush against him.

  “Good.” He grinned, moving his lips against mine softly. My head began to swim again as my body instantly lit up. I pulled back as my phone began screaming for attention again. I shook my head and laughed at Drake as I backed away towards the bed. Drake followed me, dropping to sit on the edge of the bed as I opened the messages on my phone. One was from my father updating me on everything happening at his end. It was nothing to worry about. I fired off a quick reply thanking him before opening the next message. I rolled my eyes as I read Seth’s message.

  “Seth would like me to tell you that once you’re, and this is a direct quote, finished getting your dick wet the boys are meeting in Mikey’s room. Is there a reason he messaged me and not you?”

  Drake narrowed his eyes as he checked his phone.

  “The motherfucker hasn’t even attempted to text me, he’s looking for a reaction more than likely.” He shrugged “Tell him that access has been denied up until now but I’ll keep him posted.”

  “Gross!” I gasped, trying to keep a straight face and ignoring Seth’s text “I can’t say that.”

  Drake laughed as he lay back on the bed, mischief dancing in his gorgeous eyes. I shook my head at him, realising that he’d been joking about messaging Seth.

  I moved closer to Drake, climbing onto the bed beside him before moving to straddle his hips. Drake’s hands automatically found my thighs, rubbing them gently. Something was changing in his demeanour, it was slow and slight, but it was there. The mischief had died down and there was an uncertainty shadowing his light eyes.

  “You okay? What did you want to talk about?” I asked lightly, hoping it was nothing too serious. His hands stilled on my thighs and his eyes closed.

  “That good, huh?” I laughed nervously. “Was it the interview?”

  Drake opened his eyes and sighed, si
tting up. His hands lopped around me, tracing circles on the small of my back. The need to touch him, to let him know that whatever had happened could be fixed was too much. My hands rested at the back of his neck, my thumbs stroking his skin tenderly.

  “I told them everything.” He blurted out, practically tripping over his own tongue in his rush. My mind went black.

  Everything? Everything about what?

  “Hon, I’m drawing a blank.” I confessed “You told them everything about what?”

  “I told them about my mother. I told them about my father. I gave them every detail they asked for. They’ll be airing the story as soon as they can get it written up. I told Jo, Lacey and Trav what I was doing but nobody else knows.”

  He’d told them about his past? Words were failing me as I tried to think of something to say. I was beyond shocked. Drake had worked his ass off to make sure nobody knew about where he’d come from or the people who’d given him life. What in the hell had made him change?

  “Oh, shit.” I breathed as realisation hit me like a jack hammer.

  My text.

  “Drake, I never meant to push you-” I started.

  “Don’t.” he interrupted “Your message from earlier made me realise something.”

  I kept my mouth shut, hoping he would go on and explain his reasoning.

  “I lived through my abuse. I spent most of my childhood feeling like it was my fault my parents treated me like they did. I hid their dirty secret like it was me doing something wrong. I spent years feeling isolated and ashamed. If I’d spoken out to one person, somebody I trusted, I could have changed all that. If I’d had somebody to speak to, somebody I trusted, I could have gotten away from that shit sooner.” His hands rested on my hips as his eyes became glossy “It’s stupid but maybe having my story out there can help some other poor kid that feels trapped. Maybe it’ll help them get out before something happens that really fucks with their head.”