Lifeline

by Susan X Meagher

  Opening her mouth to Ryan’s hot, wet tongue, Jamie moaned aloud when she felt the darting muscle touch every part of her mouth – stroking and probing. Unconsciously, her mouth opened even wider as her legs spread simultaneously, drawing a groan from Ryan as the lust-filled woman nestled her hips into the space that Jamie had created for her.

  The dark woman pulled Jamie’s tongue into her own mouth, sucking forcefully in tandem with her thrusting hips. One rough push, and their positions were reversed, Jamie now lying in the warm, moist embrace of Ryan’s spread legs.

  "I need you," the dark woman begged, her breathing heavy and ragged as it warmed Jamie’s cheek.

  "I need you too, Ryan. So much." She wrapped her arms around her lover’s torso and squeezed her tightly, trying to show by the ferocity of her embrace what she felt in her heart.

  They kissed … again and again, with a deep, hungry intensity that was quite rare in their lovemaking. Ryan was much more forceful – much more decisive and assertive than normal … pushing Jamie a little further than she was used to.

  "Come inside me," Ryan said, her voice high and tight with emotion. Responding immediately, Jamie slid into her, her way eased by the slick lubrication that had obviously been building for quite a while. "More," Ryan whispered. "I need more." Another finger slid in to join the first, and Ryan sighed heavily as she felt her flesh stretch slightly to accommodate her lover. "Fill me up," Ryan said quietly, her need unquenched. "Let me feel you touch me deep inside. Stretch me wide open."

  Jamie drew in a shaky breath and slipped a third finger into her ravenous partner, desperately wanting to satisfy her desire, while fighting concern about hurting her. Ryan clearly did not share her unease, as her body stilled momentarily, her legs splayed wide open, her lips parted, eyes closed tightly. "More," she whispered, her breathing shallow and rough as she waited expectantly for her partner to meet her need.

  The blood pounded in Jamie’s head as she swallowed hard and tried to follow Ryan’s instructions. Never had her partner expressed a desire to be penetrated so fully, and the mere fervor of her request was an incredible turn on for the smaller woman. There was something completely appealing about the vulnerability that Ryan revealed, but at the same time, Jamie felt a little out of her depth, uncertain about how far to push, feeling the need to protect Ryan from her own desire.

  Ryan growled deep in her chest, slightly frustrated. Thinking quickly, the smaller woman withdrew completely, causing the dark beauty to utter a pitiful moan. But her moans quickly turned to groans of pleasure as Jamie entered her with both thumbs, using the dexterous digits to offer a deep internal massage of her partner’s very essence. Her thumbs slid across the sizzling hot skin, their way made ready by a liberal coating of moisture from an inexhaustible source deep within.

  "Yesssssss," Ryan hissed, grasping Jamie’s shoulders so firmly that the blonde could feel the skin start to bruise. "Just … like … that!"

  Concentrating fully, Jamie scooted down the bed, allowing herself the delicious pleasure of watching her hands take possession of her lover’s most private place. She used her thumbs to stroke and press against every inch of Ryan’s slick walls, feeling the spongy tissue plump and swell under her ministrations. Sliding her digits in deeply, she slowly pressed outward, giving Ryan the sensation of intense fullness that she craved.

  "Oh my God!" Ryan moaned throatily, pulling her legs up to her chest to allow for a better angle. "That’s it … fill me up, baby … unh! So good!"

  Trying to make the experience last, Jamie backed off a little, letting the tissues contract slightly. Her thumbs never stopped moving, however, gliding softly in every direction at once.

  Ryan’s breath began to come in great, heaving gasps, and Jamie saw that she was close to the edge. Dipping her head, she sucked the rigid nub of sensitized flesh into her mouth, swirling her tongue around the bundle of nerves as her thumbs continued stroking and probing.

  The powerful hands groped blindly, grabbing fistfuls of sheet, then latching onto Jamie’s head, tugging on the blonde hair as she let out a howl, her body shivering and spasming wildly. It was nearly impossible to stay with her, but she did her best to ride out the storm, while remaining locked together in their erotic embrace.

