by Liz Isaacson
“All right.” Fabi turned back to the party, which had swelled by at least three dozen people, with more streaming around the house at a steady clip. “Oh, and Dahlia’s pregnant.” Fabi walked away before Berlin could fully decode the tone of voice her sister had used.
Berlin’s stomach fell to the ground, and all she could feel was that she was getting further and further behind. Which made no sense. Dahlia was twelve years older than Berlin. Twelve. And just barely having her first child.
And life wasn’t a race anyway.
“Attention!” Her mom had a microphone, and Berlin migrated back to Cole as her mother continued to get everyone’s attention. He stood with Tate and Wren, Fabi and Ed, and Jazzy and Max. Berlin wanted to touch him, simply to ground herself, but she didn’t dare. She felt like holding his hand right now would push him further from her instead of bringing him closer. So she put on her happy face and endured the party, hoping no one else would bring up her blunder.
To Cole’s credit, he stayed for the duration of the party. He drove her home and said he’d see her tomorrow. His still mask broke when he saw the dogs—the only time. He didn’t kiss her goodbye, but did say he’d see her later.
Berlin had fully expected him to stand her up for church, probably through a text. But he showed up outside the red brick building twenty minutes early, and they sat way down on the end of the Fuller family bench. He didn’t hold her hand or lift his arm around her shoulders, which left Berlin hollow and honestly a bit scared.
He’d turned into a numb beast instead of the fiery, snappy one she’d come to expect. She could handle the latter, but this iced over version of him she didn’t know how to deal with.
Pastor Peters spoke about honesty and telling the truth, relating stories of businessmen and women who stood for what was right and were blessed for it.
Berlin had never been tested in that way. College had been easy, and she’d never felt the temptation to cheat. She hadn’t had to interview for jobs, and she’d never really tasted of that level of competition before.
As she sat there, her leg barely touching Cole’s, she realized how sheltered and spoiled her life had been. But that wasn’t something she could control, and she didn’t feel particularly bad about it.
She felt uninteresting. Why would someone as well-traveled and with experience in the FBI, with various police forces, and the Boy Scouts be interested in her? She didn’t do any charity work. She didn’t work with youth. His job had to be ten times busier than hers, and he did much more than she did.
Pastor Peters started to wind down—Berlin had attended hundreds of his sermons, so she knew. She tapped Cole’s arm and whispered, “I have to go.”
He looked at her blankly for a moment and then nodded. Berlin couldn’t stand to be beside him for another second and she practically exploded to her feet and hurried up the aisle.
She expected him to follow her out, but there were no bootsteps behind her. She waited in the lobby, and he still didn’t come. Bitter, and with a sob in her throat, she turned her back on the chapel and exited the building as quickly as her heels would take her.
Leaving her car in the parking lot, she crossed the bridge to the park and walked at a steady clip under the trees. Her office was only a few blocks down, and by the time she arrived, she was sweaty and out of breath. After all, she didn’t work out in heels, in ninety-degree weather.
Once behind the locked door of the building and inside the office space for A Jack of All Trades, she kicked off her heels and faced the boxes of financial documents she hadn’t gone through yet.
She couldn’t stand to think about Cole, but she couldn’t stop doing exactly that. But if she could focus on something else, just for a little while, maybe an idea for what to do about him would present itself.
The first box she opened had more payroll reports. These were easy. She read them, recorded them, checked the procedures for overtime pay and reporting of inconsistencies of mistakes.
It was mind-numbing work but required her to pay attention to what each piece of paper said, which made it perfect for this Sunday afternoon when she couldn’t find peace in her usual places.
Her phone rang a half an hour later, and she expected to see Cole’s name on the screen. But it was Dawn.
Berlin hesitated just a bit too long before answering, and the call went to voicemail. Before she could silence her phone—because she really didn’t want to talk to anyone today—it started ringing again.
Dawn. Again.
Blowing out a sigh, Berlin picked up the phone and answered the call. “I’m not really in the mood for talking today.”
“Great,” her second oldest sister said. “Neither am I. What I have is a literal vat of chicken noodle soup. Nana Reba made it for me and Taya, because we’ve been under the weather. I wondered if you wanted some.”
Berlin’s annoyance faded. “You aren’t feeling well?”
“I’m almost out of the first trimester,” she said. “Everyone says it will get better then.” She exhaled, and Berlin could hear the exhaustion in her sister. “So, soup? I’ll have McDermott bring it after he gets home from church.”
So Dawn hadn’t been in the chapel. Hadn’t seen Berlin’s exit while Cole sat there and let her go. Come to think of it, she hadn’t been in the backyard yesterday during Berlin’s kisscapade either.
“I’m at the office right now,” she said. “But he can leave it on my porch. Or take it inside. I’m sure I didn’t lock the front door.”
A few beats of silence put Berlin back on heightened alert.
“Hiding at the office today?”
“No,” Berlin said quickly. “I’m doing the police department audit, and I’ve fallen behind.” She’d fallen behind because of all the time she spent thinking about Cole, or the hours she spent with Cole.
