The Dawn of Christmas: A Romance from the Heart of Amish Country

by Cindy Woodsmall

  She opened her eyes. “I think Bay is hungry and would like to go to bed for the night.”

  Levi shook his head. “Tobias could’ve come up with that at two years old. Clear your mind.”

  “I did.”

  “And?”

  She eased away from him and grabbed a brush. “I thought we agreed that we weren’t seeing each other today?” Running the brush down Bay’s side, Sadie willed herself not to look up. But she did anyway.

  Levi stared at her, seemingly wanting an answer to his question. “We received an invitation a few days ago from Beth and Jonah.”

  “Ya?” She placed the bristles on Bay’s side. “Then you had the invitation when you suggested we not see each other. Didn’t you?”

  He shrugged. Did he miss her like she missed him?

  He looked at the palm of his hand, the one that had been over hers moments ago. “They had an indoor picnic at their home earlier today. With the exception of you, everyone is in the same church district, so they didn’t have a service today. Gideon and Mattie, Lizzy and Omar, Annie and Aden.”

  “Who are Annie and Aden?”

  “You met them once when we were making a delivery to Hertzlers’. He’s Old Order Amish, and she was Old Order Mennonite, but she’s in the process of joining our faith.”

  “I don’t remember meeting them. Old Order Mennonites can have electricity. Why would she take a step into a harder life?”

  “Because they fell in love, and she wants to be a part of his family, his church, and his business.”

  His words made her mouth and throat go dry. “Oh.”

  Levi drew a deep breath. “Omar, our bishop, has a lot of love for people, and as a bishop he can make it easy and appealing for people to return if they’ve left Apple Ridge or to join their loved ones here to build a life, like Jonah did with Beth.”

  She heard his words, but after he said “fell in love,” she couldn’t pay much attention. Running the brush down Bay’s side again and again, she held her tongue, afraid her voice would betray her.

  “We’ve missed most of it.” Levi fidgeted with Bay’s mane. “But if we go, the gathering will only include five couples. They had an indoor picnic earlier, but tonight they’ll roast marshmallows inside, drink apple cider, and play board games.”

  She moved to the far side of Bay, staying focused on the short red hairs flying as she brushed the horse. What kind of people pretended to be a couple to those they cared about?

  Or were she and Levi only pretending to each other?

  “I guess.” Emotions caught in her throat again, and she turned her back to him and walked to the weathered barn wall where she laid the brush on a chest-high beam. When she turned, Levi was directly in front of her.

  There it was again—that feeling of him wanting something. Hadn’t she sensed this same thing in him for weeks now? She could ask him about it, but as she looked into his eyes, she knew the answer.

  And he wasn’t the only one who’d like to stop their pretend courtship long enough to share a very real kiss.

  Go around him, Sadie. But she stood there, feet planted, staring up at him like a schoolgirl. “What have we done, Levi?”

  “I wish I knew.” He sounded as confused as she felt, but he brought one hand to her face and caressed it. “Still, I think any courtship that’s lasted three months should include one kiss.”

  Her heart turned a flip, wanting the same thing he did. From what he’d told her, it’d be his first kiss.

  He looked at her face where his fingers barely touched her skin. “Seems like when I’m gray, this old bachelor should at least know what it’s like to put his lips against yours.”

  His words were a mix of keeping up their pretense and letting it slip that he didn’t want to experience just any kiss. He wanted to kiss her.

  Is this who they were, only able to share their hearts when pretending they weren’t?

  “Seems like.” She let her response continue their stupid charade, too afraid to let him know that somewhere along the way over the past three months, she’d crossed over from their faux nonsense into truly caring.

  He lowered his mouth to hers. Stiffness greeted her lips, sort of like being kissed by a warm rock.

  “Relax, Levi.” She tugged on the collar of his coat. “Release your expectations and preconceived ideas. Let nothing get between us.”

  He moved his lips over hers again, and in one shared breath, her guard—and his—melted. His arms tightened around her, and as she let herself be lost in his embrace, she pushed away the question clamoring at her heart and mind …

  How would she ever again convince herself that what they had was only make-believe?

