Hot Southern Mess (Hide Your Crazy)

by Hardenbrook, T. A.

  “So, I showed the management team the presentation you put together,” Stephanie paused, “and, they loved it!”

  “Oh my gosh, I was not expecting that out of your mouth right now,” I gushed, letting out a huge sigh of relief.

  “What were you thinking? Wait, never mind, I don’t really care. But, that’s not the reason I wanted to talk with you in private.”

  Way to get my hopes up Stephanie, then smash them into smithereens.

  “As you probably have noticed, Political Downfall has become quit hot on the airwaves now. So, the label is pulling them from opening on this tour and giving them their own headlining deal. Smaller venues, but none the less their own show. So, I need someone to head out with them and since you already know the band, I wanted to see if you would be willing to go with them?”

  “Of course,” I blurted out without giving myself time to think. I was so worried about being fired that I didn’t think of what she was actually asking of me. A solo gig with PD? I could handle that, right?

  Chapter 31: Happy endings are complete bullshit.

  I couldn’t believe I had just been offered another position touring with Political Downfall. I had it all played out in my mind that Stephanie was canning my ass, and then sending me back to Seattle crying. Now, I had just agreed to head out on the road with another band; one that I got burned by their lead singer.

  But, I could do it. This was a huge opportunity for advancement with this company, and telling her no would have been the stupidest decision I had ever made.

  “So the plan is, they will be playing tonight with Black Laden, and then getting on a plane in NYC tomorrow back to Seattle to start headway on their section,” Stephanie stated simply.

  “Uh, okay. Does that mean I’m going back, too?”

  “Of course. There will be a lot of things you need to take care of at the office before the tour heads out. Your assistant, Megan, will meet you at the office on Friday and I’m sure the rest of the staff will catch you up on what has already been done before then.”

  Holy shit, this was a big deal. Like I’m the whole kitten-caboodle for this entire shindig. I’m sure my entire face turned green when I realized how much work this was going to be.

  “Molly, I wouldn’t have offered this position to you if I didn’t think you were ready. The last couple weeks have been rough, but you’re still standing and that takes some major balls to get through what was thrown at you.”

  “Thank you,” I whispered, still completely in shock at the whole situation.

  “Alright, well I’ve got to go tell Black Laden about the new band coming on in NYC. Why don’t you head over to PD’s dressing room and let them in on the good news? They already know about the tour, but don’t realize it’s you that will be joining them.” Stephanie smiled while reaching out to grab my shoulder. “You got this, Molly, make it your bitch,” she snickered before walking out of the room.

  Fuck me twice come Sunday, this was really happening.

  I stood out in the hallway by the band’s door for at least fifteen minutes before getting the courage to walk in.

  “Hey boys,” I called out lightly.

  “Mol………..oh wow, you look different,” Brantley expressed, giving me that trade mark smile of his.

  “Yeah, a little different. But hey, I’ve got something to talk with you all about. So, congrats on getting your own tour. You guys are really great and totally deserve it.”

  They truly were some of the best kick ass musicians; however Brantley still sucked at being part of the human race.

  “Thanks, Molly, we are really excited to get out on our own,” Chance added, smiling like a lunatic.

  “Yeah, and I get to go with you,” I tossed out there quickly, immediately tensing for their reaction.

  “Huh?”

  “I am going on tour with you guys. It will be me and Megan on the road with you.”

  “That girl that helped you a couple weeks ago?” Brantley asked.

  “Yep, that’s the one,” I replied, slowly relaxing my body.

  “Cool, I liked her,” Chance added, smirking like I was missing something going on there.

  “Well, that’s great Molly; glad you came on board.” Brantley smiled as he went back to drinking his beer.

  “Yeah great,” a collective agreement came from the others.

  I didn’t know what to expect from these guys. I really had visions of either a King Kong sized tantrum happening when I told them I was coming with, or maybe they would show some excitement. This nonchalant attitude they flipped me was weird.

  “Alright. Well, I’m going to go. Have a great last show tonight.” I waved, heading for the door.

  “Hey Molly?”

  “Yeah,” I turned and replied.

  “I really am glad you are coming with us,” Brantley said sincerely.

  I grinned. “Thanks.” This could totally work between us. Sure, I don’t think I would ever believe anything that came out of that man’s mouth, but I could get use to bossing him around. Maybe I should get a whip, and not for sexual gratification purposes.

  I spent the rest of the concert trailing Stephanie around, trying to soak up as much knowledge as I could in the short amount of time I had left with her.

  “Great show tonight, guys,” Stephanie exclaimed as Black Laden came off the stage.

  “Yeah, you guys were awesome,” I added.

  “Great last show for you tonight, huh Molly?” Stephanie added, nudging my shoulder.

  “Last show?” Reid snapped, turning to look at both Stephanie and I.

  “Yeah, I’m leaving tomorrow with Political Downfall, back to Seattle.” I thought he would have known, considering this was his tour and Stephanie said she was talking to them about the new band in NYC. I figured she would have mentioned me going with them at some point in the conversation.

  “Why didn’t anyone tell me this?”

