Quarantined With My Straight Roommate

by Charlie Chubb

“Why?”

  “It freaks me out when you start… emoting. Isn’t that against Texas State Law?”

  “We ain’t in Texas. We’re in Boston.”

  “We already talked about this, Tony. We aren’t right for each other.”

  “Why not?”

  “I know you’re like, the standard of hotness for both men and women, and lucky fucking you, but I want more than a hot guy.”

  “Ouch. You weren’t kidding about the ego boost.”

  I scowled and slung my legs over the bed. Fuck. I could feel myself getting mad at him again. Max’s ability to piss me off was legendary.

  “Fuck,” I groaned, “I’m fucking tired of pouring my heart out to you. Do you not feel anything for me? Do I have you entirely fucking wrong? Because you keep coming around. You keep letting me in. You keep acting like you give a shit about who I am and what I’ve been through. You say I keep my feelings to myself, but I’ve been honest with you. I’ve told you how I fucking feel time and time again. You’re the one who’s closed off.”

  “Tony…”

  “Get out of here, Max. I need some fucking space.”

  32

  MAX PATEL

  I’M SORRY. LET’S TALK.

  — Max

  I slipped the note under his door, hoping he’d find it and come to my bedroom. I missed him. And I hated how our last conversation ended, even if it was totally my fault. Fuck. I can’t seem to stop fucking up with him. He was right. Being “just friends” was a stupid fucking idea. Staring into his gorgeous green eyes while he pressed me into his bed made me realize that.

  Tony wasn’t there all day. I woke up in the morning and he was mysteriously gone. Quarantine was over. But we had a deal, right? I hoped our fight wouldn’t impede us living together. I hated to admit it, but… I needed him. And needing him made it so fucking hard. He thought I didn’t care about him? Bullshit.

  I grabbed some of Tony’s weird ass protein powder from on top of the fridge and blended it into what would have been a delicious mango smoothie. Ew. He drank that stuff every day for what? So he could have muscles? Maybe there was something to it. Tony was ridiculously hot. The doorbell rang. Okay... Not like Tony.

  I yanked the door open and saw her. That girl who walked in on us. Kylie.

  “Where’s Tony?”

  “Uh, he’s not here. Do you two have a date?”

  She scowled, but I couldn’t wipe the smirk off my face. Standing up to my sister was hard, but Kylie was basic, and the type of girl who it would be easy to put in her place.

  “We don’t have a date. But you can wipe that stupid smile off your face because I will show you something about Tony that will totally fuck you up.”

  “Listen, Kylie… You and I are not friends and frankly, I don’t care what you think you have to show me about Tony.”

  “You haven’t seen what I have.”

  “Yeah, and I don’t care.”

  “Aw, sorry to burst your bubble, but Tony isn’t Mr. Innocent. He’s a liar and I will expose him for what he really is.”

  “Why? Like no offense, but why do you care? He doesn’t want you. You’re not my type, but you’re cute. I’m sure there’s some daddy’s money Harvard grad who would want to date you.”

  “Don’t talk down to me. Did you know that Tony Stone has an entire alter ego?”

  “Um... okay?”

  Yeah, it’s called being in the closet. Not an “alter ego” so much as “the world is too fucked up to let me live in peace”. It isn’t exactly the same thing.

  Kylie whipped out her giant cellphone bedazzled with rhinestones and tapped away at it with her French tips until she pulled up a photo.

  “Fuck!”

  “It’s an escort site,” she explained, like I couldn’t see the glaringly obvious truth, “He has a profile up there looking for sugar daddies for sex. I mean, his parents are rich, what kind of fucking freak is he? Like you seem like a pleasant guy and he already played me. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

  “You told Tony you wanted to watch us have sex. Excuse me if I don’t believe you care.”

  “Is that what he told you? Listen, I told him to tell you the truth about the escorting. Sad that he had to make something up. But not surprising. He’s a tool. You know what, the stereotype isn’t true. Gay guys aren’t nicer.”

  Since when was that a fucking stereotype? I don’t think I’ll ever understand straight people...

