The Girl and The Raven

by Pauline Gruber

  He looks at me then, his expression dazed, as if even now he doesn’t understand what happened.

  “When she got pregnant, she was so happy. I’d always heard a woman glows during pregnancy, but this was the first time I’d seen it.”

  “We all hoped the bad times were behind her, but as time went by and we still hadn’t met Mr. Wonderful, we couldn’t help but worry.”

  “Mr. Wonderful didn’t marry your mom.” His posture slumps and his bottom lip pokes out a little. He looks so sad. “He left her high and dry and…”

  “And what?”

  In the past, this is where Sheldon would take off his glasses and methodically clean them using the bottom of his t-shirt. His way to buy time. Instead he rubs his eyes with his fists and lets out a low, mournful sigh.

  “Please, Sheldon, what happened next?”

  “I don’t know any other way to say it, kiddo.” He looks as sad as I’ve ever seen him. “She just…lost it.”

  I swallow past the lump in my throat.

  “She seemed to lose her mind. Literally. Her life revolved around him and when he left, it was like her mind…and her will to live…went with him.”

  I really don’t want to hear anymore.

  “Your mom stopped going to work, stopped eating… everything. She was worse than depressed. She couldn’t think straight. She had nightmares. She became paranoid. After several attempts to get her help, she finally accepted. After six months of intense counseling, she was better.” Sheldon rubs his hands on his jeans. “Notice I said better and not fine. She decided to move to Tennessee. The counselor agreed that it would be best for her to get away from Chicago. Away from him.”

  I draw my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them, trying to stop shaking, or at least hide it. Sheldon slides over to me, pulls me into a hug. “You know I love you, right? More than anything?”

  I nod against his shoulder. After a moment, he pulls away.

  “Did Momma ever hear from him again? My father?”

  “Not as far as I know.”

  “Thanks for telling me.”

  Sheldon shrugs off his sadness and his expression hardens. “Whoever that guy is he lost out, Lucy. He lost out on knowing you. You’re pretty amazing and Bernard and I feel lucky to have you here…never mind that it’s next to impossible to keep a full fridge with you around.

  I return his strained smile. He kisses the top of my head then leaves.

  I huddle under the blanket and shiver. I don’t know if Jude killed Gram, but there’s no way around the fact that he killed Momma.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Images of Momma drunk and high fill my thoughts. Momma crawling on the floor because she couldn’t walk. Her bones jutting out from her corpse-like body. Her cries in the middle of the night. Her demands that I sleep with her to keep the nightmares away.

  Pressing my fists against my eyes and gritting my teeth, I try to shut down my mind. It’s no good. I get dressed and sneak up to the roof.

  According to Momma’s letters, Jude heavily pursued her. Why would he do that just to dump her? I recall the sound of buzzing flies, his hypnotic power. She never stood a chance against him. What about Dylan? He’s getting worse. Sheldon talked about Momma’s nightmares and hallucinations. Coincidence? Not likely. Now he’s brought trouble in the form of Seamus McAllister into my life. And Lola…guilt twists like a knife in my belly. God knows what Jude’s done to her.

  I rub my arms vigorously in an attempt to stop trembling. It’s difficult to make room for sympathy when Momma bailed on taking care of me almost from day one. At least now I know why. Heck, she was barely able to take care of herself. Tears blur my vision and spill onto my cheeks.

  A breeze moves through the trees, rustling leaves. I used to love that sound. Now it fills me with fear. I jump up and am about to walk toward the railing when I see a stone statue off to my right. It has to be at least three feet tall. Hard to miss, but I don’t remember seeing it before. Then again, when I’m with Marcus, I don’t really pay attention to anything else. The statue is positioned so that it shares my favorite view, watching over our street.

  I run my fingers over its face. The stone is cold to the touch, the rough texture snags my skin. It has large ears and eyes and a ring through its nose. Its teeth and huge paw-like feet look feline. The blunted facial features look like a cross between a dog and a bear. The rippled muscles and large, sturdy wings are strangely comforting.

