Resist You (Unchained Attraction Book 3)

by K. L. Shandwick

  “Really? After all I did for you? Do you know the shame I faced calling my sister and begging her to help us?”

  “That’s right, Mom, because that whole devastating event was about you, wasn’t it? Oh, but thank fuck Aunt Lydia knew someone, who knew someone, because it allowed you to go about your life for the last thirty years relatively unscathed, right?” Tricia’s tone was a mixture of fury, personal agony and disbelief that after all this time her mom had made her daughter’s pregnancy personal to herself.

  “You should be thankful we gave you your life back.” The indignant tone Betty had in her voice made me shoot to my feet. My fists were balled tight and it had taken all my restraint not to go into the sitting room and throw her out of the apartment.

  “You gave me my life back?” Tricia scoffed and groaned so deep I felt it resonate in my chest. “Mom, the way you handled me being pregnant destroyed me. I’ve been living in hell for the past three decades, thanks to you.” I sat down again when Tricia sounded more in control.

  “It’s because of me you went to that fancy college and earned your fortune. I’d have liked to have seen you try to do that with a baby to care for.”

  “I went to that fancy college to get away from you and your unique brand of poison. I worked damned hard to get out of our home, and then harder again to ensure I never had to go back and live under your roof. In fact, I was fanatical about making money because every dollar I earned meant less chance I’d ever have to ask for your help… I mean look where it got me the last time I came to you. Mom, if I were dying, I’d rather trust a stranger in the street before I’d trust you to make a life-changing decision for me ever again.”

  “Now, Patty, you obviously have a very skewed view and don’t recall the dreadful situation we were in. You were sixteen years old, and you went and got yourself pregnant. Perhaps if you’d kept your legs closed, we wouldn’t—”

  “Huh? Shut. The. Fuck. Up.” My feet hit the floor and my hand was on the handle of the door but when Betty stopped talking, I waited. My heartbeat raced and my lips tingled until I exhaled, and I realized I’d held my breath when her mom tore her up. “I made a terrible decision when I slept with that boy. I was a teenage girl who lost her virginity and got pregnant. It was devastating, Mom. I was scared like you wouldn’t believe. What happened next after that, under your care, was more traumatic than the pregnancy itself.”

  “Now wait a minute—” Betty began.

  “No, you wait. It’s my turn now. I’ve asked you here today because I need answers to some questions I still have about that awful time in my life. I’ve been in therapy for a while and I’ve reached the point where I won’t ignore my feelings anymore. This isn’t about you, Mom; it’s about me, and a traumatic event I suffered that was completely brushed aside. You cared what people thought about your reputation more than you cared about my feelings.”

  “How do you think James will react to this when you tell him? Do you think he’ll look at you the same?”

  Tricia scoffed in the face of her mom’s stinging words. “Actually, if I’m honest, I was petrified of how James would see me. He’s my world and I’ve never loved any man the way I love him. If I lost him it would crush me. But… you know what? He already knows, and I think he loves me more for my honesty.”

  “You told him?” Betty’s cutting tone was an octave higher and I heard her distress at someone else knowing.

  “Absolutely. He knows what I know. You see, James doesn’t have children and as you instructed me to give mine away, I’ve never thought I deserved to be a mom, for letting you do that to me. But I had no say about that at sixteen. My thoughts and feelings were yours because you never asked me what I thought or how I felt or even reasoned with me why it would be better for my child to be brought up by someone else. It was James who gave me the courage to face my past and feel I wasn’t entirely to blame for how this turned out.”

  “What do you want me to say, Patty? What’s done is done. You have your life and that baby has had hers. Life is full of imperfections. Why would you go dredging all of this up now? James can give you a second chance. There are certain procedures these days for women your age—”

  “I was sterilized, Mom. Personal choice, that’s what this did to me. If I couldn’t have my baby, I didn’t want another. What I need to know is what happened with the adoption.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I deserve to know what happened to my child… your grandchild.”

