by Kahlen Aymes
She didn’t say anything so I continued, “The fact that she was still technically a minor those first months, kept me from even kissing her except in rehearsal or during filming. But as the end of the shoot came near, her birthday came, and went and I couldn’t bear the thought of not seeing her every day.” I pinched the end of the cigarette off and pushed it back into the pack, and replaced it in my jacket pocket. Jeanne was still silent as I glanced at her.
“That’s when I knew. I spent the last two weeks trying to figure out how I was going to say goodbye to the one person that I couldn’t live without.” My mouth quirked at the memory of those last weeks in Vancouver… I had been completely miserable. Lost.
Jeanne just drove and let me talk. “Every time that David would show up, I disappeared, avoiding everyone, except on set. Especially Brook. She always came to find me; then, how was I supposed to hide how bloody miserable I was? It was as if my pain, were her own. She just—” I stopped and shook my head in amazement. “She knew I needed her. Even thinking I’d never have her, knowing she cared was enough at the time.”
I let out my breath, “I know it must sound ridiculous and rather pathetic to you…” I let the words drop on a half-assed laugh. “Especially given who I am.”
“Not at all.” Jeanne put a hand on mine. “It’s beautiful, Cade, and seeing you together, I can see you’re being honest. I’m so sorry that you have the damn contract restrictions. I wish there was some way to get out of them.”
“Yeah, I’m ready to tell them to sod off. Seriously, I’d chuck it all to end this madness,” I sighed. “The money, fame, even the next film, none of it, is worth this. The pain I feel when I have to leave her fucking devastates me every time. There are no words to describe the pain.”
Jeanne pulled up to the curb at Virgin Atlantic and two of my regular bodyguards were waiting on the curb to surround me once I was out of the car. She hugged me in the car so that paps wouldn’t see her, and then be able to connect me to Brook.
“Have a safe flight, Cade. Everything will work out, honey.” She tried to reassure me, but my heart had fallen and was sitting like lead in my stomach. Sadness enveloped me.
I got out of the car, and opened the back door to get my carry on, as the guys unloaded my case from the rear hatch.
“Jeanne, I want to thank you, sincerely, for helping us have time together despite the contracts. I can’t tell you what it means. Every second we have together is like gold.”
Cameras were already flashing. I hated this shit. I leaned in the open door further, so I could talk to her without the press hearing my words, as my bodyguards stood between me and them, arms spread to keep them at bay. It was difficult because of the screaming fans and the paparazzi yelling at me for a photo op. The dark windows would help hide Jeanne’s identity from the press. Brook’s career was only starting, so that helped tamp down suspicion, but it would only be a matter of time, and I knew it. I threw my bag over my shoulder, ready to go into the terminal.
“Thanks for listening. It helped.” I patted the top of the door over the open window, after I shut it. “Take good care of her. Tell her not to forget about me.” I knew sadness was evident on my face, but I consciously changed my expression stoic and shoved on my sunglasses.
“I will, I promise,” Jeanne said. I could barely hear her amid the din, but her eyes were sympathetic. “But she knows, Cade. She knows.”
I stepped between my guys and turned amid screaming fans, flashing cameras and pushing paparazzi to go into the terminal where I would board the plane that would take me the three thousand miles to New York City and my next role. Three thousand miles away from my heart, New York to the West Coast, the same distance that separated Boston and L.A.
So, bloody ironic.
*****
After I was ushered through security and settled into my first class seat, the entire portion of the plane, reserved for my team to ensure privacy and discretion, I decided to check my phone before I turned it off for the flight. There was a message from Brooklyn.
“Mmmm,” I sighed. I was happy to see her name already on the screen, but my chest hurt uncomfortably, and I felt like my skin was crawling. I prayed, I’d get some sleep during the flight.
Seeing Brook was always completely amazing, but what followed, was pure heartbreak. Remembering her trembling in the garage as we backed out was too much for my aching heart. I pulled up her message.
I’m sorry I cried so much. I’ll try to be stronger. I love you.
My heart thudded in my chest as I felt my throat constrict.
I’ll call you when I land in New York. I love you with all my heart.
Don’t forget to remember me.
I pushed send, and then dialed Denise.
The next time Brook and I would see each other was when I came to L.A. next month for the Vanity Fair shoot and Comic Con. I decided to call my manager.
“Denise, its Cade.” I had an agent in Los Angeles and one in London.
“Hi, doll! Did you have a nice time in L.A.?”
“Yeah, it was nice to be here. I’m on the plane, waiting to taxi out.”
“Okay, well when you get to the hotel, you’ll find your press packet in your room with your itinerary, and the contact numbers for your transportation to and from events, and everything…” Filming was scheduled for Wednesday, but until then, I had two days of press junkets.
I was bored with this conversation; I already knew the drill. “Listen, Denise, I need a couple of things.”
“Sure, what can I do for you?” she asked.
“Well, who is getting photographed for Vanity Fair next month?” I asked. I was remembering what Wendy said about all of us being there, and was hoping we wouldn’t have to deal with her bullshit again.