  When the spasms slowed and then stilled, Jamie lifted her head to gaze into her partner’s eyes, stunned when she saw a steady stream of tears flowing down Ryan’s face. "Sweetheart! What’s wrong?" Instantly she was at Ryan’s side, grasping her in a fierce hug. "Did I hurt you?"

  "No, no, of course not," Ryan murmured, her words garbled through her sobs. "It just … you just … I needed …" She sighed heavily, trying to control herself while Jamie clutched her partner against her chest.

  "Tell me," the smaller woman said. "Why are you crying?"

  "Because I … I feel so much, Jamie. I just feel so much." She continued to nuzzle her face into her lover’s chest, unable to be close enough.

  "Ryan, what’s going through your mind?" Her voice was soft and gentle, and she trailed her hand through Ryan’s mussed hair, smoothing it back into place.

  "I … I woke up a little while ago, and I had this need ... " Jamie could feel her shrug her broad shoulders helplessly, but Ryan’s explanation had not been very elucidating.

  "What need?" she whispered, rocking Ryan slowly in her arms.

  "I needed … I needed to have you … inside of me," the dark woman revealed, not really understanding the feeling well enough to explain it. "I feel so empty when you’re away from me, Jamie. I keep thinking about leaving you tomorrow, and it just makes me ache. When I think of being down in North Carolina it makes me feel so empty and alone. I needed you … I needed you to fill me up again so I had the strength to leave." Shimmering eyes blinked up at Jamie, her expression heartbreakingly vulnerable. "Was it too much?"

  "Oh, Ryan," she sighed. "I could never have too much of you. I have an inexhaustible need for you, and I always will," Jamie said, lowering her head so that Ryan could look directly into her eyes. They were nearly nose-to-nose, and Jamie couldn’t resist the urge to kiss Ryan’s still trembling lips. "Don’t ever be afraid to show me how you feel. That’s why we make love, Ryan. It’s the best way to open our hearts to each other."

  "I know," the dark-haired woman murmured. "This just caught me by surprise. It felt so intense. Scary intense." Her head shook slowly, causing her hair to tumble around her shoulders in a wild cascade.

  "It was intense," Jamie said. "But our feelings are intense now, so our lovemaking will be too. That’s how it should be. Please don’t be embarrassed or ashamed to show me your heart."

  Ryan’s blue eyes glittered in the moonlight as she blinked them slowly. "I’ll try, baby. It’s not always easy, but I’ll always try."

  "I’ll try, too," Jamie promised. She looked at her lover with a slight tilt to her head. "Wanna see what’s in my heart now?"

  Giving her an emotion-laden kiss, Ryan sighed, "Without question."

  The next morning, Jamie dropped Ryan off at a parking lot near Haas Auditorium. The bus was waiting, and both women looked at it like it was the embodiment of evil. "I don’t wanna go," Ryan muttered.

  "I don’t want you to go," Jamie said quietly. Touching Ryan lightly on the arm, she said, "I feel like I talked you into this, baby, and after last night I’m not sure it’s the right thing for you. I laid awake worrying for hours after we made love, but I’m still not sure of what’s right."

  The dark head shook slowly. "I don’t know what’s right anymore either, Jamie. I’m only going through the motions at this point. It feels like I might as well go – just because I can’t bear to do anything else."

  "I understand," the blonde whispered. "But I want you to know that it’s perfectly all right with me if you go tell Coach Hayes you quit. I only want you to go on this trip if you’re certain it’s what you want."

  "It’s not," Ryan said, shrugging her shoulders, "but I want the other options even less."

  "Oh
, honey, I’m so sorry things are turning out this way, but in just a few days we’ll be in the Bahamas – just resting."

  "I’d quit now if I didn’t have that to look forward to," Ryan said. "It’s like the Holy Grail."

  "Remember how much I love you, Ryan. I’ll be thinking about you every minute."

  "Me too," Ryan said. "I’ve got to go, or I’ll start crying again, and I don’t want to give everybody a show." She gave Jamie a tender, lingering kiss, then sighed heavily and got out of the car, grabbing her bag from the back seat. Without another word, she strode towards the bus, Jamie staring after her as the few photographers present snapped away.

