Breathless

by Lex Martin

  When his lips gently skate against my skin, I’m breathless. I’ve waited a lifetime for this kiss, a lifetime to love the boy who’s grown into this stunning man.

  A lifetime for him to see me, the girl next door, as something more than his sidekick.

  The kiss is everything I could’ve wished for.

  Sweet and soft but electric.

  Sublime.

  Gentle kisses turn harder as my mouth opens to him and his tongue slides against mine. I shiver in his arms, overwhelmed by the sensations ricocheting through me. Overwhelmed by how much I want him. Confounded by the need to be as close to him as possible.

  The guttural moan that rumbles in his chest sends another spark of pure pleasure through me. “Fuck, Jo. Why haven’t we done this before?”

  I run my fingers through his hair, and our heads shift, turning the other way like an intricate dance we’ve choreographed before our lips connect again.

  I mutter the answers to his question.

  “Because I was too young.”

  Kiss.

  “Because you were too stubborn.”

  Kiss.

  “Because we weren’t ready.”

  Kiss.

  With a growl, he parts my lips again and delves deeper. “Well, I’m ready now.”

  Between my legs, he grows hard, and I gyrate my hips, thankful we’re in deep enough that no one can see what our bottom halves are doing.

  Those rough fingers skate along my bikini bottoms, and my pulse races. Yes. All the yeses.

  Someone shouts on the beach, and abruptly we pull back, panting and out of breath.

  He smiles and cups my face.

  When he speaks, his voice is rough. “We’d better stop before things go too far.” A chuckle escapes him as he leans closer to kiss me one more time. “Tonight, though, we need to talk.”

  He moves us closer to shore. I slide down his body and take a step back.

  Is he merely putting off telling me something terrible? The heart-pounding elation zipping through my body comes to a screeching halt. “That sounds ominous.”

  “Nothing bad, Bitsy. I promise. Just…” He squints in the sun and studies my face. “I wanna make sure we’re in the same place. That we want the same things.”

  I nod, ignoring that twinge of fear whispering that we don’t want the same things. That maybe he’s looking for something casual, his usual.

  But he did say he’s ready now.

  I nod, knowing that if he wants to be friends with benefits, I won’t do it. I won’t do casual. Not with him. Because my heart can’t handle being disposable to him.

  Although… when was the last time Logan Carter had a girlfriend?

  My stomach twists as I consider the answer, the one I don’t want to hear.

  Because the answer is never. Logan has never had any kind of significant relationship with a woman that lasted beyond a fling or hookup.

  Wanting to be brave, I return the smile. “Of course. We’ll talk.” I have some things I need to say as well.

  Needing a break from the intensity of his stare, I glance at the beach, where our friends play volleyball in the sand and hunt for seashells. Two of Tori’s bridesmaids splash in the water closer to shore.

  No one pays any attention to us, fortunately.

  Everyone’s having fun, which is what we should be doing too.

  Determined to shake off my somber mood, I tug on his arm. “Race you to the beach?”

  And I take off running.

  15

  Logan

  After a fierce volleyball competition where we let Ethan and Tori’s team win—’cause I’d be a shitty brother if I rained on that parade—I collapse in the sand. Lying back, I toss my arm over my face to shield it from the sun. The moment my eyes close, all I see is Joey. The way her lips felt so soft. That silky hair through my fingertips. Her luscious body against mine.

  Needing to hide how she affects me, I flip over onto my stomach, adjust my junk, and turn my head, which gives me the perfect view of Josephine, who’s laughing with Tori and Kat.

  That kiss has my head in a place it’s never been before, thinking about shit I’ve never considered with any other woman.

  But Joey’s different. I’ve always known this. I’ve always known she’s special.

  She was right. I wasn’t ready for this. For her. I’ve been too damn stubborn about crossing a line with her.

  I wasn’t always so opposed to it, but it’s been a long time since I’ve seriously considered anything with Jo.

  Patrick drops down next to me. “Corona?”

