by Liz Isaacson
He chuckled and bent to pick up the tennis ball Sarge had dropped at his feet a few seconds ago. The dog whined and then barked. Cole threw the ball, sending Honor and Sarge across the lawn and giving himself a few seconds to talk.
“Her name is Berlin Fuller. Of course she’s nice. And…it’s getting serious, I suppose.”
She sighed, a long, drawn-out sound that conveyed happiness and some exasperation. “Finally. One of my boys is going to get married.”
Sarge returned with the ball, and Cole gave him a scrub along the head. “Mom, I didn’t say I was engaged.”
“Hey, you’re the only one with a girlfriend, so you’re the closest. Will you get married in Utah?”
“Mom,” he said. “I’m taking my Scouts camping next weekend.”
A long pause came through the line, and his mom said, “That sounds nice, dear,” and Cole bent to throw the ball again, a smile on his face.
Ten minutes later, Berlin appeared through the trees. She wore a pair of denim shorts and a blue tank top, her hair shorter than he’d ever seen it. The blonde had started to grow out again, and she’d obviously been to the salon to get it looking more normal. Not that he’d mentioned anything to her about the odd roots and the way the dark color was all wrong for her.
Cole may be in his first serious relationship, but he wasn’t stupid. Her false eyelashes had disappeared over the last week too, and he enjoyed the natural beauty of her so much more than the fabricated stuff. Another thing he planned on taking to the grave with him.
Honor saw her first and sprinted toward her. A lesser woman would’ve stutter-stepped and stalled, but Berlin kept on coming, even crouching down to receive the German shepherd. Her smile was genuine and beautiful, and Cole paused to watch her interact with his dog.
He suddenly wanted to call his mother back and ask how he would know he was in love. He’d never been in love before, and he had no idea what it felt like. But if it was anything like the warm, oozy feeling spreading through him as he watched his girlfriend, he suspected he might be close.
His heart started thudding in his chest a bit too hard for the level of exertion it took to throw a ball. He picked up the orange object and tossed it again, Sarge’s tongue flapping as he went after it. Even Berlin wasn’t a good distraction for Sarge, and unless Cole hid the ball, Sarge would never stop.
Berlin stood and approached him, radiant with a new hair color and that azure blouse that made her eyes practically electric.
“Hey.” He drew her into a hug and ran his non-throwing hand through her hair. The other one was a bit slobbery, and she’d obviously come straight from the salon. “Your hair looks great.”
“Starlee is a miracle worker.” Berlin stepped back and fingered the ends of her hair. “She managed to even out the color, and it’s still long enough for me to pull back.” She bent and picked up the ball this time. She handed it to him with a smile, and he tossed it for Sarge. Honor lay down at Berlin’s feet instead of going after something she wouldn’t be able to get. Smart dog.
“I wondered if you wanted to come to the family dinner this week.” Berlin didn’t look at him as she said it, so Cole copied her lead and kept his eyes on Sarge.
“I would love that.”
“I haven’t been since the retirement party.”
“Why not?”
She lifted one shoulder in a shrug, but Cole didn’t believe she didn’t know. He didn’t press her on it though. He hadn’t been in many relationships, but he knew better than to act like a cop when it came to personal relationships. At least that was what Jordan had told him.
He slipped one arm around her back. “I thought you were going out with Caitlyn and Scotty tonight.”
“I am.” She leaned into his chest. “Just stopped by when I saw you and your dogs out here.”
He often came to this field on the northeast side of Oxbow Park. It was away from the main thoroughfare, bordering the forest, and closest to his house. “Where are you guys going?”
“Oh, Caitlyn’s sister invited us to some concert in Vernal. Her boyfriend’s band or something at a comedy club.”
“You don’t sound overly excited about it.”
Berlin shrugged again, and Cole tightened his arm around her waist. “You want to talk about it?”
“Talk about what?”
“Whatever is bothering you.” Cole thought he’d learned quite a lot about what to say, and when, and when to keep his questions and thoughts to himself as the weeks passed and his relationship with Berlin grew.
