The Doctor's Double Trouble

by Lucy Clark

  Yes, she desperately wanted that person to be Joshua and she wanted it so badly because she was in love with him. She’d fallen in love with a man who was incredibly handsome, incredibly strong and incredibly generous with his time and energies. She loved it when he held her, when he kissed her, when he looked deeply into her eyes as though she was the only woman in the world who mattered to him.

  She held up a little pink nightie, complete with flowers and butterflies, and couldn’t help closing her eyes and snuggling it against her face. The fresh scent of laundry detergent filled her senses and she imagined giving little Becka a cuddle while she was wearing the nightie, of tucking the moppet into her cot and dropping a kiss to her forehead.

  Then she imagined kissing little Jimmy goodnight before tiptoeing out of the room, to sit down with their father, his strong arms coming around her, making her feel cherished and loved and incredibly special. They would be together. The four of them. A family.

  ‘Abbey?’

  She heard Joshua’s voice from the bathroom and opened her eyes, brushing away the tears she’d been unaware had fallen. ‘Stupid cancer,’ she murmured, damping down the anger she often felt towards the disease that had ravaged her body, leaving her feeling less of a woman. She knew it was stupid to feel that way but that’s how it was. That’s how it had been for the past few years, until she’d bumped into Joshua again. He made her feel wonderful and special. He made her feel…whole and that was a sensation she wanted to have for the rest of her life.

  ‘Can you bring me another towel, please?’

  Pulling herself together, Abbey reached for a tissue and quickly blew her nose before gathering the children’s nightclothes together and then heading to the linen cupboard where she extracted another fluffy white towel. When she re-entered the bathroom, it was to find the floor rather wet, the two children in the bath with decidedly less bathwater than previously and Joshua, standing straight, almost drowned with splashed water, a goofy grin on his lips.

  ‘Your towel, Daddy.’

  He grinned at her as he rubbed his arms and then his hair, leaving it messy and a little bit spiky. It only made him even more drop-dead sexy and Abbey swallowed over the urge to run her fingers through those gorgeous locks of his, to help him take off his wet clothes and rub the rest of him dry. Good heavens, he was like sex on legs and she was having a difficult time controlling her reaction to him.

  ‘Oh, honey. Don’t go looking at me like that,’ he growled. ‘Not when we have an audience.’ His voice was deep and husky as though he knew exactly how he was affecting her, and in return it was causing a chain reaction to explode within him.

  ‘Let’s get the kids out, fed and into bed,’ he said again, forcing himself to turn away from the alluring Abbey and get Becka’s towel ready.

  ‘Yes. Of course. We need to focus on the children.’ Abbey was speaking softly and more to herself but when Joshua began to chuckle, his rumbling laughter washing over her as though it were the most wonderful sound in the world, she realised he’d heard her. ‘Sorry,’ she mumbled.

  ‘Hey,’ he said as he lifted Becka from the bath and wrapped her up. ‘Don’t be sorry, Abbey. I like the way you look at me.’

  Abbey swallowed. ‘You do?’

  ‘You’d better believe it.’

  ‘Jimmy’s turn,’ the toddler demanded, and stood up in the bath. Abbey was quick to take him out before he slipped over and placed him on the bathmat, wrapping him in his fluffy towel. ‘I love you, Abbey.’ He leaned into her and her arms naturally came about his little body, picking him up and cuddling him close.

  ‘Oh, sweetie. I love you, too.’ She dropped a kiss to his head and then looked from son to father, Joshua’s eyes smiling with delight.

  ‘My son has good taste.’

  She followed him into the twins’ room, trying not to dwell on that last comment of Joshua’s. They dressed the children for bed, the twins talking with animation about the pictures she’d drawn for them.

  ‘They both look at those pictures every night and say “Goodnight, Abbey” before they go to sleep,’ Joshua told her. ‘You’ve won them over.’

  Abbey tried to swallow over the lump in her throat. ‘They’ve won me over, too.’ Sucking in a deep breath, she clapped her hands together. ‘What’s next on the list?’

