High Risk

by Vivian Arend

  Marcus brushed her cheek with his fingers. “I’m going to gather gear with Alisha and Devon. We’ll be heading out in less than ten. Take a rest. You did great.”

  She smiled and nodded, but there was something not quite right with her legs as she returned to her place against the wall. The torn-up sections of her palms burned, and her fingertips were cold, so she sat and tucked her hands under her arms.

  . . . wouldn’t be a bad place to die.

  Rob’s words echoed in her head. Becki’s heart gave a giant thump, and she jerked upright, searching the scene frantically. Anders and Xavier were barely visible now, hidden by the trees. The only thing visible in that direction looked like a body lying flat out on its back.

  . . . the mountains wouldn’t be a bad place to die.

  Her breathing sped up. Blood rushed to her head. Becki pressed against the rock and fought to stay alert, but a rush of blackness swept over her and everything went dark.

  * * *

  She was nearing the edge. The point of no return. Becki clung to her knife blade even as she scrambled frantically to find a way to avoid sliding toward the cliff.

  As suddenly as it started, everything stopped, the heavy weight of Dane’s body at the other end of her rope no longer dragging her.

  She wanted to scream in delight. To cry and laugh and celebrate that she’d survived. Only there was no way to know exactly why they were no longer moving. If Dane was tangled on an unsteady rock, their reprieve could be short-lived.

  She scrambled to set a real anchor, using her hammer to pound in a long screw. She set a quick emergency rope before taking the time to make a bombproof one. Only then did she stop to breathe and rejoice a tiny bit.

  “Dane,” she shouted. “Can you hear me? We’re going to be okay. We made it. I’m coming to get you.”

  A quick sip of water, a bite of an energy bar to get some strength into her shaking limbs. She sucked back a power gel, set a rappelling rope, and willingly went over the edge that had nearly killed her.

  She was strong. It had been the most frightening experience yet in her climbing career, but they’d avoided fate. They were going to make it.

  The clouds were still there. The wind, the moisture. A few drops of rain hit, and the idea of a downpour made her happy. It would make things miserably cold, but the cloud patterns would change.

  They were going to make it.

  Over her right shoulder she spotted him. “Dane, I’m coming.”

  He didn’t move, his body a long line collapsed on the brink of the ledge. The platform was wide enough to be safe, and he was roped to her safety rope, so she wasn’t worried about him rolling away before she reached him. Becki down-climbed cautiously, her fingers and arms protesting. She didn’t give a damn how much she hurt. They were both alive.

  She could put up with a few aches and pains.

  Another base. Another anchor. Becki wasn’t leaving anything to chance. She rearranged ropes to make sure she was attached to the wall, Dane still attached to her, before she even moved to his side.

  She stroked Dane’s hair from his face. “Hey, wake up. Nap later—it’s your turn to carry me.”

  His eyes fluttered open, and he groaned. Pulled himself up on one elbow. “Crap, I thought I was dead.”

  “Rock fall.” She wouldn’t bother to tell him right now what else had nearly happened. That was a story to share over beers in a warm bar once they were completely off the mountain. “How you doing? Any injuries?”

  He shook his head. “I’m fine. Fuck. How did that happen?”

  She helped him up and stabilized him until he was no longer rocking on his feet. “This all happened because you were supposed to go first. I’m sure of it. Hey, where you going?”

  He’d stepped to the edge to peer over. She joined him, a rush of nausea hitting at how close a call they’d had. If the three-foot-wide ledge hadn’t been there, the steep cavern at their feet would have been their grave.

  “It’s so unfair,” Dane whispered, turning back to her, staring at the wall behind her as if he weren’t seeing anything. “People come out here all the time. To the mountains. They drive past in their cars, and they point up and say, ‘Look how beautiful. I’m so glad we came.’”

  Becki caught Dane by the arm, pulling him farther from the cliff edge. He sounded . . . confused. “We do get a better view from here, don’t we? Although their cars seldom fall off cliffs.”

