by Roya Carmen
She stands on the tips of her toes, and reaches for a kiss. I indulge in her mouth, and get completely lost in her. I slip a greedy hand under her shirt and pull down her bra cup, desperate to feel her sweet nipple hard against my hand. She moans into my mouth, loving it. I can’t wait to make her come again. I love the sounds she makes when she reaches that glorious edge.
I grab her gorgeous ass, press her against the flower covered wall. This room is sweet and innocent but everything I want to do to her is not quite so… I want to have my filthy way with her, wrap those adorable legs around my neck.
She clings to me like a monkey as I carry her across the room and drop her on the bed. The bed slides with the weight of her and thumps against the wall.
She laughs. “A little quieter please.”
“I’ll try.”
“Is the door locked?” she asks.
“Yes.” I reach for the band of her leggings and in one quick move, I slide down both the pants and panties over her hips. She lets out a breath, taken aback.
I get hard at the sight of her… she’s just so damn hot. “Spread your legs for me.”
She bites down a smile and slowly… slowly, she opens up for me. She’s wet and so ready for me. “I want to taste you,” I whisper.
She closes her eyes and tilts her head to the ceiling. She lets out a small moan. It’s a yes – she wants me to have a taste.
I bend down over her as I free her completely from her leggings and pull off her socks. I drag my hands along her curves. I love the feel of her soft silky skin under my fingers. She pulls herself to her elbows to watch me, and for a moment our gazes are fused.
“Take off the t-shirt,” I command.
With a playful grin, she quickly obliges. She’s a vision, almost completely nude, save for the white lacy bra wrapped around her torso covering a single breast, the other loose, and beautiful and so fucking sexy.
The sight of her makes me so hard, I suddenly want to be selfish and just sink into her. But no, I want to rock her world with my mouth first, and then make her come a second time with my cock.
As I trail my hand along the curves of her hip, around the mole on her lower belly, I spot the jagged scar on her flesh; white and hard. I’ve noticed it before, but now it seems so much more conspicuous. I want to know the story behind it, but now is not the time to ask questions. I look up at her and she’s quiet, almost fearful. She knows I’ve noticed the scar, and there’s an unspoken agreement that I’m not going to ask about it right now. There are more important things to tend to at the moment.
I lean into her and press my finger softly along her sex. She throws her head back and spreads her legs wider, giving herself fully to me. She’s all mine. I bet she’s not thinking about that asshole right now. She’s all mine. I spread her lips apart to discover her swollen clit, ready for the taking. I slide my tongue around it and along her sex, feasting on her. I trail my tongue up and down and around, loving every minute. She tastes as sweet as I’d imagined. She lets out whimpers of pleasure and I almost come right there from the sheer sweet sound of her. The more I go at her, the more frantic she becomes, pressing her sex harder against my face, and I go harder at her. I can feel her coming and I dig my fingers into the flesh of her hips. She grinds me harder and I’m in heaven when I finally hear her release. There’s nothing more amazing than hearing her get lost in me like that. There’s only her and I in this moment.
I’m her only one.
Jade
The moment is perfect. We’re spooning in my bed under the covers, cozy as two kittens in a basket. I wish it could last forever but I know it can’t. “I don’t want you to go but you shouldn’t stay too much longer… I wouldn’t want Trevor to catch us together like this.”
He squeezes me even tighter “I know but I don’t want to leave you.” He traces his finger along the curve of my hip.
We lie in silence for what seems like an eternity, neither one of us wanting to let go.
“Will you ever tire of me” I ask, unsure, “like Michael said.”
He kisses my shoulder. “Never. Don’t listen to him. He’s an asshole. He never loved you the way I love you. A man like him is incapable of love, Jade.”
My breath catches and I turn to him. I can’t believe what I’ve just heard. I’m not sure I heard him right. I want him to say the words again. “Say that again.”
“Say what again? The bit about your ex being an asshole?”
“No… the bit about you loving me.”
His eyes light up. “I’ll never leave, Jade. I love you.”
