Recollections of Rosings

by Rebecca Ann Collins

  ***

  Lilian's wedding brought many members of the families together at Rosings Park.

  Jonathan Bingley and his family, arriving from Hertfordshire, brought with them Lilian's grandmother, Mrs Charlotte Collins, while Mr and Mrs Darcy were accompanied by their son-in-law Sir Richard Gardiner and their daughter Cassandra, for whom both Lilian and her mother had the highest admiration. They were deeply honoured that they had all accepted their invitations and travelled down to Kent for the occasion.

  But perhaps the most welcome of all their guests was Lilian's elder brother Matthew. His unexpected arrival, on account of his ship having to return to England following the sudden death at sea of her captain, brought both joy and tears. Lilian was overwhelmed to have her brother home to see her wed.

  For Catherine too, the return of her son, to whom she had been trying to write without success, brought relief. Now, he could meet Frank Burnett before being told that his mother was to marry the gentleman.

  With both her older children away overseas for many years, Catherine had grown particularly close to her youngest daughter. With Matthew home on leave, it was possible to feel again the pleasure of having most of her family around her. Catherine's happiness was almost complete.

  On Lilian's wedding day, it was clear to her mother that she was entering the marital state with more than the simple optimism of youth. In the year since her father's death, Lilian had grown in maturity; combining both good sense and sensibility, she had been a source of much comfort to Catherine. Yet, she had a degree of independence and had demonstrated clearly an intelligent awareness of her own circumstances.

  Young and eager for romance, she had accepted the proposal of marriage from John Adams in good faith, looking to the future with confidence, while giving every indication of understanding all the practical implications of her situation. Catherine enjoyed seeing her daughter's graduation to young womanhood and wished she'd had some of Lilian's self-assurance in her youth.

  She confessed as much to her sister as they stood a little apart from the guests, who crowded around the young couple.

  "Becky, had I possessed even half her confidence, I should never have been intimidated by Lady Catherine. I would have been less easily persuaded that she knew what was best for me… I may even have ignored her advice, when she declared it would be most imprudent to let Mr Burnett believe that I may welcome his attentions. Indeed, had I done as I felt inclined to do at the time, he may well have proposed and I may have accepted him all those years ago… all those wasted years…"

  As her sister turned to regard her, she added quietly, "He loved me then, Becky, and has ever since. Think how very different my life would have been had matters been permitted to run their course. But I was too young and compliant, never self-assured or strong enough to contest Her Ladyship's injunctions. I can blame no one but myself for my loss."

  Becky knew well the dangers of encouraging such dismal thoughts on the morning of Lilian's wedding; her sister could easily lapse into melancholy and that would never do. Tightening her fingers around Catherine's, she said quietly, "And if you had done, have you considered that you would not have been here, on this perfect morning, watching your lovely young daughter arrive at the church on the arm of her handsome brother? Have you thought of that, Catherine? Looking at your children, would you really have it different?"

  Startled by the thought, Catherine wrenched her mind away from contemplating the past to confront the present, saying with some vigour, "Certainly not, Becky, my children have been my entire world for many years. I have no regrets on that score, and though I dearly love Frank, it is my belief that I could not have loved him then, as well or as deeply as I do now, as he deserves to be loved. I was too callow and inexperienced in the ways of the world and whilst I may have been happy and enjoyed the romance of it, as a young girl would, I seriously doubt if I could have appreciated his true worth, for he is an exceptional man, Becky."

  Becky listened with interest; Catherine had never spoken so openly of her feelings before. She recalled the calm, almost matter-of-fact manner in which her sister had announced the news of her engagement to Dr Harrison. It had surprised both Becky and their younger sister, Amelia-Jane, that Catherine was not more excited by the prospect of marriage and she had said as much at the time to her friend Emily Gardiner.

  "I cannot believe she is so unmoved by it, Emily; yet she says she loves him. Is it possible?" Becky had said, but Emily had supposed that Catherine, who was almost twenty-nine at the time, may have been too sedate and proper to show her true feelings.

  "I do not think she would have agreed to marry him if she did not love him, Becky," she had said, reassuring her young friend.

  Yet, here she was, twenty years older, genteel, wise, and unquestionably much more serene in every way, but confessing her deep love for Frank Burnett and clearly exhilarated by the thought of marrying him.

  It was a remarkable conversion and Becky could not but marvel at the change in her sister.

  "He has profoundly transformed my life, Becky," Catherine admitted. "I do not mean in matters of art and literature alone, to which he has certainly opened my eyes; he has taught me also to look beyond the here and now, not to regard everything and everyone so seriously. I have learnt to laugh at others and at myself; he even lets me laugh at him! I could never have laughed at Dr Harrison, I was far too much in awe of him," she confessed and continued more softly, "Perhaps most particularly, he has taught me to enjoy the warmth and joy of loving, as I never have before. I was unaware of it, but I have never known what it is to love someone deeply, apart from my children, of course, and receive all of their love in return. It is quite a revelation to me. In past times, when my life seemed dull, I would hope for a better day on the morrow; with Frank, that day is a reality today. I owe him all this and whilst I still deplore Lady Catherine's deviousness in separating us, now that we are so delightfully reunited, I have no recriminations."

