No Way Up

by Mary Connealy

She struggled to find that well in herself.

  They ate for a while and shared Heath’s canteen. She felt her spirits revive for the rest of the descent.

  He slung his pack over his shoulder as if to go, but she wasn’t quite ready yet. She needed just a few more minutes. Without thinking it through, she reached out and took his bleeding hand. “How badly does it hurt?”

  His muscles tensed, and she wondered if he’d pull away.

  “I’ve been scraped by a rock before. Pay it no mind.”

  Studying his hand, she said, “I’d bandage it, but you need your fingers free.”

  His rugged, scratched-up hand tightened on hers, and she was drawn to his gaze. “I’m sorry I got you into such a tight spot, Sadie. I surely am. I knew I shouldn’t let you come on this climb, but I . . .” He looked down at their joined hands.

  “You what?”

  “I wanted you along.” His shining blue eyes locked on hers. “I wanted to spend time with you. And I was so sure I’d show everyone, just crawl right up the side of this mesa with no problem. And there I’d be, on top.” He pointed upward. “And you’d be so impressed you might not mind . . . if I kissed you.”

  Sadie was surprised by his words. Yes, she’d been drawn to him, but she’d never been sure how he felt.

  Heath’s head dipped, and his lips met hers. A kiss. Her first kiss. It was perfect.

  Lips slanted across her mouth. He raised the hands they’d joined until he laid hers on his shoulder. Then he let go and slid one arm around her waist. So gently, so mindful of where they were. But just as surely lost in the kiss as she was.

  Sadie pressed on his shoulders to keep the kiss from getting any deeper. He pulled back.

  A cool breeze buffeted them, there where they perched like eagles high above the ground. The sun had strength even this late in the year. The look in his eyes took her away so that neither wind nor sun caught her attention.

  “I’ve liked spending time with you, Sadie. And your family has been good to me. You all have helped me not be so lonely for my brothers. And you’ve all helped me figure out what I want to do with my life.”

  “Do you really know?” Sadie perked up. They needed to rest, but her energy was coming from Heath and how interesting he was. She went on, “I thought I knew what I wanted to do, but Pa opposed it and now I’m here, with no idea what comes next.”

  Heath held her hands in his. “I don’t know what I think about your pa running your life the way he is. I know a man wants to protect a woman, and a pa especially wants his daughter to be safe and under his roof until he can turn her over to a husband.”

  “But, Heath, I—”

  “Shh.” Heath cut her off gently. “I didn’t mean that’s right exactly. I just mean I understand it. You probably understand it too, even if you don’t agree with it.”

  He had a point. Begrudgingly, Sadie admitted, “I do understand. Pa has always cared for us with all his heart and all his strength.” Shaking her head as if to knock her confusion away, she asked, “You said you know what to do with your life and I interrupted you with my own worries. What do you want to do?”

  Heath grinned and seemed to look through her, into the past. “I have three big brothers who are just as bossy as yours, back in a little town called Rawhide, in Colorado.”

  “It isn’t possible to have brothers as bossy as mine.”

  “Listening to Justin and Cole order you and me around has made me realize how much fun it is to needle them.” A chuckle halted his story, then he continued, “I like ignoring their wishes and daring them to fire me. I really like it that I know ranching and I’m not afraid of hard work. I can always find a job.”

  “That’s what John said when I fired you. You’d be able to find another job with no trouble.”

  With a confident nod, Heath said, “The fun of tormenting your brothers made me see that I left my family because they never let me run my own life. They were so busy taking care of me that they never let me take charge of my ranch, run my own spread. They love me, but they don’t see me as an adult who can be trusted.”

  “Oh, Heath, that’s just like what I have here. A family who loves me until I can barely make a move without one of them giving me advice.”

  “And you love them back.”

  “I do. I love them all, my brothers, my parents, and I think of John as an uncle. Which makes wanting to strangle them very confusing.”

