The Alexandra Series

by Lizbeth Dusseau

He followed me to the table and sat down between Jane and me. His intentions were clear when he began to play with my leg, tracing a delicate line along my thigh with his finger. The feeling overwhelmed me, and I wanted him to end it now. I prayed that he’d go away, and yet, I did nothing to dissuade him. In fact, I swear that I was coming on to him, inviting him with a flirty smile and taunting eyes, my body oozing sex. I nervously fumbled with my drink as he asked me questions, little insignificant personal questions that I answered coyly, as if I were seducing him with my evasive replies.

  “You think you can leave your friend here for a while, and we’ll have some fun?” he asked.

  Jane nodded at me, as if she were pushing me out the door, a mother hen to her chick.

  But suddenly, the drink didn’t feel or taste as good as it had earlier, and my stomach turned. Fear, my constant friend, rose up, supplanting my desire. My mind began to race with all the reasons why I had to leave, and leave immediately.

  “Sorry, no,” I blurted out. “We have to be going – soon.”

  I lied and he knew it.

  “And where’s that?” he asked.

  My momentary high all but collapsed, and my former uptight reserve returned.

  “Really, we have to go,” I said firmly. Head pounding, nerves on edge, a full scale war raging inside me, I gathered my purse and headed for the door in the same swift manner that I’d left The Tropics the week before.

  Knowing I was too shaken to drive, Jane took the wheel of my car and we rode in silence. I knew she’d be disappointed, but she showed no signs that she was. In fact, if anything, she seemed to sense my need to back away from bars and unknown men.

  “Come upstairs with me,” she said, as she parked the car in front of her building. It wasn’t a request I wanted to challenge. I wanted to be closer to her. I wanted it to be just her and me together, talking, laughing, being friends. I wanted to be the special one in her life for that moment in time. I needed her friendship and her wisdom and a place to be safe.

  As we mounted the stairs to her apartment, I felt the strange night, the tavern, the men, the dancing, the booze and the fear slowly melt into another time, far away. I entered Jane’s cozy world, and nothing else seemed to matter but our being together. It was safe, seductive and secure.

  Jane motioned me to sit while she changed clothes. Gone were the boots and leggings, replaced with a black knit wrap skirt. She removed the lace tee in favor of a snug-fitting pink camisole. She stopped long enough to pour two glasses of wine from the bottle we’d earlier shared, then while I sat on her couch slowly sipping from my glass, she flitted about the apartment, moving things from here to there. I wasn’t sure what she was doing, except that just looking at her move was a pleasure. The snug-fitting camisole showed off the contours of her breasts and torso. I could even see the dark part of her nipples, and the centers that hardened into little buds. I had the most compelling desire to touch them, and as strange as it seemed, I didn’t want to squelch the feeling.

  At last she sat down on the opposite end of the couch, in a most erotic pose, her legs sprawled wide so that her skirt, already quite short, rose up high on her thighs. I could see between her legs, and realized that she wasn’t wearing any panties. Her closely shaved pussy was right there for me to see. I didn’t know whether to look at it or turn away.

  Did she mean to be so provocative? Did she intend to turn me on? Would we make love? My heart beat rapidly at the thought, not with fear but arousal. I tried to dismiss the possibility that sex was her intent, but I could hardly shy away from the possibility. “Tell me Alex Morgan, why did you run tonight?” Her eyes peered at me seductively, her lips were so exquisitely formed, and the way she talked…I wanted to touch her face, her cheeks, her eyes. I wanted to carefully kiss her lips and feel them return my kiss with her own. I was shocked by my thoughts.

  “I was scared.”

  She laughed and reached for her glass of wine. Her full breasts moved beneath the camisole as she did and I couldn’t help but stare.

  “Of course you were, that’s obvious. But why?” Her lips glistened with her vibrant red lipstick. Beckoning.

  “Everything is happening so fast, so many changes in the way I’m thinking about myself. There’s so much to think about…and I’m not certain what I want. And tonight…” I stumbled on my words, “tonight it was there, the opportunity. It could have happened, really happened.”

  “And what would have been so wrong with that?”

