Highland Destiny
Page 23
He continued as if she had agreed with him, "I am serious.
If there is something that you feel you canna tell me, I understand. But then also know that you can tell me anything." His eyes darkened and smoldered. Mackenzie still stared back like a fish gasping for water.
"Umm...Connor. Wow. Thank you. You have been so wonderful to me. I have told you so much more than I ever 282
planned and it's such a relief to know that you believe me and you don't think I'm crazy."
Connor interrupted her and said, "I need to tell you something else, something that I should have told you long ago, but I was too much a coward to tell ye." His voice had thickened and deepened, the way it did when he was upset, and his accent was more pronounced. "I love ye, Mackenzie, I truly do. I am so sorry that I was such a fool before. I should have believed ye from the start, and I have treated ye abominably. Please, can ye forgive me?"
"You...love...me?" Mackenzie tried it out and the words didn't make any sense to her. A myriad of emotions flitted across her face; surprise, joy, anxiety, fear, until her face finally settled on stunned confusion. "But, Connor, you only married me to force the Campbell's hand and to keep me safe. You don't love me."
He was amused at her logic. "Aye, Mackenzie, I do." His eyes tightened and his tone changed. "I should never have hurt ye the way I did. But I canna take it back. I will show ye from this moment on how much I love ye. I need ye in my life, Mackenzie and I doona want ye to leave. I want ye to stay here. With me."
"You want me? To stay?" Her mind was having trouble comprehending this. Mackenzie wanted nothing more from life than to stay here with Connor, but how could she promise that when she was planning on leaving him for his enemy?
She couldn't. She was propped up on one elbow staring blankly down at Connor. His hand was still tangled in her hair, so he pulled her down to meet his very tender kiss.
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Once she was breathing hard, he broke the kiss, whispering against her lips, "I love you." He kissed her again.
"Stay with me?" His lips were on hers once more.
"I don't belong here Connor," she said it softly and looked away, so he wouldn't see how hard it was for her to say.
"I'd disagree, sweeting." Her eyes flew back to his; his voice was so tender.
When Mackenzie pulled away, she stared intently into his eyes for a long moment before a bemused smile touched her lips and she asked him, "You love me?"
His smile was warm, tender. "I do."
"Wow," she breathed. "Just, wow." And she kissed him back.
A long while later, the sun was slanting in from the west, Connor leaned over and trailed his fingers down Mackenzie's ribs and stomach. She raised her eyebrows at him.
His answering smile was boyish; it made him look younger. "Would you be wantin' to go for a ride?"
"On horses? Yay!" Mackenzie clapped her hands in anticipation.
Connor smiled at her obvious elation to such a simple thing. It seemed his new wife would be easy to please. Ha!
What was he thinking? Nothing was easy in this situation.
Still, it was nice to see her joy at the simple things. He had a basket packed for lunch already; it should be in the stables right now, provided his brother had done his part. Connor had planned a day of riding to see some of his favorite places on MacRae lands. He was hoping to take her to a spot he'd gone to a lot as a lad when he'd wanted to be alone. He was 284
beginning to understand some of the little things that made Mackenzie happy, but he wanted to uncover the secrets that made her sad, and those that caused her eyes to look miles away. Every now and then, he would catch her with a slightly sad and wistful gaze. He wanted to know what she was thinking.
Looking at her pull her sark over her head and quickly bundle her hair out of her face, Connor stood and walked slowly over to her. She glanced up at him with a question in her eyes, but he merely unbound her hair and ran his fingers through it.
"I prefer your hair down."
She smiled and told him, "I thought that women were supposed to wear these once they were married." She was holding up the kertch that Bronwyn had given her. Connor took it from her and tossed it across the room.
"I prefer your hair down," he repeated.
She laughed at him saying, "Alright, down it is."
Connor liked to watch her get dressed. It was so intimate.
He liked watching her fuss with her hair when she was nervous. He liked how her breasts strained against the thin silk of the sark. He liked how her legs looked as the sark drifted down to the floor, hinting at their shape. He liked watching her fumble with the petticoats; it was endearing.
