Loving Jade: Flynn's story - Riverstone Estate Series - standalone

by Roya Carmen

  I shoot her a wink. “You’ve done this before.”

  She laughs… and God, I can’t get enough of this girl. She struggles to get her feet positioned properly – the stirrup are a little low – I underestimated how small she is. I adjust them quickly and help her into them. “Wish me luck,” she says, a little apprehensive.

  I assess her carefully – I want everything to be perfect. “Loosen on the reins.”

  She loosens her grip. “Like this?”

  “Okay, get going... squeeze his sides a bit with your legs.”

  Her stance is good as Buddy starts walking. They’re moving along fine. Her back is to me so I can’t see the expression on her face. I’m impatient as I wait for them to turn the corner. When they finally do, I spot the grin on her face. She’s over the moon – she’s loving every minute of it. As they pass me, I shoot her a thumbs up. “Wow… look at you two go.”

  They’re not trotting, just walking but soon enough, I’m sure they will. They go around the arena quite a few times. When she’s had enough, I help her dismount Buddy and as soon as she’s on her feet, I take her in my arms. When she lifts her gaze to mine, I kiss her. I just can’t help myself. Our mouths linger for a few short seconds, hungry, desperate. She clings to me, wanting more but I pull away. It’s the hardest thing to do. “We really need to stop meeting up like this,” I tease.

  “I really need to get those papers filed.”

  “Yes.”

  “Tomorrow.”

  “I can’t wait.”

  Buddy shakes his head and snorts, wanting attention.

  I turn to him and give him a pat. “I think this guy deserves a treat.”

  “Yes,” Jade cheers. “And then I get mine,” she adds with a wink. “I can’t wait.”

  Of course my mind goes right into the gutter. “What?!”

  “Cake… remember?”

  “Oh yes… cake.”

  Cake.

  Damn.

  Jade

  It’s a perfect cool crisp fall day. Amber looks comfy in her Uggs as the three of us saunter down Main Street. My wedged fall booties are pretty comfortable too but they’re still four inches to walk on top of. Ruby’s high chunky heeled boots are as tall as mine and she towers over us, fashionable in her black suede button jacket – she looks like she belongs on the streets of Paris. “Check out those hats,” she squeals. “They’re fabulous.”

  I smile, my face practically pressed against the store window. A wide selection of vintage hats are displayed on a hat rack; mostly velvet, in a myriad of colours, pillbox and cloche hats with lovely ribbon and flower accents, and stylish berets. The hats are fabulous all right but I could never imagine myself wearing any of them. It takes a certain kind of confidence to pull off a hat like that. Ruby on the other hand, was made for stylish hats.

  She grabs me by the sleeve. “We’re going in.”

  Amber pouts. “You’re getting us sidetracked, Rubes. I have a to-do list I need to check off.”

  Ruby grins playfully and shoots her sister a sweet look. “Your list can wait… can we just do a little girly shopping first?”

  Amber rolls her eyes to the sky. “All right, but ten minutes tops. I’m checking my watch.”

  I have a feeling that Ruby gets what she wants all the time. She’s so charismatic and sweet, and the baby of the family – both Amber and Flynn seem to coddle her. But I like her a lot – she’s just a person you want to be around.

  The quaint vintage clothing store is warm when we walk in. A rainbow of colours draws the eye and there’s top forty hits music on the radio. This is exactly the kind of place I could get lost in for hours. Ruby heads straight to the hat rack and Amber walks around, slowly taking in the space.

  I can’t believe I’m having a BFF girly moment – out with friends, shopping. I haven’t had girlfriends in forever – it’s so fun. I’m looking forward to this day. We’re going to the British Imports shop, the flower shop, lunch, and then to the cake shop.

  And…

  Later this afternoon, I need to go to the court offices to file the divorce papers.

  Ruby turns to me, a stylish red hat askew on top of her dark locks. “What do you think?”

  “It looks amazing.” It really does.

  She pouts. “I love it, but where the hell will I ever wear this?”

  I laugh. “You live in the wrong country. In Britain, they wear hats to go to Sunday brunch.”

