by Lucy Clark
‘Bring Pierre in,’ Giselle called from the rear of the surgery. ‘I am all set up and ready for him.’
Abbey helped Mark and Giselle transfer Pierre to the operating table while Joshua went to the sink and started scrubbing. She kept a close eye on her colleague as Giselle and Mark took care of the patient, getting him anaesthetised. Joshua still didn’t look one hundred per cent and as she joined him at the small scrub sink, she couldn’t help but let her concern out.
‘You can do this, right?’
‘Of course I can,’ he snapped. ‘What makes you doubt me?’
‘You’re as pale and as skittish as you were for our first experiment as lab partners.’
Joshua stared at her for a moment before his face hardened, his eyes turning positively glacial. ‘I need to focus.’ With that, he returned to vigorously scrubbing his hands.
‘I’m guessing we don’t have a laparoscope?’ Abbey asked the room in general.
‘Non, chérie,’ Giselle replied. ‘Joshua will remove the appendix via laparotomy. Yes?’ she asked.
‘Of course.’ Joshua snapped again, and it was then Abbey realised he wasn’t just mad with her. Something wasn’t right. She had no idea what it was but at the moment all that mattered was Pierre. Everything else could wait. The last thing they needed now was more tension in the room, especially between the medical staff, who needed to be united in order to save Pierre’s life.
She decided it was up to her to keep the peace, preferring that if Joshua was going to get cross at anyone, it would be her. ‘I know you’re concentrating, Joshua, but I thought I should let you know that I’ve never assisted with a laparotomy before.’
His response was to grunt.
‘If you wouldn’t mind talking me through whatever it is you need me to do, I’d appreciate it. If I understand what’s going on, I’m not going to make any errors.’
There was a pause, then one clipped word. ‘Fine.’
Was it her imagination, or had he mellowed in that one instant? Had he thought she’d be picking on him, pointing out any mistakes he might be making? This wasn’t an experiment in a lab, this was a man’s life, and she would do anything to have the next hour or so run as smoothly as possible. Being an A and E specialist, she was used to dealing with multiple traumas as well as staff who were on edge. If everyone was calm and worked together as a team, there were usually few complications. Yet if people were antagonistic towards each other…No. It was up to her at the moment to keep the peace, to take her place as assistant to the surgeon and do what Joshua needed her to do.
What she didn’t need was to be quite so aware of him as they stood side by side at the scrub sink. His warmth, his scent, his nearness all radiated towards her. He was most definitely having an unwanted effect on her. That was the last thing she needed as it definitely wasn’t making her feel calm and collected.
She was off men. She didn’t want to be around them, not in a romantic light, even if they were old acquaintances. She’d made the decision to leave her old life behind her in Sydney and work for PMA. After the chemotherapy, after her hair had grown back, after she’d stopped feeling so sick, after fielding sympathetic pity glances from colleagues for so long, the need for a change, to find where her new life might be, had led Abbey here. Now, three years after her initial surgery, she found herself as far away from her past problems as she could be, only to be faced with a new problem. Her increasing awareness of the man beside her—a man who could well be married.
Frowning, she looked back at her hands and scrubbed them even more vigorously than was called for.
Joshua finished scrubbing and kneed open a cupboard before reaching in to retrieve a sterile towel to wipe his hands. He’d noticed Abbey’s frown and wondered if it was there because of him or because of the situation she now found herself in. Perhaps she was just nervous about the operation they were going to perform? As they’d stood there, side by side at the sink, Joshua’s focus had changed from mentally going through the surgery he’d performed many times in the past to the woman standing next to him.
To say he was aware of her was an understatement. Her scent was one of sweet sunshine and hope. Was that possible? Could Abbey Bateman bring him hope? He never would have thought it before now but he had to keep reminding himself that they were different people now from who they’d been back then. Still, he felt an awareness between them and that in itself was disturbing. He wasn’t in the market for another relationship. He’d completely failed at his marriage, in so many ways, that he most certainly wouldn’t recommend it to anyone. However, the way Abbey made him feel only seemed to be growing the more time he spent with her. Were these feelings simply residuals? Something left over? Or were they a burning pilot light?
