A Swift Kick in the Asteroids

by Edward Zajac

  Fletcher held up his hands. “Okay, okay,” he said, chuckling. “I’ll be good.” He clapped his hands together. “All right. So the Corsican Man suddenly disappeared. Do you know when?”

  “Suns,” said Zagarat as he thumbed through his mental database. “It was probably about ten fiscal years ago. It was before I even started there. And he wasn’t at Leranda very long. From what I understand, he never stayed at any branch for more than a year or two.” Zagarat paused as a thought came to him. A few, in fact. “What made you come to Mayoo?”

  “A source told me that the information I need is on Mayoo. Why?”

  Zagarat flipped open his PCD.

  “What?” said Fletcher, urgently. “What is going on?”

  “Give me a second.” Zag licked his lips as he searched his PCD. “Ha! I knew it.”

  “What?” asked Fletcher. “Tell me.”

  “Stann always had a crew that would follow him from branch to branch. When he disappeared, most of them took jobs in various other Deus branches.”

  “Are you saying one of them works at Mayoo?” said Fletcher. “It’s Bent, isn’t it? Bent was the one who worked with Stann. I knew he was in on this.”

  “No, you didn’t,” said Aurora. “You said he had nothing to do with it.”

  “I only said that to make you think I didn’t know what I think I know.”

  Aurora’s head shook as if it was about to explode. “What?” she said incredulously.

  “It wasn’t Bent,” said Zagarat, fingering his PCD.

  “See, I told you,” said Fletcher to Aurora.

  “But…” Aurora seemed about to argue, but then just threw up her hands and sighed.

  “According to their résumés, both Leevee and Xena Xa worked for Stann,” said Zagarat. “It’s one of the reasons Bent hired them.”

  “Xena Xa,” said Fletcher, shaking his head. “Huh. I would have never guessed it.”

  “Of course you wouldn’t,” said Aurora. “That’s because you’re a misogynistic bastard.”

  “What are you talking about?” said Fletcher. “I love women.”

  “No, you make love to women. There’s a difference.”

  “Well, I’ll have you know that I have nothing but the greatest respect for women and I think they can be as evil and conniving as any man. More so even.”

  “That’s very modern of you,” said Aurora, inclining her head. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome,” said Fletcher. “Now, if you don’t mind, the men are talking here.”

  If looks could kill, then Aurora’s look was worthy of four concurrent life sentences, with no chance for parole. With a huff, she disappeared from sight.

  “I know I’m gonna pay for that later,” said Fletcher, grinning. “But it’s so much fun screwing with her.” He slapped his hands together. “Okay, we know they both worked for Stann. Let’s get back to Mayoo and see what else we can find out.”

  Zagarat scrunched his face up tight. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”

  “Of course it’s a good idea,” said Fletcher. “Why wouldn’t it be a good idea?”

  “Because right now, we have the advantage.” Fletcher looked confused. “Just think about it. All Xa and Leevee know for certain is that Deus authorized me to audit their system. They don’t know we were looking into Galustay and I doubt Bent will say a word about what happened.”

  “What about the sents who tried to kill us?” said Fletcher.

  “Who knows?” said Zagarat, shrugging. “They might have hired those thugs to eliminate us or they might have just hired them to scare us away before we found anything incriminating. But if we go back there now, they’ll know for certain we’re onto them.” Zag held up his finger. “However, if I were to log a complaint with Deus Command about my horrific experience on Mayoo and refuse to return to the planet without improved security or financial compensation, then they would think we were just there to audit their security and nothing more.”

  “But that doesn’t get me the information I need,” said Fletcher.

  “You can still get the information. You just have to be smart about it.”

  “Well then, we’re screwed,” said Aurora from everywhere and nowhere.

  “Not necessarily,” said Zagarat. “If they’re harvesting this Galustay drug, they’d have to do it someplace discreet. Someplace mobile and outside any government jurisdiction.”

  “Of course,” said Aurora. “They’d do it on a ship, in the middle of space.”

  “That’s where I would do it,” said Zagarat.

  “But how would Xa communicate with them?” asked Aurora, appearing beside him.

