Gamer God: A LitRPG/GameLit Adventure
Page 5
Instead, it only seemed to make the horrific beast stronger, faster... and madder.
Of course, moron, I chided myself. It's not just a “spider,” it's a vampiric entity. It feeds off dark energy. That's why the stone can inflict damage on other players, but not critters from the extra-dimensional “Void Beyond” like Web-Face here. So think. Stop being “Sid” and start being Sydnar. What do vampires and other Void natives hate?
The answer came to me immediately.
“Solar Flare!” I bellowed.
A blinding burst of sunlight lit up the jungle, and the monster roared in pain, shambling backward on its dozen legs. It was fervently blinking red and trying to escape.
“Oh no you don't,” I said through clenched teeth. Now that it was weak and on the run, it was time to finish it off... as a warning to the others of its kind, or maybe just to make myself feel a little stronger, a little less frightened and vulnerable in the middle of all this surreal shit.
“Storm of Lances!” I called out, hoping it would work.
An array of sharp wooden spears appeared, launching themselves at the Aracula. Several of them hit their target, pinning it to the ground. The creature thrashed and wailed, turning entirely red before blinking out of existence completely.
“Nice,” I congratulated myself, feeling the experience points flow into me. “And now, to the victor belong the spoils.”
It had been my experience that whenever I vanquished a monster like the Aracula – one whose hunting tactics were to lie in wait and prey on gamers passing through – there was usually a treasure trove of useful items that had been left behind by the deceased players.
When I searched the underbrush, I wasn't disappointed.
There was a pile of enticing stuff just waiting to be picked up: Swords, knives, tool kits, magic artifacts... and best of all, Health and Magic Potions. I mostly concerned myself with those last two since I found I already had most of the other items in my Bag of Cherishing.
They looked like they'd be enough to keep me going for a long time. And if I had just been playing the game like normal, that would have been an exciting thought.
Instead, it made me feel more uneasy.
How much longer could this dream possibly go on? It felt like it had lasted the better part of a day. Had I slept through my alarm? Was I in a coma? I knew that sometimes I'd had dreams which felt like they had taken place over hours but had actually occurred in the span of a few minutes. Even those hadn't felt like this, though.
Nothing I'd ever experienced before had felt like this. And my mind was starting to feel the strain of it.
Was I going off the deep end?
I'd never had any history of mental illness. I had been depressed about work and pissed at Donal for ruining my fun, but surely that wasn't enough to suddenly send me to a straitjacket, was it?
Before I could think on it further, I heard a rustling in the forest ahead of me and braced myself for another attack... more Araculas, or dinosaurs, or players who wanted to take my stuff.
Instead, Quorull emerged from the shadows, followed by Donal.
“Coral!” I laughed, running over to her and giving her a big hug. “Ha, that's funny! I wonder if we're having the same dream?”
She pulled away, looking at me strangely. “'Dream?' Sid, what are you talking about? You didn't show up for work, you didn't call in, you haven't been answering your phone... everyone's pissed, they were talking about firing you! Have you been playing the game all day?”
My heart dropped into my stomach. “You mean... I'm not asleep? This is really happening to me?”
“Uh-oh, viewers!” Donal commented jovially, clearly addressing his streaming fans. “Looks like our boy Sid has succumbed to the torment of madness! Apparently, not everyone's cut out for a life of digital adventuring like yours truly, eh?”
“Oh, give it a rest, Donal,” Quorull snapped, turning her attention to me again. Now that I was actually face to face with her avatar, I had to admit that she was an even more beautiful and impressive figure than I'd previously realized, especially with her facial expressions corresponding so closely to Coral's. “What's happening to you, Sid? What made you decide to just blow off work and do this instead? I mean, don't get me wrong, I've been tempted to do that too, plenty of times, but...”
“No, you don't understand.” Now that I had been told this wasn't a dream, it made me feel even weirder about verbalizing what was going on. But I trusted Coral more than anyone else in the world, and if anyone was in a position to help me figure out what was going on, it was her.