  “I didn’t know until earlier this evening,” I babbled, shifting my eyes between Stephanie and Reid.

  “Well, I’m going to get on the road. Molly, you have tonight handled, right?”

  “Of course, Stephanie. See you tomorrow.” I sighed. The last thing I wanted to deal with tonight was a moody Reid, and apparently I had just gone and pissed that man off again.

  Everyone got on the buses without any hiccups, as we started the journey to NYC. It wasn’t the first time I visited the city of lights, but none the less it was still magical. I loved all the commotion of the city; all the different cultures, Broadway, the music scene; it was an incredible place to visit. It was a bummer that we didn’t get to spend really any time there, considering that we were scheduled to fly out right after lunch back to Seattle. But I was excited for this adventure. A new journey was waiting to unfold for me, and taking it at full speed was the only way to go.

  “Why do you do this?” Reid stumbled out of his room, questioning me in the darkness.

  “What are you talking about?”

  “This back and forth crap. One minute I think you are finally coming around, then the next you are back to being a complete bitch.”

  My cell phone rang and I quickly grabbed it.

  “Jefferson, I’ll call you back. No, I’m okay; you don’t need to come save me.” I softly laughed, sensing the anger building in the room. “I’ll call you tomorrow, and thank you for helping me.” I smiled before powering down my phone. I didn’t need another interruption, and having my phone ring again was only going to make the situation worse.

  “Seriously Reid? You are the one claiming you missed me while I was gone, and when I came back you were all up on some blonde skank,” I snapped, trying desperately to keep my cool.

  “That was my sister. Had you taken your head out of your ass long enough to let me explain, I would have introduced the two of you. But no, you had to get all pissy and jump to conclusions each and every damn time something didn’t go your way.”

  “Your sister?” I questioned, racking my
brain for some sort of mental explanation.

  “Yes, my sister, Molly Anne. Seriously, you looked like a psycho bitch around her. Each time I asked for a moment to explain you blew me off. Do you not realize that I’ve tried to change for you?” Reid grumbled, setting himself down across from me.

  “Reid, you haven’t changed, there has always been two sides to you. I’ve tried to accept your lifestyle, knowing that at any moment I could get either side of you. But, you confused the hell out of me, Reid. I can’t keep playing games with you. I deserve better in my life than someone who can’t make a commitment to one person. You and I are toxic with each other in anything but a friendship. That’s all we can ever be, Reid; friends.”

  “It’s not that hard, Molly Anne, so stop trying to complicate things. Just accept the inevitable. You’re mine, it’s that simple.” Reid’s eyes dug into mine with such passion that even I started to blush in the darkness.

  “Easy for you to say, you can have any girl in the entire world. Why in the hell would I just commit to something that isn’t even possible?”

  “Seriously, you are talking a bunch of bullshit. Get over whatever issues you are carrying and move on. I’m not going anywhere without you, Molly Anne. It’s me and you, and who gives a flying fuck about anyone else.”

  “I care, Reid! Life doesn’t just hand out happy endings. It’s not like you take a ticket and wait for your turn. Something is bound to go wrong, and I don’t think I have enough strength to continue to stand when it happens.” My voice was starting to crack, and I could feel the tears starting to pool under my lashes.

  “Then I’ll be there to stand with you. I’m serious about us, Molly Ann; more serious than I have ever been in my entire life. Stop trying to come up with a fucking reason it won’t work, because, trust me, I’ve spent weeks trying to convince myself of the exact same thing. Guess where I am? Here, still completely and utterly infatuated by you.” Reid’s voice softened as he reached out and grabbed my hands.

  “This isn’t a joke, Reid. My heart’s on the line here.”

  “You think it is fun for me? Watching you hang out with douches every damn day? Waiting for you to come back to our bus at night, so I can finally get you alone? I stood back and waited for you to realize that I was the man for you, not some asshole who puts up a front just so you would like him. I watched as you made your bed with Brantley, who takes the damn cake for douches, and then whoever the fuck just called you right now. Does he know about me? That you sleep in my bed at the end of the day. That it’s me who was there for you during this entire trip?”

  “Really, cause I’m sure that man has been there for me more than your ass has been. You never had to step back, Reid, because I would have come running into your damn arms the moment you said my name. He was there for me when I needed it, and where were you?” I ripped my hands out of his, and narrowed my eyes at the man standing in front of me. How easily our emotions got switched when we were around each other. Just like a ticking time bomb, something was about to detonate.

  “This is fucking ridiculous.” Reid tossed his hands up in the air, gritting his teeth as he started to storm off.

  “Walk away, Reid, just fucking walk away!” I screamed. I no longer cared who heard us on this damn bus.

  “God damn it, Molly Anne! All of this is because I fucking love you, damn it. Can’t you see that it’s always been you since day one? Stop acting like a scared little girl and deal with this. I love you and I know you love me, so that’s it. Simple as that. Either you drop the act and admit that you love me, or I have to walk away. I’m not going to sit back anymore and just wait for you to realize that this is real.”