  I take a seat directly beside the gargoyle, not wanting to be alone right now. Gargoyles are meant to protect, right? Maybe this one will keep me safe—from the nightmares, from Seamus, from my worries about Dylan and Lola. I rest my head against the solid stone, allowing my eyes to close for just a minute.

  “Lucy.” Marcus shakes me awake. “You’re freezing. What are you doing up here?” His wings circle me and I sink against his bare chest. All at once, I am warm.

  “Can’t sleep? Or are you looking for me?” With the side of my face pressed against his chest, I can hear and feel the words leaving his body.

  “I needed to see you. How did you know?” My eyes close as he strokes my hair. I can’t share with him what I learned from Sheldon. I’m not ready for him to say he told me so.

  “Can I ask you a question?” My voice is thick. The sound of his heartbeat lulls me back toward sleep.

  “Yes.”

  “What are you?” The words come out like a sigh.

  He takes his time answering, but when he finally speaks, the velvety softness of his voice turns husky, sending a delicious shiver through me. “I’m the creature who spends his nights on the rooftop, protecting you from evil.”

  “Creature?” I peek up at his face.

  Marcus shrugs his wings in response. “What else would you call me?”

  Realization filters into my tired brain. “Wait!” I look behind him. The stone gargoyle is gone. Creature? “You…you’re a gargoyle?”

  “Are you going to run away screaming now?”

  With gentle fingers, I stroke away the worry lines from his face. I feel his heartbeat quicken against my cheek.

  “If you’re trying to scare me off, you’re going to have to do better than that. I face down demons, remember?”

  He laughs and shakes his head.

  I snuggle deeper into his embrace. His lips press against the top of my head and he sighs, as if he’s relieved now that I know. I have so many questions, but I’m drifting off.

  “We need to get you back downstairs. I don’t want Sheldon and Bernard to find you gone and freak out.”

  He helps me up and lifts me off my feet in one swift motion. It’s cozy and warm in his arms. I nuzzle into him, inhaling his amazing scent. Marcus carries me to the ledge and leaps off the roof, landing softly in the back yard. It’s like I weigh nothing at all.

  He chuckles near my ear. “Snuck out your bedroom window, did you? I hope to never find you doing this unless it’s to see me.”

  “Hmmm…we’ll see,” I murmur, expecting to hear him chuckle again. He doesn’t.

  He kisses the top of my head and pushes me through my window. I give him a tired smile and push the screen down until it locks into place. Without bothering to change back into pajamas, I fall into bed. Within seconds, I am deep asleep.

  It’s not long before I’m dreaming. A much younger me is at a party. Lots of people are there, even Uncle Zack, who I only know from photos. We’re at Gram’s house, the one she lived in with Grampa, when Momma and Zack were little. I recognize the pale green living room walls from photos in Gram’s albums.

  Uncle Zack and I sit together, tucked in a corner of the living room. He doesn’t like crowds and there are people here that he wants to avoid. He’s happy talking to me, though, which makes me feel special. He starts telling me a story about a yacht.

  He leans in periodically, his eyes roaming around the room as if looking for someone. He tells me to listen closely. It’s important.

  “Why is every
one dressed in black?” I blurt out, my voice too loud. Fortunately, no one pays any attention. “And why is that woman crying?”

  “Because she’s sad, although for the life of me, I can’t figure out why.” He grimaces, shaking his head. “She was my business law professor. She never liked me, said I asked too many questions, and yet here she is crying.”

  She isn’t the only one. I realize this is the saddest party I’d ever been to. I want to leave, but I don’t say so. Zack keeps talking to me, so I’m guessing he wants me to stay. “But why is she crying?”

  “Because I died.” He shrugs. “This is my funeral.”

  I stare at him and have a sudden case of the heebee jeebies. How could it be his funeral if I’m sitting right next to him? He cranes his neck and takes another look around.

  “Who are you looking for?”

  “My father,” he says. “I want to laugh in the bastard’s face, tell him I won.”

  * * * *

  The very second I wake up the next morning, I lay still and try to hold onto the dream. Something about it seems important. I focus as hard as I can…but it’s gone. I punch my pillow.

