The Unbelievable Mr Brownstone Omnibus 3

by Michael Anderle

  Shay walked over to the table and picked up the sword. It was surprisingly light. “I’m better with swords. I can’t even remember if I’ve ever handled a trident.”

  “Excellent. The activation phrase is ‘lux.’ And I see you have your engagement gifts.”

  Shay nodded. “Yeah. This should be good. Could use a bulletproof vest if they have anti-magics, but this will stop the worst of it.”

  The Professor grabbed a mug and headed behind the bar to the tap. He filled his mug. “Do either of you want a drink before all of this?”

  James shook his head. “I’m good.”

  That man would drink in the middle of a nuclear war.

  Shay shrugged. “Me too.”

  The Professor finished filling his mug and took a long swig. “I’m assuming, lad, that you’ll be using your own equipment? I can grab a few other things if you need them.”

  James nodded. “Yeah. I’m good. No, wait. You got any shit you don’t mind if it gets broken? It doesn’t have to be a weapon, just anything with a decent amount of magic.”

  “Aye. What do you intend to do?” The Professor’s eyes turned curious.

  “Compensate for not being pissed,” James explained.

  “Well, now. That’s rather cryptic.”

  Shay activated her defensive artifacts. James was the only one in the room who wasn’t glowing.

  A bell in the corner of the pub jingled.

  James blinked. “Huh. I didn’t even think that bell worked. I thought it was just for decoration.”

  The Professor finished his drink and set his mug down. He walked over to pick up the trident. “It’s an overly complicated proximity alarm. I’ve not had much use for it since it draws attention to itself, but it does mean our friends are close.”

  Shay reached into her pocket and pulled out the map sphere. “Where should I put this?”

  The Professor set the trident back on the table and took the glass sphere out of her hand. “I’ll go put this somewhere to keep it secure. I’ll note that ‘secure’ in this sense means it’ll only slow down a dedicated group like Fortis. If we die out there, they’ll get to it, I imagine.”

  “Cheery.”

  The Professor grinned. “Simple solution: we don’t die. I’ll grab a few things I don’t mind losing per James’ mysterious request while I’m back there.” He hurried toward a hallway in the back and disappeared down it.

  James shook his head. “Harriken, cartel, assassins, aliens, fucking rogue CIA alien hunter. How the fuck did my life get so complicated? I used to just be a man with a dog.”

  Shay laughed as she took a few test swings with the sword. “You’re an alien with an adapting super-symbiont. You were kind of doomed, James. Superman has to deal with shit because of who he is. Same thing with you.”

  “I’m not Superman.”

  “You prefer Moses?” Shay grinned.

  James frowned at her.

  “Strength calls to strength, whether to challenge or defend.” Shay inspected the blade closely. “Shit, it even brought us together. Would you have liked it if your life stayed simple but you had never met me? Never met Alison?”

  The bell rang again, this time louder.

  James shook his head. “No, I suppose I wouldn’t.”

  “Then embrace the annoying complexity of life. When assholes show up, we put them down. Eventually, everyone’s gonna learn their lesson. Some people are just stupider than others.”

  “Even the Nine Systems Alliance and the Vax?”

  Achieve maximum adaptation, Whispy chimed in, an almost wistful undertone to the thought. Achieve primary directive.

  You know which directive I’ve chosen, don’t you?

  Destroy all Vax symbionts, Whispy responded.

  That’s fucking right. I’m not gonna go looking for trouble, but if they show up, they die. You got a problem with that?

  Maximum adaptation potential would come from battling other Vax.

  You don’t give a shit as long as you’re the King of the Hill? Fine by me. You’re not Coach anymore, Whispy. You’re my partner.

  Engage and kill enemies, Whispy responded. Achieve maximum adaptation. Become the strongest.

  James grunted, a slight smile coming to his face.

  Shay’s grin turned hungry, knocking James out of his mental conversation. “James, you kick so much ass that I’m hoping in a few years, there’s not a single asshole in the entire galaxy who thinks fucking with you is a good idea.”

