Lost In You

by Remmy Duchene

  Jackson’s cheeks burned. “That’s not it. He knows I’m—well—gay, right?”

  “I don’t know if that’s any of his business. I’m sure Ko wouldn’t…”

  “Ko? Ko Takao?”

  “You know him?”

  Jackson shook his head. He could tell Thaddeus that Ko had crashed his shoot with Men Tower and they’d had a bit of a moment. Though they hadn’t said a word to each other and Ko had been on the other side of the room, Jackson had felt something. There had been a certain electricity rushing through his veins at having Ko’s eyes on him. Knowing Ko watched him had had Jackson wanting to be devoured by the Japanese hottie, and after the shoot and the adrenaline had worn off, those thoughts terrified Jackson beyond belief. “I know of him.” he lied easily. “The label you’re talking about is Hansamu.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Damn.” Jackson had to sit down. He sipped from his water, deep in thought. Would working for Ko be a good idea?

  That’s dumb. You’ll never see him. The only people you’ll have contact with will be the photographer and your co-star, if you have one.

  Jackson frowned.

  Could he really be the face of such a large line? Would his face and body convince men they should be wearing Ko’s clothing? Then again, his closet was packed with pieces from Hansamu—they fit like a dream.

  “Think about it, huh?” Thaddeus asked. “It would be a great opportunity for you.”

  “Yeah, it would,” Jackson said softly. “It scares me, you know? Being the face of a line of this size.”

  “You won’t be alone. You remember Priya?”

  “Beautiful Indian woman—her brother is Abhay, I think.”

  “Yeah. She’s the female lead of the line right now and will continue to be. It seems the public adores her. If you’re in, I’m sure she’ll love to work with you.” Thaddeus stood.

  Jackson nodded. “Okay. I’ll get hold of you tomorrow and let you know.”

  “Good. Now, I should go. When I left the car, Ravinder was on an international call to Mumbai. I should take him home so he can get some sleep.”

  “Give him a hug for me,” Jackson said. Over the past few years, he’d become friends with Ravinder Raja since Ravinder was like a brother to Feng Stark.

  “I will. And you’re coming to the wedding, right?”

  “Of course. I think Uncle Darius would disown me, otherwise.”

  Thaddeus laughed then turned to leave. He stopped while digging into his pocket. He pulled out his wallet, retrieved a card and handed it to Jackson.

  “Thanks. Have a good night.”

  “You, too, Jackson.”

  Jackson remained where he was standing a moment longer. Modeling wasn’t what he wanted to do with the rest of his life. Dancing would last only until his body decided not to corporate anymore. His education to make video games would only be as useful as long as his ideas were fresh and there were people in the world who loved gaming. This gig wasn’t going to last a lifetime. It was another thing to give him some exposure, to put his face out there so people knew him as just Jackson Stark and not Darius Stark’s nephew or Kent Stark’s son. He wanted to be known for what he accomplished.

  Finally, he unglued himself and gathered his things. He got dressed and left the studio, heading east on Elgin Road toward the center of Bathsheba where he lived in a one-bedroom condo. He had bought it two years ago after finishing university and right before he’d scored a job with Darius’ company. Dancing was a lucrative racket if you could find the work.

  He was barely through the front door when his cell phone rang. He dumped his keys on the kitchen island then picked it up.

  “Jack, listen,” Charlie Stone said excitedly. “There is a call out for a principal dancer for The Orangutans. It’s one day of shooting and the pay is the usual, on a Saturday. You want in?”

  “What kind of question is that?” Jackson asked. “You know it!”

  “Sweet! I’ll let Paul know.”

  “When you say Paul…”

  “The rapper from the band.”

  “I’ve known you for years. When did you get on a first name basis with Paul Shankar?”

  Charlie laughed. “You know me, man. I get around. Listen, what you doing tomorrow night?”

  “I have a few concept ideas to finish up but I can get that done tonight. Why?”

  “I need a chill night.”