My heart warms at his words. Michael has uttered those exact words to me before, but coming from Flynn, they feel more genuine, more real. “I love you too, Flynn Riverstone. With all my heart.”
He cups my face and presses his mouth against mine. We share the sweetest of kisses and he pulls away softly. “I know I need to go but can I just look at you a little longer?”
I bite my lip. “As long as I can look at you too.”
I lie next to him, drinking him in; the beautiful curves of his torso, the sexy tattoos on his shoulders and hip, and those eyes that could just break me if he wasn’t so sweet and good.
His hands are busy drawing circles on my flesh – he can’t get enough of me. And I love every minute of it. I’ve always struggled with my body image but at this moment I’m seeing myself through his eyes.
And I’m perfect.
His finger trails to the bottom curve of my lower belly, just under my navel. He pauses there, looking at my scar. He wants to know but he doesn’t ask.
“Pretty ugly, right?” I say.
His gaze is fixed on the ugly jagged scar. I hate it. I hate everything about it. I hate the horrid sight of it. Every time I catch a glimpse of it, it reminds me of that night, the night I met Michael. This scar is my little secret – no one has ever seen it before. With the exception of my doctor and Michael, of course. Michael was there when it was inflicted on me. This scar was the start of us. Most couples are brought together by beautiful or fun things; a school dance, a night at the movies with friends, a work convention, a wild party, a wedding. But Michael and I were brought together by the slice of a pocket knife through flesh.
“No… it’s not ugly.” Flynn traces his finger along the jagged edges… the gesture absolutely breaks me. Other than my own, his fingers are the first to press along the jagged ruined skin. All these years, Michael has never touched it – I think the sight of it brought him back to that night.
I know Flynn’s not going to ask me what happened – he would never put me in that position. But I want to tell him. I want to let him in. “It was about ten years ago,” I start. “I was out with friends at a bar. You know… typical girls’ night out. We all drank a little too much.” My stomach feels queasy as I replay the events in my head.
Flynn listens attentively, not taking his eyes off me.
“I was a bit tipsy… okay, maybe a lot tipsy but I wasn’t wasted. I was in complete control…. or so I thought,” I go on, not wanting to tell him the rest.
He doesn’t push or pry. He lets me decide if I want to go on.
“I was dancing with this guy and having a great time. We’d been dancing all night and with every dance, it seemed we got a little closer. He was a big tall guy. Blond and built.”
Flynn nods, completely transfixed. I know I need to tell him the whole story now – I’ve already gone too far.
“He started to grind against me and get a little too handsy, and I wasn’t looking for that. I was still a virgin and all I wanted was a little fun. I used to love dancing… but I don’t think I’ve been to a bar since.”
“Really?!”
I shake my head. “Nope… haven’t.”
“Anyway,” I carry on. “I struggled to get out of his grip and shoved him away. I just wanted to get away from him… I don’t know why I ran outside. I was safer inside, surrounded by people.” I draw invisible circles on the mattress, not quite a
ble to look up at him. All these years, I’ve blamed myself. If I hadn’t worn that short skirt, if I hadn’t been such a tease, if I hadn’t run outside where we found ourselves alone…
“He followed me out and caught up to me. He pressed his hand against my mouth and dragged me to the back of the club. He had me in a headlock and I struggled but I was no match for him. He shoved me against the garbage bin and called me a little cock tease. I was still fighting him when he whipped out his knife and pressed it into my flesh. I still remember the pain today… always will.”
I’m in tears now and Flynn pulls me closer. “It wasn’t your fault, Jade. You don’t have to tell me more if you don’t want to.”
“I want to. I should have. I should have told you that first day when you asked me about my past.”
He holds me tight. “You didn’t know me then. How could you have—”
I pull from him and wipe my tears with the heel of my hand. I want to tell him the rest of the story. “After he cut me, I had no more fight in me. He brought the knife to my neck and told me the next cut would kill me if I didn’t behave.”