  “Yeah, I think Whispy agrees with you.”

  The Professor emerged from the hallway and laughed. “That would be convenient for both you and the Earth.” He held two cracked wooden sticks in his hand. “These aren’t weapons, but they do have a decent amount of magical healing power. He handed them to James.

  “And you don’t care if I destroy them?” James eyed the other man, his eyebrows raised in question. “I need them kind of as fuel.”

  “Desperate circumstances, lad.” The Professor reached into his pocket and pulled out a pair of torn black leather gloves. They glowed for a moment when he slipped them on.

  James slipped the sticks under his shirt and placed them against his amulet.

  Let’s do it.

  His armor covered him, and his blade extended.

  The bell rang a third time, this time so hard it almost vibrated free of its wall hook.

  The Professor stared at him, faint surprise on his face. “Knowing about something and seeing it up close are two separate things. It’s unfortunate that these lads coming to attack us couldn’t see it our way.” He nodded toward the door. “Should we go greet our adoring fans?”

  “Yeah,” James rumbled. He stomped to the door and threw it open. Shay and the Professor followed.

  Several vans pulled to a stop on either side of the street, men piling out with various weapons. James saw several more blast pistols and one of the super-rifles he’d faced on the hill.

  “I’ll go left,” he rumbled. “I’m immune to everything they’ve got, and I’ve got to take out that weird molecular change rifle before he hits you.”

  Shay pointed her sword in the opposite direction. The Professor aimed the trident as well.

  “Three,” James counted. “Two, one…” He yelled in challenge and charged the Fortis agents.

  “Lux!” Shay shouted. Three massive arrows of light appeared and flew toward the men. Their van proved useless as cover when the arrows shot through the metal and slammed into one man. An anti-magic deflector around his neck darkened, and he stumbled back.

  The Professor spouted something that sounded like ancient Greek to Shay. A massive bolt of lightning blasted from the trident and struck one of the vans, knocking it into the air in a shower of sparks. The anti-magic deflectors didn’t help the men crushed by the falling vehicle.

  James continued toward the other men. Beams of different colors blasted at him—blue, red, green—none doing much to harm him.

  Near maximum adaptation achieved, Whispy reported.

  Another man aimed a crossbow and fired. The bolt slammed into James and exploded, flinging him into the air along with a shower of asphalt but not doing much to hurt him. He landed a few seconds later and rolled back to his feet with a growl.

  The man with the molecular transformation rifle aimed the weapon at James and pulled the trigger. The air wavered around James, but nothing happened. The man blinked in disbelief.

  James continued to close on the agents, who were now less than ten yards away.

  The agents on the other side desperately tried to return fire, but the near-constant barrages from Shay and the Professor weren’t giving them much opportunity. One man squeezed off a blast pistol shot at the Professor, the blue beam striking the man, but his golden aura dimmed for only a second and his smile grew wider before he returned fire with a lightning bolt that charred his attacker.

  “Aye, I had forgotten how much fun this could be,” the old man shouted.

  James reach
ed the agents, ignoring everyone except the man with the rifle.

  The agent backpedaled and tripped, pulling the trigger. One of the agents nearby screamed for a second before he turned into a twisted mass of tangled limbs.

  The agent scrambled to his feet and fired the rifle again, this time not at James, but the van behind him. Tentacles sprouted from the side of the vehicle, and a huge gaping maw filled with metal teeth opened on its side. A row of eyes appeared near the roof.

  What? Is it like whatever the fuckers are thinking of?

  James ignored the new monster to stab the man through the chest before taking the rifle and crushing a nearby man’s head with it. A black tentacle snatched the weapon from his hand and tossed it into the mouth. Several more tentacles snagged the avenging bounty hunter and tugged him toward the maw.

  The Fortis agents continued to fire their energy weapons at the restrained James. The man with the crossbow loaded in a new bolt and fired it into his chest. The explosion knocked him right into the mouth of the van-turned-monster.

  The creature clamped down around him, a thick, viscous liquid filling the small space James occupied. The liquid hissed on contact with the rifle, burning it and the few remnants of cloth left on James.