  “I don’t know what happened. Lydia took us to that birthing facility for girls who had children for adoption. That’s all I know. After the child was born, it was taken to the parents and we signed the baby into their care.”

  “What were their names?”

  “There were no names on the documentation, only yours and mine. We signed the papers and the nurse and doctor in the room witnessed them, and then we were done.

  “Where are the papers now, there must be copies?”

  “I couldn’t have those lying around for someone to find. I threw them in the open log fire when we arrived home.”

  “You did what? Didn’t you think we may have this out at some point? That I’d want to know those details? What was the name of the organization you dealt with?”

  “Good grief, Patty. That was thirty years ago, how could I be expected to remember that?”

  “How could you be expected to remember?” Tricia’s voice sounded almost hysterical. “How could you not remember every detail of signing away the parental responsibility for your granddaughter? I had an excuse, Mom, I was young and ill.” I heard the anguish and exasperation in Tricia’s broken voice as emotion clogged her throat.

  “You almost died after having that child, why would you want to remember? And what good would this do? You had better get a handle on this and contain it, Patty. Your father isn’t a young man anymore. If he ever got wind of this, it would kill him.”

  “Funny that you should turn this back on me again. What would kill him, Mom, me getting pregnant, or you arranging to have his grandchild adopted and hiding that fact for thirty years? Who do you think he’d be most angry with? Which of those two situations would kill him?”

  “Look, I’m sorry—” Betty began.

  “Are you? Jesus, Mom. Thirty years I’ve waited for those words to come out of your mouth, but I’d envisioned them heartfelt and with much more sincerity than they sounded. But what is clear to me is you never gave a damn about what happened to my baby or the burden I’ve carried since then. I need to tell you if it hadn’t been for Dad, you’d never have seen me again.”

  “He must never find out, promise me,” she pleaded.

  “Sorry, Mom, I can’t make promises I can’t keep, but I’m giving you the opportunity to tell him before I do. But believe me, this is going to come out… Marnie needs to know too. Then what will you do? Do you know why they need to know?”

  “Don’t—”

  “Don’t what? The wheels are already in motion Mom, and Karma’s a bitch. My child is looking for me. She hasn’t found me yet, but I believe she’s found Marnie—Fuck. James, get in here.” I bolted into the sitting room and found Betty passed out on the couch.

  “Oh, dear God, I’ve killed her,” Tricia shrieked, clutching her hair in her hands with a haunted look in her wide, shocked eyes. I dropped down by the couch and felt for a pulse on Betty’s wrinkled neck. Relief washed through me when I found a slow steady rhythm.

  “She’ll be fine, she’s passed out, but I can’t say she didn’t have what you said coming,” I mumbled, sounding unsympathetic toward Betty as I tended to her and rolled her onto her side.

  “That didn’t give me pleasure, James,” Tricia confessed. When I looked up, worry etched her beautiful face and clouded her eyes. I must have looked heartless to Tricia, but the only feelings I had cared about in that moment were Tricia’s.

  “It wasn’t much fun for her either,” I remarked dryly. “Get her a glass of water, she’s a tough
old bird, she’s not going to die, but I think when she wakes up and remembers the ass drilling you gave her, she’ll wish that she had.” Tricia grimaced at my comment, and despite all she’d been through I saw love and hate, a truly tortured soul, with the look she gave her mom.

  When Betty came round, she looked horrified the second she saw me. “I’m fine,” she said shakily, trying to sit up but had needed support to sit straight.

  “Patty, you had no need to call, James,” she remarked. I chuckled because of how fucked-up, as well as stuck-up her mom behaved. Even after a faint she had still been hell-bent on impressing someone.

  “I’ve been here all along,” I told her, “in the bedroom.” I nodded at the bedroom door and the look of horror on her face would have been laughable, except for the fact she was a woman in her mid-seventies, and she was still Tricia’s mom. If anything had happened to Betty, I felt Tricia would never have forgiven herself.

