Bighearted Cowboy (Tarnation, Texas Book 5)

by Rhonda Lee Carver

  He was late.

  She checked her phone again for missed messages or calls and found nothing. It wasn’t like Brennan not to show up.

  Calling Betty Sue’s number, it rang four times and then voice mail picked up. “Where are you, Betty Sue? You’re supposed to be here at the courthouse as a witness. Brennan isn’t here either. Did something happen?”

  Clicking end, she looked up and down the sidewalk. Her stomach twisted as she feared something bad must have happened. She and Brennan had decided to get married in front of the Justice of Peace. This was supposed to be their wedding day. The beginning of a new life.

  She looked down at the sparkling diamond on her fourth finger. Since he’d given it to her yesterday, she had to keep looking at it to make sure she wasn’t dreaming.

  “Charlotte?”

  Hearing Brennan’s voice, she smiled and met him on the sidewalk. “You made it!” Her smile fizzled. He was wearing a work shirt and jeans and he looked like he hadn’t slept in a while. “I was starting to get worried.” She started to kiss him when she noticed his frown. She stopped and pulled back. “What’s wrong?”

  “Do you really need to ask?” He had dark circles under his eyes.

  “Yes, I do. Did something happen?” She clenched her fingers around the stems of the tulips.

  “I visited Pastor and Raina Calvin last night.”

  She shrugged. The names didn’t ring a bell. “Do I know them?”

  “No, but Betty Sue does,” he said lowly.

  “Okay, I don’t know what’s going on. If we don’t get into the courthouse within five minutes, we will have missed our opportunity.”

  “Opportunity is the perfect word to describe this situation.”

  His cold glare burrowed into her. “If you’ve changed your mind—”

  “You could say that. I debated whether I should come today at all. After all, I don’t owe you anything, but I decided I needed an explanation. Why, Charlotte? Why weren’t you honest?”

  She blinked. “I have no clue what you’re talking about.”

  “It’s okay. The gig is up. Betty Sue admitted it all. You almost had me.”

  She dropped her arms to her sides. The flowers fell against her thigh. “You’re starting to upset me, Brennan.”

  “Really? Am I? Well, then we’re on the same page. I should have known it was too good to be true that you’d show up in time for me to put a ring on your finger.”

  Tears filed her eyes. “Brennan—”

  “I don’t want to hear it. I shouldn’t have come. You don’t deserve to explain anything. Was the breast cancer scare a lie too?”

  Hurt deeply, she swallowed the pain. She had no clue what changed between yesterday and today. Whatever happened she no longer cared. Anyone who’d accuse her of lying about her condition didn’t deserve her time. She slipped off the ring and tossed the diamond at his chest. He didn’t bother catching it. “Whatever it is that you think I’ve done I hope you’ll realize you’re an ass when you find out the truth. Unfortunately, anyone who can think of me in such a way would not be welcome in my life. Goodbye, Brennan.” She dropped the flowers at his feet, not caring that they’d conjured a crowd around them. She couldn’t focus on anything but getting away as fast as she could.

  CHAPTER THIRTY

  Brennan peered into the sky. Orange and red color streaked the blue.

  Two weeks had passed since he’d last seen Charlotte. He’d heard that she’d left Tarnation. It was for the best even if it hurt.

  Sitting down on the bale of hay, he stretched his legs. Since they’d learned about Buzz’s deceit, and the new will had been read, Brennan had stayed at Grinning Spurs until he could figure out what he wanted to do. He and his brothers were trying to figure out everything, what properties they’d keep and what they needed to liquidate. Who would stay in Tarnation and who would leave?

  The Calvins dropped by a few days ago and wanted to speak to him. They’d been worried about how upset he’d been the day he spoke to them.

  He’d been keeping busy out on Melba’s farm. His first thought when he bought the property, he would fix it up and sell it, but the longer he was out there he had a few other ideas. He wanted to make it a home for Hope-to-Well-Horse. They could save more horses and he had a feeling Melba would like the idea.