  What? Acid? That shit is weak.

  James thrust his blade into the roof of the mouth and carved an exit. Fleshy black tissue fell in, the entire creature thrashing as he climbed out the top and jumped into the surviving agents.

  The heavy beat of approaching rotors came from the south.

  Fucking Daniel. You were supposed to keep the cops away from here. Now we’ve got to end this shit before they get hurt.

  The combined assaults of Shay and the Professor had finished off almost everyone on the opposite side. A last barrage killed the two remaining agents.

  “I’m liking this sword, Professor,” Shay commented. “Maybe I should buy it from you.”

  He replied with a merry laugh. “Shake a leg, Miz Carson. We’re not done yet, and I’ll have you know that weapon takes decades to charge. You’ve used up centuries of its power already.”

  “Shit. Sorry.”

  James eviscerated his final enemy with a grunt.

  Low adaptation potential, Whispy complained.

  James turned and jogged around the bodies toward Shay and the Professor. Both were breathing hard and covered in sweat, and the glowing auras that marked their defensive artifacts had dimmed, but neither seemed hurt.

  “You finished over here?” he rumbled.

  Shay waved her sword. “Yeah, looks like it. Sounds like the cops are coming.”

  Multiple helicopters flew closer, along with a duller roar.

  “Oh, shit,” James muttered as he looked up. They weren’t police helicopters.

  Engage and kill stronger enemies for maximum adaptation, Whispy offered, excitement rising again in the symbiont.

  Two black helicopters appeared overhead. One held a half-dozen men wearing silver gauntlets on one hand. The side doors were open.

  In the other helicopter, a suited man raised a small silver disc and pressed a button on top. He threw it toward the front of the Leanan Sidhe.

  James, Shay and the Professor all jumped to the side as a white-blue explosion went off a few yards above them.

  21

  The attack knocked James down and through the front of the Leanan Sidhe. He rolled, hissing, actual pain registering in his mind.

  Shit. Guess Fortis did have a few surprises left.

  Yessssss, Whispy sent. Adaptation in progress. Regeneration in progress.

  James blinked his eyes. His armor was cracked and charred, and mild burns covered his exposed face. He shook his head and stood.

  The Professor lay face-down, burns all over his body and much of his clothing incinerated. His arm was bent at an unnatural angle.

  No, no, no. No fucking way.

  James let out a roar of anger. A pile of rubble moved and Shay popped up, her skin back to its normal color and cuts covering her face. There were rips all over her clothes.

  Shay rushed over to the Professor and turned him face-up. His skin was battered and burnt, but he was still breathing.

  “He’s still alive. I’ll take care of him.” Shay reached into her pocket to pull out a healing potion. “You keep them off us.” She threw herself over his body as another explosion blasted apart the remaining front walls of the Leanan Sidhe. One of the ceiling fans crashed to the ground.

  Shay pulled the wounded Professor around the corner of the bar as James stomped forward, his body trembling with anger.

  Sufficient energy for extended advanced transformation.

  This anger tasted different. Cold, but just as powerful.

  Do it, James sent.

  He continued striding forward, most of his armor restored between his regeneration and transformation. Two of the silver-gauntleted men stood across the street, and a third was making his way down a nylon line from the hovering helicopter. The other helicopter remained closer to the Leanan Sidhe, or what remained of it.

  A third explosive was thrown from the helicopter, and James leapt into the air toward the device, grabbing it and continuing upward. The aircraft rose in the sky as the explosive went off, this time barely scorching him and knocking him back to the ground. He smashed into the sidewalk, leaving a huge crack in the pavement.

  The silver-gauntleted agents finished unloading. James ignored them and raised his arm. He took a few seconds to charge up as the vehicle attempted to escape. His attack separated the rotor from the rest of the craft, and the helicopter tumbled to the street and exploded in a shower of glass and metal.

  The other helicopter quickly gained altitude. James growled and jumped into the air as he charged his beam. At the height of his arc, he was far from the fleeing helicopter, but it didn’t matter. The shot tunneled through the center of the craft and blew it to pieces.