  Unlike her daughter, Betty recovered much quicker from her faint. That fact alone told me her depth of feeling for Tricia’s plight was barely skin-deep. With both women sitting quietly, I poured us all a stiff drink; a vodka, lime, and ice for Tricia, a cream sherry for her mom, and a single malt whiskey for myself.

  Betty looked mortified I had put her on the spot by my presence, but since she knew I’d heard everything they had said, I had a few things to say for myself.

  My fingers itched to sit close to Tricia to hug away some of her pain, but had I done so I felt it may have weakened her resolve, so I kept my hands to myself in order to help her stay strong. Strategy was key in negotiation my father had taught me. That, and to have a plan and work it in my favor. I also knew if the conversation were to progress, I had to be seen as an arbitrator, even if I was on Tricia’s side.

  “Betty, I think Tricia has been very brave in asking you here today.”

  Her mom bristled in her seat and folded her arms, defensively. “I just don’t see—”

  I held my hand up to stop her. “I’m doing the talking right now and I need you to listen. You can say what you want when I’m done, and Tricia has had her say. This way we’re all heard and all of our opinions matter.”

  Cocking her eyebrow, her eyes then narrowed as she stared me down and I saw how difficult she found it not to reply.

  “Having heard what you said, I believe you were ignorant as to how tortured your daughter has been for all these years. I’m also concerned that when she told you, you were dismissive of her feelings. People’s perceptions shouldn’t matter in family situations… they don’t matter, Betty. I believe you fainted when you were touched by the thought your husband, Tricia’s father, may find out about the skeleton in your closet, not because of any distress for Tricia’s plight back then. What you don’t know is your daughter passed out just telling me her secret. Contrary to how you thought I may react to Tricia’s confession, Betty, I adore your daughter for all her flaws. I am very proud of her for facing that traumatic time in her life. Talking aloud is the first step to finding some peace in the shame of it all.”

  “It was traumatic for me, too. I had—” I held my hand up again.

  “My turn,” I said sternly, but with a gentle smile to soften the blow of shutting her up. It was clear she’d been used to taking more than her turn, but I felt determined to show Betty she wasn’t the important party in this situation.

  “Let me fill you in on where we are now, Betty, because what happens next will be up to you. Like we’ve both said, Tricia has been working through a lot of trauma from that time in her life. However, a turn of events has made this matter more pressing after something Marnie told us at your home the other day. You see, sometimes people think if they can control events, they can avert catastrophes.”

  “That’s what I did for Patty, her life would have been horrible as a teenage mom.”

  “You’ll have your turn in a moment, Betty, I’m nearly finished. What I wanted to tell you is from my personal experience in such matters. Controlling people are the most dangerous kind, because no matter how clever they think they have been, the truth eventually finds its way home. All actions have consequences and those that are historic in nature are generally the ones that carry the messiest outcomes. For example, think of a rolling snowball at the top of a snow-covered mountain, the longer it rolls the bigger it gets. I fear in this case that’s exactly what has occurred for all of you, thanks to Franco’s innocent DNA test. You see, although Franco hasn’t found the elusive relatives he seeks, when Marnie supported her husband by having a DNA test herself, hers turned up an unexpected find. Are you aware Marnie has been contacted by her maternal niece? Let me clarify that again for you, Betty, a girl has contacted Marnie who is a match, and we think that girl is Tricia’s daughter—your granddaughter.”

  Betty covered her face with her hands, and in an unexpected move she cried. Tricia rushed over and comforted her. In my opinion she was the last person who should have offered Betty support. Grabbing some tissues, I passed them to Tricia, who wiped her mom’s tear-filled eyes. It was a sight I couldn’t bear to watch because the compassion Tricia had shown her made my whole body feel tight in anger. To me it was Tricia’s life that should have mattered and even in such a difficult confrontation, Betty had still stolen the limelight.