“All of the main cast, and Noah,” she said. “Why?”
“Can you see if you can just have Brook, Noah, me and only a couple of the others? I don’t want Wendy McFarland on that shoot.”
“What’s your problem with her?” Denise asked cautiously.
“She’s been coming on to me, and frankly, I don’t want to subject Brook to that nonsense. Brook said you mentioned Wendy has a reputation for calling the paps to tip them off; she gets more publicity that way. If that’s true, just keep her away from me. I don’t want even a rumor getting out that she and I are seeing each other, and more importantly, I don’t need any press around if I’m going to keep my relationship with Brook a secret.”
“Yeah, I see your point. Okay, I’ll make sure she’s contained.” She laughed. “Cade, you will always have women chasing after you. Brook will need to deal with it.”
“I’m really oblivious to it, Denise. I just want some form of normalcy and will do whatever I can to keep Brook from being hurt.”
“Don’t say her name loud enough for anyone to hear Cade! Good God! You have to be so careful.” She paused when I didn’t say anything. Bloody hell, now I can’t even talk about her in an empty airplane compartment?
“Speaking of Brook, did you get to spend any time with her after the photo shoot? Jeanne said she was going to work it out, but I never heard.” Even though she was my manager, Denise had also become a close friend.
“Yeah, Jeanne has been great. We only had the one night. But um, it was… incredible, wonderful. It’s leaving that kills me, you know?” I closed my eyes.
Her voice was full of understanding. “I’m so sorry, Cade. We’re all working to get something done so maybe the two of you can have some time alone somewhere, extend your next L.A. trip, perhaps. There’s a lot of press to do and Martin called and said there are three scenes he needs. That means you may be here as long as two weeks.”
“Well, maybe that’s a blessing in disguise. Which scenes? Are they reshoots?” I wanted to know.
“Um, I think they’re all new, but I can’t remember what they are right now, sorry.”
“Are they sending us back up to Vancouver?”
“No, they’re sc
outing locations in LA.” The flight attendant began going over the in-flight safety instructions, so I wanted to finish the call.
“Listen, Denise, I need a favor, if you don’t mind,” I said hesitantly.
“Okay, what?” She was eager to help me. She’d been my manager since I was twelve, and I could always count on her for anything I needed.
“Well, I need to go to Tiffany’s while I’m in New York, but no one can know. Maybe you can go for me, or arrange a time when the store is closed when I could meet with only the manager? I’ll need to pay in cash, so there isn’t a paper trail.”
“Um…” Her voice was wary. “What exactly are you buying at Tiffany’s, Cade?”
I smiled, but I knew all hell was going to break lose as soon as I said it. “An engagement ring,” I said softly.
Silence. I waited.
“Cade!” Her voice was panicked. “We can’t have Brooklyn parading around wearing a damn engagement ring, unless it’s from David.”
“Fuck David,” I growled at her. His name was the last one I needed to hear. He’d be rammed down my bloody throat enough in the next months.
“You can’t be seen buying one. Is that clear?” Her voice was stern.
I was annoyed at her resistance. “Look, I’m in love with her, and by some miracle she loves me, too. We aren’t telling anyone and she won’t wear it until we can come out with our relationship, but I need to buy this ring. I need to know she’s mine.” My voice was low and serious. “Will you help me, or not?”
“If she isn’t going to wear it, can’t it wait?” she almost begged.
“I’m not giving it to her until I’m back in LA, so we have a month. I’m going to be in New York, so I thought I could get it while I’m there.” I paused and sighed. “Doing this will help me feel less separated from her, less miserable. Right now, I’m sick with it. You want me to function, don’t you?” I tried to lighten the mood with light teasing.
She sighed on the other end of the phone. “Okay. I’ll see what I can do, but I’m sure as hell not letting you go in anywhere to buy it. I’ll have to figure this out and get back to you.” I could hear the reluctance in her voice, but she knew I was serious.
“I appreciate it, but I want to pick it out myself. It has to be perfect.”
“Cade! You barely know her.”
“I’m not going to argue about it.”
“God, you’re impossible! I’m only doing this because I love you,” she said tightly, but I knew she was probably smiling.
“I know. What would I do without you?” I was the last to board the plane so the flight attendant’s announcement was beginning.
“Not a whole hell of a lot!” She laughed.
“I’ve gotta go, they are making me shut down my phone while we take off. I’ll call you when I get to New York. Thanks for everything.” I rang off and settled back in my seat as my phone buzzed in my pocket. Brook’s message flashed on the screen before flipped the phone to airplane mode.
I won’t forget. I love you, more.
I sighed and closed my eyes. She loved me more? That was impossible.
Chapter 18
Stolen Moments
I kept busy during my time without Cade, working on my upcoming role and also reading a couple of scripts Jeanne had given me to look through for future jobs. I still couldn’t commit to anything, though, because we didn’t know if we’d be doing the rest of the Remembrance Series, so I needed to keep my calendar relatively clear in the spring. Army of Two was slotted to begin filming in the summer months, but if I was going to be a successful actress, I needed to get more projects lined up beyond that.