“Then help me understand,” she coaxed. “This isn't like you, Sid. I've gotta say, I was really worried about you today, especially when you didn't even respond to my texts. Go ahead, check it. You've probably got twenty messages from me.”
“That's just it. I can't check it, because I can't reach it, because I'm not at my desk. I'm not even in my apartment.”
Quorull frowned. “Then where are you playing from?”
I glanced over at Donal, wishing I had some privacy. But somehow, I doubted asking him to step away for a few minutes would work. So I took a deep breath and said, “I'm not 'playing.' I'm actually in the game. Like, not seeing it on my screen, not controlling it from the outside... I'm trapped in here. For real.”
Her jaw dropped. “Sid, come on, that's not funny. You're scaring me.”
“It's scaring me too!” I insisted. “I don't know how this happened or how the hell I got here, but this right here? This person you're interacting with? It's not my avatar, it's really me! I'm standing here with you in this jungle right now, and I don't know how to get out!”
Donal threw his head back and cackled uproariously. “Well, there you have it, folks at home! It seems as though some goobers will say any stupid crap at all, just to sound the least bit interesting! Yeah, cool story, Pinocchio, but we're not buying it. So stop trying to turn my Twitch broadcast into a ridiculous shit show with your made-up stories, and let's go find the Empress.”
“Knock it off, Donal, you don't know what you're talking about,” Quorull told him harshly. “I've known Sid a long time, and he's not the kind of person who just makes stuff up like this.”
Donal shrugged. "Then he's on drugs, or he's insane. Either way, he's wasting our time. We've got monsters to kill and a lot of ground to cover, so..."
“He doesn't do drugs,” Quorull mused, looking me over carefully. “Sid, I'm sorry, but I have to ask: Is this... I mean, are you having a nervous breakdown here? Do you need help?”
“No, I'm not having a nervous breakdown,” I assured her, “and yes, I do need help, that's what I've been trying to tell you! I don't know what's happening to me, and I'm terrified out of my mind! Since I've been here, I've had to fight off three kids who wanted to take my stuff from me, plus a goddamn Aracula! If I stay here much longer, who knows what the hell else I'm going to have to deal with? I want to go home!"
My voice was rising with panic, but I didn't care. The uneasy feeling that had been drifting through me ever since I'd found myself here was suddenly gripping me, paralyzing me, making me feel like I was spiraling out of control.
“You took on an Aracula all by yourself?” Donal sneered. “Now I know you're lying. I've seen you fight, and frankly, Sid, you're just not that good.”
“Yeah, well, it's a little different when you're actually fighting for your own survival and don't know if you can re-spawn!” I answered sharply. “Instincts kick in, and you find yourself doing things you wouldn't have imagined otherwise!”
His face fell. "All right, come on, it's time to drop this whole thing. It's not funny, it's not entertaining, it just sounds like a bunch of fan-fic gibberish, and it's going to confuse the hell out of my audience. Not cool."
“I keep telling you, Sid isn't like that,” Quorull reminded him. “And he's always seemed mentally stable to me.”
"So you believe me, Coral?" I pleaded.
She opened her mouth, t
hen closed it again. It was harder to read her face now that she was an animated Night Elf, but it looked like she might actually be on the verge of saying yes.
Before she could, though, several shapes rippled in the dark jungle around us.
I peered in their direction, but for some reason, my eyes couldn't seem to focus on them properly. They were a series of shimmering blurs that appeared and disappeared, making it impossible to keep track of them. I saw leafy patterns, dark limbs, the flash of an angry eye here and there. The effect was disorienting, not to mention creepy.
“What's going on?” Donal asked. “Who's out there? Show yourselves, dammit, or I'll kill the lot of you!”
In a classic example of “Careful What You Wish For,” the creatures surrounding us complied.
There were over a dozen of them. They were tall and skinny, with large bald heads and faces that seemed featureless except for a pair of wrathful yellow orbs. Their skin was loose and baggy, and the colors were mottled and constantly shifting. They held long, jagged spears.
