Evolution, Me & Other Freaks of Nature

by Robin Brande

  The Back Turners stayed forward.

  That got Ms. Shepherd's attention. “Ah, I see. An evolution in tactics. Variation and adaptation. Good. Maybe I won't have to give you all zeros today.”

  Teresa raised her hand.

  “Yes, Ms. Roberts?” Ms. Shepherd asked nicely. “You have a question about SCIENCE?”

  “Even if evolution is true, that still doesn't explain how it all started. Someone or something had to create the first … thingamajigger.”

  “Atom?” Ms. Shepherd suggested. “Proton? Organism?”

  “Yeah,” Teresa said, bored with the details, “whatever. That still doesn't say who created the universe in the first place.”

  “Excellent point,” Ms. Shepherd said, which surprised Teresa. “And let us first reiterate the class policy of upholding the separation of church and state. That said, does anyone want to venture a scientific explanation for the origin of the universe?” She scanned the room.

  Of course Casey's hand shot up.

  “Mr. Connor. Four thousand words or less, please.”

  And so Casey started rattling off this long explanation that I can't even begin to remember, but it involved atoms and subparticles and quarks and collisions and waves and whatnot. And I just sat there watching his mouth move, listening to the sounds coming out of it, growing more and more depressed because I suddenly realized with blinding clarity that there is no way on earth Casey Connor will ever consider me for a girlfriend when I am so obviously, desperately beneath him. I mean, come on! Anyone can see that. What was I thinking?

  When Casey finished his recitation, Ms. Shepherd thanked him and told him he was two hundred eighty words over, but she understood it was a difficult thing to condense.

  Teresa raised her hand again. “He didn't say WHO created it. That was the question.”

  “As you may remember me explaining once before,” Ms. Shepherd said, “science is the how of things. It's the raw mechanics. The who and why of all things, we leave to other disciplines.”

  “But what do YOU think?” Teresa challenged, and I could see from the smug look on her face that this was the whole point of the confrontation. She must have been told by Pastor Wells to try to tie Ms. Shepherd down— force her to say she doesn't believe in God.

  Ms. Shepherd is no idiot. “The taxpayers of this community do not pay me to discuss my personal views. I share personal views on my own time. In here, I teach facts. And one fact you may have noticed on the syllabus,” she said to the class at large, “is that today is the last day of our unit on evolution. Put away your books, pull out paper and pencil. Time to see what you've learned.”

  Groans all around. I noticed Teresa wasn't happy at all. Ha. She knew she was looking at a big fat F.

  I was just bending down to put my book in my backpack when Casey nudged me with his knee. I wasn't expecting him to touch me. I practically hit my head on the desk.

  “What'd you think?” he whispered. “About my explanation?”

  “Oh yeah—it was great,” I whispered back, smiling weakly. He is so clearly out of my league.

  It's hopeless.

  Here I've been worrying about what I should do to back off from Casey and not get in too deep, when obviously I haven't got the slimmest chance with him anyway. He must view me as some kind of lab partner charity case. It's not like Josh getting paired with Kayla. Of course he wanted to be her boyfriend afterward—they both have freakish mega-brains.

  But as painful as it is, I guess the upside of finally understanding the truth is that I don't have to torture myself anymore. I still like Casey—there's nothing I can do about that right now—but at least I don't have to worry about hurting his feelings one day when he asks me to be his girlfriend. What a joke.

  I am such an idiot. But it's better to realize that now than before I do something truly ridiculous like ever letting Casey know how I feel.

  We took the quiz and I think I did all right. It's weird to think that was it—all this evolution stuff has come to a close. I mean, it's still out there—those men from the church might get elected to the school board, and then who knows what might happen. I read in the Post that none of the other science teachers are planning to teach evolution until later in the semester. I guess maybe they're waiting to see what happens. I suppose there will be Back Turners in those classes, too, and the whole protest will continue for however long people want to keep it up. But for our class, looks like it's over.