  “I hear you. I want to talk to you about something. You got a sec?”

  “Always.”

  Jackson poured some orange juice, rummaged through the freezer for ice and dropped as many cubes in as he could. When the glass was almost overflowing, he bowed forward and drank the excess then added another ice cube. “So, you remember Thaddeus Masterson?”

  “Thaddeus…Thaddeus…don’t think so.”

  “He’s engaged to Ravi.”

  “Oh! Yes!” Charlie said in a Barry White-esque voice. “That tall drink of hot chocolate. How could I have forgotten him?”

  Jackson laughed. “Down, boy. That tall drink of hot chocolate is getting married soon and is officially off the market.”

  “Oh, you’re no fun.”

  Jackson crinkled his nose and took a drink from his glass. “Anyway. Apparently, Ko Takao is the new owner of Hansamu and he’s looking for a face for the line. Thaddeus recommended me.”

  “Hot damn!”

  “I know! I told him I’d think about it.”

  “Think about it?” Charlie asked, shock evident in his voice. “Boy, what’s wrong wit-choo?”

  Jackson chewed on his lips. “Say what now?”

  “What’s to think about? This is no doubt a lucrative deal. So that’s some major cash in your pockets. You can save for everything from that.”

  “I know. But it seems big, you know?”

  “Well, you wouldn’t be human if it didn’t scare you, so I think you’re right on track. Take it. Do your thing and enjoy it. You’re young and sexy…”

  “Sexy?” Jackson asked. “So why did we break up?”

  Charlie cleared his throat. “You stopped wanting me.”

  For a moment, Jackson said nothing. He licked his lips and nodded needlessly. “I guess that’s an important part of a relationship, right?”

  “Yeah. The love isn’t enough without the other stuff. They say love should be everything but love without attraction isn’t real. Love without carnality, without wanting, isn’t enough.”

  Jackson agreed but didn’t voice that. “Well, for what it’s worth, I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. If you fall out of love with someone it’s not because you’re a douche. Your heart is the asshole.”

  Jackson laughed. “I’m glad we can still talk, Charlie. I’m glad I didn’t lose you.”

  “I’m glad you didn’t lose me, either. I am a whole lotta awesome.”

  “Check out the ego on this guy!”

  Charlie chuckled. “Ego nothing, man. I’m just sayin’.”

  “Yeah, yeah.”

  “I’ll see you tomorrow night,” Charlie said. “Oh, and if you’re still clear as mud on this whole Hansamu thing, talk to your dad or Darius. They know this guy better than you and can give you some insight on his friends. Or even talk to Ravi.”

  Jackson promised he’d sleep on it then take Charlie’s advice if he was still unclear on what to do the next morning. After all, he had promised Thaddeus an answer soon. Still drinking from his juice, he climbed the stairs, deep in thought. The conversation he’d had with Charlie about why they’d broken up was still fresh in his head. It wasn’t that he didn’t love Charlie. No, Jackson would always love Charlie. But his friend didn’t want children. In fact, Charlie had nothing good to say about kids. When he had realized that, Charlie was no longer sexy in Jackson’s eyes. There was nothing more attractive than a man with kids. Jackson wanted children—a whole army of them if he could handle it. He smiled.

  There were other reasons why he’d seemed to stop wanting Charlie but th
e kids situation was the one hurdle Jackson just couldn’t get over.

  With a sigh, he set his half-full glass on the bedside table next to his alarm clock and peeled off his clothes. He bunched up each article in a small ball and made a three-point shot to the laundry hamper in the corner under a large window. Jackson managed to get everything in except his boxers. He shrugged with indifference before he walked over, picked it up and dropped it into the hamper.

  “Guess my jumpshot needs a little work,” he muttered and chuckled.

  Bright and early the next day, Jackson reported to the office. He had a few things he had to finalize before his second game could be released on time from Stark Enterprises. The first game, Together We Rise, had done so well, Jackson still thought it was all a dream. He didn’t have any more space on his mantel for awards. Proud, he leaned back in his chair and took a moment to bask in the happiness that radiated through him in that moment. But he didn’t spend too much time on that. Together We Stand had to be bigger, better. The characters had to be more in depth, the graphics crisper. Everything about the sequel had to outdo the first.

