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Real Boys

Page 58

by William Pollack


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  INDEX

  Abraham-Isaac story, 117–18

  “action empathy,” 141, 195

  Adams, Scott, 162–63

  adolescence, 145–80

  affirmation process and, 178–79

  AIDS and, 147

  ambivalence about adulthood in, 146–47, 166

  boys and girls compared in, 149–51

  conflicting messages and, 146–47, 166

  family connectedness and, 173–75

  guidelines for dealing with, 177–80

  home as asylum for, 180

  listening to, 180

  masculinity’s double standard and, 146, 147–49, 151–53

  men’s work as viewed by, 167–71

  misunderstood behavior of, 163–67

  parents and, 147, 153–55, 157–58, 177–80

  peer pressure and, 158–61

  public vs. private selves in, 161–63

  role models and, 175–77

  self-esteem and, 147, 148, 156

  selves as viewed by, 171–73

  sexual intercourse and, 153–54

  substance abuse and, 155–57, 174, 178

  trauma of separation and, 145–46, 173–75

  AIDS (acquired immune deficiency syndrome), 147, 178, 227–29

  Alan Guttmacher Institute, 153–54

  American Association of University Women, 237, 268

  American Medical Association, 340

  American Psychiatric Association, 211

  anger:

  depres
sion and, 323

  as “emotional funnel,” 44

  separation and, 44, 49–50

  Angst, J., 312

  anhedonia, 311, 321

  attention deficit and hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), 255–56