  “I miss that Kincaid clan so much.” A smile quirked Heath’s lips, and he leaned forward and stole a quick kiss. Except he didn’t steal it because she handed it right over. “I’ve been wandering for a couple of years and missing them, but I’ve never been able to see how I can go back. Until I got to know your family and learned to deal with your brothers. I think I can finally do it. I think I can grab my own ranch by the horns, and even more, handle my brothers without being an ungrateful little pest.”

  “I could possibly handle my brothers, but what about Pa? How do I get him to let me do the job I love? A job I think God called me to do?” Then, as quiet as a breath, Sadie asked him, “Are you going home, then? Back to Rawhide?”

  “Maybe not right away.” Heath lifted his uninjured hand and rested it against her cheek, then gave his head a tiny shake. “I think we’d better use some sense and climb on down now, Sadie darlin’, before I do something foolish like spend the whole day on this ledge kissing you.”

  She smiled, and he smiled back with such tenderness that her hands trembled—trembling that had nothing to do with her being tired. Sadie hoped she had the strength left to use her hands and feet, not to mention her mind.

  “Are you ready to scamper on down the rest of the way?”

  That surprised a laugh out of her, and she shook her head. “Scamper, that’s right. We’ll just hop on down there.”

  “I’m eager to get to the part where if we fall, we’ve got a decent chance of surviving.”

  Somehow the last part of the descent was easier than she’d expected. Whether Sadie was getting better at it, or that kiss had distracted her from all worries, aches, and pains, she didn’t know.

  She reached the ground and just kept sinking until she was sitting, her back propped up against the mesa. She’d have gone ahead and fallen over backward if the rock hadn’t held her up.

  Heath was only moments behind her, landing light-footed right beside her. He focused so completely on untying the rope from his waist that she knew he was deliberately not making eye contact.

  Was he displeased with her? Did he think her indecent to kiss him like she did? Was he eager to get back to the ranch before she got any wild ideas that he might have feelings for her?

  Then, with a quirk of irritation, she wondered why in heaven’s name wouldn’t she have such ideas after he’d kissed the daylights out of her?

  He finished with his own rope, tightened by the hours of tugging, and crouched to work on hers. She should have done it herself, but she’d been too befuddled.

  It wasn’t long before he dropped to his knees, and that caught her attention. She looked up and saw he was exhausted. Right up to the limit of his strength. And yet still he was taking care of her. She rested her hands on his where they worked at the knot at her waist.

  That got his attention. “Sit down for a few minutes and rest.”

  After a moment’s hesitation, he turned and collapsed beside her, then dropped his head back against the stone and smiled at the heavens. “We made it.”

  “You were worried we wouldn’t?”

  He rolled his head sideways and smiled at her. “Nope, I wasn’t worried. I was just ready to be on the ground. Climbing is hard work.”

  Dragging in a couple of deep breaths, he sat up and went back to untying the rope around her middle that bound them together. Finally it came loose. He coiled the rope, dropped it over his head, and slid his arm through.

  “I can’t believe it took us all day to climb up and down a hundred yards.” Sadie took a deep breath and noticed the s
etting sun. “But I could never be this worn out unless I’d done a hard day’s work.”

  “It was near midday when we turned back, and coming down was a lot slower than going up. We were on that ledge quite a while, too.” They sat shoulder to shoulder, and he reached across to touch her chin. “Time well spent, boss.”

  He leaned forward again, and only moments after wondering if she had behaved decently, she went right back to kissing him.

  When they broke the kiss, Heath said, “It’s getting dark. I’d better stop this.” Which made him kiss her again.

  Finally he pulled away, his muscles awkward, as if his mind and body were at war. He shoved himself to his feet. “I’ll go scout around the edge. I may come back here at night to see what I can see on the side we didn’t explore.”

  “If Justin never found it in the day, Heath, then you’re not likely to find it in the dark.”