  I shook my head. “I wasn’t ready, I knew I wasn’t…” I could have gone on, but my excuses would have fallen on deaf ears. She didn’t think the way I did.

  “I think that a lot of what you dream about you’d really like to do.”

  I wanted to answer her with an emphatic No! but I couldn’t because I knew she was right.

  “I’m scared…” I replied, not knowing what else to say. Explanations seemed to pass through me, I couldn’t think…so aware of her body, her breasts and sumptuous thighs, and the bare pussy beneath her skirt that seemed to glisten when the light caught it just right.

  “You know, Alex,” she said, “sex is not all about raging fantasies. It’s about pleasure, one body to another.” She leaned forward, her eyes continuing to caress me with their lust. “It’s been so long for you, you don’t even know where to begin, do you?”

  “No.” I shook my head. There were tears forming in my eyes. The last thing I wanted to do was cry, but that didn’t matter to Jane.

  “Let me show you what I mean by pleasure.” She moved closer, and with her eyes still locked on mine, she reached out to touch my breasts. “Just relax, and feel.” She was so gentle, so soft, the feel of her hand touching me where only once, sometime long ago, an errant boyfriend’s hand had dared to venture – one errant boyfriend and a burly biker just an hour ago. That she was a woman made it seem odd to me, and yet the feelings were not odd at all; but natural and perfect. I tingled from the tips of my nipples, which she lightly played with, to my throbbing pussy. With every breath my desire rose. She didn’t try to go any further, to reach beneath my t-shirt. Though I could see in her eyes that she wanted to.

  “Touch me if you like,” she said, like a teacher to a student.

  Reaching out, I hesitated. Another barrier in my mind dropping away. Those breasts, so beautifully encased in lace, lured me on. I shuddered as I felt the warm firmness of her flesh beneath my fingers.

  I pulled my hand away, but she grabbed it back.

  “It’s time you went beyond your fears. Enough of the drama.” I shuddered, realizing what she meant. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to bite.”

  “No?”

  “Well, actually I might.” Her tone had changed. She was serious, demanding, but ever so seductive. “You’re mine tonight. Don’t sweat this out. Just let me take charge.”

  Something about that thought sent a wave of panic through me, but there was a desire behind it I could not ignore.

  “Your skin’s so smooth and soft…” She gave my nipple a sharp tweak, smiling deviously, then backed off. “I’m going to have my way with you.”

  I cringed, a little afraid and curiously exhilarated.

  “Now the skirt,” she said. “Stand up and take it off, your panties, too.”

  Again I hesitated, but it was only momentary. I was on my feet before I let the fear win, and the last of my clothes were tossed to the floor in a heap. I sat back down as soon as that was done, but Jane shook her head.

  “Did I tell you to sit? You get back up so I can see you, all of you.”

  I stood just a foot from her, trembling but eager, awash with emotions I didn’t understand, but I would not back away, and I wouldn’t run.

  When she stroked my thigh her fingers were hot, my flesh seared by her touch and I gave up a tiny gasp. Her eyes gazed up into mine, hard with lust as if she were daring me to balk. I held my ground. “Good girl.”

  I breathed deep.

  “Now turn around,” she
ordered, and as I did her hands played freely with my ass, kneading it, pulling the cheeks apart, even giving it a few firm smacks. I gasped, feeling dizzy, though I was painfully aroused.

  “Now sit down,” she finally said, and I turned and fell back into the comfort of the pillows.

  She continued to move on me, caressing me in earnest, tenderly but firmly, gently but without reservation. Her face leaned in to mine, her breath warming my cheeks.

  “You are quite the little temptress, you know.” Her voice was deep and husky, her lips full and sensuous against my own. I kissed her back, with my tongue moving out to meet hers. She probed my mouth deeper then moved down my neck kissing and licking my skin until she was at my chest, where her mouth devoured my breasts. Taking my nipples between her lips, she sucked them hard then she backed away and flicked them with her fingers, enough to make me gasp aloud. “A little pain would do you good.” I wasn’t so sure about that, but everything she did to me just added to my mounting arousal. She began to massage my belly and thighs then pushed her hand between my legs, parting them, slapping them lightly to emphasize her point. I spread them wide as she reached deep, her fingers discovering my wet pussy and sensitive clit.