  My heart was pounding in my chest and for that moment I couldn’t breathe. Reid had admitted that he loved me, and that was all I had wanted to hear since meeting that man. I knew from the start he was different, that there was this stupid magnetic draw we had with each other, yet tried to deny the pull I felt for him. So why in the crazy ass world was my heart now breaking with those three little words coming from the man of my dreams?

  “Reid, I don’t know…..” My voice cracked, sending my already rattled nerves into millions of pieces.

  “Well, I guess there is my answer then.”

  And just like that he turned and walked back to his room. Everything in me screamed to run after the man, apologize for my stupid words of doubt, and promise him that it’s one-hundred percent us from here on out, but I couldn’t. I stood there frozen like an absolute idiot, watching the true love of my life walk away from me. This can’t be happening.

  Chapter 32: So that’s it, I’m leaving.

  I spent the rest of the night silently crying into the hard pillows on the couch. The pride in me wouldn’t let myself walk back to his room to apologize. We both said some nasty things that couldn’t be taken back, and then, well, he confessed he was in it all for me.

  So why couldn’t I just forget it all, give up the past, and move forward? We had both come completely clean with each other, so what was the issue now? Why did I let my past dictate the future? The possible future I could have shared with him.

  The bus stopped at Madison Square Garden, and I quickly scampered off. I didn’t want to see any of the guys this morning. My heart couldn’t take the words that would be spoken about last night, because I know they all heard it. The bus wasn’t soundproof, and both of us screaming at the top of our lungs basically made the entire conversation hearable.

  I hurried to the crew bus and grabbed the remainder of my bags and Simon, and wandered back to PD’s old tour bus. Knocking on the door, I waited for someone to open it up.

  “Eager to get going?” Brantley greeted me at the door.

  “Just want to make a good impression.” I shrugged, silently praying that the total devastation on my face was not too obvious.

  “Come in; I’ll get the guys up,” he offered, reaching out to take my bags.

  Our hands brushed each other’s as I handed them over. Pains shot through my body, knowing damn well there was never any coming back from what happened with Reid earlier. Never again would I feel his touch, or hear his voice telling me good morning. Just when I thought life was finally turning around, that the karma gods had decided to stop punching me in the damn face, the epic blow out happened. My happy ending shattered right before me. I really needed to start believing what I had claimed all along: some stories just don’t have happy endings after all.

  We were back in Seattle, making great headway on the tour. Political Downfall was scheduled for a twenty –six stop tour that was departing in less than a week. Our first stop was Spokane, Washington; where we would pick up our opening act, Pleasure Revenge.

  Things were falling in place perfectly, except for my still breaking heart every damn time I thought about Reid. It didn’t help that I worked for a company where they were one of the biggest contracts. Reid’s face was all over that damn office, and each time I turned the radio on I swear his songs were stalking me. The pain didn’t lessen with each day that passed. I truly believed that he was the one for me, but he walked away because I was afraid to take a chance. Chances suck, but if I had to do it all over again, I would have gladly took that risk.

  “Hey, do you have a tampon?” Megan came into my office and asked.

  “Yeah, I think so………………” I replied, reaching for my purse under my desk. I pulled one out and handed it over.

  “Thanks, I completely forgot to pick some up this morning.” She sighed.

  “I’ve got a couple in here if you need it. My period hasn’t started ye…………………………………….t.”

  Holy fuck me, I’ve haven’t had my period. My heart started racing while my breathing became erratic. How in the world did I not know that I hadn’t gotten my monthly visit yet? Shit, when was the last time I had one? I racked my brain trying to remember.

  “You okay, Molly?” Megan questioned, giving me a concerned look.

  “Yeah, I just
need to get a bite to eat,” I stumbled, quickly pushing myself away from my desk.

  “I can get it if you want.”

  “No, I need some air, anyway. I’ll be back in an hour,” I mumbled, quickly dashing out the damn door to the elevator. This can’t be happening. I was always careful about not letting a man go bareback, that this had to be a fluke.

  Shit, Reid.

  Reid never wore a condom each time we got caught up in the moment.

  “Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit,” I grumbled while smashing my key card into the elevator reader. There was a corner store down the block; I just needed to grab a test to ease my mind. Life had been too cruel lately, that this couldn’t happen. I couldn’t be pregnant with the man I was head over heels in love with that wanted nothing to do with me anymore.

  I placed the test on the back of the toilet and started chewing on my nails. I had sixty seconds till peace of mind was handed over. I overreacted sometimes, and this was just one of those instances. My heart thumped loudly in my chest, as I continued to sweat out the remaining few long agonizing moments of my life.

  Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and leaned over the toilet. Opening my eyes, I let out a small gasp. “Really…………………….”

  My phone beeped in my pocket. I couldn’t stop my body from trembling as I pulled it out.

  *I can’t tell you that it’s going to be easy. But I can tell you that I’m worth every fucking struggle that we would go through. I’m sorry. I miss you. Call me please. Reid*

  The En………..No, wait. It’s just the beginning.

  Watch out for:

  “Cheap & Classy”

  Book two of the

  “Hide Your Crazy” series,

  Coming Spring 2014.

  About the Author