  “It wouldn’t be a bad place to die.” Dane breathed the words slowly, and Becki’s gut tightened.

  “Dane? What’s wrong?”

  He pulled off his helmet and tossed it aside, the streaks of dirt on his cheeks and his tangled hair making him look a little mad. “Nothing. Everything.”

  Shit. He’d gone into shock. “Come on, I’ll make us something warm to drink; then we can—”

  “I’m dying, Becki,” Dane blurted out. “Some weird-ass form of muscular dystrophy. A stupid genetic thing that isn’t any fault of mine, but it’s going to take me away from here. Put me in a car until all I can do is look up and say, ‘Oh, aren’t they beautiful’ from there. Never climb again.”

  Nothing made sense. “You’re dying?”

  “Found out when I met my birth mom. Did some tests.” He shook his head in frustration. “All my muscles will shrivel up. Until I can’t breathe on my own. And it’ll happen so slowly, I’ll know what I’m losing.”

  “Oh God, Dane, I’m sorry.” Becki caught him against her. The time for talking this through was once they were away from the mountain, but now she understood why he’d been acting strangely.

  Dane held her tight, like he was never going to let go. When he finally released her it was to lift his fingers to gently stroke her cheek. “It sucks. Not your fault. You’ve been great.”

  “Let’s go. Get out of these cold wet things. We’ll talk, okay?” Something jerked her waist harness, and she glanced down to discover he’d taken his knife and cut the rope between them. “Dane? Let me untie you. You don’t need to cut it.”

  He shook his head. “I don’t want you rescuing me. I will choose where I die. And it won’t be in some hospital bed after months or years of not really living.”

  Oh my God. A flash of understanding hit too late. Becki reached for him to drag him to safety, but he shoved her back violently. She staggered away, fighting to keep her balance.

  Dane turned and stepped off the cliff.

  Becki screamed.

  The world went dark.

  CHAPTER 36

  Marcus had one rope halfway coiled when he paused. Stood. Glanced around quickly at the team, looking for whatever it was that was sending him warning signals. He turned back to Becki just in time to see her lean hard on the rock behind her, body shaking.

  “Shit. Alisha—take over. Becki’s in trouble.”

  His lead hand snatched the rope from him. “Shock?”

  “Maybe.” He was across to the wall and crouched at Becki’s side in a moment, catching hold of her cold fingers with his. “Becki. Come on, what’s happening?”

  Her eyes were wide but unfocused, as if she were watching a screen he couldn’t see.

  Screw protocol. Marcus dropped to the ground beside her and scooped her into his arms, cradling her from the cold and protecting her from the rock. “Come on, Becki. Come back to me. You’re okay, the rescue is going great. You made it this far. You’re going to make it all the way.”

  She dragged in a shuddering breath and snapped her hands free, arms jerking outward as if grabbing for something.

  “Hush, come on.” Marcus kicked his own ass. He should have been prepared for this possibility. Should have been there to stop her from going it alone. He put his lips next to her ear and spoke softly, rocking her carefully. “You’re the strongest woman I know. Brave, committed. Talented. Damn, I have no idea why you were willing to put up with an ass like me, but I’m so glad you did. Now you need to come back to me, sweet Becki. You need to give me hell a few more times.”<
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  Her hands moved until her fingers clutched the fabric of his jacket. She gasped, then buried her face against his chest. “Oh God, no . . .”

  The utter misery in her cry tore him apart.

  A hand touched his shoulder, Xavier leaning in close. “Boss, you need help?”

  As if the unfamiliar voice were a trigger, Becki’s head snapped up, her green eyes sparkling bright with the tears that filled them. “Marcus—oh God, Marcus, I know. I know it all.”

  “What do you know, sweet Becki?” And more important, was she aware of what was going on, or did she need medical care herself? “Are you here with me again? Tell me where we are.”

  She sucked in a huge breath of air, shakily letting it escape as a tear trickled down her cheek. “We’re in the Needles. We rescued Colin and Rob. We need to get them out for medical attention. I know where we are.”