They both continued getting ready, doing what needed to be done, Giselle attending to Pierre while Mark administered the anaesthetic. Abbey glanced at Joshua again, hating the fact that she was so aware of him. How on earth was she supposed to concentrate when he was standing right next to her? She knew it was no one’s fault that she was experiencing these emotions but if there was one thing she liked to be, it was in control.
Her life had been turned upside down and shaken all around. She’d had no control over being attacked by ovarian cancer. She’d had no control over the radical surgery she’d required. She’d had no control over the chemotherapy treatments she’d had to endure, which had included losing her hair. She’d had no control over what the disease had done to her body but she’d worked excessively hard to ensure she coped with the emotional upheaval. Even now, some days she simply wanted to curl into the foetal position and cry.
Control? She’d had absolutely no control over what had happened to her in the past and she’d vowed, once the chemo had finished and she’d been given a clean bill of health, that she would structure her life so neatly that wherever possible she would have some comforting level of control.
This was most definitely not one of those situations, and as they continued to gown and glove up, Abbey sent up a silent prayer that everything would go according to plan before she took her place beside Joshua. They all needed to be focused and as she saw that Joshua’s face was still quite pale, she realised it was up to her to ensure they all stayed on track.
Giselle had removed Pierre’s clothing and as the Frenchwoman scrubbed, Abbey swabbed and draped the patient. Joshua was busy looking over the instruments, mentally organising them, but he kept glancing at his anaesthetised friend. There was a strange look in his eyes, one that seemed to reflect fear and pain. Why was he so nervous about operating? What on earth had happened to him to make him like this? It was as though he was simply a shadow of his former self.
‘Patient’s anaesthetised,’ Mark announced. ‘Ready when you are, Doctors.’ He paused, then looked at his friend. ‘You all right to do this, Josh?’
‘He is fine,’ Giselle answered for him. ‘Can you not see he is fine? He is concentrating. He is ready.’
Mark shrugged. Abbey watched Joshua, certain now there was something wrong. He glared at his friends, looking as though he was ready to explode. She needed to step in, to do something, to keep them all calm.
‘You know, I never thought to ask,’ she interjected, her tone light. ‘Do you operate left- or right-handed? I, for example, am left-handed but when I’m working, I tend to do everything right-handed. Did you ever notice that back when we were lab partners, Joshua? I didn’t pick up on it until my first year in A and E.’
‘I noticed it,’ he remarked. ‘I was always impressed with your ambidexterity but as commenting on it would have been considered a compliment, I refrained from saying anything.’
‘Really?’ Her eyes sparkled with delight at his words. ‘Wow. You were impressed with me back then.’
‘Great.’ Joshua exhaled slowly and Abbey saw him visibly start to relax a little. ‘Now you’re going to get an inflated ego.’
‘I’ll try to keep it under control but only while we’re in here. Th
e instant this procedure is done, I’m going to bug you to tell me other ways I impressed you in the past.’
She was impressing him now because he could well see how she was diffusing his tension. ‘Then I’d better take my time with the surgery, hoping you might forget.’
‘There’s always that,’ she said as she glanced at him. He was looking down at Pierre, supine and anaesthetised on the table, waiting. ‘Let’s get this operation under way.’ Abbey’s words were soft and encouraging. ‘We can do this,’ she assured him.
He was sweating and she knew it wasn’t from the heat in the room. The operating room’s large bright light was shining above the patient, casting light where it was needed, but she also doubted that it could have made Joshua sweat as much as he was now. He was covered in a fine sheen and it was starting to soak into the rim of his theatre cap.
‘Joshua?’ Abbey took in his pale pallor, keeping her tone calm.
No answer.
