Doctor Jones' Picnic
Page 9
CHAPTER VII.
A Gunpowder Tea-party.
Nothing could be completer nor daintier than the cabin and itsfurnishings, divisions, and subdivisions. The rooms of necessity weresmall, but sufficiently large for convenience and comfort. A choiceselection of best authors had been added by the Doctor. Mr. Will Marsh,the architect, had not forgotten a painting, sketching, andphotographing outfit. Professor Fred Marsh had brought a good supply ofvocal and instrumental music, and a small aluminum organ of exquisitetone and splendid volume. Professor Gray, as a matter of course, wasabundantly supplied with books, charts, instruments, etc. The ladies didnot forget to bring knitting, crochet, and sewing work with them. "Forwe cannot be continually craning our necks out of our little nest,sightseeing," said Mrs. Jones.
"And then I suppose that we shall be above the clouds a good share ofthe time, with nothing but a fog bank to look at," added Mattie.
Dr. Jones carried a plentiful supply of drugs and instruments. "I havenot given up practice," said he. "There is no telling how many patientsI may encounter outside of our little crowd, before we return."
But we cannot stop to enumerate all the conveniences and appurtenancesof the wonderful sky-ship, now hastening toward its destination. More ofthat later on.
Washington and its crowds of excited people were fast disappearing inthe distance. To say that no fear was experienced upon the part of anyof the company would not be strictly true. The ladies were pale andsilent, and stood with their arms about each other. Very little was saidby any one, for the sensation of skimming through the air at the rate ofmore than twenty miles an hour at this elevation was too novel andthrilling to admit of conversation. All experienced more or less ofvertigo and nausea, but the Doctor promptly controlled thesedisagreeable symptoms with medicines from his case. All stood at theirpost for something near an hour, Sing excepted. He was rattling aboutamong his pots, pans, and kettles as unconcernedly as if in the bestappointed kitchen in Washington. Finally a general conversation wasentered into as the first qualms of fear and sickness began to wear off.
"I am delighted with the performance of our ship," said Will. (We shalltake the liberty of using the given names of the two brothers hereafter,Will and Fred.)
"Yes," returned the Doctor, "how easily and smoothly we are going. Whenone looks inside, it is hard to realize that we are flying at the rateof nearly thirty miles an hour through the air, three thousand feetabove the earth."
"And notice how steadily we are moving. Not a tremor nor movement of anysort appreciable. How decidedly superior to car or steamboat traveling.Here we have no jar, noise, nor dust," continued Will.
"Nor any kind of danger of shipwreck or collision," added ProfessorGray.
"Well, I'm sure that we are a peculiarly favored lot of travelers," saidFred, turning to the organ and playing "Away with Melancholy," withgreat spirit.
"How does the temperature in the globe keep up?" asked the Professor ofWill.
"I am astonished, Professor," he replied, "it has scarcely varied adegree since starting, now two hours, and we are burning no fuel at allat present."
"That is truly wonderful," answered the Professor. "At this rate we arenot likely to run out of fuel."
"No," said Will, "we are safe on that score."
The Doctor and Will now ascended to the observatory. Professor Gray andDenison sat beside the ladies upon the balcony. Each was studying thetopography of the country with the aid of their field glasses.
"See the people everywhere and all waving their handkerchiefs at us,"exclaimed Mattie.
"How distinctly we can see their white upturned faces, and how they doshout," remarked Mrs. Jones.
"I can see photographers catching snap shots at us," said Denison.
"I dare say that the telegraph and telephone wires are being kept busyover us," said Fred, who had just joined the group.
"Not a doubt of it," answered the Professor, "not only in America, butall over Christendom."
Dr. Jones and Will now returned from their aerie, the observatory.
"Whew!" exclaimed the Doctor; "if that isn't exercise for you!"
"What is the temperature now?" asked the Professor.
"One hundred and thirty degrees," replied Will. "It has cooled off a fewdegrees."
"Yes, we have descended to the twenty-five hundred foot level," remarkedthe Professor, after consulting the barometer.
"She will skim along many hours before we need to fire up," returnedWill.
"And how is the view from the observatory?" inquired Denison of theDoctor.