  “Do they, really?” She smirks. “Are you just making that up?”

  “Maybe… I think they do. Pippa Middleton does,” I joke.

  “But she’s high society,” Ruby points out as she tries on another hat – this one, a robin’s egg blue.

  “True. But I like to think they do.”

  She sighs. “Me too…”

  Amber joins us, a pretty white blouse hanging off a silk hanger. She holds it up with a smile. “You think this would look nice on me?”

  “Yes,” Ruby exclaims. “Go try it on.”

  I slither between the racks of skirts and blouses to have a look. I can’t afford to buy anything. I need to save the little money I have. If I want to eventually get my own place and go to college, I need to be smart. I can’t mooch off these people forever. As I slide my fingers between the garments, my mind wanders. I try not to think about Michael, but he’s all I’ve been thinking about since I received his letter.

  Him and Flynn.

  They both tug at my thoughts – each one as strong as the other, each one relentless. It’s a wonder I can even function with my mind chock-full of them. I don’t want to file the papers but I know I need to. I know I’ll break his heart. As hard and angry as he can be, Michael feels more deeply than most. I miss him – the sweet, kind parts of him. I also miss the feel of his touch. Why can’t I just shake him?

  Fuck.

  If I don’t file the papers, I’ll break Flynn’s heart. And what do I do then? Go back to my old life? All of this will have been for nothing. I’ll be back at square one. No. I’m stronger than that.

  I spot a beautiful skirt; flowy transparent fabric covered with sky blue and purple flowers, perfect for summer. I walk away. I walk around the store and take in the vintage fashion posters and antique mirrors on the wall, and the stylish sixties retro chair tucked in the corner. I spot flyers on the counter next to the cash register.

  Still in Style Boutique accepts gently used consignment items.

  I grab one. I may want to sell some of my wares soon. I think about the designer dresses, bags and shoes. I don’t want to part with them but they could be a useful source of income.

  I check out the jewelry section by the window and get lost in the sparkly gems; lots of copper and silver accents.

  “Lovely, isn’t it?” the shop lady says with a smile.

  “Yes… I love it.”

  “It’s all handmade by local artisans,” she explains.

  “Wow,” I perk up. “Beautiful. I… I make jewelry myself,” I add, a little unsure.

  “Really… what kind of jewelry do you make?”

  “Contemporary pieces… lots of copper, leather…. it’s just a hobby.”

  “You should bring your stuff in one day,” she offers. “I love to support local artists.”

  “Oh wow…” I say. “Thank you. I appreciate that.”

  “My pleasure,” she offers with a tight grin – she seems to sense that I’m in a tight spot, at a difficult crossroads. I probably have confusion and unease written all over me.

  “Ten minutes,” Amber calls out like a drill sergeant and I laugh. Ruby scowls, practically buried in the rack of evening gowns. “Oh okay… you’re such a drag, sis.”

  “Are you getting the hat?” I ask. If I can’t partake in the joys of shopping, I want someone else to.

  “Nah,” she says as she weaves out of the cloud of silk and taffeta.

  “You’re not buying anything?” Amber pipes in, seemingly surprised.

  She smirks. “They call it w
indow shopping for a reason.”

  The lovely lady with the bob frowns a little as we head out. I smile and thank her.

  We swing by the British Imports store where I have a lot of fun checking out the selection of goodies. Amber picks up her order of chocolates to offer at the reception. Then we’re off to the flower shop where she finalizes the flower selection for the centerpieces and bouquets; simple arrangements of white Calla lilies and baby’s breath. The scent of the shop is overpowering and takes me right back to my wedding day.

  White lilies were my flowers too – simple and classy. I wore a modest silk white dress with a bustier top. My hair up in a tight bun, a soft ribbon lined veil hid my face. I was thankful to be able to hide behind the veil because I was so nervous. I kept asking myself, “Did he really pick me?” Michael looked stunning in his dark suit – he was a vision. We got married in the fall as well and opted for a simple black and white wedding. My older sister was my maid of honour and she wore black. I had no bridesmaids because I had no friends. Even nine years ago, Michael had already alienated them, or perhaps it was me.