  ‘Dinner,’ the twins chorused, and ran out to the kitchen, leaving the adults to follow.

  Abbey sat in Joshua’s kitchen, having helped the children to set the table, and watched as he whipped up a healthy meal of chicken and vegetables.

  ‘I keep forgetting how you do amazing things with food,’ Abbey remarked as she ate, not realising she was hungry until the mouth-watering aromas had filled the air. It was an odd setting, sitting around a dining table, eating with Joshua and two children, in a house she didn’t live in, feeling as though everything was right with her world.

  Both children chattered through dinner, keeping the conversation flowing on the importance of red versus green crayons and which one really was the best. Becka, though, seemed to be struggling to stay awake and Abbey’s heart turned over with love and laughter as she watched the little girl’s head nod every now and then, her spoon clattering to her almost empty plate.

  ‘Poor baby,’ she murmured, and quickly took her out of her high-chair. Becka snuggled into her. Abbey breathed in deeply, the scent of the child filling her heart with love. Dropping a kiss to the moppet’s head, she met Joshua’s gaze.

  ‘Seems as though it’s unanimous.’

  ‘What is?’

  ‘We all like our Abbey.’

  ‘Oh.’ She wasn’t sure what to say to that and so decided not to say anything else.

  ‘I’ll go put Becka in her cot.’

  ‘Right. I’ll help Jimmy finish his dinner.’ He picked up Jimmy’s spoon and started feeding his son. Jimmy was more than happy to have the responsibility of feeding himself taken over by someone else as he, too, seemed to be tiring more and more with each passing second. ‘See you in a few minutes.’

  Abbey held Becka in her arms, rocking her back and forth, ensuring the child really was asleep before putting her down in her cot. Joshua came in as she was tucking Becka in and when Jimmy started to cry, protesting about being put to bed even though he was almost halfasleep already, Abbey started to sing a soothing lullaby.

  The strange sound, the sweetness of it and the fact that he was almost out of energy to fight any more, had Jimmy settling down quite quickly and thankfully not waking his sister. With the nightlight on, Abbey and Joshua tiptoed out of the room.

  ‘Abbey, you have a beautiful voice.’ Joshua’s words were intent and heartfelt as they headed into the kitchen. He switched the kettle on, taking out two mugs and then pulling out a small box of herbal teas. ‘Chamomile?’ he asked, and she nodded. ‘I should have expected it.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘That a beautiful woman should also have a beautiful voice.’ He turned to look at her as he spoke and Abbey tried not to blush under his close scrutiny.

  ‘Thank you.’

  ‘You were wonderful with the children,’ he commented, sitting opposite her as he waited for the kettle to boil.

  ‘So were you. Joshua, you are a good father. Trust in that and trust your instincts.’

  He nodded. ‘You’re right. You always are.’

  ‘It’s clear that your children love you as much as you love them.’

  ‘Strange that it’s taken me three years to realise that.’ He laughed without humour. ‘I’ve always loved them, always provided for them, been there for them when they needed me, but it was you who showed me that I hadn’t taken the time to get to know them, to find out who they are as individuals. I’m really enjoying it.’

  He reached across the table and took her hands in his. ‘I feel as though I’m constantly thanking you, Abbey, but, really, you have made a big difference in my life. You’ve helped me to face up to my past with Miriam, to realise that my marriage wasn’t that s
trong and that I was bound to end up a single parent. Sure, it’s devastating that Miriam had to die and I still feel a level of responsibility for her death, I always will, but I’ve also been able to let a lot of those past hurts and guilt go and I couldn’t have done that without you.’

  ‘Stop. You’re going to make me blush,’ she said, trying to joke her way through it. Joshua rubbed his thumbs over her knuckles, caressing her skin, causing her heart rate to increase. He was far too alluring and when he touched her, especially as tenderly as he was now, she found it difficult to think or remember anything.

  ‘Abbey. Ever since I’ve met you, way back in medical school, we’ve had this bond, this strange, often antagonistic but powerful bond. It’s linked us, helped us, guided us and brought us to where we are. Here and now.’