  He’d been searching for Haleigh, and eventually he did find her. Just like she said, if a person searched hard enough, they could find anything. Although she needed to lose the attitude, he gave her a job opportunity. To help take care of the horses that would be at Horse-to-Well-Horse. He couldn’t think of a better person and maybe in the long run she’d let go some of the anger.

  Pulling the white envelope from his jacket pocket, he stared down at the opened letter. His chest tightened and he felt sick.

  Sliding his finger under the flap, he took out the letter he’d read at least a dozen times.

  Brennan,

  By the time you read this I’ll be gone. I know you’ll never understand why I left you and your brother. I’m not asking for forgiveness, but I hope the last gift I can offer is the best advice that I have to give. Find happiness. Find joy. Be the man I never could be. Give love a chance. Be willing to jump the necessary hurdles. Be vulnerable. Don’t make the mistakes I’ve made.

  Dolly is yours. She was a mighty fine mare. I know you’ll love her as I did.

  Take care,

  Buzz

  Hearing the rustling of hay, he looked up and saw Betty Sue standing in the doorway. “Go away!” He folded the letter and pushed it back into the envelope then stood.

  “I need to speak to you.” She took several steps inside, her hands were clasped and she looked pale.

  “There’s nothing to say,” he grumbled.

  “If you love Charlotte, and I think you do, then you need to listen.”

  He couldn’t deny her words. He did love Charlotte and he doubted the feelings would go away. “I’m busy. Leave.” He strolled passed her and outside.

  “I’m going to keep bothering you until you listen to what I have to say.”

  Turning, he said, “You have five minutes.”

  “I didn’t con you, and neither did Charlotte. Yes, I did hope that she and you would fall for each other. She deserves love and I thought you could offer her the world.”

  “How can I believe you?” Pain rushed through his body. This had become a twisted mess. “All the time that you knew Buzz was alive, why didn’t you say something?”

  She wrapped her arms around her waist. “He didn’t want to see you. Any of you. I’m sorry. I know that hurts but it’s the truth. I saw a chance of getting a step ahead. Buzz was rich, and he owned everything in this town. I know you’d never understand—”

  “No, I don’t and never will.” He swept off his hat and rubbed his forehead, feeling a headache coming on.

  “Don’t take your anger out on Charlotte. You know she hasn’t done anything wrong. Look inside your heart. I believe you understand the truth. Don’t forgive me, but she’s innocent and she shouldn’t have to pay for my sins.”

  “Your time is up. Leave Grinning Spurs.” He turned and headed up to the house. With each step he felt more weighed down. The memories of Charlotte flooded his head. Her beautiful smile. Her love for chocolate. Her compassion for everyone. How she’d come alive in the saddle. The endearment he saw in her expression when she listened to Melba speak. How sincere and concerned she was when she took care of Lacey.

  He reached the porch to the house and leaned against the beam, slumping his shoulders.

  In his anger he had said a few rotten things to her. Shame filled his bloodstream. How could he have suggested that she had made up her condition? He saw the scars, saw the pain in her expression when she talked about that time of her life. He wasn’t like his father, but in that moment, he had sunk deeper—so deep that he felt like he was in Hell. He’d never forgive himself for the pain he’d caused Charlotte.

  She’d nev
er forgive him either.

  He needed to forget…

  Then he realized he was doing exactly what Buzz had done to his sons. He gave up without trying…trying again and again until he convinced the ones he cared about that he could be there for them. Instead, Buzz had jumped from one mess to another. Leaving behind big mistakes—bigger and bigger. He’d locked himself in his own prison.

  Brennan didn’t want to be that same man.

  *

  “It’ll all be okay. You’ll get over him,” Bristol said.

  Charlotte sniffed back another round of tears. “If you say so.” She scooped up another spoonful of ice cream and shoved it into her mouth. She dropped some on her shirt and she didn’t even care.