Flynn is devastated. He doesn’t want to hear it but we both know I need to tell him the rest. “He lifted my skirt and ripped off my cheap flimsy cotton panties. And then I knew it would happen. I knew it would hurt. My friend Jessy had told me it would hurt the first time, but by the second or third time, it was better. I knew there wouldn’t be a second time with this guy.”
I swallow before I go on and tell him the worst part. Or possibly the best part. I still don’t know. “He was fiddling with his pants when he got pulled right off me. I couldn’t believe my eyes. The first thing I did was crouch to the ground. You’d think my first instinct would be to run but it wasn’t.”
“Of course. You were traumatized,” Flynn offers.
“This huge guy pulled him right off me. The knife went flying, and the guy went crazy. The rapist threw a few good punches but he was no match for this guy. The guy just lost his mind, and banged the rapist’s head against the brick wall, over and over again. He screamed at him, ‘How do you like that, you fucking bastard. How do you like it now?’ I yelled at him to stop… he was out of control. And finally he did, and the rapist crumpled to the ground. I was sure he was dead.”
Flynn is slack jawed, at a loss for words.
“I guess I don’t need to tell you the big guy was Michael. He had been so violent but he was so sweet after. He came to me and asked me if I was okay. I’ll always remember that moment – he trailed his hands along my face, searching for injuries. The rapist’s blood stuck to my lips. I can still taste it sometimes. I told him I would be okay but he didn’t believe me. He scooped me up in his arms and rushed me down the street to his car, and sped off – I think he knew he was in trouble.”
“God…” is all Flynn manages to say.
“When we were far gone, he pulled the car on the side of a dark road. I wasn’t scared of him. I knew he wouldn’t hurt me. He just wanted to know if I was okay. I told him I hadn’t been hurt, save for the cut. I was bleeding and my white shirt was stained… it was impossible not to notice. His eyes grew wide when he saw and he immediately pulled up my shirt to see. He told me he would bring me to the hospital.”
“Did he?” Flynn is impatient – I’m not telling him the story fast enough.
“He did. He dropped me at the emergency. He didn’t come in with me. He asked me my name and asked me to keep our secret.”
“Did you?”
“I did. I never told a soul. Never told anyone before you.”
“Did you tell him your name?”
“I did. I suppose that’s how he found me at home a week later. He came to check on me.”
“And that’s how it began between you two.”
“Yes. I was a real damsel in distress and he was my saviour.”
Flynn clears his throat. “Yes…”
“Now you see why there’s so much to our story. There’s more than meets the eye with the two of us. Before him, I felt worthless. Part of me actually believed I deserved what was coming to me that night. If Michael hadn’t happened by that night, I would have let that guy rape me and I probably would have never told anyone. I would have been too ashamed.”
“Fuck… Jade. Your words break my heart.”
“I know… I’m not that girl anymore. I’m a lot stronger now.”
He smiles. “I know.”
My heart swells with emotion. It feels so good to finally get this off my chest and tell my story. It’s been trapped in me all these years, hammering to get out. “And now I’m left with this ugly scar, a shitty reminder of that horrible night.”
He traces the length of my scar gently. “It’s not ugly.” He smiles up at me. “It may sound crazy but I’ve always wanted a scar.”
“Really?!”
“A lot of my friends have them. They were daredevils, did crazy shit on their dirt bikes. I’ve always been cautious. Or they’d get into fights. I got into a few scuffles but nothing crazy. Even the bad scars, the ones that come with bad memories, like the one Aiden has on his knee from the car accident… they’re interesting... they tell a story.”
“I never thought about it that way… but it’s true. There’s always a story behind a scar.”
“So whatever happened to the rapist?” he asks.
My stomach feels heavy when I tell him the end of the story. “He was hospitalized… for months. He suffered from severe head trauma. He was in a coma for weeks, and then was left with severe brain damage. He couldn’t speak right or walk straight. Michael almost killed him.”
Flynn’s eyes grow wide as he listens to my words.
“It was all over the news,” I go on. “There was a search for the man who beat him. Only Michael and I and the rapist knew who he was. I promised him I would never tell… and we fell in love, brought together by that night and our little secret.”
