by Vicki Green
Thoughts flitter through my mind as I start to fall into the deepest sleep. This is one of the strangest days I’ve ever had and yet somehow – one of the best.
10
I’d seen her birth control pill case in her purse, setting on the counter in the kitchen, the pills half gone. So, I knew she was protected. I only wanted to take her mind off everything, knowing she felt lost and alone, feeling as if she had to go through all this by herself. What she doesn’t understand yet is she’ll never be alone again. Not as long as I’m alive, and I plan on staying that way for a long time.
When I walked into her home, I was angry. She’d left the garage door open so anyone could just walk inside. After shutting it, I walked through the dark house, knowing exactly where I’d find her. It feels unhealthy that she sleeps in her father’s bed yet she probably feels closer to him and needs that right now. There’s no way I can fathom going through something like this with no other family to be there for support or hold onto each other for comfort. When I walked into the bedroom, I could barely make out her form but I could tell she was cold. She was curled up into a ball and as I got closer I could see her body shivering. I undressed her then pulled down the covers from underneath her and before I could move¸ I took in her nakedness. She’s more than my vision could have shown me. Her body perfect in every way. I longed to feel the weight of her perfect breasts in my hands. Desperate to suck in one of her perfect pink nipples into my mouth. Crave to taste her wetness, wondering how magnificent it would be. I ache to be inside her, filling her, teasing her swollen clit, and then making her cum. But instead, I quickly undress and form myself around her as I pull the covers up, sliding my arm beneath and around her, holding her close. Sharing my warmth so she will be.
She awoke, her sleepy state made her that much more beautiful. I know what she wants. What she needs. I want to give her that, time away from everything, even if it’s only for a short while. There’s no denying there’s an attraction between us. I feel it and I know she does too. She showed me that when I pulled her into the storage closet at the nursing home, lost all her senses when I kissed her. I made her forget that she was angry with me. Made her feel something more than distress from her current situation. Gave her a few moments of feeling nothing but what it feels like to actually feel something.
I don’t pretend to know her love life. I just have intuition, and it tells me no man has ever really truly cherished her. Given her anything but mindless, heartless sex. I aim to change that. She’s my vision. We’re meant to be together. I believe that as sure as I breathe.
I couldn’t do a lot of foreplay, not like I wanted. Because as soon as I took a nipple into my mouth, as soon as I’d touched her silky skin, it was all I could do to get inside her as soon as possible. She was already so wet for me. Drenched. She hadn’t even realized just how her body was in tune with mine. How much she longed for me. She was more than ready. As I pushed inside her, she was so tight that I was a little worried I wouldn’t fit completely. I might have gotten too anxious as I pushed hard until I was inside almost all the way. My arms shook as I waited for her body to adjust. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done because as soon as I felt her around me, I wanted to fuck her hard. But she needed this. Needed gentle, soothing. She needed to feel like I cared. I did but I also wanted her so badly. It was difficult to restrain myself but as soon as I could feel her loosen enough that I could move in all the way, I knew she’d conformed to my size. I’m well-endowed so much that I used to get teased in gym class throughout my years of school. Didn’t bother me though. I can’t help that I was blessed with what I have.
When she came, I felt myself tear up, knowing I did that for her. Then when I came, I almost lost it, feeling her and knowing she is real, did me in, made me cum harder than I ever had before. Just seeing her hasn’t been enough to make myself understand that she’s actually here, that I can touch her. Feel her. It’s like everything I’ve worked for in the last couple of years, all the things I’ve gone through, have lead me to this moment. Instead of calling out her name in the throes of my release, I called out Mia – mine. Because she is and always will be.
As we lay there, her all snuggled into my chest, I told her what it means and then as she started to fall asleep, I whispered mia per sempre – mine forever. I meant it. My vision showed her to me. Then in the hospital after almost dying, she stood before me in the flesh. Fate. Destiny. Luck. Kismet. Karma. You can call it what you will. But it happened and after knowing she really existed, I’ll never let her go.