  attention deficit disorder (ADD), xx, 5, 25, 264

  misdiagnosis of, 253–58, 262

  separation and diagnosis of, 36–38

  Bakken, Linda, 243

  Bang the Drum Slowly (Harris), 277

  Bamett, Rosalind, 98, 135

  Basketball Diaries, The (film), 359

  Bauer-Brown, Gabriel, 253–54

  Bauer-Brown, Perry, 254

  Beach, Frank, 212

  Bednall, John, 205

  Belsky, Jay, 115, 142

  Benson, Christopher, 29–32, 36, 38

  Berndt, Thomas, 197

  Beymer, Lawrence, 368

  “big wheel” stereotype, 24, 141

  bipolar disorder, 306

  bisexuality, 220–24

  Bowden, Blake, 174, 310

  Boy Code, xxii, 21, 41, 47, 58–59, 90, 91, 95, 128, 141, 156, 199, 203, 236

  basic stereotypes of, 23–25

  divorce and, 367–68

  double standard of, 81–82, 85

  friendships and, 184–85

  gender straitjacketing and, 184–85

  mask of masculinity and, 3–6, 7, 9, 11, 12–14

  myths and, 58–59

  peer pressure and, 158–61

  revising of, 88–89, 391–98

  separation and, 23–25

  sports and, 272–74, 285

  style of expressing love and, 100–101

  talking openly about, 106–7

  teaching others about, 107–8

  Bradbury, Ray, 249

  Braithwaite, Wesley, 136

  Branford, Calvin, 20, 47

  Brannon, Robert, 23

  Brody, Leslie, 42–43, 119

  Bryan, Mark, 138

  bullies, 342–46, 350, 356–57

  Burnam, Audrey, 321

  Casner, Duncan, 303–5

  Casner, Jocelyn, 303–5

  Catholic Church, 212

  Census Bureau, U.S., 130

  Center for the Family in Transition, 368

  Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 227

  Chicago, University of, 233–34

  Chodorow, Nancy, 28

  “chumships,” 181–82, 190

  Cohen, Lawrence, 349

  Commission on Substance Abuse Among America’s Adolescents, 156

  computer games, 358

  Condition of Education 1997, The, 234

  Coopersmith Self-Esteem Inventory, 238

  Cortiz, Carlos, 102–3

  Cortiz, Maria, 102–3

  Cotton, Dennis, 219

  Cotton, Owen, 219–20

  Cotton, Sharon, 219

  “covert intimacy,” 191

  crime, xx, 124

  media violence and, 359–60

  Crnic, Keith, 142

  D’Amico, Michael, 284–85

  D’Angelo, Lori L., 121

  David, Deborah, 23

  Davies, Mark, 324

  DeGeneres, Ellen, 212

  De La Hoya, Oscar, 45–46

  denial, 10

  depression and, 309, 323

  depleted mood, 322–23

  depression, xviii–xx, 5, 7, 25, 119, 257, 303–37

  absent father and, 124

  academic difficulties and, 325–26

  acting out and, 323–24

  aggressiveness and, 326

  anger and, 323

  avoiding help for, 326

  biology of, 307–8

  in children, 320–21

  as continuum of symptoms and behaviors, 307, 327–29

  coping with, 334–37

  defined, 306

  denial and, 309, 323

  depleted mood and, 322–23

  diagnosing of, 306, 318–22

  in divorced fathers, 375

  friendships and, 309, 322, 334

  gender-stereotyping myths and, 309

  in girls, 310, 311, 313

  hardening process and, 308–9

  hidden epidemic of, 303–5

  impulsive mood and, 322–23

  inability to cry and, 324–25

  medications for, 308, 335

  physical symptoms of, 324

  professional help for, 334–35

  rates of incidence of, 311–12

  recognition of, 312–16

  relationships and, 309–10

  risk-taking behavior and, 327

  sadness and, 305–6, 312–14

  safe spaces and, 315–16

  self-esteem and, 309, 325

  sexual interests and, 327

  shame and, 309, 316

  silliness and, 326

  studies of, 309–11

  substance abuse and, 326–27

  suicide and, see suicide

  symptoms of, 321, 322–27

  talking about, 336–37

  timed-silence syndrome and, 314–15

  trauma and, 308–9

  vulnerability to, 308

  worsening of, 316–17

  De Santis, Tommy, 286–87

  Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), 211, 320

  Diagnostic Interview Schedule, 321

  divorce, 364–88

  blended family and, 378–79

  Boy Code and, 367–68

  co-parenting and, 383–84, 388

  deadpan dads and, 375–76

  fathers and, 375–77

  guidelines for survival of, 386–87

  male relatives and, 375–77

  mothers and, 368, 371–74

  peer support and, 384–85

  reading reactions to, 369–71

  reassurance and, 383, 387–88

  safe spaces and, 381–83

  shame and, 367–68, 369

  single-parent families and, 371–74

  societal attitudes toward, 370–71

  special times and, 381–83

  teachers, schools and, 385–86

  trauma of, 366–69, 373, 387

  two-parent family stereotype and, 377–38

  Dobler-Mikola, A., 312

  Donnatuck, Sam, 295–96

  Doom (computer game), 358

  dysthymia, 306

  eating disorders:

  depression and, 324

  sports and, 292

  education, see schools

  Education Department, U.S., 16, 234, 235

  Egan, Peter, 185

  Ellerbe, Jean, 260–61

  empathy, 49, 50, 75, 346

  “action,” 141, 195

  of boys, 63–64

  fathers and, 115–16

  “gender,” 203

  violence and, 350, 351, 352, 353, 356

  enthrallment, 113–15

  Erikson, Erik, 117, 146

  family, 368

  adolescent’s connectedness with, 173–75

  blended, 378–79

  father-custody, 377

  single-parent, 371–73

  fathers, 26–27, 61, 104, 113–44, 351, 353, 368

  Abraham-Isaac story and, 117–18

  absent, 96, 124–25

  active, 133–34

  basic categories of, 142

  and bonding through activity, 82, 94, 120–21, 141

  co-parenting and, 383–84

  deadbeat, 138–39

  deadpan, 375–76

  divorce and, 375–77

  emotional shaping by, 43–44

  empathic relations by, 115–17

  enthrallment and, 113–15

  “father hunger” and, 124, 136, 143

  gatekeeping mother and, 125–26

  generative, 117–18, 134–35

  lasting impact of, 119–20

  longitudinal studies of, 119–20

  macho father myth and, 128–29

 

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