Lost In You
Page 1
Table of Contents
Legal Page
Title Page
Book Description
Trademarks Acknowledgement
Prologue
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Epilogue
New Excerpt
About the Author
Publisher Page
Lost in You
ISBN # 978-1-78651-565-0
©Copyright Remmy Duchene 2017
Cover Art by Posh Gosh ©Copyright March 2017
Edited by Shannon Combs
Pride Publishing
This is a work of fiction. All characters, places and events are from the author’s imagination and should not be confused with fact. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, events or places is purely coincidental.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any material form, whether by printing, photocopying, scanning or otherwise without the written permission of the publisher, Pride Publishing.
Applications should be addressed in the first instance, in writing, to Pride Publishing. Unauthorised or restricted acts in relation to this publication may result in civil proceedings and/or criminal prosecution.
The author and illustrator have asserted their respective rights under the Copyright Designs and Patents Acts 1988 (as amended) to be identified as the author of this book and illustrator of the artwork.
Published in 2017 by Pride Publishing, Newland House, The Point, Weaver Road, Lincoln, LN6 3QN
Pride Publishing is a subsidiary of Totally Entwined Group Limited.
IntoXication
LOST IN YOU
Remmy Duchene
Book three in the IntoXication series
Lust is better together.
Although Jackson Stark wanted to get into dancing full time, he promised his father and Uncle Darius Stark that he would go to university first. After fast-tracking through his program while auditioning for small roles, he gets a job working at Darius’ video game company as a game designer. When Jackson gets the chance to be the face of a men’s line, he sees it as something else to add to his resume. Then he meets his boss, Ko, and everything he’s heard about love turns out to be true—it’s a giant pain in the ass.
Ko Takao never saw himself as a business mogul. After his father’s death, Ko inherits Hansamu, a clothing company that caters to the man who loves looking dashing. From handmade suits to loungewear, they are at the top of their game and Ko is looking to keep it that way by finding the perfect face to front the label. When Thaddeus suggests Jackson Stark, Ko can’t imagine it—then he lays eyes on the young stud again and all his reservations, along with his self-control, go right out of the window.
Trademarks Acknowledgement
The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of the following wordmarks mentioned in this work of fiction:
BMW: Bayerische Motoren Werke Aktiengesellschaft Corporation Lancome: Lancome Parfums et Beaute & Cie L’Oreal GQ: Advance Magazine Publishers Inc.
Facebook: Facebook, Inc.
Instagram: Instagram, LLC
Nike: Nike, Inc.
iPad: Apple, Inc
Facetime: Apple, Inc
Boeing: The Boeing Company Corporation Suzuki: Suzuki Technology
Band-Aid: Johnson & Johnson Corporation Kleenex: Kimberly-Clark Corporation Kiss Me, Kill Me: Casper Andreas, David Michael Barrett A Christmas Carol: Charles Dickens
Prologue
It’d been so long since the Takao’s moved away from Japan in order for the business to work. Though they did not reside in the country, Ko Takao’s father, Nobu Takao, insisted on them keeping a great deal of their traditions, which included the death ceremony. So, after his death, Ko had performed the usual ceremonies he was obligated to under his culture. Ko had carried out the Matsugo-no-mizu himself by using clean cotton swabs, dipped in water to wipe his father’s lips. His father had told him when it was time. Though the nurses had stood on the other side of the bed and had tried reassuring his father to simply rest, Nobu had been adamant. Death had been near and after a while Ko had sensed it, too.
Right after his father’s passing, Ko had forbidden anyone to touch the body. He had covered the shrine Nobu had mounted in an extra room of the house with white paper. On the bedside table beside his father, Ko had removed the lamp and replaced it with incense, a candle some lotus flowers—his father’s favorite—and a sharp knife.
Over the front door, he had hung a white Japanese lantern. It was a sign that someone had passed inside the house and back in the day had been mostly for family and friends who’d walked by. Since Ko’s mother had died when he had been a mere eight years old and his father’s family were all gone, there really hadn’t been anyone to tell. But it was tradition.
For twenty-four hours, Ko had kneeled by his father’s bed like a dutiful son. He’d clasped his hands in his lap and focused on his father’s face. Nobu Takao had been a man of many talents but subtlety wasn’t one of them. He had spoken his mind and had demanded what was right. Sometimes, Ko had thought his father hadn’t loved him. But as he’d gotten older, he had realized his dad hadn’t known any better.
At the end of the day, he had offered incense, had said a small prayer and had risen to carry on with the rest of the ceremonies. By then, someone had called Thaddeus, who had shown up with flowers. When Thaddeus had hugged him, Ko’s legs had given out under him, for it had been a while since he’d eaten. Without a word, Thaddeus had walked him into the kitchen, sat him in a chair and offered him a warm mug. Ko had slowly sipped, allowing the sweet flavor of peppermint to permeate his body.
Thaddeus hadn’t said how sorry he had been for Ko’s loss—Thaddeus was the closest thing he had to a brother and Ko knew Thaddeus understood that Ko never wanted to hear those words. They had sat together in silence until Thaddeus had made him a grilled cheese sandwich and a glass of lemonade.