11
I woke up feeling refreshed for the first time since I got the call that something was wrong with Dad. Reaching my arms up over my head, I stretch all the way down to my toes. Realization hits me that I’m lying on my back – on my side of the bed. That’s twice now that I wasn’t sprawled out across the bed or at the foot of it. Huh. I reach over to the other side of the bed, only to hit something that crinkles and not the warm body I thought I’d find. Again. Picking up a piece of paper, I settle back into the mattress and smile.
Eat!!
If you don’t eat something decent today, I’m gonna come over and force feed you
I bring the paper to my chest and look up at the ceiling. Bossy. I had sex last night with Dax – the mystery man. Or maybe he’s just a bad-boy with a heart for helping people? He’s confusing but God, I had the most intense orgasm of my young life. He’s massive and at first, I really didn’t think he would fit inside me. I rub my legs together. Shit, I’m deliciously sore. I don’t know what it is about him, something familiar, but I can’t figure it out. Or him. He’s still such a mystery. Maybe that’s what intrigues me so much.
I have so much to do today but first, shower, eat something (I do an internal eye roll), although I’m not really hungry, go see Dad, call Fred, and visit the hospital in hopes I can get a transfer there. I guess I should break down and call Brooke, give her the news. She’s gonna freak. I’m not looking forward to that call. As I bring my legs over the side of the mattress and stand, being sore from last night will make me think about him all day, every time I move. Maybe I should soak in the tub instead of a shower. I end up doing both. Washing and conditioning my hair in the shower then fill the tub and pour lavender salts into the water. I’m pruny by the time the water cools.
After dressing, doing all my bathroom necessities, I pull my hair up into a messy bun, grab my purse, and get into my car. By the time I visit Dad, he’s already done his physical therapy, and I’m kind of glad and also disappointed. Dax is nowhere to be seen so I sit with Dad, and we make a list of everything he’d like me to do. His mind is good today, and I’m thankful. Once I leave, I head over to the hospital. I have no idea if they have any job openings, and I need to let them know about Dad and what’s going on. I can’t fathom working twelve hour shifts and not being able to spend ample time with him – before it’s too late.
I’m nervous as I walk into the hospital and straight to the offices. A woman looks up from the front desk and smiles. “Well, as I live and breathe. Saige Benton.” She stands and walks around the counter, grabbing me into a big bear hug. As I’m about to gasp for air, she moves back keeping ahold of my arms. “I haven’t seen you in ages.”
Mrs. Godfred. She was a very good friend of my mom’s and still is to Dad. I’ve known her since – well, all my life.
“Look at you. You’ve changed into the most beautiful woman, like a caterpillar into the most engaging butterfly.” The mention of butterflies takes my mind back to last night. It felt like there were so many fluttering inside my stomach, and just when I reached my climax… “And I remember how your mom used to bring you here, how you’d look at everything with newness and excitement.” Her memories bring my attention back to her, and I feel the warmth of a blush on my face. Her face changes. “I know this is the last thing you wanna hear, but I’m sorry to hear about Harry.” She’s right. I hate hearing that, people showing me how sorry they are. I guess when th
ey do, it just makes it that much more real. “What brings you here, hon?”
I smile. “It’s good to see you, Mrs. Godfred. Well, I wanted to know if you had any job openings for an RN, maybe in ICU? I’m moving back home.” There. I said it. That wasn’t so hard.
She waves her hand in the air as she walks back around the counter and sits down. “Oh, dear. There’s always a need for more RN’s here. We can’t hardly keep up now with all the patients.” She looks up at me. “You know they come from the next three counties over. We’re known all over for our superb care and the best staff.” I nod, not really knowing this. How did I not know this? Her fingers fly over the keys of her keyboard. “I can get you in to see our Chief of Staff tomorrow morning?” I start to nod when a door opens in the the area behind her and all the desk and filing cabinets.
