Resist You (Unchained Attraction Book 3)

by K. L. Shandwick

  As unsettled as I felt, my mind was paralyzed from the moment I’d seen her. Try as I may to ignore her, Tricia continued to dominate all of my thoughts. For a few minutes, I felt as if my head would explode and I was glad I’d walked away from the oppressive atmosphere. If I hadn’t been interrupted, I may have said or done something stupid.

  Billie came into view as I entered the kitchen. My sweet sister-in-law looked concerned and stepped forward, blocking my path. After she gave me an affectionate hug, she took a step back. Worry immediately etched her face and I frowned.

  “Everything all right?” I asked.

  “I met your… girlfriend earlier. I had no idea you were bringing anyone with you today.”

  “To be honest, I toyed with telling Saw, but then figured I’d surprise you all instead,” I replied with a small smile.

  Nodding, she looked thoughtful before she drew a hesitant breath. “You saw Tricia?” My back stiffened and I fought against showing her how annoyed I felt that she’d brought her friend into our conversation. What happened with us had been brief and long past. “How do you feel seeing her again?”

  Narrowing my eyes, I assessed my sister-in-law’s mood and wondered if what she’d asked was a genuine question or a fishing expedition on behalf of her friend. I shrugged and tried to look nonchalant.

  “I’m not sure what you mean,” I hedged, keeping my eyes locked into hers, suddenly aware of how I looked in response.

  “You know she’s here, I … I mean you talked to her?” Again, I wasn’t sure whether Billie had seen our brief meeting earlier in the afternoon and was testing me. Could she have seen us? It was possible she’d missed it because she had placed herself on kitchen duty during the afternoon.

  “I did, we said hi, and moved on. Anything else?” My tone was sharper than I’d intended, and knew immediately I’d attracted more of Billie’s attention than I’d have liked. Most of the conversations I’d had with my sister-in-law had been cordial. In fact, until then, I’d have gone as far as to say there were times when I’d felt closer to Billie than toward any of my sisters. She was a fair woman who’d experienced injustice in her life before Sawyer. I guessed that was part of the reason why she had been able to believe in me about Charlotte.

  “Maybe someday, one of you two will let me in on the big secret I’ve missed, James.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” My eyes flared in shock when I realized there had been no friendly disclosure from Tricia regarding us.

  “You tell me, because it would appear, you both go missing every time there’s a party or family event, and I can’t mention one of you to the other without being blasted for making an inquiry, like you did just now.”

  Snappy Billie was rarely someone I’d met in the time I had known her. I sighed heavily and felt all the tension in my chest dissipate in relief. Tricia had never told her that she’d shot me down. Running a hand through my hair, I considered how much to tell her, but I figured she deserved a CliffNotes explanation.

  “Look, you’d have to speak to Tricia to get information of what goes on in her head, but if you didn’t know already, we hooked up… a few times over about a seven month period. I was wary… I didn’t want to do anything that would rock the boat with you guys… I mean you and Tricia or between you and Sawyer, given he’s my brother. Tricia was the instigator…not that I resisted, you understand. Anyway, each occasion happened around you and Sawyer.” She scrunched her brow, clearly confused by my explanation.

  “The first time was after your wedding. “Afterward, from my point of view … let’s say I would have been happy if something had developed between us. Obviously, that didn’t happen. That was Tricia’s decision, but when she made all the moves, I couldn’t turn her down. I wanted her and was happy to oblige.” I gave her a sheepish smile.

  “I don’t get it, James. It’s obvious by the way she avoids talking to me, she has a thing for you.”

  I scoffed, “You think? I’d have to disagree. Look, I know she’s your friend, but Tricia wants fuck buddies not relationships.” I glanced back over my shoulder, my eyes scanning the room to ensure no one else was in earshot. “The second time we hooked up was when you invited her to dinner when I picked Colby up from school because there was no one else, and the last time was when we were the rescue team because you were pregnant and Logan came for Christmas.”

  “You already told us about the evening of the wedding, and I know you went home with her that Christmas night—that night you came to dinner—I had no idea about.”