  Beth leaned over her desk and jotted down more notes for the morning meeting. In the distance a rooster crowed over and over, grating on her nerves. It’d begun its nonsense thirty minutes before sunrise, and it’d been daylight for about that long too. Wishing it’d stop, she opened a drawer and pulled out a file.

  Her abdomen contracted again. Braxton Hicks contractions. That’s what the midwife had called them. It was a sort of false labor the body used as it geared up for the real thing.

  She glanced at the clock on her office wall, waiting for her muscles to relax. The night had been a long one because the tightness awakened her at least once an hour. Were the contractions getting harder?

  Someone tapped on her office door, and before she had enough air to respond, Jonah opened it. “Everyone’s here, and we’ve cleared enough space for a circle of twenty chairs. You ready?”

  “Soon.”

  “Would you like a cinnamon roll?”

  “No, denki.” Another contraction made her heart rate go wild. It was just December 10. How many more weeks needed to pass before she’d be full term? Maybe she’d calculated wrong.

  Holding that hope, she forced a smile and began gathering her papers. “I’ll be right there.”

  He winked and closed the door, and she swiped the papers and folders off her desk calendar. Today was December 10. The doctor set her due date as January 21.

  Maybe he was wrong. But what if he wasn’t?

  She pulled air into her lungs, wishing she could get a full breath.

  “Beth?” Jonah called.

  She grabbed a red pen and circled the date on her calendar, counting the days until she’d be full term. The midwife said there was a difference between premature and preterm—a vitally important difference. What had she explained? The pen squeaked as Beth marked each day. She’d be full term December 31. That was … nineteen, twenty, twenty-one days from now.

  Could their child survive if born this early? She wiped perspiration from her forehead. Look at what you’re doing to yourself, Beth. They’re Braxton Hicks, and you’ve got yourself all keyed up over it.

  “Beth.” Jonah opened the door. His eyes moved to the papers in the floor, the pen in her hand, and the red marks on the calendar.

  She smiled. “Sorry. I’m getting clumsier with each passing day.”

  “Not a problem.” He picked up the mess, sorting out her meeting notes from the invoices.

  She peered out the door.

  With the exception of her and Jonah and Mattie and her husband, Gideon, everyone else attending was an employee.

  Gideon stood next to Mattie, one hand on her back as they talked with Lillian. Gideon’s eyes reflected such joy, and he looked vibrant and strong. He’d been given another clean bill of health a few weeks back. There was no trace of the rare cancer that had tried to destroy him. Mattie’s return to Apple Ridge had allowed Gideon and her to face the truth that they loved each other enough to face an uncertain future together.

  Beth thought about Levi. He wasn’t here, but he’d been out of his neck brace for a few weeks now, another tale of woe turned into triumph. She could remember trials and triumphs in the life of almost everyone she knew.

  Still, her heart beat faster and faster. Surely she and Jonah would have a triumph too. In fact, a beautiful
little triumph to cherish for the rest of their days. But one common thread ran through each victory: no one had ignored their symptoms while hoping for the best.

  She laid the pen on her desk. “Jonah, honey.”

  He looked up from the mess of papers on the floor, and the confidence in his eyes turned to concern. “Something wrong?”

  She shrugged. “I’m not sure.”

  He moved toward her. “Do you need to be seen?”

  “Probably not.” She hated to cause the worry she saw in Jonah’s eyes. “But maybe we—” Suddenly Beth felt a jolt, as if the baby was sideways. Another contraction tightened across her stomach, stealing her breath. She clutched Jonah’s hand.

  He grabbed the phone. “I’m calling the midwife.”

  A gust of frigid air thrashed against Levi as he left the barn, leading the last horse toward Daniel’s trailer.

  Daniel had pen in hand and a forearm planted firmly on the papers piled on the hood of the truck. “She’s number twenty-six fourteen, right?”

  Tip sat inside the cab, talking on his cell phone.