  We have lunch at a quaint little deli. I enjoy a prosciutto Panini. I always try to make healthy choices when eating. I can’t pick up a menu without thinking of my waistline – it’s the way Michael made me. My mother too – if I had a dollar for every time she called me fat, I could probably afford a small castle. “Why can’t you be more like your sister? She doesn’t eat like a pig.”

  I polish off my Panini and I’m still hungry. I practically salivate as my eyes gobble up the yummy looking desserts in the deli window, but we’re saving our appetites for the cake shop.

  As soon as we walk into the cake shop, it hits me again; the sweet smells and cozy atmosphere; brick lined walls, wrought iron accents and natural woods – this place is perfect. Ruby and I make ourselves comfortable at a small table tucked in the corner.

  I bite my lip, not sure if I should confide in Ruby. “I… I was here yesterday.”

  Ruby cocks a brow. “Oh… really. What did you have?”

  I smile, remembering Flynn and I sitting at this very table, sharing the most delicious slice of cake I’ve ever had. “Black forest cake.”

  “Mmm… that one is soooo good.”

  Amber is at the back with the shop owner, going over the final details of her wedding cake. It’s just Ruby and me and I like it that way. Amber is great but she’s very much a mother hen. I don’t think she would understand or approve of what Flynn and I are doing. I’m still married after all. And he’s… was my therapist. But Ruby is the kind of gal you dish with.

  “I like the carrot cake,” she says. “It’s to die for. Next time you come here, you should let me know… I love this place.”

  I smile. “Yeah, sure. I…”

  She shoots me a grin. “You…”

  “I was here with Flynn.”

  She tilts her head, a sly smile stretched across her pretty face. “Ooooh… I have a feeling I’m going to want to hear more about this,” she teases.

  Thank god… I need to confide in someone. I’m like a love-struck junior high girl at a sleepover. All I’m missing are the pajamas and plush animal. “Flynn and I…”

  I can’t find the words.

  She stands to attention, literally at the edge of her seat. “You and Flynn?”

  “Hello, ladies,” the server cheers; a young good looking hipster with dark glasses and a neatly trimmed beard. “What can I do you for?”

  Ruby looks up, her hands still pressed against the table, geared up for all the juicy details. “Oh crap, perfect timing, buddy,” she says to the server, her words laced with sweet sarcasm. “Jade here, was just about to tell me about how she and my brother are hooking up and you decide to show up with your little pen and pad.”

  He laughs as he takes a step back and then he cocks a brow and looks at the both of us. “Are you sure you want to hear that… he’s your brother, dude.”

  “Yes! I’m sure,” she says. “Now, let’s make this quick.”

  The server’s grin is stuck to his face as he takes my order and sizes me up, his gaze traveling from the bottom of my wedged boots to the top of my head. I’m mortified.

  We both order a slice of the carrot cake and tea.

  As soon as the server steps away from our table, Ruby is on me like a kid on Santa’s lap. She wants all the juicy details.

  I stare down at my hands, not quite able to start. The diamond on my finger seems bigger and brighter than ever. Guilt washes over me. I’m still married. My chest aches as I think about later this afternoon. I’ll walk into an ordinary building, down a hall, probably up an elevator. I’ll hand papers to a woman I probably won’t remember five minutes later. It’s so easy to call it quits. Nine years of marriage gone. I can even pretend it never happened, but I know I won’t do that.

  “We’re not sleeping together,” are the first words out of my mouth. “I’m still married.”

  She bites her bottom lip, her attention completely focused on me. “I know.”

  “He’s such an amazing person.”

  She smiles. “I know.”

  I grin playfully. “And so damn hot.”

  She laughs out loud. “Ewww. I don’t want to hear it.”

  We both giggle like high school girls. “He is a fine looking man,” she agrees. “Even as his sister, I can see that.”

  “He’s been so nice… helping me out, you know,” I start, “with the equine therapy and everything else. I’m really messed up.”

  She pouts. “Aren’t we all?”

