Showdown

by Amy Elizabeth

  She considered it for a minute. “I’ve been low-key my whole life. Maybe it’s time I loosened up a little.”

  Tommy grinned at the thought of it. He cupped her face in his hands and leaned over to kiss her before he reluctantly drew back. “I need to get going.”

  “I know.”

  “See you tomorrow?”

  Liz nodded and smiled up at him. “I love you.”

  As often as she said it, he had yet to tire of those words. “I love you, too,” he assured her.

  He drove home with a smile on his lips, trying to envision the upcoming trip. The guys would show him a good time, of course, but their fun would probably amount to a few drinks and a few laughs around a poker table.

  The girls, on the other hand…

  Anything could happen when Allison and Rebecca were together. Especially in a city like Las Vegas.

  Tommy backed his truck to the barn and stepped into the snow, silently groaning at the thought of hauling dozens of fifty-pound feed bags into the hayloft. Before he could close his door, though, a tiny flurry of fur and teeth and wagging tails attacked his ankle. He stared at the puppy in bewilderment, wondering if he’d driven to the wrong ranch.

  “Dakota!” came Rebecca’s voice.

  Nope. He was definitely in the right place.

  He leaned over and scooped up the squirming fur ball just as Rebecca appeared from the barn aisle. “I see you met our new mascot.”

  “Oh, is that who this is?” he said, grinning as the puppy licked his cheek. “Well, hi there, Dakota. You’re gonna be running the place from now on, huh?”

  “That depends,” Rebecca replied. “How do you feel about taking orders from a girl?”

  Tommy raised a brow. “Don’t I already do that?”

  She laughed and playfully swiped his shoulder as he knelt to set Dakota in the snow. Instantly the puppy bolted, chasing some imaginary creature around the corner of the barn. Tommy stood and glanced over at Rebecca, relieved to see a smile on her face.

  These days he never knew what he was going to get. Sometimes she showed up in the barn and seemed like her usual self; other times, he could tell that she’d been crying.

  Those were the days that were hardest for him.

  “So a puppy, huh?” he asked, brushing past her to drop the tailgate.

  She leaned her elbows against his truck. “It was a spur-of-the-moment idea. I thought it’d be good for him, you know?”

  Tommy nodded as he hopped up into the bed. “And was it?”

  “I think so, yeah.”

  He paused midmotion and glanced at her, but she wasn’t looking at him. Her eyes were fixed on the farmhouse, and there was still a trace of a smile tugging at her lips.

  “You look good, Bec.”

  Only when she turned to him in surprise did he realize that he’d said it aloud. “I mean, you look…happy,” he quickly added. “Happier than you’ve been.”

  “It’s been a good day,” she said, pushing herself away from the truck. “Do you want me to get Alec down here to help you?”

  “Nah,” he replied, already hoisting the first feed bag onto his shoulder. “This won’t take me long.”

  “Okay. We took care of afternoon feed, by the way.”

  “You guys didn’t have to do that.”

  “We wanted to.” She smiled up at him. “See you in the morning?”

  Tommy nodded. “Thanks.”

  Rebecca turned and called for Dakota, who scampered through the snow towards her. She leaned over and scooped up the puppy, cradling her in her arms as she walked up to the farmhouse.

  Tommy paused to watch her go, feeling that same familiar ache in the deepest part of his chest. It was moments like this that brought his life into painfully sharp focus; moments like this that made him realize his one fundamental flaw.

  As happy as he was with Liz–and as much as he loved her–he still hadn’t found a way to fall out of love with Rebecca.

  *

  Dakota was good for Alec, Rebecca decided.

  She’d purchased the puppy on a total whim, hoping that the fluffy bundle of energy would spark an emotional response in her husband, and she had. He didn’t retreat into Walter’s room after dinner, nor did he disappear into one of his tragic nineteenth-century novels. Instead he grabbed an old sock, got down on the floor, and played tug-of-war with Dakota until the sock was in shreds.