  ‘Spanning sixteen years.’

  ‘Exactly.’

  Abbey swallowed, listening intently to what he was saying, trying to guess where it might be heading and trying to focus as his rich, deep tones washed over her, turning her mind to mush.

  ‘We get along really well and there’s no denying there’s a definite attraction between us. You know about my past, you’ve met my children and they adore you.’

  ‘What are you saying?’ she asked, a little bewildered.

  ‘I’m saying that you belong with us.’

  ‘Us?’ Abbey’s eyebrows hit her hairline.

  ‘Me. The children.’

  ‘Belong?’ Abbey was totally confused now.

  ‘I think we should get married.’

  Chapter Eleven

  ABBEY paced around her house, unable to sleep, unable to make any rational sense out of what had happened that evening.

  ‘I think we should get married.’

  Joshua’s words resounded through her mind again and again. It made no sense. Well, she rationalised, the way he’d laid everything out so neatly, so clearly, so concisely had made perfect sense, but the fact that he’d put no emotion into his so-called proposal meant that it made no sense at all. Not really.

  ‘It makes perfect sense,’ Joshua had said, letting go of her hands to finish making their cups of tea. ‘Watching us all tonight, you can see that we’re good together. My kids don’t have a mother and I’m not trying to be callous or unkind but the fact of the matter is that you are perfect motherhood material. Abbey, the way you relate to them is amazing. You’d be so wonderful for them.’

  ‘And that way I get to be a mother without having children of my own.’ Abbey had said the words Joshua had been alluding to.

  ‘You’re so natural. You were meant to be a mother.’

  ‘Thank you.’ Abbey had stood, ignoring the tea on the table, needing some distance from him, not wanting him to touch her again because she couldn’t think properly when he did that. Right now it was imperative that she think properly.

  ‘Obviously, I’m moving too fast.’

  ‘Just a little, Joshua. Asking…what you’re asking, well, it’s a little…’

  ‘I know. I understand that you might want to take some time to think it over.’

  ‘I think you should take some time to think this over. Just because I can’t have children and your children need a mother is no reason for you to start proposing marriage.’

  ‘Abbey.’ Joshua walked over and placed his hands on her shoulders. ‘What is it?’

  ‘What is it?’ she repeated with utter incredulity, remembering to try and keep her voice down so she didn’t wake the children. ‘Are there any other reasons why you think we should get married? Or is convenience the only one that comes to mind?’

  ‘Well…of course there’s the attraction we feel for each other. I like you, Abbey. I like you a lot and I know you feel the same about me. It’s been building for…well, since med school.’

  ‘Like?’ Abbey whispered the word in disbelief. Like? He thought she just liked him? It would have been so easy to say yes, especially as she loved him with all her heart, but she couldn’t enter into a marriage with a man who didn’t love her. She already had an emptiness deep inside her body, she didn’t need another one deep inside her heart.

  ‘Listen, take some time,’ he said. ‘You don’t have to give me an answer right away.’

  ‘But are you sure, Joshua? Are you sure this is what you really want?’ Abbey met his gaze, her eyes intent and waiting…waiting for him to say the words that could change her life, the words that could make this situation turn from one of a garish nightmare to one of joyous sunshine. Every woman wanted the man of her dreams to propose, to confess his undying love, to sweep her off her feet in a silly romantic gesture, but apparently, in her case, the man of her dreams appeared to be more practical than romantic.

  Abbey continued to pace around her house, still unable to focus on anything other than her churning thoughts. Around and around they went but the one they kept stopping on was the memory of Joshua’s face when she’d turned down his proposal.

  ‘I don’t need time to think about it, Joshua.’ She’d seen hope flare in his eyes but she wasn’t looking for hope—she was looking for love. She may have found it with him but it was obvious that he hadn’t found it with her. He liked her and maybe that’s what his first marriage had been based upon—like. It didn’t matter what had happened between Joshua and his first wife, it didn’t matter how their marriage had worked or functioned. She was Abbey, she was a romantic at heart, and she was a woman who believed marriage between two people should be grounded in love.