Without seeing the numbers displayed over their heads, I could still somehow sense that their experience points were quite high, making them incredibly dangerous.
“Who are you?” Quorull asked. She had raised her bow and was drawing back a poison-tipped arrow, and Donal was brandishing his impossibly-huge sword. But it was no use, and they both knew it. There was no conceivable way for us to overpower them all.
"We are the Chameleon Clan," one of the figures answered. Even though it didn't have a mouth, the sides of its neck flapped like gills, indicating that his voice was coming from them. "We serve the Empress Erinye. She has bid us bring you to her at once."
Chapter Five
“You're not taking us anywhere!” Donal countered hotly. “And if you try, we'll kill every last one of you!”
Quorull sighed. “Donal, for God's sake, use your head. The game wouldn't send a bunch of dudes it knows we can't possibly win against unless it wants us to follow them, so we can get to the next plot point in this quest. They want to take us to meet the Empress, right? Which is what we were trying to do anyway?”
“Ah. Right. Yes. Of course. I knew that.” Donal cleared his throat uncomfortably, and I knew that he had been talking tough to pander to his violence-hungry viewers. “Lead the way then, Chameleons!”
I rolled my eyes, allowing the lanky tribesmen to lead us through the jungle. As we stepped back into the sunlight of a clearing, we passed a series of impressive-looking ruins – crumbling white stone edifices jutting out of the foliage like sun-bleached fangs. At their bases, there were ancient statues depicting snarling monsters with sharp teeth, splayed claws, lolling forked tongues, and bat-like wings.
As always, I had to admit that the overall design of WarriorWorld just got more and more impressive with each new quest. I'd have been excited by these sights if my day hadn't already been so damn odd and off-putting.
The more we walked and looked around, the more I realized that the ruins weren't placed randomly. Rather, they were arranged in a series of circles that formed a spiral, their walls drawing closer and closer to each other until they became a single temple-looking structure in the center. A series of stone steps led up to a high throne, reminding me of the Lincoln Memorial.
Except somehow, I got the distinct impression there wouldn't be a statue of a dead president waiting for us at the top. (Although everything else had been so weird that day that I almost wouldn't have been surprised if there were.)
More of the Chameleons were sitting and standing around the temple, watching us with their eerily smooth faces. There were plenty of other digital abominations milling about as well – a hodgepodge of different monsters from previous quests, as well as a collection of creatures that looked not unlike the sculptures we'd passed on the way in. They were hooting curiously, hopping around on their knuckles and wingtips like the flying monkeys from The Wizard of Oz.
She's supposed to be “Empress of the Furies,” I thought, so I guess those are them.
When we reached the top of the stairs and saw Erinye sitting in her tall chair, I realized that the references to that movie didn't end there. Her skin was the same color green as the Wicked Witch of the West, and she had the same aquiline nose, the same scowl and imperious bearing. Her shiny black hair was done up in a top knot, revealing rows of horns protruding from her skull like a spiky crown. Her bat wings were draped over the top of her seat like a cape.
And oh my God, her breasts were comically large.
Unlike the frayed black dress the Wicked Witch was known for, Erinye's ensemble was a lot more revealing – it looked like something a dominatrix would wear, all straps and studs, with thigh-high boots that had cruel spiked heels. Her gargantuan cleavage was barely being held in place by the ribbons of sheer fabric that crisscrossed them. The points of her nipples were protruding so visibly that it was almost embarrassing. She was, without a doubt, the fantasy of horny gamers everywhere come to life.
“Ugh, seriously?” Quorull murmured next to me, sounding disgusted. “Girls play these games too, you know. Sheesh.”
“So,” Erinye announced, draping one of her long green legs over the armrest of her throne, “more outsiders have come to invade our territory.”
Donal fell to one knee dramatically. “My sweet lady, my comrades and I meant you no offense! The truth is that word of your tremendous beauty has traveled far and wide... and so I was moved to see your fair visage in person, that I might woo you and become your royal consort.”