  “Oh my god!” I gushed, throwing my head back against the pillows. I could feel a climax rising swiftly – this was nothing like my routine masturbations, nothing like I’d ever felt before. I was at my sexual peak, cresting over that lovely edge, panting deeply. The orgasm came and went so quickly that I was disappointed it was over so quickly.

  I glanced up to see Jane almost scowling at me.

  “Oh, you’re not done yet,” she said, and she dove in for more. This time she worked me harder, slapping my breasts to start, waking up desires in me I never knew were there. She kissed me hard while striking my pussy with the palm of her hand, and then harder with each consecutive smack. “You like that, don’t you?”

  I didn’t answer.

  She gave my one exposed butt cheek a firm slap. “I didn’t hear you, slut! Tell me the truth.”

  “Yes, yes, I like it. I love it!” I practically shouted.

  “That’s better.”

  Her lips and teeth went down on my nipples and tits, leaving marks where she bit and me gasping from the strangest feeling of pleasure. She moved to my sex, opening my thighs wide and licking them with her skilled tongue. She licked my swollen bud, nibbled it, teased it and sucked it hard.

  “OH Yes! Yes yes yes…” I clutched her hair in my hands. Then for a moment she playfully fingered my vagina, until I began to spasm. Moving in more forcefully, she thrust two fingers deep inside, then another and another until I thought she’d force her whole fist inside me. For a time her hand withdrew and she descended on my crotch with her mouth. Again, the sexual heat in me soared, and I thrust my cunt toward her face so she could devour me more. I was quickly rewarded as another, bigger, better and more brilliant orgasm shook my body hard.

  “Oh, yes, my gawd, yes!” I trembled. I shuddered. I whimpered softly.

  When at last I opened my eyes, I saw Jane smiling down at me from above, not sweetly, but with an evil look in her eye. As if a crude beast had risen to the surface, her own needs were demanding satisfaction. As she knelt beside the couch, she removed the chemise for my first close-up glimpse of her lovely breasts. She pinched her nipples, then cupped the beautiful mounds in her hands and squeezed them hard. Her face was dreamy, her lips contorting into a grimace. She hurried on and began to tongue them, looking so deeply enthralled with her own desire that I thought she would get off without my doing a thing at all.

  Suddenly she rose up on her knees and removed the skirt. I gasped seeing her body entirely naked. Her flesh was firm and supple, and her bronze skin shone in the dancing candlelight. I nearly gasped seeing the animal inside eyes. I felt the raw heat of her. She was like a tigress, feral and untamed. I smelled her crotch, her sex, her lust and drew it into me, savoring the earthy perfume. But she was so lost within herself that she hardly knew I was there. The essence of her sexuality appeared before me and all I needed to do was watch and enjoy.

  She began to sway like a lazy feline cat, then dropped to her hands and knees and began rubbing her body lewdly against the couch. She crawled catlike across the room. I could see the muscles of her steamy thighs undulate as she moved, the pouch of the sex between her legs, her hot pussy seemed to swell as if it were grabbing its pleasure from the air. She moved about and backed into the edge of a chair, her bottom moving against it for some moments. Then she lowered her breasts to the rug, where her tender flesh sought out the toughness of the carpet to stimulate them. She made love to her body. Everything she touched aroused her. I sensed that my gaze was the catalyst that kept her moving toward the inevitable climax. I wanted to play with her, yet I held back in fear, afraid to interrupt.

  As she taunted me with her blatant womanhood, she taught me pleasure I never dreamed possible. She began to finger herself in rhythmic movements—not hard and fast as I often needed, but gently. I could feel her climax building, slowly, determinedly, until with little effort she tripped the switch of her orgasm and her body went taut. Her voice lifted into the air with the sumptuous sounds of orgasm.

  She left me speechless, having drawn me into her moment of glory, while I’d done nothing at all.

  What a magnificent gift to see such pleasure so effortlessly exposed. I didn’t know what to do or say, or how to feel, or what to think. When her spasms finally subsided, she crawled to me, still cat-like, and laid her head on my chest.