And he liked how she needed him to help her lace up her stays and gown. He felt as if he could watch her all day and not tire of the task. It was staggering how in so little time, Mackenzie had come to absorb his every thought; even the mundane. 'Twas why it was imperative that the Campbell not 285
lay his hands on her and that she stay with him in his time.
He had come to love her, and the thought of her leaving him caused him physical pain.
The ride cleared his mind. Every now and then he would pause to point out something he thought would interest Mackenzie. He enjoyed watching her eyes widen as they saw the loch, or narrow as she tried to spot a bird. But he wished that he had had her contraption with him, the camera, was it?
Her face was fey-like in its beauty when they came to the spot where he planned their meal.
The trees opened up to showcase the high ragged mountains against the rare sunny sky, with lacy clouds topping their peaks. The mountains were broken by a long three-tiered waterfall splashing noisily into a deep glacial pool. The crystal clear water looked inviting, but when Mackenzie dismounted and ran to it, she discovered it was ice cold, it was October after all, and he chuckled at her quick gasp.
"Oh, Connor it's so beautiful here. Every time I see something here, a tree, the mountains, the water, I think these lands cannot possibly get any more beautiful, and then you show me a magical place like this. It is easy to become caught up in the beauty of the land, isn't it?"
"Aye." But Connor wasn't looking at the land, he was gazing directly at Mackenzie. He knew when she grasped his meaning because she blushed adorably and turned away.
Connor reached for the basket he had packed and when he joined Mackenzie it was to discover she had taken off her cloak and thrown it across the damp grass. She was forever 286
surprising Connor. She lay down on the cloak rather than sitting demurely as would the women of his time. He half-smiled to himself and wondered if he would really want her to be like that. The obvious answer was no. He wanted her as she was. Quirks and all. She rolled over onto her side to look at him.
"Aren't you going to sit?" She looked so happy laying down in the pale yellow sunlight.
Connor couldn't resist and teased her, "Are you sure that you are real? You look like a wood sprite, or a nymph."
Her shocked look turned into a dazzling smile.
"What?"
"Nothing, it's just that I've felt like this is some big fairy tale from the first minute...shouldn't that be my line? I feel like I'm going to wake up in my own time any moment now."
She paused. "That's why I'm trying to get the most out of every minute I have here." She glanced down, and looked up from beneath her lashes, like she did when she was nervous, he'd noticed. "With you," she breathed.
Connor was awestruck by how such a simple admission from Mackenzie had his heart pumping double-time. She wanted to be here with him. And his body responded to her closeness as he sat down next to her and cupped her face in his hand. Her skin was satin-smooth and soft as down. She turned her cheek into his palm and her eyes drifted shut. His thumb stroked slow circles on her smooth cheeks. He could feel her breath against his hand. It amazed him how such mundane things caused his body to respond to her; her breath coming and going, the breeze fluttering her curls 287
about her
face, the way her eyes darkened when she was in the heat of passion...he pressed his lips to hers and reveled in the low gasp that she inhaled as they touched. There was a distinctly male surge of pride flooding through his body as he understood that her reactions were only for him. He knew she was only for him. It was as if they had been made for each other. Connor had known from the first that he wanted her, and that the passion simmering beneath the surface once unleashed, would be unlike anything he'd experienced before.
What he had never guessed was that the two of them were so right for each other.
"Keep your eyes closed, Mackenzie," he whispered against her full lips.
Connor had a hard time tearing his lips from hers, but he wanted to make her call his name out; he wanted her crazy with desire. He lay down beside her and pressed her back into the soft grass. Slipping her gown to one side, he revealed her shoulder and trailed his lips from her shoulder back up to her ear, nipping lightly, and smiling against her throat as he felt her breath hitch. Connor brushed his lips against the arch of her throat, under her chin, and barely touched the corner of her mouth. He felt her turn slightly to meet his lips, but he just smiled and moved on to her cheeks, and then after kissing each of her eyelids, he touched his lips to the sensitive spot behind her ear. He could feel her pulse pounding beneath his lips and it thrilled him.