  I nod and sit up. “This your way of apologizing for being a cock?”

  He laughs and chokes on his beer. “Cutting right to the chase, huh?”

  “What’s the point in beating ’round the bush? I know you have a thing for Joey, but she’s off limits.” I point at his overheated face. “And you brought Renee to piss off Joey.”

  Anger radiates off him as his mouth tightens. “See, you’ve been saying Joey’s off limits for a while, but I don’t see you making a claim there.”

  I look him straight in the eyes. “Things have changed. I’m gonna try to figure this out.”

  Patrick shakes his head, the anger fading from his expression. “You suck.” He shoves me, and we both crack a smile.

  It’s hard to stay mad at him. After Silas went rogue and our buddy Isaiah took off to some hellhole to be an extreme sports guide, Patrick’s the only one who stayed around after high school. We stayed friends ’cause it was either that or hang out with the old men and listen to them complain about their balls sagging.

  After another drag of his beer, he sighs. “I like Joey. I have for a while. Nothing like that unrequited, star-crossed lovers crap you two have going on, but I’d be an asshole for trying to come between you.” Another sigh. “The Renee thing wasn’t malicious. I figured one of the guys would be into her. She’s hot as fuck.” He gives me a long look. “You’re not looking to piss a circle around Renee too, right?”

  A hot surge of disgust rises up in my chest. “You really think I’d be trying to get serious with Joey while making the moves on Renee?”

  He shrugs, and that has my heart sinking.

  That’s not the first time I’ve been told I’m too much of a player for the likes of Joey. It pisses me the hell off. It always has.

  Although, if I’m being honest, until Joey up and left for Florida, I doubt I was ready to get serious with one woman.

  Turning to Patrick, I level him with the truth. “If I ever fuck over Joey, you have my full permission to kick my ass down Main Street.”

  He smirks. “Don’t think I won’t take you up on that.”

  I sure as hell hope he won’t have to.

  16

  Joey

  Laughter belts from Tori as Ethan whips her into his arms. They’re standing in the middle of the pool with their friends nearby, but as they look into each other’s eyes, they might as well be alone. Their love is palpable, the thing of fairytales. It swells my heart to see how blissfully happy they are together.

  They’re some serious couple goals.

  I sigh, wondering if this burgeoning tryst with Logan will blossom into anything meaningful.

  Of course it’s meaningful for me, but will it be for him? I know his reputation. I don’t want some flash-in-the-pan vacation fling. But I’m not sure I can avoid it with him.

  He sits on the other side of the pool, talking to Patrick. They seem to have mended whatever drama that had come between them. In other words, Renee.

  Patrick has his arm over her shoulders as he talks to Logan on the other side of him, and although Renee seems aloof, she appears to have switched her objective for the weekend just fine.

  If I weren’t so nervous about tonight with Logan, I’d have a Cheshire cat grin that she backed off.

  Tori jumps out of the pool and dries off next to me. She follows my line of sight and snorts. “I bet that’s not how she expected to spend
her weekend.”

  I give her a crazy, wide-eyed smile that I know will make her laugh. “Tough shit, huh?”

  We both cackle.

  I don’t really curse, thanks to my father who would tan my hide if I so much as gave a dirty look, but Tori has the mouth of a sailor, and any time I let a foul word slip, it delights her to no end.

  Her sister Kat saunters over to us. “You two are up to mischief, aren’t ya?”

  Tori holds her fist up to me. “Hell yes, we are.” I bump her back and chuckle.

  “Have I thanked you yet for agreeing to do our hair next weekend?” Kat wraps a towel around her waist. “I feel bad making you work at the wedding.”

  “I’m honored to be asked. Seriously! It’s no hardship to work on y’all’s hair.” If I’m being honest, I’m kinda glad the person they scheduled had to bail. “We need to talk about styles and do a practice session this week to make sure I know exactly what you want for Saturday.”

  “You’re such a lifesaver.” Tori squeezes me in a python hug. “I can write you a check for everything when we get home.”