  “Nope. I’ll go around the rest of the base, but not for a few days. I think I’m done in for tonight. But having to search in the dark”—he shook his head wearily—“my chances of finding something none of you have after looking for years in full daylight are mighty slim. I think I’m going to have to find this mystery trail by climbing up the hard way and looking down. There’s got to be an easier way up there, but it’s hidden somehow. With the way the base of the mesa curves in and out, maybe there’s a trail that’s just hard to recognize as such.”

  He rested a bit longer before heaving himself away from the rock he was leaning on. “I’ll scout around and see if the ranch is settled in for the night. I don’t want to head back unless we can go in without being noticed.”

  Heath left her. Sadie didn’t bother to go with him or even stand up. The day had been too hard, and now they had a long walk home ahead of them. She’d save her strength.

  The sun had worked its way west and was within minutes of dipping behind the mountains in the distance. Shadows crept nearer, grew longer.

  She sat in silence as the day gave way to night.

  A boot crunched on the stony ground.

  “I think we can head in now.” Heath spoke out of the darkness. “The cowpokes are all in the bunkhouse for the night. We might be noticed, but if that happens, well, I’ve a mind to tell the men I’m sparking you and we were out for a walk.”

  He reached down, and he must’ve been rested because he had strength to spare to lift her to her feet. “Would that shame you, Sadie? For it to be known that you’re going for walks with one of your cowhands?”

  She’d like it so much it reminded her that he was leaving. All the way back to Rawhide, Colorado. And she was trapped here to keep Justin and Cole from losing the ranch and the mines. So it was foolish to waste time thinking of him, and she’d sure as certain better not let him kiss her again.

  “No, I’d be proud to be seen with you, Heath. We’ll do that if anyone sees us.”

  She wished he’d said he was truly sparking her. Instead of it being an excuse, she suddenly, fiercely wanted it to be true.

  “Let’s head in, then.” Heath took her hand. Hers were scraped raw and tender, as were his, but he held her with such gentle strength that, right then, at that moment, exhausted and her mind blurred by his kisses, even knowing he was leaving . . . she’d have followed this man anywhere.

  13

  Heath walked her back and winced when he saw Alonzo Deval standing outside and smoking one of his skinny black cigarettes. The man had noticed them for a fact.

  Even from this distance, in the dusk, Heath saw Alonzo draw long and hard on his smoke until the end was as red as the depths of Hades. Then, with a sudden motion, Alonzo tossed it to the ground, stomped it out, spun on his heel, and strode into his house. As ramrod for the CR, he got a house as John did, though Alonzo’s was just a bit smaller.

  All the cowpokes knew Alonzo spent too much time watching Sadie. Then again, most of them did, Heath included, try as he might to control himself. So he’d never thought much about how Alonzo felt. He figured he knew.

  A woman was rare out here, and one as pretty as Sadie Boden was more precious than gold.

  But Alonzo looked furious. As if he had some claim on her, or his notions about her were very serious. How far would he go to turn her attention from Heath?

  Heath was glad the man had his own house; he wouldn’t want to fall asleep with Alonzo in the same room.

  “Let’s talk to Justin and Cole.” Sadie held on to his hand when he’d have left her at the back door. He debated mentioning Alonzo to her but decided to leave it for another time—or never, if possible. He hoped Alonzo just gave up, as any thinking cowhand ought to. As he himself ought to do.

  “I’m sure they’ll want to laugh at me for failing.” Heath couldn’t help looking forward to that. And their reaction when he told them that as soon as his spikes were ready, he was going up the mesa again.

  He did wish he could figure a way to discourage Sadie from going, yet he didn’t hold out much hope.

  He went on inside with her. Justin and Cole were sitting at the kitchen table, eating supper. Heath hadn’t quite realized it was mealtime. It seemed much later. But considering most of these folks had expected him home for the noon meal, it wasn’t too late after all.

  Both of them surged to their feet.

  “Did you make it?” Justin growled, and Heath knew the man’s tone was one of pure envy.

  “Nope,” he replied.

  While a smile twitched his lips, Justin looked disappointed at the same time. The man really wanted to get to the top of the mesa, and to the bottom of this business. But the plain truth was that he wanted to get there himself. And unreasonable as it was, he wanted to get there first.

