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INDEX
Abraham-Isaac story, 117–18
“action empathy,” 141, 195
Adams, Scott, 162–63
adolescence, 145–80
affirmation process and, 178–79
AIDS and, 147
ambivalence about adulthood in, 146–47, 166
boys and girls compared in, 149–51
conflicting messages and, 146–47, 166
family connectedness and, 173–75
guidelines for dealing with, 177–80
home as asylum for, 180
listening to, 180
masculinity’s double standard and, 146, 147–49, 151–53
men’s work as viewed by, 167–71
misunderstood behavior of, 163–67
parents and, 147, 153–55, 157–58, 177–80
peer pressure and, 158–61
public vs. private selves in, 161–63
role models and, 175–77
self-esteem and, 147, 148, 156
selves as viewed by, 171–73
sexual intercourse and, 153–54
substance abuse and, 155–57, 174, 178
trauma of separation and, 145–46, 173–75
AIDS (acquired immune deficiency syndrome), 147, 178, 227–29
Alan Guttmacher Institute, 153–54
American Association of University Women, 237, 268
American Medical Association, 340
American Psychiatric Association, 211
anger:
depres
sion and, 323
as “emotional funnel,” 44
separation and, 44, 49–50
Angst, J., 312
anhedonia, 311, 321
attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), 255–56
attention deficit disorder (ADD), xx, 5, 25, 264
misdiagnosis of, 253–58, 262
separation and diagnosis of, 36–38
Bakken, Linda, 243
Bang the Drum Slowly (Harris), 277
Bamett, Rosalind, 98, 135
Basketball Diaries, The (film), 359
Bauer-Brown, Gabriel, 253–54
Bauer-Brown, Perry, 254
Beach, Frank, 212
Bednall, John, 205
Belsky, Jay, 115, 142
Benson, Christopher, 29–32, 36, 38
Berndt, Thomas, 197
Beymer, Lawrence, 368
“big wheel” stereotype, 24, 141
bipolar disorder, 306
bisexuality, 220–24
Bowden, Blake, 174, 310
Boy Code, xxii, 21, 41, 47, 58–59, 90, 91, 95, 128, 141, 156, 199, 203, 236
basic stereotypes of, 23–25
divorce and, 367–68
double standard of, 81–82, 85
friendships and, 184–85
gender straitjacketing and, 184–85
mask of masculinity and, 3–6, 7, 9, 11, 12–14
myths and, 58–59
peer pressure and, 158–61
revising of, 88–89, 391–98
separation and, 23–25
sports and, 272–74, 285
style of expressing love and, 100–101
talking openly about, 106–7
teaching others about, 107–8
Bradbury, Ray, 249
Braithwaite, Wesley, 136
Branford, Calvin, 20, 47
Brannon, Robert, 23
Brody, Leslie, 42–43, 119
Bryan, Mark, 138
bullies, 342–46, 350, 356–57
Burnam, Audrey, 321
Casner, Duncan, 303–5
Casner, Jocelyn, 303–5
Catholic Church, 212
Census Bureau, U.S., 130
Center for the Family in Transition, 368
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 227
Chicago, University of, 233–34
Chodorow, Nancy, 28
“chumships,” 181–82, 190
Cohen, Lawrence, 349
Commission on Substance Abuse Among America’s Adolescents, 156
computer games, 358
Condition of Education 1997, The, 234
Coopersmith Self-Esteem Inventory, 238
Cortiz, Carlos, 102–3
Cortiz, Maria, 102–3
Cotton, Dennis, 219
Cotton, Owen, 219–20
Cotton, Sharon, 219
“covert intimacy,” 191
crime, xx, 124
media violence and, 359–60
Crnic, Keith, 142
D’Amico, Michael, 284–85
D’Angelo, Lori L., 121
David, Deborah, 23
Davies, Mark, 324
DeGeneres, Ellen, 212
De La Hoya, Oscar, 45–46
denial, 10
depression and, 309, 323
depleted mood, 322–23
depression, xviii–xx, 5, 7, 25, 119, 257, 303–37
absent father and, 124
academic difficulties and, 325–26
acting out and, 323–24
aggressiveness and, 326
anger and, 323
avoiding help for, 326
biology of, 307–8
in children, 320–21
as continuum of symptoms and behaviors, 307, 327–29
coping with, 334–37
defined, 306
denial and, 309, 323
depleted mood and, 322–23
diagnosing of, 306, 318–22
in divorced fathers, 375
friendships and, 309, 322, 334
gender-stereotyping myths and, 309
in girls, 310, 311, 313
hardening process and, 308–9
hidden epidemic of, 303–5
impulsive mood and, 322–23
inability to cry and, 324–25
medications for, 308, 335
physical symptoms of, 324
professional help for, 334–35
rates of incidence of, 311–12
recognition of, 312–16
relationships and, 309–10
risk-taking behavior and, 327
sadness and, 305–6, 312–14
safe spaces and, 315–16
self-esteem and, 309, 325
sexual interests and, 327
shame and, 309, 316
silliness and, 326
studies of, 309–11
substance abuse and, 326–27
suicide and, see suicide
symptoms of, 321, 322–27
talking about, 336–37
timed-silence syndrome and, 314–15
trauma and, 308–9
vulnerability to, 308
worsening of, 316–17
De Santis, Tommy, 286–87
Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), 211, 320
Diagnostic Interview Schedule, 321
divorce, 364–88
blended family and, 378–79
Boy Code and, 367–68
co-parenting and, 383–84, 388
deadpan dads and, 375–76
fathers and, 375–77
guidelines for survival of, 386–87
male relatives and, 375–77
mothers and, 368, 371–74
peer support and, 384–85
reading reactions to, 369–71
reassurance and, 383, 387–88
safe spaces and, 381–83
shame and, 367–68, 369
single-parent families and, 371–74
societal attitudes toward, 370–71
special times and, 381–83
teachers, schools and, 385–86
trauma of, 366–69, 373, 387
two-parent family stereotype and, 377–38
Dobler-Mikola, A., 312
Donnatuck, Sam, 295–96
Doom (computer game), 358
dysthymia, 306
eating disorders:
depression and, 324
sports and, 292
education, see schools
Education Department, U.S., 16, 234, 235
Egan, Peter, 185
Ellerbe, Jean, 260–61
empathy, 49, 50, 75, 346
“action,” 141, 195
of boys, 63–64
fathers and, 115–16
“gender,” 203
violence and, 350, 351, 352, 353, 356
enthrallment, 113–15
Erikson, Erik, 117, 146
family, 368
adolescent’s connectedness with, 173–75
blended, 378–79
father-custody, 377
single-parent, 371–73
fathers, 26–27, 61, 104, 113–44, 351, 353, 368
Abraham-Isaac story and, 117–18
absent, 96, 124–25
active, 133–34
basic categories of, 142
and bonding through activity, 82, 94, 120–21, 141
co-parenting and, 383–84
deadbeat, 138–39
deadpan, 375–76
divorce and, 375–77
emotional shaping by, 43–44
empathic relations by, 115–17
enthrallment and, 113–15
“father hunger” and, 124, 136, 143
gatekeeping mother and, 125–26
generative, 117–18, 134–35
lasting impact of, 119–20
longitudinal studies of, 119–20
macho father myth and, 128–29