  I gasp. “You are not paying me.”

  “Oh, yes, I am. I didn’t ask you so you could do it for free. You do great hair. I’m lucky to have you. I didn’t ask initially because I wanted you to relax and enjoy the festivities with us, but I’m in a pinch. I fully expect to pay you, though.”

  “How about a discount?” Like a super-huge discount. I love this girl too much to make her pay full price. I’ve only known Tori two years, but she and Kat totally adopted me as one of their own. The fact that these two are now part of the Carter clan is one of the best things to ever happened to me. I love Logan and Ethan, but it’s amazing to have a few more girls around. “It can be my wedding gift to you.”

  She growls, and I laugh. “We’ll see.”

  Kat nudges me. “How’s the new salon coming?”

  “Great. My cousin is painting the new location now.” I feel bad ditching her with so much work, but Dawn can’t be too upset I’m not there to help. I gave her nearly every penny I’d saved living with her to invest in the new business.

  “We were kinda wondering about the salon and how that would work with…” Tori tilts her head toward Logan and widens her eyes meaningfully.

  That’s a really good question. One that makes me ill if I think about it too long.

  I swallow. “You mean starting a new business in Florida while—”

  Tori does a hip thrust. “Knocking boots with that farm boy in Texas.”

  Heat sears up my neck. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. No one’s ‘knocking boots.’”

  “Yet.” She starts humming that Luke Bryan song, and I hide my face because I’m too embarrassed to look at my friends.

  “Ladies.”

  My heart skips at the sound of Logan’s deep voice.

  Before I can turn around, he drapes a tan, muscular arm over my collarbone and draws me to him.

  Tori sighs and gives me a conspicuous wink.

  “Mind if I steal Jojo for a bit?” Logan’s chest rumbles against my back, and every cell, every molecule in my body surges to life.

  “Let me grab Rambo.”

  Tori waves me off. “I’ll watch him tonight. Go have fun.”

  She and her sister give us enormous grins as Logan tugs me out to the beach. The sun has almost set, and he threads his fingers through mine as we walk along the damp sand.

  I keep stealing glances at our hands.

  And those kisses earlier today in the ocean? Holy Hogwarts, that was hot.

  We walk for a while, the sound of seagulls and lapping waves the backdrop to our leisurely stroll. The entire time I try to control my breathing so I don’t hyperventilate.

  It was different when we were on the beach this afternoon surrounded by our friends, but walking alone with him along the shore at dusk, hand in hand, is another thing altogether.

  The butterflies in my stomach go kamikaze when his thumb rubs over my wrist.

  This is Logan, I remind myself. I’ve known him my whole life. More than anything, he’s my friend first. We’ll figure out the rest.

  Finally, my heart gets under control as I accept that there’s nothing to be nervous about.

  Except that we might get naked.

  There goes my calm.

  Chill the eff out, Joey.

  “I can’t believe we’ve never been here together,” he says, pausing to toss a stranded starfish back out to sea.

  “I was always so jealous I couldn’t tag along.” My father never would’ve allowed me to stay anywhere overnight with the Carter clan even if Bev promised I’d get my own room.

  By the time he abandoned us, my grandmother was too sick for me to take any kind of vacation. Watching my mother waste away from cancer was horrific, but the unpredictability of Gran’s Alzheimer’s wrecked me in whole new ways.

  Pushing those grim thoughts out of my mind, I pick up a shell and study the striations. “I’d hear about the walks on the jetty and you guys fishing with your dad, and I would’ve given anything to go. Silas always made sure to tell me every little detail. Those must have been some of the best memories of your father.”

  When he doesn’t say anything, I reach for his hand again. It must be bittersweet to remember his dad. Daniel Carter was the most amazing man. Always caring. Always involved. Patient. And so friendly, he could charm the bark off a tree. Basically the opposite of my father, whose mercurial moods would swing so intensely, I couldn’t keep up.

  “My dad… yeah.” He clears his throat.