She exhaled and finally turned to face him. “I’m worried that my parents won’t like you.”
He thought of her mother’s bright, piercing eyes the Sunday he’d gone to their house to ask after Berlin. “Why does it matter if they like me?” It wasn’t like they’d be living with her parents, though she did seem close with her family.
“I guess it doesn’t.”
“Why wouldn’t they like me?” he pressed. “I’m employed. The Chief of Police, which, I gotta say, is kind of impressive. It takes years to get the qualifications for Chief. I’m smart, I’m strong, I’m honest.” He hated that he was bragging about himself, but he honestly didn’t understand why they wouldn’t like him. “I even go to church now.”
She nodded, but her melancholy demeanor remained. Cole had never suffered from poor self-esteem before, but now he felt inadequate in ways he’d never considered.
He drew in a big breath and shoved the ball in his back pocket so Sarge would stop. “What time on Wednesday?”
“Six-thirty.” She gave him one last smile, stretched up and gave him a chaste kiss, and said, “I have to go meet my friends. I’ll call you later.”
Cole watched her go back the way she’d come, and then he clipped the leashes on his dogs and headed home for the rest of the evening.
He woke to the pealing of his phone, and he fumbled for the device, which he kept on his nightstand. Never on silent. The Chief of Police rarely slept deeply.
“Hello?” he answered, still squinting, as much as he could open his eyes. They stung, and he knew he hadn’t been asleep long enough.
Nothing came through the line, and he drew the phone back to look at the caller. His pulse spiked and he sat up. “Berlin? Are you all right?”
Scratching and what sounded like a scream came through the line. When she didn’t answer, Cole flew into action by pulling on a pair of jeans and the nearest T-shirt. He kept the line open as he hurried out to his cruiser. At the station, he burst through the doors and said to Mason, the cop on duty that night, “I need a trace on this call. Now.”
Chapter Eleven
Berlin laughed at Scotty’s joke, noticing the way the man beside her couldn’t keep his eyes off her best friend. Caitlyn sat beside her sister, along with four members of the band—the fifth being the one now typing something into Scotty’s phone. It had been a great set, and Berlin actually enjoyed herself quite a lot.
She’d tried to picture Cole in this setting, and she couldn’t do it. Well, she could, but he’d be scoping out how much the girls at the back table were drinking, and which exits were blocked by people, and the fastest way to get out of the building in case something went down. He’d keep his eyes peeled and barely contribute to the conversation.
Thinking like a cop wasn’t a bad thing, except for when Berlin just wanted to have fun. Cole had a different brand of fun, and this night out with her friends was refreshing. It also reminded her how much she enjoyed Cole’s company, but in a different way.
Dan scooted closer to her, flipping the ends of her hair. “Remember me?”
A vein of unease squirreled through her, but he didn’t touch her again. He had a great smile, sure. And she did remember him, but she’d been hoping he hadn’t remembered her, what with the different hair color and the eight years since she’d last seen him.
“Sure.” She had to shout to be heard over the din in the comedy club. Another band had set up and they didn’t h
ave quite the way with a melody that the men at her table did. She sipped her soda.
“I think you worked at the grocer in Brush Creek for like, a minute.” She gave him a smile, hoping it said we can talk, but I’m not going out with you and don’t you dare touch me again.
Dan returned the smile. “I was there about three weeks, actually.”
“Ah, three weeks.” She nodded like that was all anyone ever worked at their jobs.
“We got coffee once.”
“Yes, we did.” Eight years ago. When she was nineteen. She still didn’t know the guy’s last name.
“Maybe you’d like to do that again.” He tapped his fingertips on the tabletop and wouldn’t take his eyes off her.
Before Berlin could tell him she was seeing someone else, his hand covered hers and someone barked, “Berlin.”
She spun toward the familiar, beastly voice to look up into Cole’s face. He wore an expression of anger and relief, which really didn’t mix well. “What’s going on here?” he growled.