“Hm. You want some company from a semi-sick pregnant lady?”
Berlin laughed, thinking back at how Dawn had removed herself from the family. She hadn’t come to the family dinners for years, and then…something changed. Berlin didn’t know what. She’d never asked, and she’d been preoccupied with her own life, if she were being honest.
Her parents had been riding her about her degree, and she’d been working full-time for the company, part-time at the grocery store, and doing online classes. She didn’t want to go back to those days at all, but even she’d known about the change in Dawn.
And then she’d married McDermott, and they’d been building a nice, quiet life together.
“It’s fine,” she said to Dawn, pulling herself back to the present. “I’m okay here. I…want to be alone.”
“Okay,” Dawn said in a dubious voice. “But please let me know if you need company. I’ll come.”
“Thanks.” Berlin smiled at the kindness in her sister and hung up the phone. She managed to silence it and get back to the documents before her mind took her down the path to thinking about Cole again.
Hours later, Berlin’s throat felt like someone had poured sand down it. Her back ached, and her neck had a certifiable kink in it. She finished the last file in the third box she’d been through that day and stood, bracing both hands on her lower back as she stretched. A groan filled the air and all she could think about was getting a drink.
She left the office and entered the front of the office where the tall reception counter sat. Wren usually worked there, and through a door behind her station was a little kitchen. The two women kept it stocked with water and all their favorite sodas. Wren usually had a cake in there too, with a couple different flavors of ice cream.
Berlin just wanted water, but she hadn’t made it through the door leading into the kitchen when pounding sounded on the glass behind her.
Her heart catapulted to the back of her throat and adrenaline spiked through her blood. Her stomach swooped and she spun toward the sound, fear flowing through her like fast-moving water.
A tall figure had his hands splayed against the glass. When he saw she
was looking, he gestured for her to come let him in.
Berlin backed up, feeling for the doorway behind her. She’d left her phone in her office, so she ducked behind the tall counter and picked up the landline there. She had the first number dialed when she heard, “It’s Cole, Berlin. And it’s raining. You wanna let me in?”
She replaced the receiver in the cradle and straightened. She hadn’t realized how dark it had gotten, as focused on her work as she was. She had no idea how much time had gone by, or why Cole was there. He obviously hadn’t wanted to talk, or he would’ve followed her out of the chapel.
Stepping toward the doors to let him into the building, she thought he’s here to break up with you. She squared her shoulders and prepared herself mentally and emotionally to hear him say it wasn’t going to work out between them.
Her heart flopped around inside her chest like a rubber chicken, but she got the door unlocked. Cole burst into the building, bringing the scent of rain and cologne with him. He did not look happy, though he was definitely on another level of good-looking with wet hair and that dangerous glint in his dark eyes.
“I’ve called you half a dozen times.” He slicked water off his bare arms. “And I’ve been looking for you for hours. I almost called in a missing persons.”
Berlin scoffed as a sliver of guilt embedded into her heart. Maybe she shouldn’t have silenced her phone. “I’m fine,” she said around the dryness in her throat. “Thirsty, but fine.” She moved past him, her bare feet touching some of the water that had dripped off him. “And I went through three more of your boxes.” It was amazing how much she could get done when she wasn’t obsessing about an upcoming dinner with Cole, or when she’d get to see Cole again, or how it felt to be kissed by Cole.
She entered the kitchen, her skin itching just from being in the same space as Cole. Not itching. Tingling. Tingling with anticipation. After pulling out a bottle of water, she opened it and drank almost the whole thing before turning to face him.
“Just get it over with,” she said.
Cole had the decency to look confused. “Get what over with?”
Berlin folded her arms, the plastic bottle crinkling in a way that made her cringe. “If you’re going to break up with me, just say it, and let’s move on.” She could be blunt too, if she had to be.
Cole’s mouth dropped open slightly and then he tipped his head back and had the audacity to laugh. The sound sounded joyful and bright, loud and booming as it filled her ears and the office around her.
She finished her water and smashed the bottle into a little disc before replacing the cap. The noise got him to quiet, and his gaze burned into Berlin like a laser. “I’m not here to break up with you.”
“No?”
He shook his head and paced further into the kitchen. He leaned against the counter and crossed his arms too. “I was mad yesterday, because you’d gotten me all…all worked up about the party, and meeting some of your family members, and being on my best behavior—”
“I never said you needed to be on your best behavior.” Berlin took a deep breath, gulping at the air. “You said you’d do that.”
His expression darkened. “And then you’re the one that made me look bad.”
She had no defense against his accusation. “I made a mistake.” Her voice sounded like she’d inhaled helium, and she turned away as her eyes began to burn. She would not cry in front of him. “I’m sorry. I just…you’d just….” She’d simply found him so attractive in that moment, with him being kind to her grandparents, and crouching down in front of her nieces and nephews, and learning he volunteered his time with teen boys.
She twisted back to him and employed her strength. “I’m sorry.”
He gazed at her evenly, that muscle in his jaw jumping. Then he pushed away from the counter and approached her. Before she could think, or move, or even take another breath, he cradled her face in both of his hands and said, “All right,” before kissing her like it was the first time.