  As I strip off my clothes in the bathroom, something drifts to the floor. A feather. I feel as light as one as I recall snuggling in Marcus’ arms last night. I pick it up and spin it between my fingers, hold it to my nose. It doesn’t smell like anything, just tickles. Marcus is a gargoyle. He’s a kick-ass supernatural. I tuck the feather into my medicine cabinet, then climb into the shower. All the while I’m humming my favorite song from Marcus’ music mix.

  * * * *

  “Hey.” I take the empty seat next to Katie at our lunch table. The other girls continue with their animated conversation.

  “How are the men in your life?” Katie grins. She’s changed her braces to maroon and gold, our school colors

  I frown at her, keeping my voice low. “You make it sound like I have multiple boyfriends.”

  “I know Marcus is your main squeeze. It’s just that you and Dylan seem pretty tight, too.”

  I don’t like the teasing gleam in her eye.

  “I’m worried about him.” I don’t tell her how freaked out I am, that I’ve called him several times and he hasn’t called me back. “That’s all.”

  “I know. I’m sorry.” She rubs my back briefly. “I don’t mean to sound like a gossip. How’s he doing anyway?”

  I focus on my veggie burger. “I don’t know. I haven’t heard from him.”

  “Katie and Lucy, we’re going over some important stuff here,” Caroline says excitedly. “We could use your input.”

  “Sure. What’s up?” Katie asks.

  “Homecoming!” Ella rolls her eyes like we should somehow know this already. “Are you going to sign up for the planning committee with us?”

  Katie turns to me, her eyebrows raised. “What do you think?”

  I hesitate. “I don’t know. I need to focus on homework since I work on Saturdays.”

  “And Marcus. Can’t forget about him,” Ella teases. Her bizarre colored contact lenses look even more alien as she flutters her eyelashes at me.

  “Meetings are after school on Mondays and Wednesdays,” Caroline announces as she smooths the blue flyer on the table. “Ella, Suzy, Cloe and I are signing up. The dance is coming up fast.”

  “When is it?” I ask, trying to read the blue sheet upside down.

  “In eight weeks,” Suzy says. “Are you going to bring Marcus?”

  I bet Marcus looks great in a suit. “I haven’t thought about it.” I turn to Katie. “Are you going?”

  “Hopefully Trevor will ask me.” Oh right. The guy she met at the pool over the summer.

  “We can always go stag,” Suzy suggests. “We’ll still have a good time.”

  I’ve never been to a dance. I could never have afforded a dress, so it was good that no one ever asked me. Besides, there was no way I’d have let a boy pick me up at home.

  I wonder what it would be like going with Marcus. I can dip into my savings and buy a dress. Would we spend the entire night in each other’s arms? Would Ella stare at us, jealous? Or would she flirt with him, try to steal him away?

  The rest of lunch is spent talking about the dance. Fortunately, no one notices I’m not paying attention. I keep thinking about Jude and Dylan and Lola.

  My next two class periods, gym and art, last forever. I’m the first person out of art class when the final bell rings. As I make my way down the hall, someone calls my name. Shawn races to catch up to me.

  “Where’s the fire?” he asks, out of breath. Shawn is one of those super smart, quirky guys. He also happens to be president of the chess club. I liked him the first day we met. Today he wears a black beret over his blonde curls. With his wicked smile, he’s totally able to pull it off. “What do you think of St. Aquinas now that you’ve made it through your first week?”

  “Good so far. Everyone’s been really nice and I’m finally learning my way around. The one-way staircases really threw me.”

  He nods. “I know, right? It took me a while to get them straight my freshman year.”

  We both laugh. “And I like the fact that I don’t have a ton of homework.”

  “Yeah, well, that’ll change by next week.” He grins and I notice his eyeteeth are pointy and jut forward over the rest of his teeth. Vampire teeth. Cool. “They’re always light on us the first week and then the reprieve is over. Let’s just say ‘overwhelmed’ is a term you’ll be hearing a lot next week.”

  “Thanks for the heads up.” Now I’m positive I don’t want to sign up for the homecoming committee.