"That is the sight of a lifetime," cried Dr. Jones. "Language is utterlyinadequate to describe it. With the vast, unobstructed view on allsides, far as the eye can reach, the great glistening rotund sides ofthe globe rolling away from beneath your feet, giving one a sensation asif about to slide off into the awful chasm below, I assure you that itis something fearful. But I cast my eye up the shining mast and saw thestars and stripes floating there so calmly and serenely, and Iremembered our glorious mission, and instantly I felt the EverlastingArms about me. I realized as never before in my life, the utterlittleness of man, and the almightiness of God. Here, floating thousandsof feet above the earth, we can rest just as implicitly on His promisesas we ever did in our lives."
These words were said by the Doctor with so much earnestness andsolemnity that a hush fell upon the company for a few moments. Then Mrs.Jones sat at the organ and began singing in a low, sweet voice, KelsoCarter's splendid hymn:
"Standing on the promises of Christ my King, Through eternal ages let his praises ring; Glory in the highest, I can shout and sing, Standing on the promises of God."
Every one of the seven were trained vocalists, and, very happily for thepleasure of the company, the four parts were so nicely balanced thattheir voices blended in sweetest harmony. The Doctor and Will andDenison sang bass; Fred and Professor Gray tenor, Mattie alto, and Mrs.Jones soprano. Mattie possessed an exceedingly rich contralto, whileMrs. Jones' soprano was strong, sweet, and clear as a bird's. They alljoined in the chorus, and when the hymn was finished, Ah Sing, who stoodin the doorway with his white cap and apron on, encored loudly.
"Velly good. Me heap likee," was his verdict.
"It takes the 'Children of the Skies' to sing that hymn!" cried Denison.
"Hear! Hear!" said Mrs. Jones, clapping her hands. "Isn't that poeticand appropriate? The Children of the Skies! That was an inspiration onyour part, Mr. Denison."
Several more pieces were sung, and the newness of their position beganto wear off toward evening. After this the rooms were assigned to eachby the Doctor, who was by common consent, recognized as captain of theship. Himself and wife occupied the largest of the sleeping apartments,a beautiful bedroom, twelve feet square. How pure, sweet, and clean theyall were! The ceilings, walls, floors, and furniture, all of thatmarvelous metal, aluminum. Rugs laid about as required were the onlycovering upon the floors. At six o'clock, Sing announced dinner. As theyrepaired to the dining-room and sat in the dainty aluminum chairs aboutthe aluminum table, set with a complete service of the same metal, theycould not repress their expressions of delight. They sat with bowedheads while Dr. Jones invoked the Divine blessing upon the food of whichthey were about to partake, and asked His special protection and careduring the unknown perils before them. As the meal progressed, they grewquite talkative and merry.
"This is high living in more senses than one," remarked Fred as hefinished a plate of soup.
"Yes," returned Mrs. Jones, "we have picked up a jewel of a cook."
"How are you getting along, girls?" cried the genial Doctor, from thelower end of the table where he sat carving the meat.
"Just splendidly, Doctor," replied Mattie, gaily. "Your picnic isturning out to be a grander success than you ever could have dreamedof."
"I don't know," he returned as his eye swept about the room and out ofthe window. "I had my ideas up pretty high, but I must admit that thisrather exceeds my highe
st flights of imagination."
"My ideal of pleasure, so far as eating goes, used to be that of sittingin a Pullman dining-car, flying at the rate of forty miles an hour ormore. I have spent an hour at such a table more than once, looking outof the great windows as I ate, and thought I knew all about it. But ah!I had never dined with the 'Children of the Skies,'" said Will.
And so they pleasantly chatted through the meal. Mrs. Jones, who sat atthe other end of the table, poured the tea.
"It may be imagination, but everything seems to taste better than commonaboard this ship," said Professor Gray. "Now, this tea is remarkablyfragrant and delicious. It is a beverage that I do not as a rule caremuch for. What particular variety of tea is it?"
"It is the very best quality of Ceylon. I have forbidden the use of anyother kind by my patients. The Ceylon tea possesses little or no tannicacid, and is not nearly so deleterious to weak stomachs as othervarieties. Speaking of teas, I suppose that you have all heard of onebrand of tea called 'Gunpowder.' I could tell you a very good storyabout Gunpowder tea if you wish to hear it."