  “Technically,”—Levi patted the mare’s strong cheek—“her name is Angel.”

  Like nearly everything in his life these days, she was a source of memories that connected Levi to Sadie. Tobias and Sadie had sat on a fence while Levi worked with Angel, and they’d each ridden her, helping him make sure the horse listened to women and children almost as easily as she listened to him.

  He directed Angel up the ramp and into the trailer and closed the gate. One more task accomplished, and that meant he was one step closer to his date tonight with Sadie—an evening he hoped would change both of their futures.

  After their kiss six days ago, he could no longer ignore the truth: he loved her. He couldn’t let her leave without telling her how he felt. Sure, her plans were in place, but he could wait for her to return. Why not wait? It wasn’t as if he was giving up anything—except time with her. He could wait.

  That night, after the kiss, they’d gone to Beth and Jonah’s. The evening of parlor games and fellowship had been a lot of fun, but he’d spent most of the time trying to figure out what to say to Sadie. On the way home, he’d told her to think about what she really wanted from their relationship and he’d do the same, and they’d talk about it next week.

  Levi moved to the front of the truck. Daniel held up some papers and motioned to Tip, who was still on the phone behind the wheel.

  Tip ended his phone conversation and got out. “I think we’ve got three of the four horses placed already. There’s a man a hundred and fifty miles north of here who wants to see them. If he agrees they’re all I told him they are, we’ll get top dollar.”

  “Good.” Daniel passed him the papers. “You know what to do.”

  Tip headed for the house. Andy handled the business end of Daniel’s arrangements with the Fisher brothers.

  Levi was headed inside to get warm and have some breakfast, but Daniel wanted to talk. He leaned against the truck cab and pulled a pack of gum from his coat pocket. “You’re raking in a lot of dough off these horses lately, aren’t you?”

  Levi chuckled. “We aren’t doing bad, me and you.”

  “Not bad? I’d say that’s how we’ve been doing the past few years. But since being thrown from Amigo, you seem to have figured out the key to taming horses.” He held out the pack to Levi.

  Levi took a stick and put it in his pocket for later. He wasn’t much for chewing gum, but Sadie liked it. He hoped that, after her week of thinking about their upcoming conversation, she’d accept how he felt. He’d certainly count that as a step in the right direction, but it’d be the night of his life if she actually had feelings for him too.

  Daniel played with the foil wrapper, straightening it and flipping it. “It’ll take me and Tip most of the day to make our deliveries, but we’ll be back to pick you up if you want to go to the auction tonight.”

  “I have other plans.”

  “What?” Daniel’s brows arched. “This seems to be a regular occurrence of late. Are you seriously seeing somebody?”

  “I hope so … I mean, we haven’t talked about how we feel or where we’re going.”

  Daniel poked his shoulder, grinning. “I’ll tell you how to feel—like your tail’s on fire and you should run for the hills.”

  “I got plenty of that going on.” Levi needed no encouragement when it came to wanting to run from relationships. But Sadie was different. “We met in July, so I think I’m getting to know her pretty well.”

  “Are you tellin’ me this is the same girl you dumped me for in August?”

  “I showed up at the auction.”

  “Ya, hours late and completely spent.”

  “Ya, it’s the same girl.”

  “Really?” Daniel angled his head, apparently confused by Levi’s change of heart. “You need a ride into Stone Creek again?”

  Levi chuckled. “You’re behind the times. She’s living in Apple Ridge with her grandmother.”

  “You haven’t talked about her much.”

  What could Levi say? He was pretending to court a girl and got caught in a very real snare?

  Daniel crossed his arms, his breath a white vapor as he chewed his gum. “I guess it was bound to happen. You thinking about turning in your bachelor’s license?”

  “Thinking about it—if there is such a thing.”

  Daniel rolled his eyes. “You’re playing a dangerous game, man. You’ll be in love one minute and daydreaming of her demise the next. All the while she’ll be stacking the deck against you, and you won’t even know it.”

  “Sadie’s not like that.”