All the conversations at the table ceased, and the lead singer of the band on stage said, “That’s it for us. Thanks.”
A smattering of clapping lifted into the air, and then it felt like the entire club took a breath and held it.
Berlin tugged her hand out from under Dan’s and stood. “What are you doing here?”
“You called me.” He held up his phone, where a timer on her call ticked up to fifty-one minutes.
She patted her pockets as Cole glared around the table like everyone there should be arrested for questioning. “I don’t even know where my phone is.” She wanted to punch Dan when he stepped to her side.
“Is this guy bothering you?”
Cole switched his gaze to Dan, and Berlin was surprised the grocery-store-stock-boy-turned-drummer didn’t incinerate on the spot. “Bothering her? You’re bothering me, pal.”
“Cole.” Berlin placed a palm on his chest and pushed. He didn’t so much as budge a single centimeter, nor did he look at her. “Outside. Now.”
Everyone in the club was watching them now, and she saw how disheveled Cole looked, what with his T-shirt on backward and all.
“Go,” she said again, her voice practically echoing off the pipes in the industrial ceiling. “Right now.”
He glared at Dan for another moment and said, “She’s mine, pal,” before leaving.
Berlin’s lungs quaked. She’s mine? What in the world did that mean? The door slammed behind him, and she turned on wooden legs back to her table. “I’m so sorry,” she said in a voice that belonged to a rabbit. “Caitlyn, I’ll catch a ride back to town with Cole.”
She and Scotty stood and enveloped her in a hug. “You sure?” Caitlyn whispered.
“I’ll leave right now,” Scotty said.
“I can stay with my sister,” Caitlyn added.
Berlin thought of how Scotty had been flirting with the bass guitarist, and how happy Caitlyn had been to meet up with her sister. So she held onto them for an extra moment and then cleared her throat. “No, really. You guys stay. I’ll be fine.” She nodded once, then again, and took a deep, deep breath before she faced the exit.
She marched out with a strong stride that faltered the moment she saw Cole pacing in the parking lot, the red and blue lights of his police vehicle circling. The red-blue red-blue swirls made her a little queasy.
“What was that?” Her tone broadcasted her displeasure, and she took in the car. He’d driven here as if on police business. The call had only been fifty-one minutes old, and it was a solid hour drive from Brush Creek. “How did you even know where I was?”
He stormed toward her. “I traced your phone call.”
Her eyebrows flew up as fury filled her. “You traced my call.” She’d never be able to go anywhere without him knowing. Flashes of Marc and his insane possessive behavior blinked through her mind’s eye.
“You were holding hands with another guy. Who is he, huh?”
Berlin couldn’t even imagine what Cole would do if he knew she had gone out with Dan eight years ago. “I was not holding hands with him. That guy was just a little touchy-feely. I was handling it.”
His laugh sounded anything but happy. “You were handling it. Right.” Cole ran his fingers through his hair and looked at her, his hard gaze softening the tiniest bit. “I was worried about you.”
“So you drove for an hour just to be the barking beast?” She shook her head, her earlier misgivings about Cole surfacing, and surfacing fast. “You don’t own me, Cole. I’m not your…your property.” She folded her arms to keep the trembling dormant though it was a warm night.
“I—”
“And I don’t appreciate the jealous boyfriend routine. I’ve been there, and done that, and I’m not doing it again.”
His gray eyes looked like bottomless pits, and he practically spat out the words, “I thought you were in trouble.”
“But when you walked in, and clearly saw that I wasn’t, why couldn’t you just, I don’t know.” She threw her hands into the air. “Get in your police car and go home.” The lights still flashed in her face every other second, and in that moment, she hated them. Hated that he had access to her wherever she went. Hated that he’d made her feel like an object to be bought and sold.
“You should go,” she said, trying to be brave and strong and commanding, the way he always was. In reality, her voice trembled and the cop in Cole definitely heard it.