The days had drifted by slowly between Nobu Takao’s passing and the actual cremation. With that final step, Ko had left for Japan. His father’s final wish had been to be taken home. Though Thaddeus had wanted to go with him, Ko had had to decline. It had been one of those times where he had to do something on his own.
After scattering his father’s ashes around his mother’s grave, Ko returned to his hotel room and fell to his back on the bed. So many emotions surged through him all at once and he wasn’t sure what to do with himself. Confusion pulsed in his head, his body ached with exhaustion and a sobering sense of loss and grief descended on him like a sudden rainstorm. Tears spilled down the corners of his eyes and lodged in his ears but he just couldn’t stop sobbing. After having his father for so long, Ko was now truly alone in the world and it hurt far more than anything else ever had or probably ever would.
In his daze, he rummaged through his pocket for his cell and called Thaddeus—roaming charges be damned.
“Hello?” Thaddeus’ sleep-filled voice came over the line.
“Hey,” Ko said, his voice breaking. “I’m sorry to call so late but I…”
“It’s okay, man. Really. I’m glad you called. How are you?”
“I don’t know.” Ko blinked, trying to clear the tears from his eyes. “I feel as if the world is ending.”
“That’s to be expected,” Thaddeus said. “I really wish you’d let me come. I understand why you refused, but still. I really wanted to be there for you.”
“Jealous? Why?”
“He has you in all the ways that matter,” Ko admitted. “I’ve never thought of sleeping with you—that’s not what this is about. But you’re kind and strong and everything I’m not. You’re everything I’ve wanted.”
“Come on, Ko. That’s not you talking.”
Ko allowed his mind to ponder Thaddeus’ words for a silent breath. In the end, he merely shrugged and nodded. “It is.” He paused as he glanced down at his trembling hands. “Why hold back now, right? You’re just going to die, anyway.”
“Ko—”
“For the first time in a long time I’m very lucid,” Ko continued, as if Thaddeus had said nothing. “All I’m saying is the way you are with him is what I could use in my life right now. Look at all the changes—Dad’s gone. I’m here by myself, expected to do what will carry his company through to the next— Damn. I almost said to the next generation.”
“As in your children?”
Ko shook his head. “Forget I said that. I just would like somewhere to run to, you know?”
“I get it now. Don’t worry. Your time will come.”
Ko smiled and sat up. Large tears rolled down his face and plopped onto his thighs. “I don’t think so, Thaddeus,” he said softly. “Some people are cut out for love and others aren’t. Some of us were destined to wander this planet alone, chasing after love, always glimpsing it in the distance but never catching up. And that’s okay.”
“You don’t really mean that. Let me come to you.”
“No. You have other things to consider now, Thaddeus. I’ll be back soon and you can yell at me all you want.”
“Is that Ko?” Ravinder’s sleepy voice came from the background. “Want me to pack a bag for you?”
“No!” Ko said. “He can’t be advocating this! Listen, I’m just going to get a glass of wine or something, then sleep. They say things always look better in the morning, right?”
Thaddeus chuckled. “Right. But if I don’t hear from you tomorrow I’m getting on a plane, got it?”
“Thad—”
“Yes or no, Ko. It’s not up for debate.”
Ko sighed. “Got it.”
After hanging up with Thaddeus, Ko wandered into the bathroom to wash his face and hands. Once he had some sense of pulling himself together, he ordered room service then flopped onto his bed to go through all the paperwork the lawyer had given him after his father’s passing. Apparently, his dad hadn’t wanted the reading of the will to wait too long. The last thing Ko wanted to deal with was the division of his father’s worldly goods. He’d give it all back if he could have his dad now. But, unfortunately, that wasn’t how things worked. After so many years of having his father by his side, Ko now had to think about walking the rest of his days alone. It was a daunting concept. For even though Ko and his father hadn’t always agreed, Ko had gotten to learn his father’s way of saying ‘I love you’ and most times it had seemed cold and distant, but it had been something.
With his father’s death, it was as if a part of Ko was gone, too. But Ko knew he had to do what the Japanese often say. Kishi kaisei—wake from death and return to life.
Chapter One
Kishi kaisei.
How in the hell am I supposed to do that—huh, Pa?
“Seriously, Ko. You are not paying attention.”
Ko Takao inhaled deeply and tore his eyes from the women in bright-colored saris, walking together along the narrow lane. He’d been in India for three weeks but he still wanted to cry each time he thought back to burying his father. After Nobu’s death over a month before, he’d been putting off the trip and hiding in his house while he’d made arrangements for his father’s burial. But soon, Thaddeus Masterson and his husband, Ravinder, had flown into Bathsheba and all but kidnapped him.
He cleared his throat. He could tell Thaddeus that he was in fact listening, but knowing his friend, Thaddeus would only follow it up with ‘then what did I just say?’
That was a trap Ko knew very well.
“Sorry,” Ko said instead. “I didn’t mean to drift off like that. What were you saying?”
“You okay?” Ravinder asked.