Connor loosened her laces and slipped the gown further down off her shoulders. He glanced up to make sure her eyes were still closed, they were, and he took her nipple through 288
the material of her gown. Only when he could feel her tremble in his arms did he slip his fingers under the velvet of her gown. She was breathing heavily now, and he yanked her gown to her waist. Slipping her arms out, she put her arms around his neck and tried to pull him up to meet her lips, but Connor gently pulled her arms from his neck and captured both her wrists with one hand, effectively pinning her to the ground. It also arched her back, giving him a better access to her breasts. He used his free hand to unlace her stays and he lifted her slightly to pull off her sark. Her naked body against the deep greens of his lands was intensely beautiful. Connor just looked at Mackenzie for a long moment. So long that Mackenzie opened her wide green eyes to gaze questioningly at him, but Connor merely smiled and swept his free hand over her eyes so they would close again.
His fingers continued the trail his mouth had set, and softly drifted down to her breast, avoiding temptation and just skimming the swell of her breast, they lingered along her hips and slowly traced their way to her soft thighs. He felt them quiver and clench in anticipation, but instead continued down her leg to her calf, gripping it and placing his mouth on her ankle. He dragged his lips so slowly back up the trail his fingers had left that Mackenzie's thighs were quivering when his lips found her. Connor softly skimmed her inner thighs with his lips, barely brushing against her. When he softly touched his lips to her core, she gasped and arched into his mouth, but he gripped her hips and held her down. He sucked and licked and thrust his tongue into her again and again until she was sobbing for release. Still, Connor refused to give in.
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He slipped a finger in and moved his mouth to her breast.
Mackenzie's chest was heaving in ragged gasps of air as Connor's tongue laved her full breasts. Only when Mackenzie was begging for him to join her did he finally shrug out of his plaid and shirt.
As Connor slid into her, he commanded, "Open your eyes Mackenzie. Look at me, and doona look away." He wanted to see into her eyes as she came.
Her heavy-lidded gaze was glazed over and unfocused and he took her in long, slow strokes until she was writhing beneath him. He felt her muscles tense and tighten around him and whispered,
"Wait. Not yet."
Mackenzie's unfocused gaze cleared and met his, her parted lips were trembling, but she nodded and held on long enough for Connor to rub his thumb across her swollen core.
He felt the moment she tightened around him and exploded, right before her eyes darkened to a deep forest green and she cried out his name in release. He joined her and they floated back down to Earth together.
For that split second her eyes were unguarded, Connor had seen what he'd needed to know; Mackenzie was still hiding something from him.
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Chapter Twenty Six
Although it was October and snow would fall soon, the cold didn't affect them. Their bodies were slicked in sweat and Connor threw his arm over Mackenzie as she rested her head against his chest. The cool, damp grass actually felt good to Connor. He propped himself up on one elbow and looked down at Mackenzie, who now rested against his arm.
"Mackenzie?"
"Yes?"
"You never answered my question."
A tiny crease appeared between her perfectly arched brows as she looked up at him. He noticed that her eyes looked troubled.
"What question?" She was stalling; she knew what he meant.
"I want you to stay with me, Mackenzie. Here in my time."
Her voice had a tinge of panic to it as she hedged, "But Connor, I can't stay here. I don't belong here." Mackenzie's eyes glanced down while she paused and drew in a deep breath before saying, "I want to go back to my own time."
She was lying, he was sure of it. He just didn't know why.
It made no sense. It sounded more like she was trying to convince herself, rather than him. Instead of arguing, as he wanted, he used logic. He knew logic worked better; arguing usually just made her more stubborn. So he merely pointed out a certain factor that he was sure she hadn't thought of.
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"But what if you are with child, Mackenzie? What will you do then?" He could tell the soft question was one she hadn't considered. Her eyes widened and he saw both fear and shock in their green depths.
"Pregnant?" she squeaked out. "Oh! I hadn't even thought...I mean, I can't be...I couldn't be..." she trailed off.