  “I believe you. You’ve got a knack for seeing into horses. I’m sure that works on females too.” Daniel chuckled. “Although you can clearly be wrong about horses, or you wouldn’t have been riding one that overreacts to fireworks on the Fourth of July.”

  Daniel’s aim was humor, but Levi didn’t find anything humorous about what he’d said.

  “It’s sort of an odd coincidence.” Daniel pulled his coat collar up high, shielding his neck from the wind. “That girl I was engaged to, she was a Sadie too.” He sighed, shaking his head. “Messed up my life.” He waggled a couple of fingers near the side of his forehead. “Did a real tap dance inside my brain.” He stood upright.

  Levi began to walk toward the house, ready to get out of the cold. Daniel followed him.

  “Ya, I’m well aware that a woman can do that. I saw it happen to Andy, and I imagine Sadie could do it to me.”

  Daniel tossed the wrapper on the ground. “You say she’s living near here?”

  “Ya, her folks are from Brim, but she’s living with her grandmother.”

  Daniel stopped, his eyes wide. “Tell me her grandmother isn’t Verna Lee and her name isn’t Sadie Yoder.”

  “How’d you—” Levi’s worst fears swarmed like locusts and devoured every hope he’d imagined. His Sadie was the same girl who’d broken up with Daniel the day before their wedding? The thought of her courting Daniel, of her growing close to him the way she had with Levi sickened him. Worse, she’d run out on Daniel—just as Eva had done to Andy.

  “It’s your life, Levi. Maybe she’s changed.” He pulled the gum from his mouth and threw it into the bushes. “But years ago she was sweeter than candy and eventually showed me a side that was battier than bats. My concern is that, given time, she’ll find some excuse and leave you like she did me.” He went to the front door and paused. “Has she said anything about me?”

  “Not a word.”

  He seemed relieved. “If you talk to her about this, she’ll tell you I was to blame. But it was the day before our wedding, and I just happened to be in a room alone with one of her cousins. Sadie walked in. Maybe she actually thinks she saw something. I don’t know. But I believe she was looking to bolt, and making up lies about what she saw was her way out.”

  Levi could easily imagine Sadie getting cold feet and wanting to run.
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br />   Even so, he loved her. Every goofy, funny, charming thing about her. How was it possible that he’d fallen for the same woman as Daniel? He hadn’t been clear on who Daniel’s fiancée was, but if he had, there were five Sadie Yoders that he knew of in the district. Since Daniel was a bit of a nomad, he’d lived in numerous Amish communities, and Levi imagined Daniel knew at least twenty Sadie Yoders.

  Realization almost pounded him to the ground. He’d fallen for the same kind of woman as his brother had: a woman who hooked a man and then changed her mind about loving him.

  God, why? He’d thought God was leading him out of the wilderness.

  His thoughts came in disjointed fragments. All his senses seemed to heighten as his dream world shattered, causing him to see his reality for what it was.

  Around him, the empty limbs of trees shook in the wind, and a few brown leaves tumbled across the dead grass—both evidence of the arrival of another long season of barrenness.

  The horses he’d spent months training would be sold later today, becoming no more to him than a way to make money.

  The woman he loved was incapable of building a life with anyone, banishing him to a life of isolation.

  And Levi had to face yet another truth: he was a fool.

  But he wouldn’t stay that way.

  He turned, seeing Daniel still standing at the back door, waiting in the cold for Levi to get a grip on himself.

  Levi drew a heavy breath. The first of many, he imagined. “I’ve changed my mind. I will go with you tonight after all.”

  The horse’s hoofs kept rhythm against the pavement, the familiar clippity-clop not moving swiftly enough for Sadie’s liking. A muddled gray daylight had edged over the top of the mountain a little while ago. Snow flurries swirled, dancing on air, as the horse and carriage joggled its way down the road.

  She shouldn’t be on her way to Levi’s on a Sunday morning. It seemed self-indulgent to have to talk to him first thing on the Sabbath. It was God’s day, not hers. Still, she tugged on the left rein, turning the carriage onto Hertzler Drive.