I grimaced at him. “Really, dude? Seducing her? That's your play here?”
“Hey, shut up, man,” he answered under his breath. “I figure the designers gave her melons like those for a reason, so I'm going with it. Besides, trust me: If I can get my fuck on with that green bitch, my followers are gonna adore me.”
“Since when does WarriorWorld let you have sex with the NPCs?” Quorull asked skeptically.
“I don't know, it's a new quest, so maybe the rules have changed!” he countered. “It's worth a try, at least!”
Erinye chuckled. “Many travelers before you have come to flatter me thusly. All have had their entrails slowly devoured by my beloved subjects.”
Something about the last thing Donal had said clicked into place for me: Yes, this was the most recently released quest, and it was centered around her. And nothing like this had happened to me until I had started on this newly-added section of the game.
So what if the rules had changed with the introduction of this new mission, and she was the key to this somehow? What if what had happened to me had something to do with her?
I knew it was a long shot, but I had to try.
“Please, Empress Erinye, listen to me,” I pleaded. “My name is Sid Coleo, and I work IT for a living. I'm just a normal person. But what you need to know about me is that I'm not like the others who have come here, all right? They were all just playing this game, but I'm actually living inside of it. Something is very wrong here, and I don't know what it is. I need your help. Can you tell me what's going on? Do you have any idea why I'm trapped in this world or what I need to do to get out?"
“Cut that shit out, Sid!” Donal growled. “My followers have been wanting to see me reach this part of the game, and you're ruining it with your delusional crap!”
“She's new here, all right?” I countered. “So maybe she's different from the rest of the NPCs! Maybe she has some knowledge of the outside world!”
Erinye stood up suddenly, flexing her wings and regarding me with cold white eyes. She must have been well over six feet tall. Slowly, she walked down the steps until she had reached me. Then she leaned down, peering at my face.
“Curious,” she said. “You appear to be a wizard, yet you babble the far-fetched tales of a bard. Do you seek to confuse and trick me with all these unfamiliar words and requests for my aid? What sort of warrior are you, then, to resort to such peculiar tactics?” She didn't sound angry, just bemused.
Erinye chuckled darkly. “Do you hear that, my subjects?” she asked the others. “This little man wants to go home!”
The monsters laughed and chattered mockingly, pointing at me.
“Guards,” she went on, “show this wriggling worm and his cohorts to their new 'home!' See to it that they're made comfortable, ha!”
The Chameleons leveled their staves at us again, poking at us so we'd move in the right direction.
Well, so much for that idea.
"Thanks a lot, Sid, you dipshit," Donal said sourly. "I finally find the Empress, and you have to ruin it all. Why couldn't you have just shut the hell up and let me do everything like you always do? You know I'd have let you keep any potions and stuff I got from finishing the quest. Why do you have to be such a selfish dick?"
“Hey, that's enough, Donal,” Quorull interjected. “Can't you see there's something wrong with him today? He's not himself.”
“No, I'm not myself!” I burst out. “That's the problem! I'm Sydnar the goddamn Sorcerer for some reason! How is this happening to me? What am I gonna do?”
“I don't know,” Quorull said in her most soothing tone, “but we'll figure it out together, okay? I promise.” From the sound of her voice, she still didn't quite believe me, but she was determined to talk me through whatever psychotic episode I was experiencing.
Which, honestly, was still the most plausible explanation for all this. So why was I so certain that it wasn't what was happening? Why was I so sure that I really had somehow been transported to WarriorWorld?
That's the way it goes with psychotic episodes, though, isn't it? I reminded myself. They seem completely real when you're having them. Even if you're seeing demons or ghosts or whatever and you know it can't possibly be true, your brain will still convince you it is. That's what's so scary about them.
“I should never have hung around you two,” Donal moped. “I figured playing the game next to a couple of total losers would make me look even cooler by comparison, but instead, all you do is mess things up for me. You both suck.”