  Marcus glanced at Xavier. “Gear up. We’ll be okay.”

  “Three minutes to exit, if you can be ready,” Xavier warned.

  Becki responded before Marcus could. “I’m good. Sorry for making trouble. We’ll be ready.”

  “Hell, you’re not trouble,” Xavier insisted. “FYI, clouds are clearing a little.”

  The paramedic left them, and Marcus lifted her chin so he could stare into her eyes. “What happened?”

  “I think the rescue prompted it. The final missing part.” She sighed and shook her head. “But we have two minutes and a rescue to finish. I’ll tell you the rest at home.”

  Goddamn. “Becki . . .”

  “Give one hundred percent, Marcus. We’re not done.” She ran her hands up his arms until she could wrap around his shoulders and squeeze him with her strong grip. “It looks as if you were having to babysit me.”

  “I’ll do it again in a minute.” He was going to go crazy on the hike out, not knowing the details, but she was right. They weren’t out of the mountains. Still, there was something he had to tell her before they went anywhere. Before she told him anything, because whatever she said, he’d made a decision.

  The past few hours had only strengthened his resolve. It wasn’t a case anymore of wanting the best for her. That was a priority, but it wasn’t the only thing. No matter what it took, he wasn’t going to let her leave him behind.

  He pulled them upright, keeping her in his arms for a moment, his fingers skimming over her cheek until his palm cradled the back of her head. He pressed their lips together and kissed her. Gentle in pressure, but as possessively as he knew how. A brand of ownership—only in reverse.

  A declaration that he was totally hers.

  There was a question in her eyes as he pulled away, and he paused to rub his thumb lightly over her bottom lip. “I’ve got your back,” he promised.

  Becki tilted her head to the side, wonder still on her face. “One minute to get ready,” she warned.

  “We’re ready.” For anything. Convincing her of that was now his number one objective. No matter what her memories had brought, they were going to go forward together.

  * * *

  The trip out passed in a blur. The trail, the headwall. Marcus never more than a pace away from her, his presence comforting, reassuring.

  There wasn’t as much to distract her on the outward journey. Colin walked in front with Devon, or Alisha, listening to school stories from them. Xavier and Anders carried the stretcher, the entire team moving smoothly on the steeper sections to ease the awkward object forward.

  Even at the headwall there were no hesitations. Alisha and Devon swarmed up the rock and had the stretcher rising into the shrouded air in what seemed to be moments.

  Marcus hugged her from behind as they waited their turn. His breath warm by her ear, his hand curled possessively around her hip as he cradled her between his thighs. He hadn’t poked to be told what she’d seen, and she appreciated that. It was too big to spit out in a moment, too huge to simply blurt out in one sentence.

  Only the truth changed everything. Becki twisted her head to touch her lips to his cheek, needing to at least let him know that whatever was between them hadn’t changed.

  What she was going to do next was still up in the air.

  A shiver struck as the first fixed rope for their ascent smacked the ground. “I’m so not ready for this,” she confessed.

  Marcus patted her butt and pushed her forward. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. You can’t expect to leave the past behind that fast.”

  Anders held her rope until she clutched it tight, knotting herself in, staring straight ahead and focusing until Marcus moved behind her.

  If she closed her eyes for most of the time they were in the air, she figured Marcus wasn’t going to blame her.

  The final bit of trail vanished under their feet, the chopper dead ahead, Erin hanging out the door to help load the stretcher before giving Devon a fist bump and disappearing back into the cockpit.

  Marcus boosted her into the chopper and took the seat next to her, grabbing hold of her fingers as soon as they were both buckled in.

  She rested her temple on his shoulder and didn’t bother to turn on the headset. She was officially done for the day—someone else could make the decisions from here on.

  Only the lift and travel time gave opportunity for the images of Dane to repeat. She struggled against them, choosing instead to go back to the earlier days; to try to remember the moments that she’d thought were out of character for him.