She watched him swallow, his Adam’s apple sliding up and down his throat, before he opened his mouth and licked his lips. She tried again. ‘Dry throat? Need some water?’
There was something most definitely wrong and Abbey wished to goodness she knew what it was. They needed to focus. ‘Joshua? I need you to focus because right now Pierre has more colour than you.’ Abbey kept her voice firm, needing to get through to him. ‘Come on. You won’t let your friend die and I need you to help me. Just like when we were lab partners. We can do this. Together. Remember?’
‘I remember.’ The two words were spoken softly but rather hoarsely. Joshua cleared his throat again and dragged in a deep breath before looking intently into Abbey’s eyes. At that moment it was as though they had a firm connection. Working together, because they had to. Focusing and getting the job done, because they had to.
When next he spoke, there was firmness to his words. ‘Let’s do this.’
Abbey had no idea what type of war had just gone on inside Joshua’s head but, thankfully, she’d been able to bring him back from wherever he’d gone. Returning her thoughts to her patient, she tried to focus and relax as he held out his hand for the scalpel.
Joshua made a neat incision and she listened to his calm voice letting her know what he was doing so she could assist effectively.
‘Kidney dish,’ he said, and soon the offending little organ was out of Pierre’s body and in the kidney dish. Giselle examined it closely.
‘Now, I’m going to check around the area to ensure there aren’t any other signs of trouble,’ Joshua said, his calm voice floating over the room as he gave her more specific instructions.
‘It is intact,’ Giselle announced, and Abbey nodded. ‘It is septic, though. It is no wonder this man was in so much pain. Peritonitis wasn’t far away.’
‘Looks as though every thing’s fine.’ Joshua breathed with relief and when their gazes met across the operating table, their eyes twinkled with appreciation and she knew they were both smiling beneath their masks. It was then that Abbey realised she could stand there and look in to his eyes for ever. He had the ability to mesmerise her with just one look, and a spark of the tingles she’d ignored all those years ago started deep her in belly before spreading throughout her entire body. Abbey sighed and then straightened as she realised where her thoughts had just taken her.
‘Uh…Mark. How’s he holding up?’ Joshua asked, looking away from Abbey. How could she make even scrubs look sexy? It was wrong. When he’d stared into her eyes, he’d been surprised to see a spark of delight there. Did she feel it, too?
‘Brilliant.’
‘Good. Well, all right, then. I guess I’m ready to suture this wound closed,’ he stated, satisfied that the immediate threat to Pierre’s life had now been eliminated. Their patient was fine. Everyone had performed admirably, pulling through as they always did in an emergency, and had saved the day. He hated to admit it but he couldn’t have done it without Abbey’s know-how and steady guidance.
Finally, they were done and Giselle put a clean bandage on the wound. Mark was ready to start reversing the anaesthetic and the entire atmosphere in the room was one of great relief. Abbey started tidying the instruments, doing a final count before getting them into the steriliser. As she worked alongside Joshua, she tried hard to ignore him as best as she could, trying not to be so aware of his manly scent or the way the heat from his body seemed to ignite her blood, making it pump faster with newly awakened desire.
Finally, she could take it no longer. ‘I’m just going to get some air,’ she said after degowning, and walked out to the front verandah of the building. There were a few chairs scattered here and there, along with two little plastic chairs. It was then Abbey realised that although this was the doctor’s surgery, it was also Joshua’s residence. These were the chairs where he probably sat at night, along with his cute little twins, watching as the sun disappeared and the stars came out.
She leaned against the rail of the old weatherboard home, trying to get control over her wayward thoughts. She wasn’t supposed to be attracted to him. He was her annoying nemesis from medical school. Yet half a day in his company had proved that that wasn’t the case at all.
She heard the front screen door open and close but she didn’t need to look over her shoulder to know who it was. She could sense him, hear his soft footfalls coming closer. Shifting backwards, she inadvertently tripped on a small plastic chair and would have fallen had it not been for Joshua’s firm, strong arms coming about her, catching her before disaster could strike.