  “Yeah? So…” I dropped my gaze and toyed with a tray of melon slices on a nearby table. “I called a halt to what we were doing after that because … well … I’m sorry, I know she’s your friend, but I’m a little long in the tooth to be someone’s fuck buddy.”

  “Wow,” she breathed, placing her hand on her hip and staring out the door into the yard. “I’m sorry, James. I had no idea she’d treated you that way. All this time I’d figured since she always gets touchy when I mention your name, it had been you that hadn’t pushed for more.”

  “Always the bad guy, right?” I ground out. “As for touchy? Today’s the first time I’ve set eyes on her since that Christmas when I drove her home. To be frank, and I don’t care if this is too much information, but those few times I spent with her were intense—best sex of my life—but as soon as we were done, she kicked me out of her bed before I’d caught my breath.”

  It was apparent my honest conversation had shocked my sister-in-law, when I saw her blush awkwardly.

  “How well do you know her?” I asked, pushing on despite Billie’s reddened cheeks.

  Billie pursed her lips and shrugged. “We became friends after I’d gotten divorced and went to work for the mortgage company she still works for. We went out together, spent lunches together, but we grew close pretty quickly, but it was only a month or two before I started to see Sawyer.”

  “Then, perhaps you’re not as close as you think you both are. I mean, if Tricia won’t confide in you ...” I trailed off. My narrowed eyes searched Billie’s and I shrugged. “Anyway, sorry if I sound rude … I’d better hit the john and get back to Juliette; she doesn’t know anyone.”

  “Juliette’s a lovely girl,” she said softly and smiled, her eyes brightening for the change of subject.

  “Yeah, she is … and uncomplicated,” I added, not able to stop myself from having one last swipe at the way Tricia had treated me. I blew out a breath and composed myself, annoyed by how easily I became riled talking about her friend. “Listen, we’re going to use your apartment tonight. I think once I’ve used the bathroom, I’ll call us an Uber and we’ll make our way over there.”

  “Don’t let Tricia chase you away, James. It’s great to see you. I know Sawyer was pleased when he heard you were coming.”

  “She isn’t, hon, I’m beat, and Juliette was working late last night, I can tell she’s tired.” I grinned. “She goes quiet when she’s tired,” I added, with a wink. Leaning forward I kissed Billie’s cheek. “My brother’s a lucky man,” I said honestly. Billie rewarded me with another soft smile.

  “Thanks,” she replied, her eyes softening as she looked out the kitchen window and I sensed she was looking at where he sat. My eyes followed suit before I glanced back to look at her. “For confiding in me,” she added, patting my forearm.

  Nodding, I had almost left the large kitchen, and had been heading toward the bathroom, when a question suddenly burned in my chest, I needed the answer to. “Billie?”

  “Yeah?” she asked, turning with a tray of burger buns in her hands.

  “Is it serious? Tricia and Mick …” Billie shrugged and held her hands palms up in a who knows gesture.

  “This is the first time I’ve seen her socially in a long time…” Billie’s implication spoke volumes … none of us really knew what went on in her friend’s head, apart from Tricia herself.

  Chapter Six

  Splashing water on my face usually sober
ed me up. When I felt more awake, I patted it dry with a hand towel before placing it back on the rack. Looking up into the mirror, I noticed a deep crease between my brows that wasn’t there that morning. My furrowed brow was a telltale sign I hadn’t done as well at hiding my feelings as I thought I had during the day. Gone was the relaxed, much happier expression I’d had when I arrived.

  Wetting my fingers again, I ran them through my dark brown hair, then down the five-day-old stubble on my chin, as my thoughts turned yet again to the woman who had snuck under my skin and wrecked the equilibrium I had felt with Jules. Unwarranted feelings of desire persisted toward Tricia, despite how she had previously rejected me, and with them came a knot in my chest which suggested I still had some unfinished business with her.