  Zagarat didn’t even flinch at her sudden appearance. He just nodded at her avatar. “That’s the question. She wouldn’t do it from the Mayoo branch. Too many risks there.” Zag grimaced. “Although, Leevee’s pretty good. He might be able to mask her comm signals. But then he’d risk an auditor discovering his work. I don’t think he would take that chance.”

  “There’s another problem,” said Fletcher. “Magi patrols this whole sector. Any communique would have been picked up by Magi Command.”

  “So, how did she do it?” mused Zagarat, massaging his aching head. “I don’t know anymore. Maybe we should go down to Mayoo and just beat the information out of them.”

  “No,” said Fletcher, pensively. “I think you might be onto something. Did you get any SR information when you searched the database? Like recent vacations?”

  Zagarat queried the information. “I got nothing.” He paused. “Although…”

  “Oh, I like that although,” said Fletcher, eagerly. “What is it?”

  “I did grab a few complaints from Sentient Resources. Apparently, Bent sent a complaint to SR a year back, requesting a new secretary.”

  “Really?” said Fletcher. “Did he say why?”

  “Evidently, he didn’t think it was fair that Xa was permitted sick leave every fiscal quarter, as per the Terrasit Accords. According to his statement, ‘why should I suffer just because my assistant has Peipen Syndrome and requires treatments? I recommend we review our corporate policy so that we are not held hostage by the weakest among us.’”

  “Oh, he sounds nice,” said Aurora, sarcasm dripping from every syllable.

  “That’s it,” said Fletcher, his eyes aglow. “She contacts the ship when she goes off for her treatments.”

  “Now, if you could only track her Wave Gate movements,” Zagarat mused aloud as he paced the room. “Then you could see where she was going.” He looked up and saw Fletcher smiling smugly. “Wait. This ship can track Wave Gate traffic?”

  “No,” said Fletcher, in a perpetual state of smug. “But I know someone who can.”

  “Who?” asked Aurora.

  “Elyta,” said Fletcher. Aurora groaned. “What? I’m sure she’s forgotten all about that by now.” He clapped his hands together. “All right. Aurora, set course for Ferali. After that, we’re going to Aluna Station.” Then, without any warning whatsoever, not even dinner, dancing, or a romantic vid of some kind, Fletcher grabbed Zag and kissed him square on the lips, the embrace culminating with a resounding pop. “I love ya. Thank you.”

  “Um, thanks,” said Zag, wiping the spittle from his lips. “I guess.”

  “I mean it,” said Fletcher, grabbing him by the shoulders. “This might be exactly what I need to find those bastards. Thank you. And tell your mother thank you.”

  Fletcher kissed him on the forehead and then made his way towards the door.

  Zagarat smirked at the thought of his mother’s glorious face. He could already hear her mellifluous voice. “Zag, be a dear and bring me my knitting needles. Zag, turn on some Awfol music, would you? Zag, I knew that handsome man would rub off on you. Whatever you’re doing with him, you keep doing it. You hear me?”

  “Wait!” Zagarat blurted out suddenly.

  Fletcher turned at the door’s threshold. “Yes?”

  “Um,” said Zagarat, his
voice quavering. “Um.”

  As Zagarat waxed poetical down to a matte finish, Aurora appeared behind Fletcher, hovering in the air with her arms crisscrossed against her chest. And worse still, she was staring at him. Not with pity, or recrimination, or hatred, or anything like that. She stared that motherly stare all women seemed to inherit when they reached maturity. The look that said, “I’m not going to tell you what you should do. You know what you should do and I expect you to do it.”

  “Was there something you wanted?” asked Fletcher.

  “Um,” said Zagarat, eloquent as ever. “I was thinking you might need some, um, help.”

  “Help?” said Fletcher, quirking an eyebrow. “What kind of help?”

  “Um,” said Zagarat, his gaze drifting down to his feet. “Maybe my kind of help.”

  Aurora vanished only to reappear beside Fletcher. “I think that’s a great idea,” she said.

  “No, it isn’t,” said Fletcher, curtly. “Thanks for the offer, but I can do this myself.”