  “Oh. Honey.” Bristol wiped the chocolate drop off Charlotte’s shirt with a napkin.

  “How could he think I had anything to do with Buzz’s plan? I never met the man.” Bristol plucked at the frayed hem on her shorts and didn’t say a word. “Why are you quiet?” Charlotte looked at her friend.

  “Well, sweetie, let’s face it. What Betty Sue and Buzz did to Brennan and his brothers sucks ass big time.”

  “Don’t you think I know that?” she moaned.

  “Yes, I do. From what you told me about Brennan he was kind. I know he said something painful to you and you’re hurt, but just as you are allowed your pain so is Brennan.”

  “Why didn’t he ask me what was the truth? I mean, I understand he didn’t want to marry me any longer because the stipulation was off the table, but I thought we were friends. I thought he cared for me.”

  “I’m sorry. You deserve love. Have you thought about speaking to him?”

  Charlotte swirled her spoon through the now soft ice cream. “I can’t. You should have seen his face. He hated me.”

  “I doubt he hates you.”

  “You didn’t see him. Hear the anger in his voice. It broke my heart.”

  “Well, you wouldn’t have a broken heart if you didn’t care for him. I don’t care how you got to Tarnation, no one implanted those feelings inside you. You can’t just let this go.”

  “I didn’t call it quits. He did. If he cared he could have had a conversation with me, and still he should have trusted me.” She sniffed back tears.

  “I have to get to work. If I’m late one more day I’m canned. Will you be okay? You won’t overdose on chocolate, will you?”

  For the first time in days Charlotte laughed. “I’ll be fine. I need to be by myself some. Hurry to work and call me later.”

  Bristol hugged her and kissed her on the cheek. “Although I hate what you’re going through, I’m glad you’re home. We’ll talk later.”

  The door closed and Charlotte got up to take the container of ice cream back to the freezer when she felt something at her leg, Bristol’s backward cat, Mouse, meowed and rubbed up against Charlotte. “Are you hungry?” She petted Mouse’s head then grabbed a can of moist food from the cabinet which gained a wiggle of tail in thank you.

  “Okay, Mouse. Can we be friends now?” The cat barely came out while Charlotte was around.

  A knock sounded on the door and Mouse darted down the hallway.

  “Oh my, Bristol. Did you forget your key? You’re going to be late and then we’ll both be unemployed.” Charlotte opened the door and almost swallowed her tongue. It wasn’t her friend standing on the other side. It was the focus of her pain over the last few weeks. “What are you doing here, Brennan? How did you know where I am?”

  “Betty Sue told me.” His hands were stuffed into his front pockets and he looked about as tired, if not more, since when she saw him last. “I took my chances.”

  “Then you’ve wasted your time.” She started to close the door, but he caught it.

  “Move your hand. There’s nothing for us to say.” Anger gurgled up inside of her, remembering what he’d said to her tore through her even now.

  “Please give me a minute. If after that time you still want me to leave I will. Without question.”

  The logical side of her screamed to send him packing, but another part of her, the side that still cared for him, ached for him to come inside and explain. “You better hurry because your time has already started.”

  “I’m sorry. I was hurt and angry when I realized Betty Sue was involved in the scheme with Buzz. I jumped to the wrong conclusion.”

  “That’s an understatement. Why did you even think I would do something like this?”

  “I’m at fault. I went about things the wrong way.”

  She sighed. “Surprise. Surprise. I felt like you didn’t care what the truth was. You wanted to condemn me from the beginning.”

  “I’ve fallen for you, Charlotte.”

  “I opened up to you and I never do that with anyone. I understand you were hurt, but that gave you no excuse to hurt me.”

  “Please accept my apology. I was an ass.”

  Her heart melted. “I can’t forget what has happened.”

  Several expressions flickered across his face. Hurt filled his eyes, turning them darker.

  “I deserve that. I just want you to know that I wish you well.” He dipped his hat, turned on his boots and left.

  She closed the door and leaned against it.

