“One room for my wife and me will be perfect,” he said, releasing me and handing her some coins. My heart fluttered at the word wife.
“We don’t get many visitors. It’s nice to see a young married couple traveling together through these parts,” she replied. “I’m Matilda. If you need anything, just ask for me. I’ll go and fetch some warm water and take it to your room, so it’ll be ready for you. When you’re finished eating, head on upstairs. It’s the second door on the right.” She left.
“Why did you tell her we’re married?” I asked. I didn’t mind the ruse. If anything, I found the prospect appealing. However, given Anders’s treatment of me lately when it came to being anything more than friends, it surprised me he chose to go this route.
Anders whispered, “Since you’ve announced you’re a Kriger, we need to stay together so I can keep an eye on you.”
“I understand that. But why married? You could have said siblings instead.”
“The thought never crossed my mind.” He shrugged. “Too late now, wife.” He smiled sardonically at me.
“Fine. But I get the bed. You can sleep on the floor.”
“Sleeping on the floor doesn’t bother me. I’m not soft.”
Oh, he did not just say that. “Neither am I.”
“You’re the one who needs a bed.” His eyes sparkled with amusement. He was teasing me. Actually joking around and enjoying himself. I was too stunned to reply.
After we finished eating, we grabbed our sacks and started to head upstairs.
“Will you be joining us tonight?” Matilda asked, before we got too far.
“For what?” Anders inquired.
“It’s the end of the harvesting season,” she said. “Most everyone will be here celebrating. You two should join us. It’ll be a mighty fun time.”
“We’ll see,” he replied, taking my arm and leading me the rest of the way upstairs.
“That was nice of her to invite us,” I said as we stopped before the second door on the right. The hallway was bright since there was a clean window at the end of it, so unlike the apartment building I grew up in.
“I wonder when Jorn will be here,” Anders mused. “By the time a messenger reaches her, it may be too dark for her to send Jorn to fetch us.”
He opened the door, and I stepped inside. A single bed took up the majority of the space. Anders went over to the window. “Stay here. I’ll be back in a little bit.”
“Where are you going?” I closed and locked the door, dropping my sack on the floor. I rested my bo staff against the wall.
“To snoop around the village. Make sure it’s safe. Don’t talk to anyone. Don’t leave this room. Understood?”
I wanted to clobber him.
“Kaia—I’m serious. It’s not that I don’t think you’re capable of taking care of yourself. I can’t investigate if I’m worried about you.”
“In that case, I agree. I’ll stay here and rest while you’re gone.”
He opened up the window, climbed outside, and jumped to the ground below, dashing away before anyone saw him.
I had the entire room and a warm basin of water all to myself. Stripping off my dirty clothes, I cleaned myself up, taking my time to remove the caked-on dirt and mud from my hands and hair. When I finished, I put on my clean clothes and climbed onto the bed, snuggling with the blankets.
✧
“Kaia,” Anders whispered in my ear, waking me.
Music pounded from below the dark room. “Guess the celebration has begun,” I mumbled, sitting up and rubbing my eyes. There was just enough moonlight to reveal Anders sitting on the bed next to me. How long had I been asleep?
“I’m going to attend for a little bit in order to meet more of the locals. Do you want to come or would you rather sleep some more?”
“I’ll come.” Standing, I stretched. “How did your snooping go?”
“I didn’t discover anything alarming if that’s what you’re asking.” Anders lit a candle. “You need to change. All the women downstairs are wearing dresses. You’ll stand out, and we don’t want to bring more attention to us than necessary.”
“By now the entire town probably knows I’m a Kriger. Word must travel fast in a place as small as this.”
“No one knows,” he said. “The innkeeper must not have told anyone.”
Curious. Still, Anders and I were strangers, and people would be watching us. “I didn’t bring a dress.” I headed for the door.
Anders stepped in front of me, blocking my path. “Wait.” He reached down and picked something up.