“I should go? Are you going to come with me?”
Deciding on the spot, Berlin said, “No. I came to hang out with my friends tonight.” She advanced forward a step. “I told you who I’d be with, and what I’d be doing. I said I’d call when I got home.” She poked his chest, causing him to flinch. “You don’t get to come barging in because you were worried. That’s not a good enough excuse.”
She turned around to go back inside, not stopping even when he called, “Berlin,” after her.
Pausing with her door on the handle, she half-twisted back to him. “Go home, Cole. And fix your T-shirt. It’s on backward.” She opened the door and went inside, finally feeling a measure of power in the relationship where he’d always been in the driver’s seat.
She returned to the table, taking a spot between Scotty and Caitlyn so she didn’t have to deal with Handsy Dan.
“Everything okay?” Caitlyn asked.
“Just fine,” she said. “I just didn’t want to go with him like I thought I would.”
“Did you guys break up?” Scotty whispered.
Berlin didn’t want to answer that question. But she said, “Not yet,” with a measure of doom in her voice.
Instead of calling Cole like she’d said she would, she texted him when she got home. Made it home safe. Just wanted you to know.
She feared that if she didn’t let him know, he’d be busting down her front door before dawn. She stepped out of her clothes and her shoes before slipping into her pajamas. She collapsed on the bed without taking off her makeup, knowing she’d pay for it in the morning with red, watery eyes until at least noon.
Can we talk? His text made her anger soften, but she really didn’t want to speak with him until her head was clear. She’d stayed silent for the ride home, glad Caitlyn and Scotty didn’t ask her more questions or pressure her to tell them how she felt.
She didn’t know how she felt.
Not right now, she tapped out and sent before silencing her phone.
Before she could set it on the charger, another message from Cole came in. When?
She closed her eyes as Brownie hopped up onto the bed beside her. She stroked his soft fur and said, “Where’s Cocoa?” The other Lhasa Apso made an appearance, stepping gingerly over the blankets until she came to Berlin’s other side.
“Oh, there she is. Hey, Cocoa. What did you guys do tonight, huh? Huh?” She gave them both a scrub while her phone continued to bleep and flash at her. “I listened to a great band, and talked with my friends. Then Cole came in�
��you guys remember Cole, right? He has the two big shepherds.”
Berlin stared at the ceiling, wishing with everything inside her that she wasn’t talking to two dogs right now. She didn’t want to come home to four-legged friends, but someone who would listen to her, be her partner, hold and comfort her when she needed it, or celebrate with her when something amazing happened.
For a few weeks now, she’d been picturing Cole in that role. Cole as the one she came home to. Cole who would listen, comfort, talk, and celebrate with her.
But the man she’d seen at the club tonight? She didn’t want any part of that man. And maybe that was who Cole really was. A beast.
“Anyway, Cole came in,” she continued for Brownie and Cocoa. “And we got in a fight, and I think it’s over for us.” Tears pricked her eyes and she didn’t try to hold them back.
Cocoa whined, almost the more perceptive and sensitive of the two dogs and snuggled her head right up under Berlin’s chin.
She already wouldn’t be able to sleep tonight, but she hoped Cole would, so she decided to wait until morning to let him know he didn’t need to come to the family dinner on Wednesday, and he didn’t need to waste his police resources on her anymore.
She wasn’t sure why she’d stopped by the bakery before going to the station. She didn’t want to hurt Cole, but she didn’t want to be tracked down every time she went to lunch with her mom, or out with her friends, or over to the office to work on a Sunday afternoon.
The clock ticked to seven, and she got out of her car. She’d considered texting him, but in the end, she couldn’t do it. He deserved a face-to-face discussion and break up. They’d been seeing each other for over two months, and while big topics like children and marriage hadn’t come up yet, Berlin had felt like they were right around the corner.
Cole hadn’t arrived yet. She knew because he always parked right out front, and his cruiser wasn’t there. The building was unlocked, so she went in, glad most of the desks were empty.