  Shawn and I compare class schedules as we head to our lockers. His last name is Wheeler, so his locker’s near mine. I don’t notice Marcus until I catch Shawn staring past me, a curious expression on his face. My heart nearly leaps out of my chest and a huge smile spreads across my face as I turn around. I forget about Shawn until he coughs.

  “Um, Shawn, I’d like you to meet Marcus. Marcus this is Shawn. We’re in English and art together.” My introduction is clumsy and I feel my cheeks grow warm. It doesn’t help that Marcus is watching me, the corners of his mouth twitching. Why does he think it’s funny every time I do something awkward?

  Marcus and Shawn trade nods, then Shawn turns to me. “I guess I’ll see you next week.”

  I wave goodbye to Shawn before turning back to Marcus.

  “What are you doing here?” I ask, my smile growing wider.

  “I’ve come to offer you a ride home, save you from your horrendous commute.” He leans against my locker. The easy way he carries himself…his confidence…is so freaking hot. “My final period is study hall and I didn’t have any homework to do, so I left.”

  “You’re allowed to do that?”

  “Not really, but Mrs. Ring loves me.” He winks.

  “Of course she does,” I elbow him aside, open my locker, and switch the books in my backpack for two others. I don’t have any homework, but I want to work ahead in a couple of classes. “I don’t have study hall.”

  “Plan your schedule better next year.” A thrill races through me as he slings his arm around my shoulders and steers me down the hall.

  “Wait!” I stop. “I forgot about Katie. We need to give her a ride home. You don’t mind, do you?”

  “Not at all,” he says innocently. “It just means I won’t kiss you in the car. I’m not into PDA.”

  “Oh?” I stare at him for a moment, my gaze fixed on his lips. Katie is my best friend…right? I shake my head, clearing the daze. I won’t abandon her. Kiss postponed.

  Marcus laughs at my pout. I shoot him a dirty look as I text Katie. Five minutes later, the three of us are walking to the parking lot.

  “Marcus, you’re the bomb!” Katie gives him a high five as we approach his car. “Anytime I can skip the bus and the train is a great day.”

  Once inside his car, Marcus grabs hold of my hand, and I forgive him for withholding his kiss.

&n
bsp; I glance over my shoulder at Katie. “I was thinking about inviting Shawn Wheeler to join us for lunch sometime. See if he and Suzy hit it off. Maybe they could go to Homecoming together.”

  “That’s a great idea!” Katie gushes. “Did you know that Cloe is probably going with Darick, that guy from her AP Chemistry class?”

  Something black slams into the windshield with a horrible crunching sound. Katie and I both scream.

  “What the hell!” Marcus peels my fingers from his hand and climbs out of the car.

  My skin tingles as I stare open mouthed at the dead bird plastered against the glass.

  “Lucy…” Katie whispers from the back. “Why does that bird have red eyes?”

  A sudden coldness hits my stomach like a brick. It’s one of Jude’s crows. Has it come to spy on me? Marcus?

  “I don’t know,” I lie.

  The stereo continues to play while we sit frozen in our seats, our eyes glued to the windshield. Blood oozes down the glass while Marcus digs in the trunk, looking for something to clean up the mess. The crow hit the glass so hard its body is crushed. How is that possible? Marcus uses an old newspaper and a roll of paper towels to remove the bird. And everything else. I try not to gag.

  He shoves the whole mess into a bag and then sets the bag inside his trunk. Yuck. I guess he wants to show it to Persephone and Aiden. Luckily Katie seems too freaked out to ask about it. The ride home is eerily silent.

  Was the crow sent as some kind of message? A threat? Is Jude aware that Marcus is trying to keep me from seeing him?

  I shudder as I recall Jude’s warning to Marcus that night in front of the three-flat.

  If you know who I am, then you know what I’m capable of. And you know what happened the last time someone stood in my way.

  Katie hurries inside her house after giving me a quick hug. She’s expecting a call from Trevor. He doesn’t go to St. Aquinas and they’re going through withdrawal. Based on her sidelong looks at Marcus’ trunk, I could tell she just wanted to get far away from the dead crow.