Gamer God: A LitRPG/GameLit Adventure

by P. J. Frost

  Coral squeezed my shoulder. “No. It's not. And I am truly sorry for your loss. I know how important she was to you, especially at the end. But if it's any consolation, nothing they've done to her – nothing they could do – could ever erase what she did to save you. Or how she felt about you.”

  I patted her hand. “Thanks. Anyway, I guess you're probably getting a bit sick of hanging out here, huh?”

  She winced, embarrassed. “If I'm being totally honest? I could use a few hours to chill out on my own before going back into work tomorrow. All this has really taken a lot out of me. But only if you're sure you'll be okay here alone?”

  I wasn't sure of that at all. But after everything she'd already done for me, I felt like it would be selfish to ask more of her. “No, yeah, I'll be fine. Go get some rest, yeah? I'll see you first thing tomorrow.”

  She gave me a peck on the cheek, then gathered her things and headed out.

  I grabbed a few leftover slices of pizza from the fridge and wolfed them down cold, then flopped face-down into bed.

  So that was it. It was all over.

  And there was no physical evidence that it had ever actually happened at all.

  What if it didn't happen? I asked myself. Most of it could probably be explained away if you were really determined enough. What if the whole thing was some kind of complete nervous breakdown, or the result of some chemical imbalance in my brain? What if I hallucinated being inside the game, and the seizure I'd suffered when it was turned off was a sort of psychosomatic response or a form of epilepsy?

  Sure, Coral had seen the Curator, and the Mountains of Mortiis at the edge of the game's programmed borders. But were any of those things particularly strange in and of themselves? They might have just been previously-unseen elements of the game that we had stumbled upon.

  And as for Erinye's odd behavior – the game's designers were always trying to make their NPCs more realistic and adaptable, right? Maybe all I'd seen was evidence of that.

  So if I were truly committed to dismissing it all for the sake of my sanity, I could do it.

  I could chalk it up to some momentary lapse in my mental health. I could go seek therapy, tell it all to some shrink who would break it all down into psychological symbolism, and go on medication. I could preserve what was left of my sanity and try to rebuild it instead of spending my life haunted by the specter of the impossible. I wouldn't have to go through the rest of my years trying to reconcile the wholly surreal experience and deal with it – always wondering if I would ever wake up to find myself “back in the game” again.

  It was tempting, certainly. To be able to just let it all go in a practical sense and get back to my life like it had never happened.

  Except I knew I couldn't bring myself to do it.

  Because as crazy as it seemed, the feelings I'd had for Erinye had been real to me... more real, perhaps, than any I'd ever had for anyone else before. I refused to let go of that. Maybe the coders had erased the memory of our time together from her mind, but they couldn't erase it from mine.

  No one could. Not as long as I remained determined to carry them with me always.

  I slept deeply that night. Part of me had expected to dream of WarriorWorld – maybe even wanted to, so I could briefly be reunited with the version of Erinye I had come to care for. Instead, I didn't have any dreams at all. Or at least, none I could remember.

  I got up and went through my usual morning pre-work routine. Except that before my adventures inside the game, I had generally just gone through the motions – basically sleep-walking, not even fully registering what I was doing.

  Not this time, though.

  This time, I forced myself to be acutely conscious of every act and sensation. I took an extra moment to run my thumb over the bristles of my toothbrush, feeling the way they tickled my skin. I was aware of every time I breathed in and out, every surface my hands touched, every smell or sound that connected me to the world around me. It was the only way I could truly be certain that I was tethered to reality.

  I continued this mental exercise as I walked to the CTA station and boarded the train that would take me to my office.

  It seemed silly, even trivial, to worry about what would happen when I got there after I had spent days fighting monsters and fearing for my life. Even so, I was skittish. I knew I'd have to answer questions about why I didn't show up or call in on Friday. I'd be written up for that transgression, or maybe even fired.

  Good, I thought. I almost hope they do fire me. It would be just the kick in the pants I've needed to find a different job. One where I can actually apply my love for computers and technology. One that doesn't make me feel like blowing my brains out at the end of each day.

  I walked in, expecting one of my supervisors to get in my face immediately and make a huge scene in front of my co-workers. Sure enough, one of them – a smarmy dick named Kyle – saw me from across the lobby and marched toward me.

  But instead of yelling, he said, “Thank God you decided to show up today, Sid! We were totally lost without you on Friday! IT calls kept coming in from all over the building, and there was no one to handle them!”

  “Yeah, sorry about that,” I replied uncertainly. “I had a, um...”

  "Never mind where you were, you're here now, and that's all that matters!" he cut in. "Do me a favor and get to your desk as soon as you can, all right? Lisa From Accounting is on hold, she needs to talk to you right away." Before I could answer, he clapped me on the shoulder. "Thanks, Sid! You're a lifesaver."

  As I trudged over to my workspace, I heard Erinye's final words to me echoing in my head: I love you, Sid Coleo! In this world or any other, you will always be my hero! Remember that, no matter what!

  I will, Empress, I promised silently, picking up the phone. “Hey, this is Sid. What's up?”

  “Finally!” Lisa From Accounting exclaimed. “I haven't been able to get any work done since I got in this morning! I feel like I've been on hold for a goddamn hour!”

  “Well, you're not on hold anymore, so how about telling me what I can do for you?”

  “It's my computer,” she answered. “It won't turn on.”

  I sighed heavily. “Okay. Are you sure it's plugged in?”

  “Yes.”

  I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling a headache coming on.

  This was going to be a long day.

  Thank You

  Holy shit. You did it.

  You actually read the whole book.

  I hope you enjoyed the ride with Sid!

  I can’t thank you enough for taking a chance on this Nerd, and reading Gamer God! The first book in my Nerds FTW Universe. If you enjoyed it, please share it with friends and leave a review.

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  About the Author

  P.J. Frost writes addictive and humorous LitRPG/GameLit Adventure, and High Fantasy.

  A lifelong gamer, P.J. still believes that Vanilla WOW was the best version of the game, Coke is better than Pepsi, and that Nerds will inherit the earth…

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