Batch of 1999

by Anurakt Srivastava

‘Do you remember me?’ Sudir asked Sanjay.

  ‘No, you are the same bastard from my class. Aren’t you?’ Sanjay answered.

  ‘Yes, I am that. But I am not the same,’ Sudhir told Sanjay. He fixed up an appointment to meet Sanjay today because he wanted to get closer to his dream problem. It was getting bigger and bigger in the past few weeks. Now he was dying with pain in the dreams and could feel it each-time after waking-up. He started watching all the things in the dreams that he hated and despised all his life. Dread and darkness was covering his nights. Death, fights, blood, mud, water-bottle (he hated water-bottle), loud sounds, his aunt, cousin, school enemy, math teacher and his old neighbors. All the things that Sudhir had thrown out of his life started coming back to him again after going to bed to haunt the hell out of him. The more he tried to run from all these, the more he tangled. When he stopped running then it jammed his blood. There was nowhere to run now. He had to sleep and if he would sleep then he had to face all the things that symbolized the dark part of his life. He had black marks below his eyes now and he looked weaker as if he hadn't slept for months. He could give anything to sleep properly for one night. How pitiful.

  ‘Why did you want to meet me?’ Sanjay asked.

  ‘I wanted to know if you would be having some kind of dreams.’

  ‘Are you crazy. Of course, I do.’

  ‘No, I mean special kind.’

  ‘Yeah, last night I saw that I was having sex with your wife,’ Sanjay continued to be sarcastic.

  ‘I don't have a wife. Just tell me what I am asking,’ Sandeep almost pleaded.

  ‘You hated me in the school. Didn't you? You were my undeclared rival. I didn't even like to see your face. I prayed before coming to school everyday that you would remain at home. You stole my project file and complained the teacher when I was cheating in the exam. Didn't you?'

  ‘Yes, that is right. And that is old, don’t forget. We are in the same boat right now.’

  ‘Same boat… Same boat… Haha. Don't make me laugh. Just because you have money and you are successful now it doesn’t mean that you can compete Purohits. you don't even got the status to stand close to me.’

  ‘I am not talking about business, fool. I am talking about that stupid laboratory accident. You were there with me. I was looking at you and I was jealous of you. Don't mind because that is not important. So I was jealous of you and I was thinking about how to defame and demoralize you. How to make you blacklisted and ruin your whole day. I was like that during those days, not now. Though, it would please me more than anything to see your loser face with anger for me. haaah, those sweet school days. Those would never come back. We could be friends during that time but that wouldn't have been this funny,' and then Sudhir's face went serious 'that was then, today I am not the same and it doesn’t matter to me weather you would eat cheese omelets in breakfast or boot-polish. I am here only because you and me have shared something drastic. And that day changed me and my world.’

  ‘Do you know that you are standing in my house right now. Change your tone Sudhir or you cannot get out of here on legs.’

  ‘You didn't changed a bit but when I read about your greatness in the newspaper I knew that it wasn't you. It couldn't be you. It has to be someone else. And besides that I know what you did to that poor girl whom you kidnapped and kept in your house. Her ashes would still be there on the places where your father threw them,' Sudhir told him with extraordinary calmness.

  ‘So you should go to the police-station instead of coming here,’ Sanjay smiled. It was nothing but a nice time-pass for him to come out of things like that. He had a lifelong habit of getting into tough circumstances and coming out clean. To solve the matters in corporate way. By taking help of associates and experts. They knew how to handle things. Sanjay believed that money could buy anything. He didn't know the meaning of the words like impossible and nothing. But he did know the meaning of sadness and lunacy.

  ‘Ask me for coffee,’ Sudhir told him and that changed the scene.

  ‘Would you like a coffe?’

  ‘Yeah, sure.’

  'Raman…. Raman.. Two coffee.’

  ‘You know, you were the only enemy I got whom I respect.’

  ‘Well, that is some compliment. I didn't hate you because you were rich. I hated you because I had to hate someone. Because people hate each-other without reasons sometimes.’

  ‘I can understand. I hate many things too without reasons. And besides that you are mature now. That was childhood and look at you now. A grown up business tycoon. I am a married man now and my wife is pregnant. Times has changed.’

  ‘I tried to contact others too but they were not in a position to meet. Even my close friends refused to recognize me. Usually people recognize quickly when you become successful. Everything is behaving upside down. Holy mother of god. Do you feel strange.’

  ‘People say that I am not like before. I don't know what they mean actually. I always wanted to have fun only but the meaning of fun is different now. Giving pain to others is funny to me now. Even when I am going to have a son of my own in few months. I don't care if this is right or wrong. It is just what it is. It feels good when I see that someone is crying or sad. And sometimes when I don't see these type of things around then I try to create sadness and pain around me by hurting and teasing others to satisfy myself. My own people are becoming victims. I hit my servants and I shout on my mother and wife. I never really grown up, yaar. I have become smaller than before. And more dangerous to add,’ Sanjay told.