  Turning off the faucet, I unlocked the door only for Tricia to push me back on her way in. When she closed the door behind her and turned to look at me, the same wired feeling I’d had earlier that day coursed through my veins. My gaze immediately fell to her warm delicate hands pressing firmly on my chest.

  With stormy eyes blazing she spoke hurriedly. “It’s been agony waiting to speak to you alone. I’m sorry about earlier; it was … awkward. It really is good to see you, James,” Tricia disclosed, stepping farther into my personal space in the cramped little room. She traced her fingertips delicately over my chest. To anyone else it would have looked like a move, but to me I knew she couldn’t help touching me. I knew because I’d had the same reaction when I’d first saw her again.

  Another charge of electricity shot through me, and her tiny, light, unconscious stroke made my dick stir with interest. My heartbeat stuttered and I glanced from her eyes to her lips. The buzz in my body hadn’t quite had the same kick as my initial reaction from seeing her, but I’d had hours to get used to her, although it still made my thoughts scattered.

  For most of the day, I had fought to contain my hormones with mixed success, aware of a static buzz that existed because I knew she was near, but in the confines of the bathroom there was nowhere to make distance between us.

  Using this to her advantage, Tricia moved toward me again, closing the last of the gap between us and pressing her soft warm body into mine. Again, my reaction was on autopilot as her soft body melded against my hard one and I inhaled her addictive scent. For a nanosecond I considered surrendering to her will.

  Appalled by my weakened state, I reached back and grabbed the wrist of the wandering hand that had moved to trail my spine beneath my T-shirt and held it tightly in my grasp.

  Fury and bitterness ran through me that she felt so confident as to pull such a sneaky move.

  “What do you think you’re doing, Tricia? What the fuck is this?”

  “I couldn’t miss my chance to talk to you. Please can we meet sometime?” she whispered, her comment validating the way I reacted toward her had never been one-sided.

  “Sorry,” I replied, fighting the palpable tension between us, and shook my head, “you’ve got the wrong man this time.” Grabbing her other hand as it reached for the side of my face, I pulled it down and placed both arms by her sides.”

  “I can see how you look at me,” she told me, her voice gruff as she spoke with her eyes on my mouth. “We both know what we felt.” Despite my verbal refusal, I hated how my painfully hard she made my dick feel.

  An infusion of bitterness sat on my chest like a lead weight, angry that she would do this to me when we were with other people. I leaned in closer, gritting my teeth, my frustration to the way she affected me in conflict with how I knew I had to respond.

  “You want me to fuck you, is that it? A sordid quickie… right here with everyone waiting outside? Would that be enough to take the edge off for a while, Tricia?” I was incensed she had made such a dick move and left me to react. “Thanks, but no thanks. What we did in the past meant nothing to you; so don’t try fucking with my head, because I’m here with someone else. Now, if you’ll excuse me, my girl is waiting for me.”

  Once she met my resistance, Tricia’s confidence spilled over to arrogance when she became frustrated, I wouldn’t bite. “How do you know that’s all I wanted? What did you want from us? Are you really serious about her? I felt what happened today, saw how hard you were earlier… how hard you are now,” she confessed, quietly.

  Her eyes dropped to my lips, and for a second, I thought she was going to kiss me, but she didn’t. This is wrong. There was no way I wanted to fuck up what I had with Juliette.

  “Maybe you do make me hard, but so does a talented stripper. Let me assure you my reaction is very temporary. Leave me alone, I don’t want to do this… you’re not what I want.”

  “No?” she questioned with a cocked brow that told me she knew my words and feelings were at odds. Being near her filled me with lust and it drained me. She scoffed, challenging my response. I hadn’t ever expected to look into those eyes again, yet watching them as they searched my face, her pupils blown wide with desire, almost weakened my resolve.

  “Seeing you earlier made me think for a moment we had unfinished business. However, I’m with Juliette now and we’re happy, which makes it much easier to resist you. Fuck buddies are a thing of my past, no matter how good they were in bed.”