A general desire being expressed to hear it, the Doctor began:
"My maternal grandfather left New York state and moved to the vicinityof Cleveland, Ohio, in 1830. Cleveland at that time was a small,unimportant lakeport and my grandfather was offered his choice between atract of land upon what is now the most beautiful residence street inthe world, Euclid Avenue, and a piece at what was called Brighton,several miles farther from town. It speaks but little for the oldgentleman's foresight, but he chose the latter, and so remained acomparatively poor man all his life, instead of becoming a millionaire.But, by dint of hard work, grandfather prospered as well as hisneighbors, and was content. In course of time, a hired man became anecessary fixture upon the farm, and for many years Pete Wiggs, anhonest, hardworking German, was grandfather's right-hand man. But Pete,jewel of a farmhand though he was, possessed one serious flaw: he_would_ have a periodical spree. But, so considerate was he, that healways chose a time for his sprees when 'Dere really vos notting else todo, Uncle Ezra,' as he assured my grandfather by way of extenuation. Soit became an understood arrangement that Pete was to be allowed, andexpected to have, a 'blowout' every spring and fall. One spring day, thecrops being all in, Pete began making arrangements for one of hissemi-annuals. 'Now, Pete,' said my grandmother, 'before you get drunk, Iwant you to be sure and not forget to buy me a pound of the new tea Ihave heard of. They call it 'Gunpowder tea.' Now attend to this for mebefore you get to drinking.
'All right, Aunt Lois, so I vill,' replied Pete.
Four or five days later, Pete returned as usual, semi-intoxicated, andlooking very much the worse for wear.
'Give me dish, Aunt Loish, and I gif you dot Gunpowder dee. Paper prokein mine bocket.'
So out of his coat pocket he began to fish great handfuls of tea leaves,and a fine, black, granular substance. Grandmother looked at the strangemixture critically, and concluded that the reason the tea was so calledwas because part of it so much resembled gunpowder. So she thanked thethoughtful Dutchman most kindly, and set it away carefully. A fewevenings later she invited a number of her neighbors, old cronies, todrink Gunpowder tea with her. None of them had ever seen the new varietyof tea, and all were there, expecting a very great treat indeed.
It was soon poured out and upon the table. Grandmother noticed that itscolor was black as ink, and she felt a thrill of anxiety run down herspinal column as she poured it into the cups. Aunt Joanna, mygrandmother's sister, was the oracle of the settlement on socialmatters, and by tacit consent, all awaited until she had first tastedthe new beverage. Each felt that a great event was at hand, and the fateof Gunpowder tea was about to be settled, once and forever, in thatsettlement. So Aunt Joanna, fully alive to a sense of her position andresponsibility, with great deliberation took a generous sip of thecandidate for social favor. Her eyes filled with tears; she coughedfuriously behind her handkerchief, and a spasm of disgust and nauseawent to her very toes. Then she sat straight, grim, and silent asdeath. Each of the other old ladies went through about the same motions.And now grandmother, who had been puttering about, waiting upon herguests, noticed that something was wrong.
'Well, Joan, how do you like Gunpowder tea?'
'Taste it, Lois,' was all Aunt Joan would condescend to reply. Shecomplied, taking quite a generous swallow.
'Oh! my stars!' she fairly screamed, 'What horrible stuff is this?Waugh!'
'Why, that is Gunpowder tea, Lois,' said Aunt Joan with grim sarcasm.'Beautiful, isn't it?'
'There is some awful mistake about this,' said grandmother. 'I'll seethat drunken Pete about it.'
Pete was called in. Grandmother brought the box of tea out before himand said: 'Pete, what is the matter with this tea? It has nearlypoisoned us all to death. What is this black stuff mixed up with thetea?'
The Dutchman looked at it stupidly for a moment, then his mouth expandedfrom ear to ear, and he roared with laughter. 'Dunder und blixen, AuntLoish, but dot vos a goot choke on you. Dot vos Gunpowder dee mitout anymishtake,' and again he howled with laughter.
The long and short of the matter was, that Pete had bought a pound oftea and a pound of gunpowder, and had put the two packages into the samepocket before getting drunk. During his drunken brawling and fightingthe papers had become broken, with the result related."
The evening was balmy and beautiful, and they promenaded about thebalcony until the shades of night had set in. The twinkling lights ofthe towns and farmhouses began to appear. They were passing over themountainous region of southeastern Pennsylvania, and the globe hadascended to the four thousand foot level. The wind had shifted to nearlydue west.
"Where are we now, Doctor?" asked Mattie.
"We are crossing the southern portion of Pennsylvania. We are travelingnearly due west. I shall seek a more northerly current to-morrow morningif this wind does not become more favorable by that time."
They finally tired of walking and sat conversing until nearly teno'clock, when, by general consent, they retired, except Will, whoremained up to keep a lookout, and to watch the barometer andthermometer.