I groaned. “What is that?”
He tossed it to me. Catching it, I held up a thin, brown dress similar to what many commoners wore. I hated dresses. They were restrictive and uncomfortable.
“You’re not coming unless you put that on.” Standing in front of the door, Anders turned so his back was to me.
After rolling my eyes and cursing the dress, I changed, eager to join the celebration. “Done.”
Anders faced me. “You look like a respectable farmer’s daughter.” He smirked. I punched his shoulder and stepped out into the hallway.
“Have you been to a celebration before?” he asked. I shook my head. There had never been anything worth celebrating in the capital. “Then you’re in for a treat.” He took my hand and led me down the stairs.
People crowded into the main floor of the inn, filling the entire space. A group of five men stood on a raised platform in the corner of the room, playing lively music. The tables had been pushed to the edge of the room to afford more space. The people assembled ranged in age, most everyone dancing with a partner. I clutched Anders’s warm hand as he wound his way between the crowd.
“This is a basic two-step country dance,” he shouted in my ear, so I could hear him over the music. “Watch my feet.”
He wanted to dance? With me? In front of all these people?
“Ready?” He looked expectantly at me.
I shook my head—no, I was not ready. I’d only danced once before, and that had been in the cave after we rescued the Krigers. A woman to my right bumped my shoulder as she spun around. Her feet moved back and forth with the music. How did she know what to do?
Anders grabbed my chin, forcing me to focus on him. “Don’t look at anyone else right now,” he said. “Pretend it’s only you and me in this room.” He put his hands on his hips and motioned for me to do the same. The sight of an assassin standing before me ready to dance made me laugh. He raised his eyebrows, waiting for me to put my hands on my hips and join him.
I decided to do as he said and pretend it was only the two of us. Dancing. When I was in the correct starting position, he moved to the right a step, to the left a step, and clapped his hands four times. His sleek, graceful body moved as if he’d done this dance a thousand times. I imitated him. After doing the sequence twice, he spun and took two steps back, two steps forward, and clapped again. The stepping and clapping matched the music, and it started to come naturally to me. I couldn’t help but smile as I danced among the strangers, celebrating alongside them.
“Well, look at you!” Anders chuckled. “You fit right in with all these country folk, dancing like you’ve been doing this all your life.” Everyone in the room danced the same dance, and the excitement was contagious.
I laughed and continued with the steps, trying to make sure my body moved in the right direction, so I didn’t knock someone over. When the song ended, everyone stomped on the floor and cheered. The musicians started playing another tune.
“Everything will be a variation of those steps,” Anders said. “Just watch what the others are doing, and you’ll get it.”
By the third dance, I easily kept up with everyone. When the fifth one started, sweat coated my forehead. “Is it me, or are the songs getting faster?” Not that I minded, it just made the moves a bit more challenging.
“As the night goes on, you’ll notice things getting crazier.” He smiled and winked, making me
forget the steps for a moment. I’d never seen him so… happy.
“Don’t stand there, wife,” he said, clapping to the beat. “Move that body of yours!”
I’d never seen this carefree side of Anders. It was dangerous because it made me like him even more. Joining in the dance, I lifted my skirt up a few inches so I could do the stomping part without tripping on the material. The music turned frantic, and all the men in the room clapped along with the beat. The women threw their arms up in the air while spinning in a circle. I did the same, and a sense of freedom filled me. When the music stopped, Anders wrapped his arms around my waist, steadying me. I’d never let loose like that before—it was invigorating.
Matilda walked through the room, carrying a tray of drinks. She passed by Anders, handing him two. He gave one to me. I downed the ale.
“Slowly,” Anders warned. “This is some strong stuff. If you aren’t accustomed to drinking, it’ll knock you off your feet!”
“I’m fine,” I slurred.
After the cups were taken away, the dancing resumed. The room seemed hotter than before. Feeling lightheaded, I stopped dancing. Anders’s brown eyes bore into mine. Instinctively, I leaned toward him, wanting to feel his skin against mine.