  Fletcher turned to walk away when Zagarat suddenly lurched forward. “But you’re an idiot,” he said desperately, the words falling trippingly from his tongue as if pushed from behind.

  Aurora and Fletcher turned in perfect unison; Aurora smiling while Fletcher frowned with his head cocked to one side.

  “What did you just say?” said Fletcher, levelly.

  “Um,” said Zagarat, his eyes polkaing around the room. “Depends. What did you hear?”

  “I heard you say I was an idiot.”

  “Um,” said Zagarat, holding up his finger. “No, I didn’t say… Well, yes. I did say that. But I didn’t mean… well, I did mean that, but that’s not why I…”

  Fletcher crossed his arms and leaned back against the doorframe, admiring this one man show by that singular talent Zagarat Cole: sent of a thousand awkward faces.

  Zagarat continued. “What I meant to say is that you need someone to keep you from being, well, you.”

  Fletcher turned towards Aurora. “Have you been talking to him about me?”

  “You leave her out of this,” said Zagarat. “You should be happy someone cares for you, you sunning idiot.” His eyes grew wide. “What is happening? Why do I keep saying the things I’m thinking?”

  Fletcher shrugged. “What can I say? I’m me.” He glanced over his shoulder at Aurora. “So, what do you think, gorgeous? Do I say yes or no?”

  “I don’t know why you’re asking me,” said Aurora. “My opinion doesn’t matter.”

  “Of course it matters,” said Fletcher. “You matter more than anyone else.”

  “If I matter so much, then why do you always say mean things to me?”

  “What are you talking about?” said Fletcher. “I never say mean things to you.”

  “You always pick on me,” said Aurora. “And make fun of me. It’s not nice.”

  “I don’t…” Fletcher sighed in melancholia. He also sighed in the room. “Sorry,” he said. “Sometimes, I forget that you’ve missed out on so much.” He closed his eyes, sniffling slightly. “I don’t say those things because I don’t care for you. It’s just…”

  Fletcher fell silent as if battling the emotions inside.

  “It’s just that he cares for you,” said Zagarat. “He just doesn’t know how to express his feelings, so he acts like an ass.”

  “That,” said Fletcher, pointing at Zagarat. “That.”

  “And Aurora cares about you,” Zagarat continued. “She just wishes you didn’t always act like an ass, you ass.”

  “That,” said Aurora, pointing at Zagarat. “That.”

  Fletcher shrugged again. “What can I say? I’m me.” He grinned proudly, eyeing Zag with something akin to admiration. “Well, you’ve certainly changed. What happened to the neurotic tech I met on Leranda?”

  “Oh, he’s still here,” said Zagarat. “He just wants to help, that’s all.”

  “Why?” asked Fletcher, stepping closer. “This isn’t your fight. You don’t even know these Weiylans. Why would you risk your life to help them?”

  “Because no one else will,” said Zagarat, a hint of sadness in his voice. “And I know what that’s like.”

  For the longest time, Fletcher just stood there and stared, his expression expressionless. Then the privateer smiled. “Aurora, cancel Ferali. We’re going straight to Aluna Station.”

  Aurora actually yipped with joy. “I’m on it,” she said before vanishing.

  Fletcher smirked. “It seems you have a fan,” he said.

  “Yeah,” said Zagarat. “She seems nice.”

  “She’s amazing,” said Fletcher. “And so are you. Now, let’s get to work.”

  elcome to Aluna Station, one of the newest and most illustrious stations in this part of the galaxy. If this is your first time here, welcome. If you are a returning guest, thank you for dealing once again with the Magi Corporation and we hope you enjoy your stay on station.”

  *The Magi Corporation will not be held responsible for any personal injury, loss, or death while on station. Nor does this imply a contractual obligation on the part of the Magi Corporation to guarantee a certain level of enjoyment to all sentient visitors.*

  “On station, you will find retailers from over fifty different planets as well as representatives from the UVAQ-20; the largest and most illustrious mega-corporations in the known universe, including the Magi Corporation, the Deus Syndicate, UES Intergalactic, and many, many others.”