"Oh," she whispered, "What if I am?" Her panicked eyes flew back to his. "Oh Lord, Connor, what if I am?" Her hand instinctively dropped to her belly. "What would we do?" she whispered to herself. Mackenzie's eyes left his, lost in their own thoughts. He thought he saw a tear fall.
The naked panic Connor saw on her face saddened him.
She claimed to love him, but she didn't want his child.
"Would it be so terrible?" Connor softened his voice, trying to hide the misery he felt.
Her eyes refocused on his and she said, "Connor, it's not that I don't want the baby, but what if something happens.
What if this wasn't supposed to happen? What if we weren't supposed to happen? What if we mess up the whole space-time continuum thingie because we couldn't control ourselves? What if the world ends because we met? I can't even think about this...what if this is wrong?" her strained voice trailed off.
What could be wrong about this? Connor didn't understand what Mackenzie was so upset about. And Connor hadn't missed the fact that she still hadn't committed to staying with him.
When he'd seen that she was still hiding something from him, he'd tried to make her understand that he could be 292
patient and considerate, but she still was intent on keeping her secrets. Well, he would figure them out. And if he hadn't gotten her with child yet, he would. He wanted her tied to him every possible way, to make it harder for her to leave him. He didn't think that she could leave him, if she were going to have a baby. His baby. She had pushed his arm away, and stood to dress herself in silence. Connor watched her intently and thought that her sark looked a wee bit tight across her hips and her usually full breasts were straining against the fabric as well. Perhaps she already was with child. He had little knowledge of children, but his sister had complained of swollen breasts early on in her pregnancy.
While Connor didn't understand Mackenzie's reaction to the possibility of a child, he especially didn't understand what she had meant when she'd said that they shouldn't have
"happened." He glanced o
ver to her as she fumbled with her stays. She was lost in her own thoughts as Connor helped lace her up. Since she didn't appear to notice his assistance with her laces, he gathered up the remnants from the meal they'd barely touched, and prepared the horses.
Pregnant? Mackenzie couldn't believe that she hadn't thought of that. How could she be so stupid! Of course it was possible. She'd been here for two weeks already, and it's not like she could go pick up a box of condoms or something. It was one thing for the Campbell to kill her, but to kill the baby as well...she couldn't allow that. She wouldn't. But wait, she didn't even know if she was pregnant, so she squared her shoulders and tried to shake off the uneasy feelings. But she knew she was. Now that Connor had brought it to her 293
attention, she knew she was pregnant. Of course she was.
She wanted to laugh at the irony and unfairness of it all; she had found everything she'd never even known that she wanted here, two hundred years before she would even be born. She greedily wanted it all, too. How selfish could she be? She had to get to the Campbell's keep and stop his evil plan...but now she knew she had to survive this all. Her hand fell to her stomach again. She would stop him and she would make it out alive, but how? Her eyes darted to Connor. And at what cost?
Connor was silent on the ride home; and for once Mackenzie didn't try to break the silence. She was lost in the tangle of her own thoughts. She had vaguely noticed when he'd packed up their picnic and helped her mount her horse.
But it wasn't until they were well on their way home that she felt uneasy. Her horse seemed nervous, and she felt as if she was being watched, but she couldn't focus on anything other than her growing fear. What would happen to her if the Campbell found out she was pregnant? And that it was Connor's baby?
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Chapter Twenty Seven
The sound of something whizzing by her ear startled her, causing her horse to rear up, nearly throwing Mackenzie in the process. She held onto both the reins and her horse with a death grip and miraculously stayed astride. Connor was swearing under his breath as he yanked the reins from her hands and urged both horses into a gallop. Mackenzie knew something was wrong, but she had no idea what. Suddenly she was knocked backward, and a fiery pain radiated from her shoulder down her arm to her fingertips. She scrambled to stay mounted and reached with her right hand to feel what was wrong. Her stomach heaved at the warm, wet feeling that was becoming too familiar to her, before she felt the long shaft of an arrow jutting out from her left shoulder.