  ‘I’m afraid I have to decline your generous offer.’

  ‘But, Abbey. It’ll work. We’re compatible. All four of us. We fit.’

  Abbey had picked up her hat and taken a few more steps towards the door. ‘No, Joshua. Obviously we don’t.’

  He’d stood there about to make another convincing argument but she didn’t want to hear it. She couldn’t hear him go on and on about ‘like’, about fitting neatly together, about being compatible, when all she wanted was to hear him tell her that he loved her. The fact that he didn’t showed her he was either incapable of loving her or that he hadn’t thought this whole thing through as thoroughly as he usually did. He’d been married to another woman and had lost her in such tragic circumstances. Perhaps because of that, he’d decided the next time he’d marry using his head rather than his heart.

  Whatever his reasons, the real reasons, it didn’t matter. His reasons for proposing weren’t compatible with her own and that was all there was to it. She would live out the rest of her life, always being in love with him and never being able to have him. It was just another bitter twist to her future and one she had to learn to live with.

  Reaching for the phone, she dialled her friend Eden. Perhaps it would be best for her to take a job working somewhere else, anywhere else, to get away from the outback. She would have to figure out a way to work with him for the next five months but after that she had to leave. Anywhere was fine so long as it was away from Yawonnadeere Creek and the people she loved so much.

  Joshua had tried calling Abbey several times after what had happened on Monday night but she was either very busy or she was simply ignoring him. On Tuesday, after settling the children with Rach, Joshua headed out to the rig, leaving Abbey to deal with any patients on her own. She was more than capable, she knew the routine and Pierre had asked last week for a meeting. Now seemed as good a time as any.

  ‘You’re in a bad mood today,’ Pierre said as he watched Joshua pace around the small office. ‘What’s wrong?’

  ‘Wrong? What makes you think anything’s wrong?’

  ‘I know you, mate. It’s very rare that you’re out of sorts like this.’

  ‘Bad mood. Out of sorts. You really know how to make a guy feel good.’

  ‘Who’s been making you feel otherwise?’ Pierre asked, and when Joshua didn’t respond, he ventured, ‘It’s not that lovely Abbey, is it?’

  Joshua stopped pacing and spread his arms wide. ‘She turned me down.’

  ‘Did yo
u offer her a permanent job? Because if you did, that’s a smart move. She belongs out here.’

  ‘How can you tell whether or not a person belongs?’ he growled, not wanting to talk about Abbey but at the same time wanting to talk about nothing else.

  Pierre sat back in his chair and pondered for a moment. ‘There are several reasons why people come to the outback. Most come for a job, which is the case for the majority of people living in and around Yawonnadeere Creek.’

  ‘I came here for a job and I stayed.’

  ‘You stayed because you were lost,’ Pierre pointed out calmly. ‘Being isolated can either destroy a person or it can enhance them, and the only way you know which way you’re going to go is by facing your fears. Believe me, I speak from experience. Years ago, something…unsavoury happened to me and I hid myself away in Coober Pedy, of all places. I took to the bottle, the missus almost left me—I was a mess.’

  ‘Really?’ Joshua was surprised. He’d known Pierre had a past but he’d never asked.

  ‘Too right, mate.’

  ‘What happened?’

  ‘I faced my problems, head on. Stopped drinking, turned my life around and look where I am today. I’m a changed man. My wife’s still with me and my kids are growing up proud of their dad instead of being embarrassed by him. That’s worth everything, in my book.’

  ‘I love my job here. My kids are happy and my world seemed just fine before Abbey came.’

  ‘You were broken, mate. You had been through such a tragedy, losing your wife. But then in waltzes that gorgeous Abbey, bringing a tube of superglue with her.’ Pierre laughed at his own joke. ‘She’s sorted you out good and proper. Don’t be letting that one go, mate.’

  ‘I’ve had to.’ There was pain and hurt in Joshua’s tone and he wondered how long it was going to take to recover from losing Abbey. He couldn’t hide it, not from his friend.

  ‘What? Why? You fool.’