“Stella, can you get me…”
A young doctor looks up at me, stopping mid step. He has short light brown hair, with wisps of blond throughout, blue eyes stare a hole into mine, and lips that look like their dying to kiss. His broad chest is covered by the normal white coat doctors wear and he’s holding a clipboard in his hands.
“Oh, Dr. Powell. This is Saige Benton, a local moving back home. She’s been an RN for…” She turns to me. “For how long?”
I take advantage of the situation, knowing I need to get a job here in the worst way. I walk around the counter with my hand out as I head towards him. “I’ve been a registered nurse on the ICU floor for a little over three years. My record is impeccable.” His brows raise and he folds his arms.
“I told her she could see you tomorrow morning. You have a full schedule today and…”
Dr. Powell interrupts her, quickly. “I can make room now. That’s if – Saige, is it?” I nod, giving him a smile. “If you have the time?”
“But you have an appointment with…” Mrs. Godfred tries her best but he turns around, waving his hand out towards his office door.
His eyes scan my body from my shoes until they find my eyes, making me a little uncomfortable. “I think I can give Ms. Benton a few moments of my time. I’m sure it won’t take long by the sounds of her qualifications.”
He reaches around me as I get close to the door and opens it for me. I nod as I walk into the small area and sit down in a leather chair in front of a wood desk. He walks around it and sits in a high back leather chair. “How soon can you start?” I let out a small laugh. “We’re understaffed, especially in our ICU.”
“I’ll call my manager as soon as I leave and have the office fax over my records.”
He nods. “Very good. Just let Mrs. Godfred know on your way out. When did you want to start?” He folds his hands on top of the desk and that’s when I notice the wedding ring, glimmering in the light of the office. Thank goodness.
“Well, before I start, I need to explain something.” Here goes nothing and everything. I went into great detail about dad, how I grew up here, how I lost my mom and brother, and how I need to spend as much time as possible with him for as long as he’s still here.
He looks down at his hands and I brace myself for disappointment. When he looks back up at me, his eyes are tender. “I understand your situation all too well. My grandfather had Alzheimer’s.”
“I’m so sorry,” I whisper.
“Here’s what I can do. Instead of the twelve hour shifts I’m sure you know and love…” He smiles and I can’t help but smile as well. “I’ll explain the situation to the head of staff in ICU, and I’m sure we can adjust your schedule so you’ll have ample time that you need. Of course, our staff is the best here and we pride ourselves with our care, not only with our patients, but within our staff itself.” He smiles and I almost slump in relief.
“Thank you so much, Dr. Powell. This means so much to me.” I stand and he walks me to the door. As we walk through the doorway, I tell him that I’ll get right on the phone with the office where I work and I also need to make arrangements for packers and movers for all my things. He stops me as I start to walk around the counter on my way out.
“Peter, if you will. Look, Ms. Benton.”
“Saige, please.” I smile.
“Saige. If you need a day or two to arrange everything, you have the job. I would be selfish to say I needed you here now, which would be great, but we can manage for another couple of days.”
“Actually, that would be very much appreciated, if that’s okay. I need to make some other arrangements for my dad too.”
“Why don’t you call me when you’re ready and I’ll let the head of staff in ICU know.”
I reach out my hand and shake his. “Thank you. That sounds perfect.”
I tell Mrs. Godfred goodbye after getting the fax number and walk out the front doors feeling a little hopeful. I decided to drive to the deli, grabbing a sandwich and a bottled water, then sit down at a table in the corner to make phone calls. This is turning out to be not the bad day I thought it would. Yet it feels as if everything has changed, everything foreign. I hate it.
I’ve been sitting here for over half an hour, tapping my pen against my notepad, making checkmarks by the things I’ve gotten done, scratched and doodled while holding the phone against my ear during endless phone calls. I have an appointment in the morning with Dad’s lawyer. I called a packing company, and they will be there in two days to take care of my apartment then the movers are scheduled to bring it all here by the end of the week. I’ve transferred all my money from my checking and savings accounts to my old ones here, and I’m calling Brooke now. This is the one call I’ve dreaded the most.