  All these endings—the puppies, evolution, Casey.

  As I gathered up my stuff at the end of class, all I could think about was how I was going to have to break it to Casey at lunch that I can't help him finish our project. Either I'll get partial credit for what I've already done, or I'll have to go think up some new project that I can do without ever stepping foot in Casey's house again.

  But then as if all that wasn't bad enough, I'm heading for the door when Ms. Shepherd says, “Ms. Reece, can I have a word?”

  Thirty-eight

  “I understand from the earful I got this morning,” Ms. Shepherd said, “that I am to reassign you to a new science entor. I didn't realize we had science mentors at New dvantage.”

  “I—”

  “Or that Ms. Connor had volunteered. How generous— I'll have to thank her. In the meantime, my instructions are to pair you with someone—how did Mrs. Martinez put it?—mature, noncontroversial, et cetera. So, I'm open to suggestions, since you seem to know more about this mentoring program than I do.”

  The thing is, she didn't seem mad. She wasn't smiling, but she also wasn't glaring at me with those death-ray eyes like she'd given Pastor Wells. Not that what I'd done was even a tenth as bad as him coming in and trying to take over her class. But still, Ms. Shepherd probably had the right to be angry.

  I proceeded cautiously. “Um, here's the thing. …” I explained that there'd been some trouble at home because of some of the people from my church. “The Back Turners— you know, the people from in here …”

  “I read the Post, Ms. Reece. Consider me informed.”

  And then I rattled it off as fast as I could—Casey's and my project (I didn't tell her what—I wasn't going to spoil it for Casey); the fact that my parents wouldn't want me going over to a boy's house, even if it were perfectly innocent and in pursuit of science (to which Ms. Shepherd said, “Good thinking. Scientists are notorious playboys”— not sure if she was joking); Kayla coming up with the KC thing—

  Ms. Shepherd held up her hand to stop me. “Let's cut to the chase.” Kids from her next class were already streaming in. “One, lying is for the weak-minded. If you can't think of a truthful way to solve your problems, you're not thinking hard enough. Two, it's a good semester when I have very little interaction with the administration. In the last two weeks I've enjoyed far too much of it. Can you assure me this will be the last time Mrs. Martinez hears from your parents?”

  “Oh yes.” Although I really had no way of knowing if that was true.

  “Do you feel you need a mentor for this class?”

  “No, ma'am.”

  “Are you satisfied with your lab partner assignment?”

  “Very,” I blurted out before realizing how eager and dorky that must sound. I was secretly glad Ms. Shepherd didn't ask Casey the same question. Who knows if he'd take the opportunity to get reassigned to somebody even close to his brain capacity?

  “I don't usually do this,” Ms. Shepherd said, “because I prefer people to serve me of their own volition, but I am hereby sentencing you to bring me one Starbucks confection—I particularly like the pumpkin scones, but you can choose what you like—on your first day of your senior year. Fair enough?”

  I couldn't tell if she was kidding or not, but I thanked her anyway and got the heck out of there.

  I wonder if Josh is serving out some sentence, bringing Ms. Shepherd coffee every day. I'll have to ask Kayla.

  If I ever talk to her again, that is. Right now I'd say the prospects are slim.


  Casey's probably wondering where I am. This bathroom is the nicest one I've found—it only has two stalls, but there's actually a chair near the door where I can sit and write. I'll probably be spending a lot of time in here in the coming months, since once I bail out on this science project, Casey will probably be spending his lunch hours with someone else.

  Someone smarter and prettier than I am, not that that will be so hard to find.

  I have to go give him my Bible Grrrl thing to give to Kayla. And then I guess it's goodbye.

  Thirty-nine

  NEWSJUNKEE1: Hey, BG, checked out the website yet? You're going to LOVE IT!!! You're a GENIUS, plain and simple-love what you wrote. Hope you don't mind-spiced it up a bit-nothing radical, just a little extra flava. Hey, what's with lil bro telling me you can't come play with us anymore? Anything I can do?