  Becky was astonished by her magnanimity.

  As the sisters turned to one another and smiled, the newly wedded couple moved out into the sunlit garden, surrounded by their guests, all wishing them well, and Becky saw Catherine's eyes fill with tears.

  Frank Burnett, who, having carried out his duties as best man, had chosen to remain discreetly in the background, seeing Catherine and Rebecca, moved to join them.

  As he approached, suddenly Catherine reached for her handkerchief.

  He saw her tears; unaware that they were other than the customary and predictable tears of the mother of the bride, he smiled and offered her his arm. "Shall we join the throng around the happy pair?" he asked, to which she replied, "Indeed, and share some of their joy."

  Becky smiled and watched them go, confident that her sister's future happiness was secure.

  ***

  Her own prospects for contentment were looking somewhat brighter, too.

  On the previous evening, Elizabeth and Mr Darcy, together with Jonathan Bingley and his wife Anna, had visited her at Edgewater.

  It had been an unexpected pleasure to show them around the property and hear both Mr Darcy and Jonathan comment favourably upon her decision to lease it. Lizzie too had seemed more amiable and friendly towards her; a rare circumstance indeed, for they had barely spoken since the dread-filled days of Josie's illness and death.

  Having admired the house and seen something of the grounds, which they all agreed needed further work, they had repaired to the sitting room and taken tea together as they talked of the plans for the parish school. Jonathan and Mr Darcy had been interested as Becky had explained, with enthusiasm, her desire to help her sister with the project.

  "I believe I could be of assistance with keeping the accounts, leaving Cathy with more time to organise the teaching," said Rebecca and Mr Darcy had expressed his appreciation, commending her on her decision.

  Elizabeth had made mention of her previous work at Mansfield, reminding everyone that Becky had been a very
successful and popular teacher at her mother's school for young ladies.

  "I can see no reason why you should not teach the girls, too, Becky," she had said. "Your mama always believed that you were her best teacher."

  Becky had coloured at such praise, especially coming from Elizabeth; yet she was clearly pleased to be so complimented. Perhaps, she thought hopefully, Lizzie had decided to regard her with a friendlier eye than before.

  As the wedding celebrations drew to a close, the Darcys and their party prepared to leave for London, where they would stay overnight prior to returning to Derbyshire. Their carriage waited for them, but before they left the house, Mr and Mrs Darcy invited the rest of the family to join them at Pemberley for Christmas.

  "It is quite some time since we have all been together at Christmas," said Elizabeth. "Georgiana and Dr Grantley will be with us, too, and we are looking forward to it very much. You are all welcome to join us at Pemberley on Christmas Eve."

  Catherine noted that Mrs Darcy had turned especially to Becky as she spoke, particular to include her in the general invitation. She was delighted, knowing the hurt that her sister had suffered.

  In happier times, Becky Tate had been a particular friend of Cassy Darcy's; both young women being about the same age, they had also shared many common interests. But this had ended when, contrary to Elizabeth's hopes, young Julian Darcy had married Becky's daughter, Josie. As their marriage had crumbled, the entire family, except perhaps their mother Charlotte, who was Elizabeth's special friend, had felt the coldness that had come between Lizzie and Rebecca. The terrible circumstances of Josie's death had only exacerbated the situation to the point where they had hardly spoken except in formal terms.

  Now, it seemed as if Elizabeth had decided to end their prolonged estrangement. It was especially pleasing to Catherine that she had chosen to do so on Lilian's wedding day.

  Catherine's own happiness at the courtesy shown to Frank Burnett by both Mr and Mrs Darcy was enhanced by the hope of a rapprochement between Becky and Elizabeth. She loved her sister and had the highest regard for Elizabeth; that they could be friends again was a source of great satisfaction to her. Looking across at her sister, she caught her eye and smiled; clearly Becky was pleased, too.

  ***

  When the wedded couple had departed on their honeymoon and the last of the guests had left, the two sisters retired upstairs to Catherine's room.

  Weary from the long day, they kicked off their shoes, shed their fine gowns for loose robes, and lay on the bed, as they had done when they were young girls, returning from a formal function at Rosings or a boring afternoon in church, attended dutifully but with reluctance.

  Becky could recall clearly the intimacy they had shared, when more often than not, she would confide and Catherine would counsel caution. Often they would indulge in girlish gossip and laughter until their mother came to urge them to be quiet. This time, there would be no one to reprimand them.

  Becky announced that she had brought her sister a "wedding present purchased in Paris"!

  "A present from Paris?" Catherine exclaimed and was urged to open it. When she did, she found within a pretty confection of silk and lace, embellished with ribbons, and as she held it up and looked at it, she glanced at her sister in some bewilderment and asked, "Becky, are you sure you have not made a mistake? Is this not a gown for Lilian?"