  Cole headed for the cookstove. “Rosita’s gone to see her sister.”

  Heath had been here long enough to know this was their usual practice. Rosita would return after Sunday services.

  As Cole began dishing up food, Heath saw Sadie gather her strength to help out. He caught her by the arm and guided her to a chair instead.

  “We’re about done in.” Heath sank into a chair beside Sadie. “That old hill is a stubborn climb. I’ll try again after I get the spikes I ordered from the blacksmith.”

  Heath held up his hands, scraped and bleeding, and under the dirt he saw several fingernails were torn beneath the quick. Which gave him the idea he oughta clean up before he ate. He got up and went to the washbasin.

  “Me too.” Sadie looked at her hands and followed him to wash up. He finished and toweled his hands, then handed the cloth to Sadie.

  “That’ll give me time to heal, I hope.” He was a weary man and that was that.

  “Me too.” Sadie took the towel.

  Yep, it sounded like she was coming along.

  Now that they were both clean, or at least cleaner, their battered hands looked worse than ever. Heath moved back to the table, focused on Justin. He wondered if the boss was going to punch him in the face for letting his little sister get so beat up.

  Justin turned to Cole, and Heath saw agreement between them. Probably agreement either to punch or fire him, maybe both. It was kind of nice to see the two half-wits agree on something for once.

  Heath was really starting to love these men, and yet they also made him purely homesick.

  Cole brought two plates of beef stew over and set one gently in front of Sadie, then slapped the other one down hard in front of Heath. Rosita, who got two days away from her work every week, tended to cook a huge pot of soup or stew or something so they could eat without much trouble until she returned.

  He had to talk fast before they could issue a decree, which would set Sadie off again on a nagging spree to get what she wanted.

  “How sure are you that that avalanche was an accident?” That was a question bound to distract a man from most anything.

  Cole plopped down at the head of the table. “What are you talking about?”

  “You saw something out there?” Justin leaned forward, his fists clenched.


  “You never mentioned that, Heath.” Sadie quit eating to glare at him.

  All three of them were paying attention now, firing, fist throwing, and finger pain forgotten.

  “I reached a level where I could see straight across from where I was clinging to the side of that mesa, and I saw the top of the slope where the rockslide came down on your pa. Have either of you gone up to check around, make sure that slide was an accident?”

  Justin sat at one end of the table, Cole at the opposite end. The table was pushed against the wall, so Heath and Sadie sat side by side. Which boiled down to him being surrounded.

  “You think that slide might’ve been deliberate?” Cole rose slowly from the table. He was leaning past Sadie, so Heath figured the man felt the need to get closer so as not to miss a word—or maybe he just couldn’t stay seated.

  Heath went on, “We’ve all talked about what a piece of poor luck it was that a rockslide on that narrow stretch came down at the very worst possible minute, haven’t we?”

  “It surely was unlucky,” Justin said quietly.

  “Or it was planned,” Heath said. “I have no idea if it was; I just wondered is all. I aim to go up to the top of that canyon first chance I get and have a look around. Setting off a slide like that would leave some sign.”

  Justin, who hadn’t found time to climb the mesa because of all his work, said, “I’m coming with you. We head out as early tomorrow as you did today, Kincaid. That pile of rocks we can get to the top of without a problem—there’s a decent trail. I’ll go with you and say we’re getting those cattle out. I’ll tell John, but I’m not risking anyone else.”

  “Except me,” Heath said, determined.

  “I don’t mind risking you.”

  Heath let a chuckle escape. Being insulted by Justin reminded him so much of Seth, he couldn’t stand how much he liked it.

  “You’re a strange one, Kincaid.” Justin acted annoyed that he hadn’t pinched Heath’s delicate feelings.

  “I reckon.”

  “So I tell John I’m going for the cattle with only you to help. We can get them, too. The avalanche didn’t choke the pass all the way off, so we can drive cattle through it still. It won’t be raising any suspicions of what we’re up to.”