  In the beginning, the critics had said he had gotten the job only because he had Darius Stark’s DNA in him. After the game’s release, the stories changed to his success being beginner’s luck. Jackson would be damned if he proved them right.

  So far, the beta testers were enjoying Together We Stand. There were a few things Jackson had to take back to the drawing board but he didn’t see doing that as an issue. Even after the first game had been out, it still had a few tweaks he would have liked to get done. He’d worked closely with the beta players since they were there to make sure the game had been put together right and the community would enjoy it.

  If Jackson was being completely honest, he was more than a little frazzled about the whole thing. Everything had to be done in the next two weeks. The launch party was quickly approaching, but before then, they had an ad campaign to put together, followed by a round of press and conventions. Though he wouldn’t be doing the promotion circuits, he still had to meet with the voiceover actors and the rest of the team who did face the public to show off the games.

  Needless to say, everything had to be perfect.

  He gathered the tablet, exited his office and hurried down the hall to Darius. The door to his uncle’s office was open and though Jackson could hear voices, he stuck in his head. “Dad?”

  His dad laughed and waved. “Hey, son. How’s your day?”

  Jackson hurried over to hug him. “Good. I was coming to pick Uncle Darius’ brain but I can come back.”

  “No need.” Darius rose to close the door. “Sit, would you?”

  “Dad.” Jackson took a seat beside his father and set his tablet on Darius’ desk. “What brings you here?”

  “Can’t a guy come visit his brother and his son without everyone suspecting him of having ulterior motives?” Dad asked, eyebrows raised.

  “Um…no,” Jackson said.

  He laughed out loud. “That’s exactly what your uncle said. What is it with you two?”

  “We’re realists?” Jackson asked.

  “No, what the two of you are, are asses.”

  Jackson chuckled. “Seriously, what’s up?”

  “Nothing. I just wanted to see you,” his dad said. “I mean, I don’t want to take things for granted, and over the last little while you seemed to be so busy. I figured I’d pop in, see that you’re breathing, that sort of thing.”

  “Jesus, Dad, I’m sorry.”

  “No need.”

  Darius sat on the front of his desk and watched them. Jackson offered him a small smile. He thought back to the last few weeks, and though he had seen his dad, he couldn’t remember the last time they’d been in the same room together.

  “And things are about to get crazier,” Jackson said. “Thaddeus offered me a sit down with Ko Takao to model for Hansamu.”

  “That’s amazing news,” Dad exclaimed.

  Jackson nodded. “I told him I’d think about it.”

  “What’s to think about?” both Darius and his dad chorused.

  Jackson shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I don’t want to bite off more than I can chew and being gay, that could hurt his brand.”

  “You do know Ko is gay, right?” Darius asked.

  “Yes, but being gay and having a gay face are two different things,” Jackson muttered. It wasn’t until the words left his lips that he realized just how truly dumb they sounded.

  “Well, shit. That’s the biggest load of crap I’ve ever heard,” Dad said.

  That surprised Jackson. When Darius had come out to Kent, Kent hadn’t handled it well. It had been even worse when Jackson had come out. That had put a strain on their relationship but over the years, his dad had made an effort. He was probably still not a hundred percent with it, but he did prove to Jackson that he loved him. “But, Dad!”

  “No buts. If you’re not going to do this, find another reason, because that one is bullshit.”

  Jackson turned to Darius for some support but Darius was giving him the same look his dad was. Jackson groaned and nodded. “Okay. The launch of Together We Stand is right around the corner and…”

  “I’m not saying be complacent,” Darius said. “But after the reviews the betas have given you, and the success of the first, this game will practically sell itself. And Violet can be your face at press conferences that you can’t make it to—don’t worry. This was my dream, remember? We need you to find yours.”