  Rebecca finally scooped up the puppy and galloped upstairs, hoping that Alec would follow them. He did. They crawled under the covers and Dakota hopped up to join them, curling into a ball on their duvet. Soon the dog was snoring, exhausted from her homecoming, which elicited a quiet laugh from Alec. Rebecca studied his face as he laughed, suddenly realizing how much she’d missed the sound. Then he leaned over to kiss her goodnight, careful not to disturb the puppy, before he switched off the light.

  When Rebecca awoke in the morning, she was consigned to the very edge of the bed while Dakota and Alec had sprawled out across the length of the mattress. It wasn’t exactly the stuff of fairy tales, but it was the first time in a long time that she’d woken up beside her husband.

  Like she’d told Tommy, it was a good day.

  The rest of the week was even better. Dakota settled right into her role as barn dog, dutifully following them around while they worked. One afternoon they saddled up Star and Onyx and the puppy bounded alongside them, dancing in circles around the horses’ legs. Rebecca and Alec laughed the entire ride, trying to decide if Dakota thought that Star and Onyx were big dogs or if she thought that she was a tiny horse.

  Either way, the puppy seemed right at home, and she was doing a fantastic job at lifting Alec’s spirits. He wasn’t his old self by any stretch, but he was more connected to the present than he’d been since Scottsdale. One minute he was on the phone with Jeff and Jake planning the bachelor party; the next he was down in the barn working with Tommy.

  One night he even came up behind Rebecca in the kitchen. “Anything I can do to help?” he asked, sliding his arms around her waist.

  Just keep doing that, she wanted to say. His embrace felt so good that she didn’t want to give him a task. She leaned her head against his shoulder, inviting him to kiss her neck, and tried not to feel disappointed when he didn’t.

  “You can peel the potatoes,” she said.

  They prepared dinner together–something else that hadn’t happened for a while–before they sat down at the table. Dakota curled up at their feet to complete the domestic scene, tucking her nose into her tail and promptly falling asleep.

  “I love her, Bec,” Alec said, grinning down at her pointed ears. “I’m so glad you got her.”

  After dinner, Alec retreated into the living room while Rebecca tidied up the kitchen. She figured he was reading, so she was surprised when she headed through the foyer and found him staring at the fireplace instead.

  “Can we talk?”

  His question stopped her in her tracks. “Of course,” she said, hoping she didn’t appear too eager as she made her way to the couch.

  Alec waited until she sat beside him before he continued. “There’s someone coming by tomorrow morning. An assessor from the county office.”

  Rebecca frowned. “What for?”

  “I haven’t had the property appraised since I took out my business loan. That was almost ten years ago.”

  “Oh. Are you due for a reassessment?”

  Alec shook his head. When he remained silent, an uneasy feeling crept into Rebecca’s stomach. “Are you looking to refinance?” she asked.

  “No.” He drew in a deep breath. “I’m looking to sell.”

  Chapter 12

  For a long moment, Alec couldn’t believe that he’d said it aloud.

  All week he’d been wondering exactly how he would say it, and he supposed it could have come out worse. They were without a doubt the four scariest words he’d ever said, and there was no way to soften the blow of their impact.

  It was a stateme
nt that would ultimately affect their marriage, their livelihood, and every aspect of the rest of their lives.

  “You’re looking to sell what, exactly?” Rebecca asked. “The house? The land? Or the business?”

  Alec swallowed hard. “All of it.”

  She was visibly stunned, as he’d expected her to be. Automatically he reached for her hand, only to have her pull it from his grasp. It was his turn to be stunned; Rebecca had never withdrawn from his touch.

  “All this time I thought you were just missing your father,” she said. “But this is what’s really been eating away at you, isn’t it?”

  He gave a small nod. She stared at him for another minute before she rose from the couch and paced a slow circle around the living room.

  “How long have you wanted to do this?”

  “A long time.”

  “How long is a long time?”