Ko shook his head. “I don’t know.” He exhaled long and hard while rubbing his palms along his thighs. “There are so many things running through my head.”
“Like what?” Ravinder asked.
“The design for your suits for one.”
“If it’s too much, Ko, you don’t have—” Thaddeus began.
“Oh, knock it off, would you?” Ko snapped. “I’m designing the suits now. Shut up about it…” Ko glanced out of the window quickly before looking at Ravinder and Thaddeus. “Sorry. I’ve just been feeling inadequate lately.”
“How so?” Thaddeus was the first to speak.
“I’m not ready for this. Running Hansamu wasn’t my dream.”
“What was your dream?” Thaddeus asked.
For a moment, Ko thought about it. But he could come up with no clear answer so he merely shrugged and turned his gaze to the procession of beautifully clad women. After another round of food, the three exited the small restaurant on the roadside and wandered back to the house. As much as he’d like to run all the way there and toss himself into the air-conditioned interior, the humidity weighed Ko down. That, coupled with the food they’d just devoured, was like swimming upstream through molasses.
Heat waves rose from the asphalt, making the humid air around them even more stifling. Ko hated the heat—hated the way it made his head go dizzy when he stepped outside. Then to make things worse, within seconds, his sweat had his shirt clinging to his back. He disliked the smell of the heat—fire mixed with other scents he couldn’t quite place. But as he glanced around, Ko could honestly say the beauty of India and its people outweighed the smell and humidity.
Finally back home, he excused himself and immediately took a shower. He then wandered the air-conditioned house shirtless. Though it frustrated him to be wearing any clothing at all, Ko had to respect the fact it wasn’t his place. Some iota of modesty was required.
While Thaddeus went on a business call, he made himself useful in the kitchen by spreading his new designs for Hansamu on the island and studying them. Ko had no clue what he was looking for but something was off. Absentmindedly, he tapped his pencil against the side of his head. The label’s sales were through the roof and that was how his father had always kept it. The pressure now was to keep the company going at the size his father had always wanted. Hansamu was to remain small but giant in reputation and quality. Whenever his father had seen clothing lines filing for bankruptcy, he’d always shaken his head and muttered, ‘Baka wa shinanakya naoranai.’
Ko smiled at the memory. “You can’t fix stupid, indeed.”
Staring at the face of the model currently leading the charge for the company, Ko sighed. The same disappointment that had clouded his judgment after his father had announced who the model was filled him once more. The model was handsome with a nice body but he looked nothing like an everyday man. He wasn’t the kind of man Hansamu represented. No, the first thing Ko needed to do was find a new face. He turned the picture over so his mind could work, then went back to adding little things to his sketches. For a while, he managed to forget the enormity of the responsibilities now sitting on his shoulders. In the silence of the house, Ko merely went back to what he’d loved doing—creating.
Thaddeus had asked him what his dreams were, and sadly Ko couldn’t remember. So much of who he was and what he did was tied up in a company his father had started. He’d lost himself within the ranks and the nightly meetings. With his thoughts once again jumbled, Ko gave up on work and went looking for Thaddeus. Though his best friend was still on the phone, Ko took a seat on the large sofa and impatiently waited for Thaddeus to finish.
“Okay, you have my attention,” Thaddeus said, a smile grazing his thick lips. “What’s the m
atter?”
“I feel restless, unworthy—”
“Whoa! This again? Unworthy? Of what?”
“My father’s legacy.”
“Ko—”
“I mean,” Ko continued as if Thaddeus hadn’t said a word. “He leaves me with this empire and I’m supposed to carry it on and make sure it stays in good standing. Damn. It’s a lot.”
“I get it.” Thaddeus walked around the desk to sit beside him. “And you know Ravinder and I are here if you need a hand. Between the two of us, I’m sure we could give you more help than your father would know what to do with.”
Ko sighed and dragged a hand over his face. “Yeah. Both of you have your life to deal with right now. Shouldn’t you be looking into kids?”
Thaddeus smiled. “We are not Darius and Feng.”
“So, you don’t want kids then?”
“Of course. But since we’ve been married just two years, we’ve barely had time to be together. Between us staying on at Rajput longer than we were supposed to, me starting an actual firm and Ravi building his company, we’ve been crazy busy. We haven’t spoken at length about children yet.”
“Well, if you don’t mind me saying, you’re getting old.”
Thaddeus laughed. “I could say the same for you.”
“Me?” Ko sputtered as if Thaddeus had said something so blasphemous it warranted bulging eyes and a gasp. “Nah. Husband and kids are not in the cards for old Takao. I’ve tried.”
“Maybe you should try again. It has been a while since I’ve seen you with anyone.”
“No. Love isn’t for the Takao men. Mom left Dad for some politician when I was four. He raised me on his own. He never dated after that. I guess Mom leaving the way she did really tore a piece off him.”
“I know the story. And yes, your father was hurt and I don’t think he could have risked it again, especially with a child he had to look out for. But that doesn’t mean you won’t find a lover who adores you.” Thaddeus eased back into the seat. “If an old dog like me could find someone, why not you?”