‘Are you all right?’ The words were spoken softly, his mouth still quite close to her ear as he shifted the small chair out of the way with his foot. He liked the way she felt in his arms but he also knew it was wrong. He was disastrous at relationships and while Abbey had never been one of his favourite people in the past, it would do no good to get involved with her in a personal way now. Still, one or two more moments wouldn’t hurt, right? He breathed in deeply, his cheek resting near her hair, the silky strands soft against his skin as her scent wound itself about him.
Abbey was struggling to right herself, her legs twisted, her upper body pressed up against Joshua as he held her firmly. It was a nice sensation. To be held, to be supported by someone. She’d taken so much on her shoulders during the past few years that it wasn’t until that moment, when she leaned against him, that she realised how tired she was. Tired of being brave. Tired of being in control. Tired of being alone.
She swallowed over the sudden lump in her throat and was astonished to find tears were once more threatening to make themselves known. What was it about Joshua and compassion? This was the second time he’d offered it and this was the second time she’d been close to tears.
‘My kids are as messy as their old man,’ he murmured, his mouth near her ear, his breath causing goose bumps to scatter down her spine. Abbey momentarily closed her eyes. She didn’t want his yummy voice, or his firm, sexy body, or his hypnotic eyes to distract her, especially when she was attempting to get herself under control.
She glanced up and shifted away, wondering if she’d imagined his reluctance in letting her go. She sat in one of the chairs, not trusting her legs to hold her up, especially given the embrace they’d just shared.
‘So…uh…where will I be living once they fix the ceiling fans?’
Joshua leaned one hip on the rail and pointed across the road at an old weatherboard home that was almost identical to his, except smaller. ‘That’s where Dr Turner used to live. She and her husband came out here long before the rig arrived bringing with it mass expansion of the area. This used to just be the surgery but when I decided to stay, the town decided to build me a residence out the back.’
‘Next door to the pub?’
He grinned. ‘Ideal location. Close to the beer and cold drinks.’
‘And the kitchen.’ Abbey’s smile increased. ‘I still can’t believe you like to cook.’
‘Believe it, honey. Besides, it’s also close for Rach to ta
ke care of the kids.’
‘And when the pub’s busy? Who looks after your kids then?’
Joshua shrugged. ‘The whole town, actually. It’s a strange situation but my kids belong to the whole town.’ He glanced down at his feet, his tone becoming less free. ‘They were born here. In this very house.’
‘Really?’
‘They were only five weeks premature but for twins, that’s still not good. Dr Turner was an expert at dealing with preemies, though. She’d done her fair share of deliveries and dealt with quite a lot of neonates in her time.’
‘How old are they?’
‘They’ll be three on Sunday.’
‘This Sunday?’
Joshua nodded. ‘I am in full party-planning mode.’
‘You don’t sound too thrilled. I thought children’s birthday parties were supposed to be grand, glorious affairs with lots of lollies and cakes.’
‘That sounds about right. They’ve both been putting in their orders for cakes and presents.’
She smiled at that, but Joshua seemed tired even thinking about it. ‘They’re gorgeous children, Joshua. Both so fair with big blue eyes. They must be a handful, though.’
‘They are.’ His nod was emphatic.
Abbey swallowed, knowing she needed to ask the question but not sure she wanted to know the answer. ‘And their mother?’
Joshua looked at her for a long moment before nodding slowly. ‘Best you hear the gossip from me. Everyone in the town knows what happened.’
‘You don’t have to tell me if you—’
‘It’s fine.’ His words were back to being brisk and he stood and walked to the opposite side of the verandah.
‘Look, Joshua, you don’t have to talk to me if you don’t want to but I won’t deny that I am very curious. You’ve also just gone quite pale again. Not as white as you were in there but still a close second.’
Joshua walked over and sat in the chair opposite her. He was silent, not volunteering any information but Abbey could see it brewing and bubbling away beneath the surface.