  At which Becky broke into peals of laughter, further confusing her sister, until she said, "Oh no, Cathy, it is not a gown for Lilian, it is a nightgown for you!"

  The depth and extent of the blush that suffused Catherine's countenance and flowed down her neck and shoulders was proof enough that no such thought had even entered her head.

  "A nightgown?" she cried and Becky replied, "Indeed, a nightgown for your honeymoon. You cannot go away to Europe on your wedding journey and wear the white cotton homemade things you wore at the rectory at Hunsford, Cathy—it will not do."

  There followed protestations from Catherine and much teasing and laughter about the nightwear she was accustomed to wearing and warnings that she must remember that Mr Burnett is not a clergyman, after which they subsided gradually into a more subdued mood.

  The sounds of the servants downstairs, clearing away the debris from the wedding breakfast, receded as they lay there, cocooned in a comfortable silence, each deep in her own thoughts.

  After some time, Catherine, turning over to regard her sister with serious eyes, asked in a quiet, tentative voice, "Becky, am I right… is it better now between you and Lizzie after all this time?"

  Her sister spoke, lying flat on her back, her eyes closed.

  "Yes, it has been a long time; I felt that she never understood my pain at losing Josie, she could think only of Julian. But I do believe Lizzie means us to be friends again. Perhaps, now that Julian is married again happily, she no longer blames me for his sorrow as she used to do. I am glad and I shall certainly behave as though this is the case. I bear her no grudge."

  "I am glad, too; Mama would like that, too," said Catherine. "Shall you go to Pemberley at Christmas then?" she asked, hoping Becky would say yes.

  She was not disappointed.

  "I probably shall. I cannot imagine that it will serve any useful purpose to refuse. Besides, what would I do alone down here? I might as well enjoy the hospitality of Pemberley and let Lizzie see that as far as I am concerned, the past is over and forgotten," said Becky, opening her eyes and regarding her sister. Then, raising herself on an elbow to look at Catherine, she asked, "And you, Cathy? Tell me, are you going to be very happy with your dear Mr Burnett?"

  Looking directly up into her sister's eyes, Catherine replied, "Oh yes, I am. I intend to be very happy with my dear Mr Burnett, that at least I can promise you, Becky. I have never been more certain of anything in my life."

  This time, there were no tears, only the blessed laughter that comes from deeply felt affection and contentment.

  End of Part Five

  An Epilogue…

  Two weeks later, with Lilian and Mr Adams still away on their wedding journey and young Matthew Harrison having returned to his ship, Catherine and Rebecca travelled to Hertfordshire to join their mother at Longbourn.

  Frank Burnett had already arrived at Netherfield House, at the invitation of Mr and Mrs Bingley. Enjoying there the comfortable elegance of their home, he could not fail to contrast the gracious life at Netherfield Park with the stiff formality that had been imposed upon everyone in the domain of Lady Catherine de Bourgh.

  An informal reception had been arranged, hosted by Jonathan and Anna Bingley, to celebrate the wedding of Catherine and Frank in the presence of a small gathering of close family and friends. Catherine's mother, aunt, and cousins, the Faulkners and Elliots, attended, while Frank Burnett's sister travelled down from Newcastle for the occasion and was so delighted with Catherine that she could not cease telling her brother what a fortunate man he was to be marrying such a lovely woman.

  "We had quite given up hope that Frank would ever marry," she declared. "We thought he'd decided to remain a bachelor for the rest of his life," as Frank and Catherine smiled and said nothing.

  The day turned out exactly as the couple had wished it to be.

  Catherine's marriage to Dr Harrison had been celebrated at Rosings, with Lady Catherine generously hosting the impressive function, presiding imperiously over the wedding breakfast attended by guests from around the county and beyond, many of whom were quite unknown to the bride or her immediate family.

  Apart from the scent of hundreds of roses, Catherine's recollections were of a long day with many formalities, meeting and greeting dozens of Lady Catherine's distinguished guests, which had left her quite exhausted. There had been no time for a honeymoon; Dr Harrison had an important report to write for the bishop, who was visiting the diocese. Consequently, they had gone directly to the parsonage at Hunsford and on the following morning, being Sunday, she had accompanied her husband to morning service. The solemn faces of
the congregation had matched her own mood of serious sobriety, as she had contemplated her future as the wife of the parson of Hunsford parish. Later they had travelled to Bath for a week's stay with Dr Harrison's family.

  This time, it was quite different.

  On awakening, Catherine had felt an unusual degree of elation, for which she could find no logical explanation except it was the day she was to marry Frank Burnett. Looking out across the unfamiliar lawns, the small park at Longbourn, pretty but quite unlike the grand grounds at Rosings, she wondered at her own excitement. She had to remind herself that she was not a young bride going to her groom. She had been married before and had three children, yet she could neither deny nor explain the tumult that assailed her as she thought what the day would bring.

  Catherine had no recollection of any similar feelings experienced before her marriage to Dr Harrison. In fact, she recalled, she had been calm, astonishingly so, as she had prepared for the wedding.