His lips hovered near my cheek. “I wish whatever is blocking magic blocked curses too,” he mumbled sadly, closing his eyes.
The alcohol blocked all common sense and reason. My body took over, my hands sliding around his neck. I turned my head, tilting my lips to his. In that moment, I didn’t care about curses or duty. I wanted to kiss him.
He abruptly took a step away from me, his eyes wide with shock, and his hands shaking. “I’m sorry.” He hurried past me, shoving between the patrons as he left the room.
I stood among the crowd of happy, dancing couples, the noise, smells, and heat crashing into me. What had I just done? Staggering, I made my way to the door, throwing it open and storming outside into the chilly night and pouring rain. Wanting to get away, I sprinted down the street, my dress now soaking wet. Mud covered my boots and hem. I didn’t care. I had thrown myself at Anders, again, and he turned me down. I was so incredibly stupid.
I ran down the main road littered with puddles. There was nowhere to go. Nowhere to hide.
“Kaia,” a husky voice said. I stopped and turned around. Anders stood a few feet away from me, drenched from the rain.
Had he been following me? “I want to be alone.” The cold air whipped around my body, and I started shivering.
He took a tentative step toward me. “I need to get this out, so don’t interrupt.” He moved closer until we were only a foot apart. I didn’t want him to see me like this—crying like a silly girl over him. At least my tears mixed with the rain, making it hard to tell them apart. His chest rose and fell. Rain beat down on our bodies. “If things were different, I could see myself loving you.”
Anders didn’t have to justify his actions to placate me. He was entitled to his own opinions and feelings—even if they differed from mine. We had nothing to discuss. In the future, I would make sure not to put myself in a situation where my emotions could overwhelm me. I turned to go, but he grabbed my arm.
“I’ve already fallen for you,” he admitted.
I’d wanted to hear those words for weeks now. Wanted to know that he cared for me as much as I cared for him. Hope and joy filled me. Rain continued to patter on the road and buildings around us.
“But I’m bound to Vidar,” he explained, deflating me with those words. I wanted to scream and tear the curse apart. It defined my future, making it seem as if I had no choice.
I tilted my head back, letting the rain cascade down my face, washing away my tears. There was no use crying over things beyond my control. I was a puppet in a play put into motion over a hundred years ago, and I had my part to perform.
“And… and you have to conceive a child with another man.” Anders released my arm and took a step away from me. “How can I love you and watch you be with someone else? Just the thought makes me sick.”
It felt as if he’d punched me in the stomach. Only, his words were more potent than his fist.
I turned and headed back toward the inn.
“Aren’t you going to say something?” he called after me.
I stopped but refused to turn around and let him see the hurt, betrayal, and disappointment on my face.
“What are you thinking? Talk to me,” he prodded.
A laugh escaped me. He wanted me to talk to him? Now? After everything he’d said to me? I’d been trying to get him to open up for weeks. Instead of talking to me, he’d kept everything inside until now. Now, when he’d said so much with so little regard for my feelings. “There isn’t anything to say. You’ve already made up your mind without even talking to me.” The thought of me being with another man disgusted him. Did he once stop to consider what it would be like for me to be intimate with someone I didn’t love? Did he ever stop to consider my thoughts and feelings on the matter? It sure didn’t feel like he had.
Even though I felt weak right now, I could pretend to be strong. I walked away from Anders, holding my head high with as much dignity as I could muster. My choices were limited, but I would end the curse, no matter the personal cost. The people of Nelebek deserved it.
✧
The early morning sunlight poured into my bedchamber at the inn. Someone knocked on the door. Throwing off the blankets, I slid out of bed as a piece of paper flew underneath the door, coming to a stop next to my bare feet. I picked up the paper and read it.
Jorn is downstairs waiting for you.