  Hurt flashed in her eyes and my heart squeezed tight because my lying words curdled in my stomach. I had no wish to hurt her, but I knew I was treading on dangerous ground. I craved the woman in front of me, but I had lust-filled feelings for her and I loved another. Realizing I still had hold of her wrists, I dropped them quickly and tried to step around her. Undeterred by my attempt to escape, she pushed her body into mine again, pinning me to the door.

  “Do you remember how we felt we were together?”

  “I’d be a liar if I said otherwise, but don’t flatter yourself, I’ve had plenty of great sex before—and since—if I’m making comparisons. But the way you treated me on those few occasions when I was with you… no other woman has ever discarded me in quite the same way as you did.

  For a second I saw a flash of uncertainty or hurt or something else, before she snickered. “I’m asking again is that girl really what you want?” she challenged, pointing in the direction of the yard where Juliette was waiting. I gave a mock hesitation, like I was considering her comment and a smirk came over her face.

  “She? Oh, you mean my beautiful partner, Juliette?” I nodded affirmative and stared into her eyes while my body tightened in anger. “Yeah, actually she is. I wouldn’t have asked her to move in with me if she wasn’t what I wanted.”

  Tricia looked horrified by my news, and I backed up my statement when I placed my hands on her shoulders and gently moved her aside. Turning, I grabbed the handle and opened the door before I glanced back over my shoulder. Her gaze had liquified and tears shone in her eyes, but I couldn’t take back what I’d said.

  “Oh… and I’m calling for a little respect for my personal boundaries on her behalf, in the future. I’m sure there are plenty of guys who’d be happy to meet your sexual needs, much like the guy out there waiting for you.” I tipped my chin in the direction I was heading.

  “James, wait, I had no idea you were living—”

  “We had an opportunity together, but for whatever reason you chose to blow me off. I’m the kind of man who learns from life’s mistakes. Seeing you today took me by surprise and knocked me off kilter for a while, but this—you in here—stalking me when you know we’re both with other people …” I sighed, struggling for words. “Perhaps you only want what you know you can’t have.”

  Leaving the door open wide I strode away and headed back toward Juliette, my head down, thumbs already engaging the Uber app on my cell phone keypad. From how I ached inside, I knew there were still strong feelings there. Taking a stand had been a tough, but I had to do what I felt was right for myself and my girl, Juliette.

  As I walked away, a pain grew in my chest because no matter how much I loved Juliette, no one else had ever made me feel the sexual chemistry I had with Tri
cia. Chemistry that had been strong enough to paralyze me when I saw her again. Even as I denied my feelings, there was a small part of me that knew, had I not been with Juliette, and we’d met under different circumstances, I’d have ended up in her bed.

  That thought sat on my chest like a heavy boulder, my heart didn’t want it, but it felt too suffocating to be ignored either.

  Both Sawyer and Hammer were talking with Juliette when I made it back to my seat. “The Uber is ten minutes out, sweetheart,” I said somewhat abruptly, interrupting their flow of conversation and gaining the eyes of Sawyer and his friend immediately on me. Sawyer raised a brow, but I ignored his silent question. “Do you want me to grab your jacket?” I asked and turned my focus on my girl.

  “I’ll get it,” Hammer offered and stood, pulling the waistband of his jeans back into place.

  “Let me come with you,” Juliette offered. “I need to visit the powder room before the car comes.” Smiling, she shook her head and gave us a small chuckle. “All that beer… I don’t want an accident on the way home,” she joked. As she began to walk, Hammer stepped into line with her and they strolled back toward the house.

  “Did I see what I thought I did a few minutes ago?” my brother snapped. His tone was cutting.

  “What would that be?” I asked, scowling at Sawyer.

  “Tricia and you in the bathroom?”

  My mind instantly raked over the coals at the heart of the one thing I knew I could never take back as far as we were concerned. Did a part of him still doubt me about what happened with Charlotte?

  “It wasn’t what you think…”

  “No? You weren’t both in the bathroom for almost five minutes together?”

  “You want to go there?” I snapped. When he didn’t reply but held my weighted stare, I shook my head. “Leave it alone, Sawyer.”