  He finally released his breath. “When my parents were still together, I used to pray every night that they’d have another kid, one who would want to stay here and take over this place. But they didn’t, so I knew once my mother left that the decision would fall on me one day.”

  Rebecca’s expression didn’t change. “So twenty years,” she said, her voice barely a whisper. “Twenty years you’ve felt this way.”

  Alec nodded.

  “And in all the time that you and I have been together, it never occurred to you to mention this to me?”

  “It was never an option until now. I did what I had to do for my father, and I’m proud of the quality of life I was able to give him. But since he’s been gone, I’ve been sitting here every night wondering what in the hell we’re still doing here.”

  Her mouth dropped open. “Alec, this is our home! This is our life. I mean…I know you had other things in mind for yourself, but it never dawned on me that you would want to sell this place. It never occurred to me that we wouldn’t spend the rest of our lives here.”

  He figured she’d say as much, but that didn’t make the words any easier to hear. “I know,” he said softly. “Which is why it’s taken me this long to admit it. I know how you feel about this place, Bec. And if there was anything I could do to make myself feel the same way, I would. I want to love it here the way my father did. I’ve been trying to force that feeling my whole life, but it’s never happened. So I think it’s time to accept the fact that it’s not going to.”

  Rebecca crossed her arms over her chest. “So that’s it, then? You’re going to put the ranch on the market, and I don’t have any say in it?”

  “Of course you do. Why do you think we’re talking about it?”

  “Well, it sounds to me like you’ve already made up your mind. I mean, there’s someone coming out to do an appraisal–”

  “And it’s just an appraisal. That’s all. I haven’t spoken to any realtors yet. And even if I do…”

  His voice trailed off when she turned to the fireplace. He had his whole speech planned out; he’d explain that even if they did advertise the property, the chances of it ever selling were slim. Ten years ago, the ranch was already worth a fortune, and property values in the county had soared in the past decade…not to mention that he’d built a highly lucrative business in the interim.

  The chances of someone coming along whose dream was to purchase a guest ranch–and had the money to do it–were incredibly small. As much as Alec didn’t want to admit it, there was a very real possibility that the ranch would never sell and they would end up spending the rest of their lives here.

  Looking at Rebecca’s expression, though, he realized that she didn’t care about the technicalities. All she cared about was that he wanted to get rid of the only place she’d ever viewed as home.

  Alec rose from the couch and stepped over to her, wordlessly wrapping his arms around her. She didn’t pull away this time, but she didn’t return his embrace either. He could almost feel the chill rolling off her as she leaned her face against his shoulder.

  “Talk to me, Bec,” he whispered. “Tell me what you’re thinking.”

  “I’m thinking that you’re a little young to be having a midlife crisis.”

  He pulled back to look at her. “Is that what you think this is?”

  “That’s what it sounds like.”

  Alec took a moment to formulate his response. “I know it might not seem like it, but I’ve been thinking a lot about us. And a lot about you. I know you haven’t been happy lately, and I know it’s because of me. But you’ve seen me when I’m away from here. You know how different I am when I’m somewhere else–”

  “Yeah, I do. And what I don’t understand is why. What is it about this ranch that you hate so much? What is it about our home that’s so terrible?”

  He cringed when he saw tears welling in her eyes. She rarely cried, so whenever she did it pierced the deepest part of him.

  Alec leaned closer and pressed his lips to her forehead. “You are the only good thing that has ever come from this place. Everything else that I’ve had here is gone. And every day when I wake up, I’m reminded of it all over again. I try to picture the good times, but when I’m in this house, all I can think of is everything I’ve lost. Even the memories that you and I have made aren’t enough to overshadow the bad ones.”

  He tilted her face up so he could see her eyes. “I’m exhausted, Bec. Mentally and emotionally. I don’t know how much longer I can physically keep doing this, either. There’s not a day that goes by that my shoulder doesn’t ache. And my ankle never did heal right from last summer. I try not to complain, but when I get up in the morning I feel closer to ninety-four than thirty-four.”