“Oh, my God! Saige.” She screams into the phone but this time I don’t pull away. I miss her so badly that hearing her exuberance is welcomed. “How are you? What’s going on with your dad? God! I wish I was there to hug you and sit around your house, stuffing our faces with tons of ice cream.” I hold back my smile. We did that so many times growing up. Memories start flooding me, and I’m not sure I can take it right now.
We talk for so long, my ear starts to hurt. “I’ll meet the packers and the movers at your apartment and watch over them. No one lays a hand on your underwear drawer.” I let out a laugh. She always makes me feel better. “God, I’m gonna miss you.”
“You’ll be home for Christmas and if you can come another time that would be great too.” I feel the tears brewing and try to hold them back. God, I miss her and need her so badly. It’s not just the fact that I literally have no family support but she’s been my best friend forever, like a sister I never had.
“Don’t worry,” she sniffs loudly. “I’ll pack up your underwear and bras. I’ll even pack up your bathroom stuff. Ah, hell, I’ll pack up most of your apartment.” I let out another laugh, wiping away tears from my eyes. I’m not sure if they’re from laughing or crying. Probably both. We talk for a few more minutes and end the call leaving me feeling more alone than ever before.
So many others go through things like this alone, or worse. But then so many have siblings or other family members to help share the load, give each other support, or share the grief. It all makes me think of Bobby and my loss of him. I know he was young and not knowing what kind of a man he’d grow into, but I’m not sure he would have been able to handle this anyway. Maybe he would have surprised me. I startle when I feel his finger wiping away more of the tears I hadn’t realized I’d shed. I look up and into his brown eyes, full of tenderness.
“You’re not alone, Saige,” he whispers.
As if we’re not in a crowded deli, he sits down in the chair beside me, putting his arm around my shoulders, pulling me against him. My head lays down on his shoulder, as if this was normal. As if it belonged there. I feel his hand rubbing up and down my arm then suddenly stop. I look up at him and follow his eyes, looking down at my plate of barely touched food. He looks at me and frowns. “I know you’re upset. What will it take for you to eat more than this?”
What will it take? My life to go back to normal.
I sit up as he t
akes my notebook and my hand. “C’mon.” He stands, pulling me up with him. I gasp as I’m tugged and pulled across the deli and out the door. I can barely keep up with his long strides as we walk to his car. He opens the door for me but as I open my mouth to ask where we’re going, he grabs my waist and hoists me up and onto the seat. I try asking again but before I can, he sets my notebook down on my lap and buckles me in. My mouth is still open, ready to speak, when he closes my door and walks around to the driver’s side, settling into his seat, buckling up, and starting the car. He turns his head, looking out the back as he pulls out of the parking space. As he starts to turn around to drive, he gives me a wink. He is the most confusing man I’ve ever known. Okay, it’s not like I’ve known a ton of men, but still. I decide to take a different approach.
Giving him my innocent look, I ask sweetly, “Where are we going?” I bat my lashes to add to my charade.
I see his eyes shift my way then back out the front window. “You’ll see.”
Crossing my arms, I let out a huff, especially after I hear him chuckle. I hate surprises. I’ve never been good at keeping surprises either. I get too excited. I watch as he drives deeper into town. When he starts to pull over alongside the curb by the park, a smile spreads across my face and my eyes light up. Our town has the coolest park. There are a few vendor carts always set up. One with the best funnel cakes, one with homemade corndogs, and one with slushies. There’s a large fountain in the center of the park, tons of trees and benches everywhere. It’s one of my favorite places in the world, and I secretly can eat ten corndogs. Mustard only. Lost in my thoughts, my door opens. I hurriedly unbuckle the seatbelt and take his hand to help me down. As if he reads my mind, he leads me across the park and onto the sidewalk, heading straight for the corn dog vendor. How did he know? His fingers thread through mine. I try not to look over at him, but I do. He’s staring at me with such intenseness. He perplexes me, and I can’t seem to find it in me to stay away from him.