Chapter Ten
Cole wasn’t sure what he was doing. He had come to the office building to break up with Berlin. Or at least he’d started out looking to find her to do exactly that.
But as the hours had dragged on, and he hadn’t been able to find her, the panic driving him to keep looking couldn’t be ignored. The thought of never seeing her again had his blood burning like lava and his nerves firing too quickly.
And as he kissed her now, all the same things were happening but for the opposite reason. Because she was his, and though she’d made a mistake at her parent’s party, she’d owned it. Admitted it. Apologized for it.
And that was a really good thing in Cole’s book, making Berlin ten times as attractive as he’d found her previously.
He finally pulled away, the taste of her in his mouth now, and he wiped his lips. “Okay, so I saw some soup at your place, and I’m starving.”
“You went in my house?”
“It’s on the front porch, though…yeah, I went inside. You left your car at the church. You could’ve been anywhere.” He shook his head, remembering the panic when he’d checked every room in her house and found them empty. He’d tried a couple of her sisters and even gone to her parents’ house.
Her mother had not been overly welcome, but her father said she sometimes went into work on Sunday if she was stressed. And with the audit, Cole had decided to try one more place before going back to the station and filing that missing persons report.
Berlin backed out of his arms, and Cole let her go. He was not used to having his feelings and life wrapped up in another person, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about it. He wasn’t even sure when it had happened. He and Berlin were still at the beginning of their relationship.
“I don’t want my sister’s chicken noodle soup.”
Cole watched her gather her dark hair into a ponytail. “Why’d you dye your hair?” He wasn’t sure why he’d asked now, why it mattered.
Her eyes flew to his. “I, well, I was ready to do something different to get a different result. My friends said I should start with my appearance.”
“Do you like it?”
She laughed darkly. “Not at all, but Starlee said it would be hard to reverse, so I’m going to let it grow out a little and then have her fix it up.”
Cole didn’t want her to go back to her office and do any more work that day. “I can make grilled cheese sandwiches,” he said. “I’d like to talk to you about church.” He’d felt something there that had been missing in his life.
Berlin turned back to him again. “Church?”
“I need food first,” he said. “I skipped lunch, because I was looking for you.”
Her expression pinched, and Cole regretted his words. “It’s fine. I just…let’s go across the street to my place. We can talk and eat there.”
Thankfully, Berlin didn’t argue. It took her several minutes to get ready to go, and Cole waited on a sleek black leather couch in the lobby, trying to gather his thoughts together into something that made sense. For maybe the first time in his life, he wasn’t exactly sure what he was doing. He’d been focused on his career for so long, and he always knew the next step to take for that.
What job to take. When to enroll in the FBI training class. Where to move.
But he had no idea what he was doing with Berlin.
Be honest. The pastor’s words had settled in Cole’s ears and meant something. He remembered how good he’d felt going to church with his family as he grew up. Sure, he’d gotten busy, but as he’d listened to the sermon, his heart had told him he needed to make time to feed his spirit, the same way he exercised, fed, and took care of his physical body.
Berlin appeared in the doorway of her office, now wearing her shoes. “Ready?”
Cole stood and said, “Ready,” though he had no idea what he was doing. He extended his hand toward her, relieved when she slipped her fingers between his. It felt like they were starting over—for the third time. Cole didn’t m
ind, especially if he could have another first kiss with Berlin.
June warmed and melted into July. The summer concert series started in the park, forcing Cole to bring in temporary officers to keep the patrols staffed and his full-time officers from banking too many overtime hours. With the audit going on, the last thing he needed was proof that he wasn’t careful with the budget.
The public wouldn’t like it if there weren’t cops in the park either, so Cole did his best to show the people he was working for the town and keep his officers healthy and happy.
He attended as many events on Independence Day as possible, ending the day lying on his back with Berlin curled into his side as they watched the fireworks explode over the town of Brush Creek.
Cole attended church each week, no matter if that meant he had to sacrifice sleep to keep up with his police work, his exercise regime, and spending time with Berlin. Though he burned the candle at both ends, he felt happier than he’d ever been.
So happy, in fact, he called his mother one day in late July to let her know everything that had gone on in his life for the past eight weeks.
“Ma,” he said. “It’s your favorite son.”
She laughed, the way she always did when he claimed to be her favorite. Yes, he’d spoken to her every week, and yes, she’d continued to badger him about “finding a girl” and “settling down” and “having babies.”
He and Berlin hadn’t spoken about children yet, and she hadn’t invited him to any more family functions. The closest he got was sitting next to her at church, a row or two behind her siblings, grandparents, and parents.
“What’re you up to?” His mom had the strongest Texas accent in the world, and it made Cole smile.
“Actually, I have some news for you.”
“You’re engaged.”
“Mom.” Now whatever he said would be much less impressive.
“You’re not moving again, are you?”
“No, Mom. But I am dating someone.”
She squealed, causing him to pull the phone away from his ear so he wouldn’t go deaf. “Who is she?” she asked. “Is she nice? What does she look like? How serious is it?”