  MENA@REECEINSURANCE: No, thanks. Hopeless. Long story. I'll check out the website right now.

  NEWSJUNKEE NEWS FLASH!!

  JESUS TAUGHT DARWINISM!

  STARTLED FANATICS ADMIT THEY

  WERE WRONG!

  Okay, maybe that last part is wishful thinking, but boys and girls, ladies and gents, check out Bible Grrrl's latest! If our own little BG doesn't set our Bible-misquoting, antiscientific brethren into a tizzy, don't know what will.

  Is it possible that God, of all deities, actually supports evolution? Could it be (gasp!) that the finest scientific minds-minds created, some would argue, by the very God of whom we speak and who hasn't made a bad product yet, to hear it told—are actually right, and the earth didn't just spring up 10,000 years ago, complete with mankind and dinos (give me a break) living side by side in harmony until death did them part?

  In other words, friends, is it possible our own Bible Grrrl has accomplished what Einstein never did, and that's create a Universal Theory—this time a Universal Theory of Religion and Science—so we can all live happily ever after together in the same public schools and worship under the same Supreme Court?

  Understandable if you need to take a breath and think that over.

  But don't breathe too long, because the discussion's already started!

  Log on now and give us your views and don't be shy. This is the big one!

  I clicked on the Bible Grrrl box. I could see right away what Kayla had changed—the title and some of the text—but at least she didn't touch the parable, which is all I really care about.

  BIBLE GRRRL SEZ: SCIENCE AND

  RELIGION UNITE!

  JESUS AND DARWIN AGREE!

  What do Origin of Species and the New Testament have in common? More than you'd ever think.

  In the Gospel of Matthew, 25:14-29, Jesus told the following parable:

  A man met with his servants before going away on a journey. To the first one he gave five talents (an ancient measure of money); to the second, two talents; and to the third, one talent.

  When he returned, he called his servants to account. The first one said, “Master, you entrusted me with five talents. See, I have gained five more.”

  “Well done, my good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things, I will entrust you with much more.”

  The second servant said, “Master, you gave me two talents. See, I have made two more.”

  “Well done, my good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things, I will entrust you with much more.”

  But then it was the third servant's turn. “Master, I know you are a hard man, and I was afraid of what you might do. So I took the one talent you gave me and buried it in the ground for safekeeping. See, here I give it back.”

  “You wicked, lazy servant!” the master cried. “Take the talent from that servant and give it to the one who has ten talents. FOR EVERYONE WHO HAS WILL BE GIVEN MORE, AND HE WILL HAVE AN ABUNDANCE. WHOEVER DOES NOT HAVE, EVEN WHAT HE HAS WILL BE TAKEN FROM HIM.”

  Okay, Bible lesson's over, now let's review our science.

  A fundamental of evolution is the concept of survival of the fittest. Science tells us that organisms with an advantage (WHOEVER HAS) will prosper and reproduce (WILL BE GIVEN MORE), while organisms at a disadvantage (WHOEVER DOES NOT HAVE) will die out (EVEN WHAT HE HAS WILL BE TAKEN FROM HIM).

  Take a breath. You heard right. Read it again.

  JESUS AND DARWIN AGREE.

  And Jesus obviously thought it was an important lesson, since he taught it to the crowds again in a different parable (Gospel of Luke, 19:12-26) and then lectured his disciples about it sepa rately when they were alone (Matthew 13:12; Mark 4:25).

  Still think God doesn't believe in evolution?

  Think it over, people. Join the discussion here.

  Forty

  A huge smile lit up Casey's face. “You won't believe the response.”

  Secretly, I wanted to hear that.

  Because something electric and alive came over me last night as I sat there reading what Kayla had written and what I had written and what Kayla had done with it, and I realized something:

  I'm not that alone.