  I lean my head on Logan’s shoulder as we stare out at the water. My heart aches when I think back to how he found his father in the barn when Mr. Carter suffered a fatal heart attack. Everyone was devastated, but Logan worst of all.

  He turns to face me. The expression on his face is so serious, so solemn.

  Shoot. I didn’t mean to bring up his dad. This topic always makes him somber. I can understand. I don’t want to reminisce about tragic events in my life either.

  Before I can say anything, he asks, “Can we talk about what happened at Christmas?”

  I still.

  My heart starts racing again, but for a completely different reason.

  Of course he wants to talk about what happened over the holidays.

  How can I explain it without sounding needy?

  My eyes dart away, a flush of embarrassment staining my cheeks. I try to tug my hand out of his, but he holds on tighter.

  Moving me closer until I’m pressed up against him, he whispers into my ear, “Joey, please. Tell me what happened. Whatever it is, I need to know. It’s making me crazy, wondering what I did to you.”

  Nodding, I tilt my head down and close my eyes.

  I can do this. I can tell him. He’s right.

  Stepping back, I look out into the darkness, where the crests of waves are highlighted by the moon.

  “It was the culmination of things that week.” I kick a shell at my feet deciding to get this off my chest. “Remember when we went to the River Walk to take photos with your family?”

  Out of my peripheral vision, I see him nod.

  “I didn’t want to talk about it before since everyone was in a good mood that night and Ethan was going to propose to Tori, but that was the worst week ever. First my car—well, Gran’s Buick—was vandalized, and the next day, the day y’all took those photos, I lost my job.”

  “Seriously? What happened?”

  I explain how someone smashed my window and trashed the interior while I was at work. Fortunately, one of my coworkers helped me fix my window, but that was just a prelude to getting fired.

  Recalling that afternoon has me seeing red all over again.

  “This client hated how I cut her hair. She screamed at me when I was done and made a huge scene.” My lips twist as I remember how embarrassed I was to be called out in a salon full of people. “It was so strange since she had specifically requested me. Called. Made an
appointment. Asked for me. I swear I gave her the exact cut she asked for, but she made such a stink, and since I had been late a few times, Shelly fired me.”

  “Bitsy, I’m sorry. Wish you had told me.”

  “I wanted to.” Just thinking about that night upsets me, which is why I’ve tried not to since I’ve been home. “But I didn’t get a chance.”

  “Because you left for Florida?” he asks hesitantly.

  “No, because you left.”

  He’s silent, and I know he’s probably trying to remember what happened that night.

  I cross my arms over my chest, hating how vulnerable this makes me feel, but I promised myself on the bus home that I’d be honest about what happened. That I’d be brave. “We were supposed to take photos. You said you wanted a pic of the two of us, so I tagged along.” Like always.

  I held everyone’s coats while they took photos. At the time, I didn’t mind. I love the Carters, and it’s not like I’m officially part of their family. I didn’t expect to be asked to take a photo with the whole clan, but I thought Logan wanted one of the two of us.

  “The whole night you were texting someone, and then you disappeared, wandered down from where we were to make a call.” Pausing to take a breath, I turn to look him in the eye. “The photographer left while you were gone. We never took our photo. And then I heard what you said.”

  Sad, pathetic Joey was heartbroken Logan hadn’t bothered to remember the photo.

  The space between his eyebrows tightens, but I can’t tell if he’s still clueless.

  “On the phone. I heard your conversation. I hadn’t been trying to eavesdrop, but your mom asked me to get you, and I heard.”

  His expression doesn’t change, and I groan, upset I have to say the rest out loud and annoyed I didn’t push him in the river at the time. “I heard you say I needed to get a life. That you were tired of dealing with me. That I exhausted you.”

  “What are you talking about, Josephine?” He looks completely perplexed, like I’m speaking a foreign language. “I’ve never, not once, thought that, much less said that. Even when you were this tall and needed piggy back rides across waist-high grass because you were afraid of the snakes. How many summers did I carry you across Mr. Johnson’s field?”