“Fuck…”
“I know… it’s twisted. But it’s our story. Now you see how it’s so much more complicated than it seems. I’ll always be tied to him… he saved me. He was my protector.”
“Yes,” Flynn agrees, “but… but now he’s the one who hurts you.”
“I know.”
“Let me be there for you now. You don’t need him anymore.”
My throat swells and pricks. I want to say something but I know that as soon as I try to utter a single syllable, I’ll fall into tears. I’m strong and can look out for myself now. I don’t want Flynn to protect me. I don’t want to put him in harm’s way. I don’t want to put any of them in jeopardy. I’ve seen Michael at his worst. I know he can be dangerous. He’s volatile, driven by passion. And unfortunately, he still loves me.
And as long as he loves me, he’s a threat to all of us, most of all, Flynn.
I know it will completely destroy the both of us, but I have no other choice.
I need to walk away.
Jade
Amber stands over me, watching me pack – every single thing I own is tossed into the three large suitcases I brought when I first came here.
“I don’t understand,” she says. “I thought you were happy here. We all love having you here.”
“I told you… I just need to be on my own, Amber. I can’t mooch off you guys forever. I’ll be back to visit, I promise.”
Her gaze darts across Ruby’s room and settles on Ginger who is curled up in a ball on the bed. She’s just a cat but she seems to know what’s going on – somehow she seems sad. Damn, I’m going to miss that cat. Not as much as I’ll miss Flynn but… God, I’ll miss all of them: Amber, Trevor, Ruby…
I don’t want to do this.
“You’re not mooching off us,” Amber argues. “Like I said… we all love you… Trevor, Ruby and I, and Flynn—” She jerks her gaze to me. “Wait a second… this isn’t about Flynn, is it?!”
I don’t say a thing, at a loss for words. She must know. I know Ruby has kept my secret but I’m sure it’s
pretty obvious. Yes, this is all about Flynn. I’m trying to protect him.
Her face lights up – she has that same blush Flynn has when he lights up. “Flynn and you… you’re a thing,” she says.
I give her a meek smile. We are. We were.
“You’re just going to leave without telling him?” she asks, not waiting for a response. “You’ll break his heart.”
I shake my head. “No, no, no. I will tell him. I’ll explain everything to him when I leave.”
“Explain what?!”
Why can’t she see? Does she not have eyes? She was there at Trevor’s party. She was there at the rehearsal dinner. Doesn’t she realize how dangerous Michael is?
“This isn’t forever,” I tell her. “I just think that for the time being, it might be best if I stay away. With the divorce and everything, I’m afraid Michael is going to do something crazy, and I would never want to see your family getting hurt.”
She blows out a long breath.
“I don’t think it’s fair of me to put your family in a dangerous position like that. Any of you could be at risk, especially Flynn. If Michael gets worse, obsesses over my relationship with Flynn, who knows what he could do.”
Amber doesn’t say a word – she seems to agree with me. She watches me quietly as I tuck in more items into my suitcase. Ginger watches me too with the saddest eyes I’ve ever seen.
Amber finally breaks the silence. “I see where you’re coming from, Jade, but I think you’re letting your imagination get the best of you. Where are you going to go?”
The truth is, I’m not sure. “I’ll find somewhere.”
“I know Michael has hurt you, but has he ever committed a crime? Has he ever done anything crazy?”
Visions of that night flood my brain; Michael’s hard blows to the rapist’s head, blood splatter, the look in his crazy eyes, and the bloody body abandoned on the ground. I can’t say a word… I know that.
“I think the safest place for you is here,” she adds, arms crossed. Amber Riverstone is a stubborn woman – I won’t win this fight anytime soon.
Following one of the longest, most awkward silences I’ve ever known, she finally leaves. As soon as she’s out of sight, I fall into sobs. I don’t want to do this. I’m so damn confused. I really don’t know what to do. Maybe she’s right – maybe I’m safest here. But what about the others? What about Flynn? Is he safe being with me?