  I may feel that way as I walk the halls of a high school where people either ignore me or scowl at me, but the truth is, this world is a lot larger than New Advantage High, and there are people out there who are willing to listen to me and talk to me, and just because I'm under what might be permanent house arrest, I can still interact and be a part of something.

  It will just be electronic. But I guess that's okay.

  Casey had all sorts of updates for me: number of new visitors to Kayla's website, number of other blogs linking to hers, all the e-mails and comments on the blog.

  “She wants to meet us for lunch.”

  So Kayla, Josh, Casey, and I sat together again on the bleachers, and I bummed some dried apricots and pretzels and peanut butter crackers off Kayla (no way I'd ever ask Josh—that guy looks like he needs to eat on the hour, every hour). And Kayla filled me in on the latest stats, compiled off the library computer right before lunch.

  “Staggering,” Kayla pronounced it.

  I tried not to act too proud.

  “Josh tagged you so you'd get picked up by some Christian sites, too. Even they seem pretty impressed—except for the nut jobs who say you're going to hell.”

  Okay, not so proud.

  “Ninety percent love you,” Kayla said. Josh nudged her. “Sixty-five. Still a huge fan base. And guess what? They're screaming for a live chat. Let's set it up tonight.”

  But that was a step too far. Because even though I might be able to get away with a quick check of Kayla's site, there's no way I can sit down in our living room, in full view of my parents, and spend an hour or whatever in fast-paced discussion with hundreds (Kayla says thousands, but I can't believe that) of strangers, talking about something my parents would have coronaries over if they knew.

  So no.

  Kayla grinned mischievously. “I saved the best for last.”

  She pulled a folded-up sheet of paper from the side leg pocket of her cargo pants. “Don't show little brother,” she said, right in front of him. “He'll die of jealousy.”

  I unfolded the paper.

  It was a printout from Ms. Shepherd's website.

  I quickly skimmed through her report on some physics research about light particles and something called “spooky action,” until I got to the last paragraph.

  For those of you who like your science with a dab of religion on the side, check out Bible Grrrl for the latest in biblical thought. And she gave a link to me.

  “The latest in biblical thought?” I repeated. “Are you kidding me?”

  Kayla beamed. “Do you understand what this means? You made it onto her website—a major achievement. Just ask little brother.”

  “Congratulations,” Casey said. I searched his face for signs that he was upset. Either he's good at hiding it or he was genuinely happy for me.

  “Not that it's like getting your freshman project listed in the gallery of geniuses,” Kayla said, “but I guarantee you'
re the only student here Ms. Shepherd is quoting this week.”

  “Has she ever linked to your website before?” I asked.

  “Yeah, but it's still cool every time she does.”

  Josh said, “Bell.” It was time to go.

  “I'll … see you,” I told the three of them. I couldn't believe I wouldn't be going to their house this afternoon. I had no idea how sad that would feel.

  “I don't care what we have to do,” Kayla said, “but we're sneaking you over to our house for a farewell dinner on Friday. You gotta help us say goodbye to the puppies.”

  My heart felt like it might break. “I can't. Really. I am so on restriction.”

  Kayla winked. “We'll think of something. Won't we, mini-genius?”

  Casey gave me a funny look, then he nodded.

  Okay, so whatever that means.

  Meanwhile, I'll continue serving out my sentence here at home, where there are virtually no after-school snacks, no puppies, no Casey, no friendship, nothing but me and my books.

  Think I'll finish reading Red Horizon. At least I can hang out with Mr. Connor.

  Forty-one

  It's Wednesday, and you know what that means. Finally.

  Can I just say that second period was the nicest hour I've spent in days? To just lie there on my back in the darkened yoga room, a gray wool blanket draped over my legs, light incense burning, Missy's mystical music playing softly in the background, and visions of Casey Connor in my head. Not Casey alone—Casey and me. What it would feel like to kiss him. Or even to hold his hand.

  When the lights came up, I was so groggy I almost forgot where I was. But then I had to pull it together in time to see the real Casey and act like I hadn't just been fantasizing about him for the last hour.