  I did the right thing.

  We barely know each other.

  We had some good times but that doesn’t mean forever.

  And yet, why did it feel like her heart was splitting in two? Like her world had been turned upside down.

  She had wanted to be with him. She cared for him.

  People made mistakes. Lord knew she made them often. How would she have acted in his position?

  Then the realization struck her. She wouldn’t see him ever again.

  And that’s not what she wanted.

  Flinging the door open, she raced out into the hall and to the elevator. She pushed the button, waiting anxiously. It was taking too long.

  Running for the stairs, she took them as fast as her feet would carry her.

  By the time she reached the lobby she was sweating and panting but it didn’t deter her. She didn’t find Brennan there, so she ran outside and glanced up and down the sidewalk.

  He was nowhere in sight.

  Her heart dropped into her toes. She bent over, catching her breath, and forcing back tears.

  “Charlotte?”

  She straightened and turned around. “Brennan? I thought you were gone.”

  “I just couldn’t drag myself to leave.”

  “Where’s your truck?” She looked up and down the street.

  “I don’t have it. I drove your car.”

  Breathing better now, she told him, “I want you to stay. Let’s talk. I want to hear about what’s going on back in Tarnation.”

  “Is that all?” The hurt expression was back.

  “No. I want to discuss us. Where we go from here.”

  He covered the space in three strides. “Here’s what you need to hear. I never thought it was possible in a short time, but I love you. I don’t know where we go, or how slow we need to go, but know this…I want my life to be with you.”

  Her chest filled with love. She reached for his hand and they headed for the building. “Can we live in Tarnation?”

  “I’m glad you ask. I think I’d like that.”

  “Thank goodness. I’ve never felt more at home anywhere.” They stepped into the lobby and into the elevator. The doors closed and she stepped against him, looking up at him.

  “I have something for you.” He reached into his pocket and took out something small. He lowered to one knee and opened his hand to show her the diamond ring sitting in his palm. “It doesn’t have to be tomorrow, or the next day, but will you be my wife?”

  “A million times yes!”

  Not the end but only the beginning…

  From the author:

  Thank you for reading. Please leave a review and let others know your thoughts.

  Check out the entire selection of books by
me… http://www.amazon.com/Rhonda-Lee-Carver/e/B00CQLXKTO/ref=sr_tc_2_0?qid=1456497552&sr=1-2-ent

  Hugs,

  Rhonda Lee Carver

  At an early age, Rhonda fell in love with romance novels, knowing one day she’d write her own love story. Life took a short detour, but when the story ideas were no longer contained, she decided to dive in and write. Her first plot was on a dirty napkin she found buried in her car. Eventually, she ran out of napkins. With baby on one hip and laptop on the other, she made a dream into reality—one word at a time.

  Her specialty is men who love to get their hands dirty and women who are smart, strong and flawed. She loves writing about the everyday hero.

  When Rhonda isn't crafting sizzling manuscripts, you will find her busy editing novels, blogging, juggling kids and animals (too many to name), dreaming of a beach house and keeping romance alive. Oh, and drinking lots of coffee to keep up with her hero and heroine.

  For other titles by Rhonda Lee Carver, please visit: www.rhondaleecarver.com.

  Find me on Facebook, too! www.facebook.com/rhondalee.carver

  Other books by Rhonda Lee Carver

  Rhonda Lee Carver Books by Series

  Tarnation, Texas Series

  Hitched (Book 1)

  The Cowboy's Son (Book 2)

  Pour Me a Drink (Book 3)

  Cowboy State of Mind (Book 4)

  Big Hearted Cowboy (Book 5)

  Mountain Force Series

  Justice by the Lawman (Book 1)

  Secured by the Lawman (Book 2)

  Tormented by the Lawman (Book 3)

  Lawmen of Wyoming Series

  Protected by the Lawman (Book 1)

  Wanted by the Lawman (Book 2)

  Seized by the Lawman (Book 3)