David and I talked and were on pretty good terms. I sensed he was still hurt, but agreed that being friends was something we would always have, and really, what our entire relationship had been based on. It was still awkward, but I was hoping that over time it would get easier. I had some appearances with Cade coming up that David would be attending with me, per our arrangement, and while it was apparently necessary, it would be weird for all of us.
I saw Jennifer and Wendy a couple of times. We all met for lunch at a sushi bar about a week earlier, and to give Wendy credit, she didn’t even mention Cade once. I would have thought it strange except I knew about the conversation in his room the last time he was in LA.
She was angry that the Vanity Fair shoot had been changed to only include Cade, Noah, Sarah, Gavin and myself. That magazine was a big deal and promotional powerhouse, so she had other reasons to be disappointed, beyond not seeing Cade.
Call me selfish, but I was glad I wouldn’t have to deal with the possibility of her attitude. It would’ve been odd seeing her reaction around Cade when he’d told her he wasn’t interested in her. I was sure it hurt her, and I felt a little bit guilty, though I still felt real jealousy at her blatant attempts to seduce him. I knew her well enough to know that his discouraging words wouldn’t deter her forever.
Cade texted several times but we only spoke a few times a week on the phone or Skype. It probably would have been more often, if we didn’t get so sad when we said goodbye. It seemed we were in touch a little less as time went on. Another one of our unspoken communications; it kept us sane.
His sweet words coming across my phone reminded me he was thinking of me, but made me anxious for the time we would be together again. Most of the messages were filled with love, but some were a little bit naughty, too. I giggled at the thought. He either had my heart swelling, or my body aching. I loved it, either way.
The distance was getting a little bit easier to bear, or maybe it was just time passing that made me acclimate. I told myself that the real test would be the next time he’d leave me, but I wouldn’t let myself think about that, and shifted my focus to seeing him.
He was coming in tomorrow and would be in L.A. for two full weeks. I longed for some time alone with him, but we would also be doing additional scenes for the film, which would take several of those days, some mall appearances, and a couple of interviews on radio and entertainment TV. This was life after our private little filming bubble popped, I thought ruefully. It was likely to get even more maddening as the premiers came closer, the first of which would be at the end of October in Rome. The schedule would be brutal, but at least I’d be seeing much more of Cade. I was missing him more than I let myself admit.
Jeanne was on her way over to discuss the schedule for the weeks to come, and take me to the VF shoot. I wondered what she and Denise came up with to allow alone time with Cade.
We were lucky that we had so many people we trusted working to help us maintain our contracts with Pinnacle, and help us to see each other under the radar. It wasn’t ideal, but it was better than nothing. I could sense Cade’s frustrations when he and I talked. I worried that he’d do something rash, not caring about the contracts or future work with the studio.
I hadn’t seen my manager since that day she came to take Cade to the airport a month before, but we’d maintained close contact on the phone and through email.
Jeanne and Ken were the business end of my career. They handled all the mundane stuff like finding jobs and negotiation of contracts, which left me to the part that I loved. Acting. She arrived dressed in a business suit and I smiled brightly.
“Hey!” I said, as I jumped in the front seat of her SUV. My cheeks felt heated; I was flushed and excited.
“Hi, honey,” she said as she leaned over toward my seat and hugged me. “You look really good!! Much happier than the last time I saw you.” She gave me a squeeze.
“Um, yeah. Sorry about that. I never mean to be such a mess, but…” I began.
“Oh that’s okay, Brooklyn.” She looked at me and as she put the car in reverse and starting to back out. “I want to apologize for doubting that yours and Cade’s relationship was the real thing.”
“It’s, okay.” I shrugged and shook my head, surprised by her admission. “I guess it was evident by the way I fell apart before, huh?”
&
nbsp; “And, by Cade’s reaction in the car on the way to the airport.” She paused as she searched my face. “He was pretty much a mess. He really loves you, Brook, and I decided then and there, I was going to do whatever I need to do to help the two of you see each other.” She smiled.
I wondered what she had planned, pleasure at her words racing through me.
“After the shoot today, you guys have three days before any of your other commitments and so we’re sending you off together.”
My breath caught in my throat and I felt my stomach lurch. “What?” I gasped out.
“Denise and I worked it out. You can’t travel together, but she’s got him booked on a flight for Vancouver tomorrow morning,” she used her hand to make quote marks in the air, “to visit Daniel, who has a concert up there. And you will be staying home all weekend. Poor thing, he’s got what amounts to a day-long plane ride, just to keep up the illusion, and you… You’re going to get so damn ill.” Her eyes sparkled, a big smile on her lips.
I couldn’t help the giggle that burst out.
“We’ve chartered a plane to pick up Cade at a private air strip and fly him down to meet you in San Diego. My parents have a bungalow down there by the ocean and I’ve managed to get it for you.”
I felt my heart leap inside my chest. Did she just say what I thought she said? Three days alone with Cade?
“Really?” I couldn’t believe it was possible. She nodded, and I wanted to hug her. “Oh Jeanne, I’ll never be able to thank you!! Ahhhhhh!” I screamed.