I quickly dressed and pulled on my boots. After grabbing my sack and bo staff, I ran downstairs, all the while wondering, and desperately trying not to care, where Anders had gone last night after I left him standing alone in the middle of the street in the pouring rain.
A young boy of about twelve, with unruly red hair, stood near the front door of the inn.
“Are you Kaia, the Kriger?” he asked as I approached.
“Yes. I assume you’re Jorn?”
“I am. My grandmum wants to see you.” He sprinted out the door to a waiting horse. Jorn climbed onto the saddle. “Hop on.” He waved me closer. “The man you’re traveling with went to fetch another horse. He’ll join us shortly.”
“Did you speak with him?” I asked.
“I did. Found him sitting by the front door of the inn, waiting for me.” He held the reins loosely, at ease atop the animal.
“Why does your grandma want to speak to me?” My gut told me to go with Jorn; however, my head yelled at me to make sure this wasn’t a trap.
“She told me she knew your parents, and she has the answers you seek.” He scratched his head. “Are you coming or not 'cause I still got to do my chores.”
His grandma knew my parents? That was more than I dreamed of. “I’m coming.” The horse whinnied, making me jump. I’d never been on a horse before and had absolutely no idea how to ride one. “I can walk.”
“It’s thirty miles away.”
I chewed on my lower lip and neared the horse just as Anders, sitting atop a large, brown mare, rounded the corner, heading toward me. When he neared, he slowed the horse and reached down, taking hold of my arm and swinging me up on the saddle behind him before I could object.
“You were right, Jorn,” Anders said. “That man did provide a good horse at a decent price.” The horse pranced about, and I clutched onto Anders for dear life. I couldn’t believe I was on a horse. My arms and legs shook. “Ready?” he asked.
“No,” I shouted. If I fell off, the ground was a long way down.
Anders laughed. “Hang on!” He nudged his horse, and the animal took off.
✧
The horse pounded alongside the cornfield and into the valley. Wind rushed past, whipping my hair every which way. I gripped Anders’s waist tighter, hoping I didn’t topple off the animal. Jorn rode next to us, completely at ease.
Anders’s body shook. “
Are you laughing at me?” I asked, appalled that he thought my utter terror was something to scoff at.
“No, never,” he yelled over his shoulder.
I pinched his side, and he laughed again.
“Would you be more comfortable sitting in front of me?” he asked.
“I’m fine here, thank you.” I preferred holding onto Anders rather than the horse. Besides, my sack and bo staff were attached to my back. Feeling my weapon provided a measure of comfort.
As we rode, I wanted to ask Anders where he’d gone last night but decided against it. It was best burying the topic of last night. Instead, I needed to focus on meeting Jorn’s grandma and seeking answers about the curse—especially with regards to having to bear a child. Anders and I were just friends. Any feelings beyond that had to be stifled.
After several miles, Jorn led us to a stream. Anders helped me dismount so the horses could drink.
My legs wobbled when I stood on the ground.
“You’ll need to ride with Jorn for a bit,” Anders informed me. “My horse needs a break.”
“I’ve been riding all my life,” Jorn assured me. “You’ll be safe with me.”
I ground my teeth together—he was at least four years younger than I was; yet, he felt the need to reassure me as if I were a helpless child. The horse whinnied, and I jumped. Anders chuckled. When I glared at him, he quickly mounted before I could hit him. Jorn awkwardly helped me swing my leg over his horse, and then climbed on in front of me.
We rode through the valley, the sun high in the sky above us. The valley of Berg—just like the poem mentioned. I’d managed to memorize it:
Lying beyond
In the valley of Berg
Next to the blue anemones
Near where the lakes converge
Every answer will be had
At the foot of the rock
To keep my mind off the large animal I currently sat astride, I sang the words in my mind. Then, to mix it up, I took the first word of each line and sang them. Lying, in, next, near, every, at. Out of boredom, I decided to only focus on the first letter of each word: L, i, n, n, e, a.
Burning Shadows Page 13