  “Oh, my dear Alex,” she whispered, her voice hushed and deep and resonant.

  I realized then that I needed to say nothing. She made me believe that even though I hadn’t laid a hand on her, I’d been as much a part of her pleasure as she was of mine. For a long while, we remained on the couch like spent lovers enjoying the aftermath of good sex.

  “You’ve made this so satisfying,” she whispered at last.

  “How do you mean?” I asked, even though I knew the answer.

  “What a silly question. I could feel you with me.”

  “But I didn’t touch you!”

  “Oh, but you did,” she sighed, “with your eyes and your desire. You would have joined me soon enough. But that didn’t matter, not tonight.”

  She was right. I wish I hadn’t held back, but nonetheless, we still made love. And for my part, it was as much as I could handle. I was beginning to feel the bliss she felt, beginning to understand what she meant by pleasure. Sex is more than just the motions, more than orgasm. She’d stripped herself wide open before my eyes. Never had I been part of anything so profound. Never had I given myself to another person as I did that night. I guess we had made love.

  “Oh, Alex, I am going to miss you,” she said, sighing deeply.

  What was that? “Miss me? Why miss me?”

  She pulled herself away from me and sat on the floor as I reclined on the couch above.“I’ve been offered a theatre job in Florida. I’m leaving next week.”

  I sat up stunned, feeling as if she’d slapped me in the face.

  “I’m sorry it has to end this way, so quickly, just when we were getting to know each other.”

  “This is ending? I can’t believe that,” I said in disbelief. “It’s so abrupt.”

  “I know.” She looked at me kindly. As if that would make it all right.

  All the beauty that had been between us withered away in that instant. I felt betrayed and hurt, as if she’d used me then stabbed me in the heart.

  “You knew you were going to leave? Why did you even bother?”

  “Because we both wanted it.”

  “At least you could have told me first.”

  “And risk you backing out? You’re skittish enough, and I wanted too much.”

  “Wanted me for an easy one-nighter.”

  “Oh, come on. That’s not being fair. Besides it was perfect, wasn’t it?”

  “It was perfect.” I felt my anger starting to
burn in me.

  “Alex, hon. I think you’ve become too attached to me. You want more than I can give.”

  “I thought you cared about me.”

  “I do.”

  “You call it caring to lead me on, get what you want then take it all away!” I bolted upright and grabbed for my clothes. All I wanted to do was leave.

  “Alex, please, stop, you can’t leave like this.” She came up to the couch, laying a sure and steady hand on me, as if to flee would be the worst thing I could do. I pushed her hand away. “We both found the pleasure we were after. Sometimes that’s all a night can be, but it’s enough.”

  It wasn’t enough for me.

  “Don’t go wrapping this up in some sappy relationship,” she went on. “That’s not what tonight was about.”

  “And what’s wrong with a relationship?”

  “Nothing, nothing at all, except that I don’t have relationships. I have sex and pleasure. I love the people I’m with when I’m with them, and I take with me fond memories when I go. Besides, you don’t need me now, you need a man. You’ll have that special someone and hopefully thank me for helping you on your way.”

  It was hard to argue with her logic. I did want a man. And if I were to have scoured my feelings at the time, I would have realized that she was just a substitute for my real desire.

  She smiled so affectionately, that at least for the moment, it seemed to wash away some of the hurt.

  “Here,” she said, as she handed me a Kleenex, “I’ll get us something to eat.”

  She was on her feet before I could say another word, her smooth womanly body gliding about the kitchen pulling things from shelves to fill a platter. She brought back more wine, and an array of crackers, cheese and fruit. She bent down and affectionately kissed my lips. Her long, lingering kiss reminded me how much I loved being with her, and then again, how terrible it was that she was leaving.

  “Alex, I know you may not want to hear this from me right now,” she said as we were finishing up the food, “but if you don’t mind…a bit of advice…”

  I didn’t stop her.

  “You have so much locked up inside you, so many desires, you need to explore them fully. Seek them out. Tonight’s just a beginning. Don’t try to find a husband or a steady lover too soon or you’ll never discover yourself. You’ll get bogged down by the other person. For God’s sake give yourself some time to get to know you.”