  Jackson offered a shaky smile. In one conversation, his dad and Darius had taken away all the crutches he had for not accepting Ko’s offer. With nothing left, he made a mental note to call Thaddeus as soon as the meeting with his father and uncle was over. He nodded. “Okay then. I guess that’s that.”

  Chapter Three

  Ko was barely in his office before Stella Priest entered and flopped into the seat across from his desk. She looked tired, but she always looked like that. Her black and blue hair was tied up in a tight, efficient ponytail and her face wore the least amount of makeup he’d ever seen on a woman—lip-gloss and eyeliner. That was it. It wasn’t that she wasn’t interested in her appearance. For as long as he’d known her—five years or so—she was always immaculately dressed, but according to her, she was allergic to most makeup out there. Proof came when she’d used what was labeled as ‘hypoallergenic foundation’ and she’d spent a week in the hospital because she’d broken out in the worst case of hives he’d ever seen.

  He dropped his bag on the floor by his chair then sat on the front edge of his desk and folded his arms.

  “How was India?” she asked.

  “Hot. But nice,” Ko admitted with a grin. “You know Ravi and Thaddeus—they just had to get me away from here and I can’t say I blame them.”

  “Awesome. So what’s this I hear about you replacing the face of Hansamu?”

  “You knew this was coming, Stella.” Ko rose to get a bottle of water from the mini fridge. “Want anything?”

  Stella shook her head. “I figured things would change. But have you found someone yet? It’s not like you can let his contract run out if you don’t have a clue of where to find someone.” She paused as if to measure her words but Ko was aware that wasn’t the case. Stella had little quirks that a person who didn’t know her would definitely misread.

  He also knew she wasn’t finished so he waited.

  “Even if you did find someone,” Stella continued thoughtfully. “Would you release the guy we have now? And what would you do with the contract for him?”

  “He doesn’t have much longer left.”

  Stella consulted her tablet. “A month.”

  “Right. So we run what we have of him now and when he finishes his contract we give him a good going-away package and move on. His agency will need a little time to find him something—maybe we can talk him into a couple of extra months just so we can get things squared with the new model. It sounds harsh but business i
s business.”

  Stella nodded. “That doesn’t yet answer the question of did you find someone to replace him. I mean we can’t get rid of one face without another.”

  “I know that. I think I’ve found the perfect guy.” Ko grabbed a folder from his bag and handed it to her. “I’m just not sure if he’ll accept.” He then focused on removing the seal on his water and taking a drink while she skimmed through what he’d given her.

  “Oh, gawd! I hope he swings my way.” Stella moaned. “He’s a little young but—come to Momma!”

  “Down, girl. We’re going to wait until he accepts the job and finishes his contract before you set your sights on him. I don’t want a lawsuit.”

  “Dibs!”

  “What?” Ko asked, arching an eyebrow. “You can’t just call dibs on someone.”

  “Why not?”

  “Seriously?”

  “That’s not an answer.”

  “He’s not the last piece of chicken at the dinner table!”

  Stella rolled her eyes. “How else am I going to let my intentions be known?”

  Ko groaned but he doubted Stella heard that. She was still busy rifling through the images Ko had managed to get from Darius and Kent.

  “All I’m saying is,” she said, “once he’s finished working, I want some of that.”

  “And if he doesn’t swing that way?”

  “Then you definitely have to tap that.”

  Ko winced. It was hard to hear that kind of talk. No matter how long he’d known Stella, he never got used to how brazen she always seemed to be. Still, he crossed his ankles and took another swallow from the water. “I saw him model for Men Tower a couple of days ago, and damn.”

  “That good?”

  Ko nodded. “The man has skills, and seeing him in these pictures does him no justice. His body is more toned, skin darker and seems smoother. I think all the airbrushing they did to his photos is just a waste of money.”

  Stella moaned.

  “Breathe, Stella. No climaxing on my chairs, please?”

  Stella laughed. “Sorry. Couldn’t help it.”