  I nod quietly. “True. Well, me more than others. Anyway, Flynn has been great from the start… and we’ve spent so much time together…”

  “And…”

  “We’ve kissed,” I confess, my mind full of our first kiss at his loft and how we almost took it too far. I wanted him so badly, it ached. I smile at the memory of our second and third kiss in the arena and under the blanket fort. “Three times.”

  She nods, a grin practically splitting her face in two. “Three times... that’s pretty serious, Jade,” she says a little too loudly.

  I feel the blush creep along the curves of my cheeks and I shake my head. “Stop it.”

  “Am I embarrassing you, Jade? Jade and Flynn, kissing in a tree…” she starts to sing but is quick to quiet down when I shoot her a scowl.

  “But seriously, I’m so happy for you, Jade. You are such a sweet person and I know for a fact that my big brother is amazing. If you snatch him up, you’ll be the luckiest girl in town.”

  Flynn is amazing and every time I think about the two of us together, I can’t help but wonder if I’m good enough for him. “Well, I don’t want to get my hopes up,” I admit. “It’s really complicated with Michael and we both want to wait until I get settled before we go further...” my train of thought drifts as I picture Flynn’s naked body, his hot skin pressed against mine, our mouths wet with arousal. I shake my head.

  “Oh damn, that will probably be really hard.”

  I blow out a breath. “You tell me.”

  “August and I… Eric and I literally could not keep our hands off each other. It was crazy.”

  I laugh. “I love how you call him August, and then Eric in the same sentence.”

  She grins. “I know it’s confusing… authors and their double identities.”

  “Pretty sexy though.”

  “For sure,” she laughs.

  The server boy pops over again with a tray – our slices of cake look delicious. He sets our cups of tea on the table first. “So, did she tell you all about how she’s doing your brother yet?”

  Ruby cracks up. “Sort of… not the juicy details thankfully.”

  “Oh… thank god.” He smirks as he turns to me and hands me my plate. “But I wouldn’t mind hearing the story.”

  “Perhaps another time,” I joke.

  He winks. “Her brother is a lucky guy,” he says playfully and then he’s off.

  Ruby is s
lack jawed. “Did the server just wink at you?”

  I laugh. “Probably just joshing for a good tip.”

  “Oh no… he’s into you. You’re such a vixen, little Jade.”

  I practically spit out my tea at the sound of her words. “Me… a vixen… I wish.”

  She shakes her head. “Don’t do that, Jade. You’re a total hottie. You’re smart. You’re the whole package, sweetie.”

  I smile – she sounds just like her big brother.

  “So what about you, Ruby? Are you and Eric getting married soon?” I ask, gazing down at the huge rock on her finger.

  She grins playfully. “No hurry. Everything is perfect now. I’m crazy in love and I have a boss who drives me wild and lets me take the day off to go shopping with my sisters.”

  My heart swells at her words – she sees me as a sister too. I know we’ve only met recently, but she and I and Amber had an instant connection from the start, the kind of friendship I always wished I had.

  “We’ll probably just elope to Fiji this winter,” she says. “Eric doesn’t want a big party. He doesn’t like being the centre of attention and I just want whatever makes him happy. As long as we’re together, nothing else matters.”

  So true.

  As long as there’s true love, the small stuff doesn’t matter.

  Jade

  I reach for my jewelry box; a pretty black filigree box with brass copper detailing Michael gave me years ago. “It’s done,” I tell Ginger. She’s lying in a ball on my bed. As I open the box, the familiar music plays – Unchained Melody. Tears fill my eyes as I look down at my wedding ring one last time and remember all the good times. I pull the rings off my finger slowly. They’re almost impossible to remove – I’ve never attempted to take them off before.

  The thought of Michael nauseates me. He’s going to flip when he’s served with the papers. I know this isn’t going to be good, but I did what needed to be done. For one of the first times in my life, I was strong. I tuck my rings away with the rest of my expensive jewelry and close the lid. A small gesture – a symbol of the end of a life I no longer want.

  “Hopefully, the weather will cooperate tomorrow, and we can have the ceremony out here,” the priest says to Amber.