  *Aluna Station, its parent company, or any Magi Corporation employee will not be held responsible for the actions of said or not said representatives, corporations, or sentients therein.*

  “The Magi Corporation commissioned Aluna Station ten fiscal years ago as a welcoming oasis in space, far from any particular government jurisdiction, wherein all sentients may interact with other sentients without fear of recrimination or persecution, thus fostering a sense of brotherhood, sisterhood, and all other applicable sentienthoods.”

  *While the Magi Corporation respects all sentient laws and traditions, by entering the station, all sentients and corporate representatives tacitly agree to conduct themselves as per the Terrasit Accords. A copy of said accord can be found at any one of the numerous visitor consoles throughout the station at no additional cost, as per the Terrasit Accords.”

  “As you see here, Aluna Station is a Gennet-style station. The central spire radiates a Cronin field that emulates the gravity on Bylar Prime. But don’t think we’ve forgotten about you, Jenuens. We have created planet-designated areas throughout the station, so whatever your racial, special, sexual, or other needs, Aluna Command is here to help.”

  *This message by no means implies a contractual agreement, requiring Aluna Command, Aluna Station, and/or the Magi Corporation to fulfill the needs of all sentient beings. The Magi Corporation may also deny or revoke access to the station, so long as it is not based on racial, special, or sexual basis, as per the Terrasit Accords. All rights reserved.*

  “There are three main sectors on Aluna Station. Alpha Sector, Delta Sector, and Epsilon Sector. From there…”

  “Would you put that thing away?” said Fletcher, shutting Zag’s PCD.

  “But I was just getting to the good part,” said Zagarat, following Fletcher out of the maglift. “Besides, I’ve never been on Aluna Station before.”

  “Well, you’re not gonna learn anything useful from that Magi vid,” said Fletcher. “Just follow my lead. I’ll show you the truth about this station.”

  Aurora appeared at the end of the corridor. “Should I send the bail credits now or wait until you’re formally charged?”

  “Ignore her,” said Fletcher. “She’s just jealous she can’t go with us.”

  “It’s true,” said Aurora. “It’s been so long since someone’s pointed a gun at my head.” She vanished then reappeared before Fletcher. “Do you have your ID with you?”

  Fletcher rolled his eyes. “Yes, mother.”

  “And do you have protec
tion with you?”

  “Of course,” said Fletcher, tapping his coat. “It’d be pretty inconsiderate of me not to carry some, especially considering some of the strange places my penis has been.”

  Aurora sighed, as if trying to quell her growing frustration. “That’s not what I meant,” she said. “Do you have your sidearm with you?”

  “Of course not,” said Fletcher with exaggerated innocence. “Firearms are illegal on the station without the proper permits. Therefore, it would be wrong of me to carry a custom-made sidearm inside a hidden pocket of my trench coat. Just plain wrong.”

  Aurora nodded in approval. “Good.”

  “Don’t worry,” said Fletcher. “I’ll be good.”

  “No, you won’t,” she replied, dejectedly.

  Fletcher smirked. “Yeah, you’re probably right. But I’ll try.” He kissed his hand then placed it on a nearby wall. “You know the rules. Keep safe and keep the comms open.”

  “I always do,” said Aurora.

  As they exited the ship, Zagarat turned to bid Aurora goodbye. But she didn’t seem to hear him. She stared off into the distance, a great sadness in her eyes.

  Zagarat stayed close on Fletcher’s heels as they made their way onto the station, even tripping him a few times as they walked. It wasn’t that Zag was afraid or anything. It was just that everything was all so strange and new. But he definitely wasn’t scared. Definitely. Probably not.

  Okay, he was terrified. But it wasn’t without reason.

  Zag had spent most of his life in his own insular world. Other than the occasional vid game or corporate conference, all he knew was Leranda. And Lerandans.

  He’d met other sentients, of course. You couldn’t work in the corporate world and not meet them. But most of them were what the universe called bi-pedal. They had two arms and two legs, and usually one head. But for the most, it was difficult to tell one race from another, without relying on racial stereotypes which SR claimed was wrong.