  Damn! I feel so guilty I could cry. I know she’s going because of what I said, but now I’m not sure it’s right for her. She was so unbelievably fragile last night – I’m not sure she can take care of herself. The only positive thing about the whole mess is that there will be less media attention focused on her. God knows this can’t be as big a story in North Carolina as it is here.

  As soon as she got on the bus, Ryan marched up to the intern from the sports information director’s office and said, "I saw my picture on the news yesterday."

  Vicky Palacios looked up at her, blinking a little, trying to understand the point of the comment. "Yeah? And?"

  "It was the photo taken for the basketball team," Ryan said. "Did you authorize a release of that photo?"

  "No!" she said, her eyes wide. "It’s against our policy to release anything like that, Ryan. I swear I didn’t."

  Shaking her head slightly, Ryan patted her shoulder and said, "You don’t have to swear, Vicky. I’m just very sensitive about things like that right now. I’m trying to get a little peace."

  Reaching up to grasp Ryan’s hand she gave it a squeeze. "It’s okay, Ryan. I’m really proud of you for what you did. You’re … something else."

  "Yeah … that’s accurate," Ryan said. "I don’t know what … but I’m something else."

  After passing down the aisle with little comment, she found a seat in the back of the bus,. All of the teammates she got along with had called her at home and then fussed over her at practice the previous day, and the ones that didn’t care for her probably wished she had fallen off the car on the first hill.

  "I feel better," Ryan said when she reached her partner by phone. Jamie had gone back to the O’Flaherty house, feeling safer with Conor, Rory and Kevin around.

  "That’s the best news I’ve heard all day," Jamie said. "I’ve been worried sick about you, baby."

  "You don’t have to, really. I’m rooming with Franny, and she’s afraid to speak at all, so I don’t have to put up with any questions. Plus, I haven’t seen a reporter since we landed. Life is sweet."

  "Well, we got a sweet offer today, but I don’t think you’ll like it."

  "What?"

  "The Bay Area BMW dealers want to give us a new X5 SUV."

  Ryan paused to let that sink in and asked, "They what?"

  "They want to give us an X5."

  "I’m waiting for the catch. I know there is one."

  "Of course there is. There’s always a catch. They want to do an ad campaign showing you on the roof of the Lexus saying, "If she did this for a Lexus, imagine what she’d do to hold on to her X5."

  There was a pause, and then Ryan started to laugh. The sound grew louder and louder until she was collapsed onto her back, her muscles too weak to hold her up any longer. Jamie knew that Ryan was just slaphappy, but she delighted in hearing her laughter nonetheless. "That’s so fuckin’ funny," she gasped out. "I mean, the mere fact that they had the balls to even propose that is hilarious!"

  "Brendan is handling all of the calls now, because Conor had started blowing a whistle into the phone," Jamie said. "He was laughing at this one, too."

  Ryan paused for a minute and said, "I want the goddamned car."

  "Pardon?"

  "I want that damned X5," she said. "That car is so totally cool. I really want it, Jamie."

  "Honey, if that’s what you want, I’ll buy you one. You don’t have to prostitute yourself to get it."

  Ryan waited a beat, and then told the truth. "I want it because they’re gonna give it to us … for something that we did. It feels like we earned it. Does that make any sense?"

  Jamie had to think about that for a minute, but she finally had to admit that she saw some logic in the thinking if she really stretched. "Okay, let’s say you do want it. You certainly won’t let them use your picture like that!"

  "No, of course not. See if Brendan thinks there’s a way to get this done on my terms. Tell him I really want the car … with every damned option known to man! I even want BMW floor mats and a cool key ring!" she said. "They can’t use our picture, or our names, of course, and I don’t want them to refer to the incident specifically, but if they can meet those terms – we’ve got a deal."

  "You know what I like about you?" Jamie asked, shaking her head fondly.

  "What’s that?"

  "I can hardly ever guess what your response will be to any given situation. You are a wealth of contradictions."

  "All part of my charm," Ryan said, feeling perky for the first time in days.

  After the team dinner, Ryan asked Lynette if they could speak in private, and they went back to Lynette’s room to do so. "Look," Ryan said when they were alone. "I’m not into idle gossip, but I’ve got to figure out what’s going on between the coach and me. I’m on the verge of quitting, but I hate to do that right when we’re starting to play better."