  He paused to collect his thoughts. “I can’t keep up this pace indefinitely. I did it for my father and I’ve been trying to do it for you, too, because I love you and I know how much you love it here. But you can only push yourself so far before you start to break. And that’s what’s happening to me. It feels like every part of me is at the breaking point.”

  It was the first time he’d ever tried to explain how he felt, and he had no idea how she was going to react. As difficult as the words were for him to say, he knew they were even harder for her to hear.

  Rebecca didn’t respond right away. She studied his eyes for a minute before she leaned into him, and he felt a surge of relief when she wrapped her arms around his waist.

  “So what are you thinking, exactly? I mean…if we did sell the ranch. Where would you want to go? And what would you want to do?”

  “We can decide all of that together. For starters, I’d like to see you finish your education somewhere where you wouldn’t have to worry about a long commute or online classes.”

  She lifted her head. “You want me to finish school?”

  Alec frowned. “Well, of course I do. Why wouldn’t I?”

  “I don’t know. I’ve felt really strange about going back ever since I found out what happened with you and vet school.”

  “Bec, that was ages ago. I was a different person back then.”

  Rebecca shrugged. “I thought maybe you’d still like to pursue it one day.”

  “No. That time in my life came and went. It wouldn’t make any sense to start now.”

  “So would you want to do what your father did, then? With the touring and the seminars and all that?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe.” It was his turn to shrug. “To be honest, I haven’t thought that far ahead yet. You haven’t even told me how you feel about any of this.”

  She dropped her gaze. “It’s a huge decision, Alec. I’m going to need some time to think about it.”

  He nodded in understanding. “Take all the time you need.”

  *

  Rebecca never had difficulty sleeping–Alec was the insomniac–but that night, sleep eluded her.

  Nothing had ever surprised her more than her husband’s disclosure. In her mind, it didn’t make any sense. After all, they lived in one of the most beautiful places on earth, they ran a business that provided more than th
ey would ever need, and they were surrounded by a wonderful circle of family and friends.

  Why would Alec want to leave any of that?

  Then she listened to him explain himself and she started to see the scenario from his point of view. She tried to put herself in his shoes and envision all of the things he’d gone through in this house. She imagined how she would feel if she were still trapped in South Boston; if she’d never had the chance to leave and forge her own path in life.

  She’d feel suffocated. Cheated. Angry, even.

  Which was exactly how Alec was feeling.

  Eventually she fell asleep, and when she awoke she was startled to see that it was almost nine. She made her way to the window to see an unfamiliar truck in the parking lot. Then she spotted Alec and a man she didn’t recognize–presumably the property assessor–walking towards the lodge. She watched until they disappeared inside before she drew in a deep breath and turned for the dresser.

  Dakota was waiting for her at the bottom of the steps, wagging her bushy tail a million miles an hour. In spite of herself, Rebecca couldn’t help but smile as she leaned over to kiss the puppy’s head.

  “Wanna go for a ride today?”

  The puppy barked and pawed at the door. Rebecca grabbed two apples from the counter–one for herself, one for Star–before she and Dakota headed down to the barn.

  A crippling wave of realization washed over her when she entered the aisle and dozens of beautiful faces popped over stall doors to greet her. All night she’d thought about what she and Alec would do if they sold the ranch, but it hadn’t dawned on her that the ranch included more than just the land.

  The horses.

  Granted, they’d take Onyx, Star, and Shadow wherever they went. But what about the rest of the stock? What about the horses that had lived here for years, like Pumpkin and Zack? They’d have no need for them if they were no longer running a guest ranch.

  Would the horses stay here with the new owner, or would they be auctioned off? How could they be sure that any of them would end up in good homes?

  With a shake of her head, she forced the disconcerting thought away and continued into the tack room. She pulled Star’s bridle from its hook and was about to reach for her saddle when her eyes landed on the faded photograph beside the door frame. The same one hung in the kitchen in the farmhouse–an eight-year-old Alec sitting on Walter’s shoulders, proudly showing off a missing front tooth.