  James landed on the ground only a few yards away from a gauntlet agent, flaming helicopter debris raining down around them.

  Moderate adaptation potential, Whispy suggested.

  One of the men lifted his gauntleted hand. The light curved and wavered around it. He grinned. “We underestimated how quickly you can adapt, Brownstone, but that’s not going to happen this time.”

  James growled. Despite the anger flowing through him, his focus remained on the enemy. They would pay for what they had done to the Professor. He’d make sure of it.

  Another man lifted his hand, shadows covering it.

  The others lifted their hands, in turn producing flame, haze, an opaque pulsating orange miasma, and crackling electricity.

  None of the men advanced. “Killing you—an alien infiltrator who hid here for decades while he gathered the strength to undermine our planet—will be Fortis’ ultimate achievement.”

  “Fuck you,” James rumbled. “You guys couldn’t win even with your magic monster guns. You’re a bunch of fucking idiots.”

  “Magic monster guns? Ah, a weapon that you have to concentrate on too much to use isn’t a good weapon. It’s not reliable. A good weapon can be used even by a scared soldier.”

  “You’re not a soldier,” replied James, his voice low and full of murderous promise. “You’re nothing but a bunch of killers telling yourselves that because you work for the government, everything you do is all right. I’ve saved more people in my life than all of you pieces of shit combined, and you’re all gonna die here.”

  Kill the enemy, Whispy chanted.

  I want to kill their spirits first.

  The cold anger continued to flow through him, simmering at the edge of control. He was tired of self-righteous assholes fucking with him and the people around him. Fortis didn’t have to be his enemy. If they wanted to take on the Vax and the Nine Systems Alliance, they could have even been his ally, but now they had threatened his friends and blown up the Leanan Sidhe. They had to pay.

  The men all charged James at once. He didn’t bother to dodge. They all
threw a fist, each covered with a different type of attack energy at him. The blows struck in unison, and he jerked once, a slight jolt passing through him.

  Near maximum adaptation already achieved. Kill the enemy. Find stronger enemies.

  They jumped back, surprise on their faces.

  James turned toward the man who had spoken earlier. “Don’t know where you stole that shit, but I’ve been exposed to a lot of things, and my adaptation isn’t temporary. What, you assholes thought as long as you used a bunch of different attacks, it’d work?” He let out a low growl. “It’s your worst nightmare, Fortis. I don’t know if there’s anyone left on Earth who can take me down when I’m pissed off.” He sprang forward and slashed in a wide arc, his blade slashing deep into the throats of two men and the chest of a third.

  The three other men charged him, the various energy fields pulsating around their gauntlets. They threw punches at James, but their blows bounced off. He barely noticed. He cut down two more men before grabbing the last man by the throat and lifting him.

  “Figure it out, assholes. The only option left now is to point the monster at the other monster.” He dropped the man to his knees and tore his throat out with his claws.

  The Fortis agent fell backward, gasping and clawing at his wounded throat, his blood draining out and coating the street.

  Kill the enemy, Whispy sent Become the strongest.

  James threw back his head and let out a long, loud snarl.

  Wait, James thought. Shay. The Professor.

  He turned and rushed toward the smoking wreckage of the front of the Leanan Sidhe. Some of the anger started to flow away. His helmet and blade retracted as he stepped back inside.

  The Professor sat at a table with a beer in front of him and a smile on his face. His clothes and hair were still torn up, but his wounds were healed. “Share a beer with me now, lad?”

  James stared at the man. “The Leanan Sidhe is totaled, there’s a bunch of dead guys in the street, and you nearly died, and you think it’s time for a beer?”

  “You don’t understand, lad.” The Professor gestured around the bar. “I’ll rebuild this place. I’ve got more than enough money to do that, and it gives me a few months to visit some people I’ve been meaning to go see. Losing half a bar in the process of making sure the appropriate artifacts get to the appropriate people is a small price to pay, and as for beer? Well, it’s always time for a beer.”