  Lynette nodded her head and said, "I can understand why you want to quit, Ryan. Really, I can. I know you got off on a bad foot with Mary, but I also know that wasn’t your fault. As you’ve gathered, she’s a real stickler for following rules, and from the beginning it just seemed as though you were intent upon breaking them." Ryan started to defend herself, but Lynette interrupted. "I know it wasn’t intentional, Ryan. But, in a way, that doesn’t matter. Mary got an impression of you that just hasn’t faded. Honestly, I think you two just have a personality conflict that gets in the way."

  "Personality conflict?" Ryan asked slowly. "I don’t have a conflict with her, Lynette. If she’d just leave me alone, and let me play to the best of my ability, I wouldn’t have a problem in the world!"

  Nodding once again, Lynette said, "That’s the conflict, Ryan. Mary will let you play to the limit of you talent – but only if you follow the rules. I know that seems screwed up to you – but that’s how she is." She looked at Ryan for a long moment, and said, "Can I trust you to keep what I tell you confidential?"

  "Sure, you can trust me, Lynette."

  "Mary would deny this, but I honestly think that she’s let her personal feelings about you and your lifestyle get in the way."

  The younger woman sank into a chair and said, "Shit. I thought you said she wasn’t a homophobe."

  "She’s not," Lynette said with conviction. "It’s not that, Ryan. It seems odd, but I’ve really given this a lot of thought, and I think I know what the problem is. I think it bugs the hell out of her that you have things she’s never had, and will probably never get."

  "Like what?" Ryan asked, entirely puzzled.

  "I honestly think she’s jealous of your talent, you relationship, and your money."

  "Pardon me?"

  Lynette stood up and walked around the room for a few minutes. "Mary was married up until four years ago, Ryan. She has three kids … all of them pretty young. Her husband left her unexpectedly, just after he agreed to make this move to the Bay Area. He had money – lots of it – but it was family money, and when they divorced she didn’t get a thing. As a matter of fact, since he couldn’t find a job once they got here, he sued her for alimony! She was in court for two years, and just got that settled recently. Granted, she makes a good salary, but with three kids in private school, and a live-in nanny, she’s not doing very well. She’s not living the life she thought she’d have, Ryan; and ever since this happened, she’s had a bug up her
ass for people with money. She seems to assume they’re going to be attention freaks like her husband was, or that they’ll demand special treatment.

  "I think she had a visceral reaction to seeing a great-looking young woman with her whole life ahead of her … lots of money … lots of talent … and a great relationship with a loving, supportive partner. Mary’s gonna be forty this year, Ryan, and this job is all she has to support her family. I think she overreacts and makes a lot of poor choices, because the damned job means so much. It’s sad, but true … I think her need for the job might take it from her."

  "You think she’ll be fired?" Ryan asked quietly.

  "No, the school doesn’t want to pay her off. But she’s on a four-year contract, and this is the end of it. If we don’t finish better than we did last year – I’m sure she, and I, and everybody else -- is gone."

  "That sucks," Ryan mumbled, thinking how hard it would be to depend on a bunch of college kids to insure your job security.

  "Yeah. It’s not too hard to find another assistant’s job, but head coaching jobs at the Division I level are not so easy to come by. Especially when half of them are held by men," she grumbled.

  Ryan smiled sadly and said, "That wouldn’t be so bad if women held half of the men’s basketball jobs."

  "Yeah. That’s gonna happen," she said. "Anyway – I think I’m right about this. I think she just misjudged you, and hasn’t let herself see the truth."

  "So, you think I’m wasting my time, huh?" Ryan asked.

  "No, no, I don’t, Ryan. Even though she keeps her eye on you more than she should, she really does like you." Lynette smiled broadly and said, "You’re pretty hard not to like."

  "She sure has a funny way of showing that she likes me," Ryan grumbled. "Barring Jamie from practice was bad enough, but to stop her from sleeping with me was just chicken-shit."

  Lynette placed a hand on Ryan’s shoulder and said, "You’re not gonna like this, Ryan, but in this instance, I can really see why Mary did what she did."

  "What!"

  "You heard me," she said softly. "You know she has a firm rule about keeping practice closed."