  ‘It doesn’t surprise me. Nothing surprises me now. We don't deserve it. You know. We are dying everyday. Each one of us. Luckier ones are dead already. One is on death row. One is on bed since the day it has happened. One have a non-bailable arrest warrant issued against him for killing of innocent little kids. Few are disappeared. Few murdered. To hell with them. I am not happy and that is all I care about. That is all what matters right now. I have forgotten the names of all my friends. There is no difference between you and them now. There is no difference between the person walking down the street and you. There is no difference in my mother, father and driver. Because I am too much in stress to define anything now. This is tough to explain. I just take everything and swallow it through mind and body without bothering about its shape, size and relation. You wouldn't understand what I am saying until you would be inside my body.’

  ‘You are wrong because I think I know what is happening to you. Not exactly, though. But I am not much worried about it. I am trying to make fun out of it. Why don't you make peace with yourself and try to live with it instead.’

  ‘You must be joking. Aren’t you? Have you ever vomited after sleep because of dream disgust. What is real is real because it looks real. But what if dreams look more real than fucking reality? How would you differentiate? Where would you run from yourself at that time? How can you stop yourself from sleeping?'

  ‘I wouldn't stop myself from sleeping. I would start enjoying this situation. If there would be shit then I would eat the shit.’

  ‘Easy for you to say. I am watching everything that I don't ever want to see. I am not watching naked women dancing around my bed.’

  ‘Just adapt yourself according to the situation. This is so easy. Once there was a movie which my father took me to. It had too much of romance which was making my head spin. I simply can’t understand this emotion. So I couldn't figure out the story line and found the movie boring and time-waste till interval. Then I went out for popcorn and then father told me to enjoy that movie. You should listen to the tone of his voice. He speaks with such a command which he has got from my grandfather. And I obeyed like everyone else. I decided to enjoy the movie and I found it entertaining. Even I made a girlfriend after that which was my longest relationship of my life that remained for one week. So my advice is to keep doing whatever you are doing in dreams but don't do it with reluctance but rather with a pleasure and enthusiasm. It would be a little hard
in the beginning but if I can do this while being awake. You can do this easily while being asleep.’

  ‘You know what I am doing in dreams. I follow people and I hit them and I steal things. I bath with filth. I meet haters. I lose my life hundreds of time and I put my hand in the tires of trucks and fans. If I would try to enjoy all this then I would go nuts.’

  ‘You are going nuts anyway. Better with choice then with resistance. As you see resistance is of no use so shake hands with your destiny if you cannot fight it. Who likes to do the homework but kids do that for so many years.’

  ‘Mm. I think that you are right. Running is not a solution. Fighting with yourself would only cause more damage.’

  ‘Here, have some more coffee for more intelligence,’ Sanjay poured more coffee into the mug of Sudhir.

  ‘So we are friends now.’

  ‘Yes, besides that I don't get the status to stand close to me,’ Sanjay Purohit said. Sudhir smiled.

  ‘I can’t believe it. You are the same guy I wanted to kill during school,’ Sanjay took a sip.

  ‘I would be grateful if you had.’

  ‘Come on. Things are not that bad.’

  ‘Maybe. But not good either. We should do something about it.’

  ‘I am too lazy for that. What do you need from me?’

  ‘Nothing much. You already make my day and I want to make it better now. Lets organize a reunion. I want to meet everyone in whatever form they are. I want to meet them to forget myself maybe. Or maybe together we all could fight against it better. What say?’

  ‘Not a bad idea in my opinion. But it would take a lots of hard work because as you are telling about them it seems to me that they aren’t hi-hello people anymore. May even be harmful also. The people who can hurt themselves can hurt anyone without thinking twice.’

  ‘They wouldn’t hurt you. Don’t worry. Can Vinay hurt you? He was your best buddy.’

  ‘I am not worried about myself or hurting, cuts, blood or insult. First thing is that i am not going to call them myself. I never do anything myself. So there are no questions. Next, that Vinay is not our good old Vinay.’

  ‘Guess what. His parents are organizing a musical concert. Vinay would play piano there. That loser. Haha. Can you believe it?’

  ‘What can I say. Anyone can do anything. All i know is that I am not going into some lousy concert of an amateur piano player.’

  ‘You should go. Other ones might show-up there too.’

  ‘You think so? You mean murderers, psychics and psychos, All? How exciting,’ Sanjay taunted.

  ‘Your sense of humor has become harsh, Sanjay. Just like you. They called you poodle because you got no guts and you were over-sophisticated. But they would fall down on one glance of you right now,’

  ‘So what should you call me now?’

  ‘I am not sure about that. But I certainly wouldn’t offence you again. Especially in your house,’ Sudhir moved his eyes which gave him a quick idea of luxury present there. Interior was old and priceless including paintings, pots, telephone and furniture. Sanjay never had a taste in interiors. Now he was thinking about acquiring that taste.

  ‘No you wouldn’t. When is the concert?’

  ‘Are you doing this for me?’

  ‘Just for fun.’

 

  Wall of fortune