  “Is there something else you’d like to say, Tricia?” She shook her head and I turned my attention back to her mom.

  “It’s your turn now,” I prompted Betty. I knew I sounded cold-hearted in view of the old woman’s tears. I had meant to sound that way. I had hoped my sharp tone would have prompted a breakthrough moment from her emotional state, perhaps a genuine realization and acknowledgement for the pain Tricia had suffered.

  “What is Lester going to say?” Betty’s effort to protect their family name at the expense of Tricia’s mental health and reputation had been on the verge of imploding. Yet her focus continued to be directed toward someone else at the expense of Tricia. Despite witnessing that reaction, Tricia’s bravery and misplaced loyalty still shone through when she showed her mom grace when she cried. In my view, Betty had deserved none of that kindness Tricia showed her.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  “When will we have the results?” Tricia asked, trying to sound calm, but the anxiety came through in her tone.

  “Tomorrow evening at the latest. Erin provided another sample last night, it’s already at the lab for analysis.”

  “What time are you leaving?” she asked.

  Since Betty’s visit I’d spoken to Erin on the phone, but she still had no clue I knew more than I’d told her already. She had no idea about Tricia, because it was Tricia herself who had said she wouldn’t believe anyone was her child without documentary proof.

  Richard and his team at the vetting office had already established that Erin’s parents had registered Erin’s birth as their own, but in a deathbed confession from her adoptive mother, Erin had learned the truth around her birth. I knew there was a lot more to the story, but I had felt it necessary not to press further because I hadn’t wanted to raise her suspicions. I was sure once the DNA test confirmed who she was, we’d all know soon enough what the truth of the matter was.

  Erin had suggested a lunchtime meeting at Brookfield Place, a large plaza situated in The Battery, on the southern edge of Manhattan Island near where she worked. It was a very public place and I felt pleased she was looking out for her personal safety, despite her excitement at gathering information on her true heritage.

  The young woman had chosen to meet me at a Starbucks there and was already seated by the door when I entered. My breath hitched when her gorgeous bright eyes met mine.

  “Hi, I’m James,” I said, smiling when I recognized her instantly and approached her table. Erin immediately stood and I noted she was almost as tall as Tricia.

  “Great to meet you,” she said in a friendly tone, as her eyes roamed the length of me and gestured toward a chair opposite her. “Can I get you a coffee?”

  �
�Allow me,” I replied, not having sat down. “What’s your poison, cappuccino?” I asked, nodding at the large empty cup and saucer.

  She grinned. “I can see why you’re interested in helping me, quite the detective, aren’t you?” I grinned in return, noting she had her mom’s direct nature.

  I chuckled. “I guess,” I replied, feeling a little perturbed by the uncanny resemblance of the younger woman to mine.

  After organizing the coffees, I sat down across from her and she filled me in on a little of her background and how she’d found out through her father’s illness she wasn’t his natural child.

  “That must have been devastating for you.”

  “It was, and for years I’d believed my mom when she’d told me she’d had an affair and the father was dead. However, that wasn’t true either. I didn’t think I could be shocked anymore until she told me on her deathbed I’d been adopted, and I wasn’t hers either.”

  “Oh, my, God, how horrible for you.” I sat stunned by her admission and tried to absorb that new revelation. I wondered how Tricia might react to that when they met and she learned Erin’s side of the story. There was no way I would have taken that away from either woman by passing on what Erin had told me. Their journey of discovery had to be between them, not some secondhand account from me.

  Richard had told Erin they had a possible match for the information they’d found, but the woman in question wanted documentary proof before coming forward. Erin readily agreed to another DNA test as a possible match when Richard had suggested this to her.

  “Do you know anything about this woman?” Erin probed, as she looked at me with the same level of intensity her mom had when she questioned me.

  “Just that she’s the correct age, from New Jersey, and she had a female child on the same day as you were born, here in New York. She’s a career woman. A college graduate, and she’s single but in a relationship.”