  Exhaustion took its toll, and even the memories faded, her eyelids heavy, sleep pulling her under.

  CHAPTER 37

  A brush over her cheek woke her

  Everything had gone quiet. Shockingly quiet, with no helicopter or voices. Something soft cradled her head, and she glanced around to discover the familiar walls of Marcus’s bedroom. He sat beside her, reaching out to stroke her hair behind her ear and down over her shoulder. “Sleeping Beauty wakes.”

  Curtains closed, no clue of the time of day. “Did I pass out?”

  He shook his head. “Fell asleep. Like a rock. There was no need to wake you, and sleep was the best possible thing.”

  She rolled slightly and stretched, arms overhead, back arching. Aches and pains in muscles screamed that she’d gone from full out to full stop way too fast. “I won’t even be embarrassed. Much. How are Colin and Rob?”

  “Rob’s in a cast and Colin spent the night at Devon’s place. I think they’re getting along well.”

  “It’s morning? Wow.” Although after crashing, sleeping around the clock wasn’t unexpected. She stared up at him and wondered what to say. “Your truck’s at the cabin.”

  He smiled. “Anders and a friend are picking it up for me.” Marcus shifted to his feet and offered his hand to her. “Grab a shower. Get dressed. I’ll make you some food, and then we can talk.”

  The hot water washed away the rest of the cobwebs but didn’t help her get any further in making a decision. Becki tiptoed into the living room and spotted him moving easily in the kitchen. Strong body, arms flexing as he worked, and something heated inside.

  She didn’t want to give him up. That was all she knew.

  Slipping beside him, she ducked under his arm and planted herself against his body, wrapped her arms around his waist, and squeezed, her ear resting on his chest.

  The steady pulse of his heart soothed her.

  “You should eat,” Marcus scolded, but he cuddled her in spite of his protests.

  “I need to tell you what happened more than I need food.”

  She was recovered enough that if he’d argued, she would have stomped on his toes before dragging him to the living room.

  “I want to know,” Marcus confessed. He turned off the burner, then scooped her up as if she were a feather, coming to a stop by the couch.

  When he sat and refused to let her out of his lap, Becki smiled. “I can sit by myself.”

  “I need to hold you.”

  Her heart skipped a beat. The emphasis had totally been on need in that phrase.
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  She caught his face in her hands. “You were right. I didn’t do anything to cause the accident. We could have made it off the mountain in one piece, but Dane chose—”

  She drew in a long breath through her nose and fought for control.

  He waited for her to continue, his own tiredness and confusion showing in his expression, his concern for her in his touch as he stroked her arm.

  “Dane chose to die. When I call the authorities, we’ll ask them to check for preexisting medical conditions. Contact his birth mom.”

  “Who cut the rope?” Marcus asked.

  “Dane.” Becki shook her head. “It doesn’t make sense to me. I don’t understand why someone would choose to die before he had to.”

  “Are you saying he committed suicide?”

  She nodded as she fought back the tears she’d refused to cry earlier on the trail. “He was so young. And smart. I just don’t understand.”

  Silence answered. Marcus shifted position so they were still holding each other, but there was enough distance that she could look him squarely in the face. He examined her cautiously, as if checking to ensure she could handle more.

  She fell a little more in love.

  He cleared his throat and spoke quietly. “When I got hurt—the accident. It should never have happened.”

  “You were out of the country?” He’d never really told her what he did for work back then.

  He paused, only for a moment, then let her have it all. “I worked for whoever hired me. Did a couple of military jobs, but those were few and far between. They like their own people in position, but the word got out in some circles that I could climb anything. So I got calls. Ones on the quiet side. Paramilitary, usually.”

  This wasn’t what she’d expected. “You were military?”

  “No. I was—well, anything they needed, except I never carried a gun. I did actual rescues. I snuck into bedrooms. Sometimes they needed recovery of some object, sometimes a door opened and access gained to a restricted part of a building. I’d climb whatever they pointed me at.”