  “Sorry to disappoint you.”

  “I mean, aren’t you disturbed?”

  “It’s just a stupid website.”

  Kylie smirked.

  “If he doesn’t bother you that your new man is a liar and a hooker, I can’t help you, but you should probably also see this.”

  She swiped a couple times and pressed play.

  “OH GOD! OH GOD! GIVE IT TO ME!” blared from her phone.

  “What the fuck!? Is that porn?!”

  “Yes. Tony’s really good in bed. Is he like that with you?”

  “Turn it off, Kylie.”

  “Are you bothered?”

  “Shut it off!”

  “Oops. Looks like there’s trouble in paradise. Well, I’m done with Tony and I have no reason to talk to him anymore. You know the truth. My work here is done.”

  Kylie left and suddenly the protein in my smoothie tasted grainier and more disgusting. Fuck. How did Tony eat this shit. I sent out a few more job applications at the kitchen counter and waited for him to get back. I couldn’t focus on work. Every minute that passed, I got more pissed off with him than before. Porn. He did porn. There was plenty of time for him to bring up the fact that he used to be a hooker who did porn, for Christ’s sake.

  He fucked me raw. He came inside me. I trusted him to be honest about his past and he lied.

  “I’m going to be sick…” I muttered.

  Tony pushed the front door open.

  “Hey, Max.”

  “What the fuck, Tony.”

  “What?”

  “Kylie stopped by.”

  “Okay. What did she want?”

  “That’s all you have to say for yourself?”

  “Listen, Max. I don’t have time to deal with this right now.”

  “Sorry, Tony. I know you’re the world’s busiest man, but I want an explanation as to why Kylie came into this apartment and showed me your profile on an escorting site and a video of you pounding some guy’s ass raw.”

  “Fuck.”

  “Fuck?! Is that your idea of an answer or an explanation? You did porn. You had raw sex with strangers! How do I know you haven’t given me some fucking disease?!”

  “Jesus, Max. Calm down.”

  “Don’t tell me to calm down! I mean, are you even... like, have you even been tested recently? Fuck.”

  “Max. I promise you, we can talk about this later. I can’t do this right now. Seriously.”

  “What the fuck is so important?!”

  “My dad. He relapsed. He’s in the hospital here. I don’t know what happened. I… I was telling him about me and everything with us and he... he had a fucking heart attack.”

  33

  TONY STONE

  “I’m a fucking dickhead.”

  “Yeah. You are.”

  “Do you want to go to the hospital?”

  “Max, I don’t think you get it. I’ve been exposed to him. So have you. So has my mom. We have to go back into quarantine for fourteen days to make sure we aren’t sick.”

  “You’re fucking joking.”

  “I wish I was.”

  “This may be the worst time to bring this up but… when Kylie came over here, she showed me pictures of you. On an escorting site.”

  Fuck. That lying bitch promised me she wouldn’t fuck me over. I guess it was my fault for trusting her. Or trusting that I got rid of her. God fucking damn it. You can’t get rid of crazy. My fists clenched, and I slammed my hat on the counter. Fuck. Could the timing on Kylie’s little venture to expose me have come
at a worse time?

  “I don’t want to talk about that right now.”

  “I get it, but I want answers eventually, Tony. You lied to me.”

  “I didn’t lie.”

  I only neglected to mention some more embarrassing shit I did in college. Look, what the hell did it have to do with Max? I didn’t need to listen to him tapping his stupid fingernails on the counter, mouthing ‘whatever’ at me and judging me for every dumb thing I did when I was 19. I was fresh off a heartbreak. Confused. Fucked up. Tired of fitting into a million fucking boxes. Tired of hiding who I was. Tired of people telling me I had to find love with the same guys my age who made my life a living hell.

  “Are you joking?”

  “It’s none of your fucking business.”

  “We had sex. With no condoms. I think it was my business that you were a HOOKER.”

  “I was not a hooker!”

  “You expect me to believe that you what? What did you fucking do, Tony? You did PORN.”

  “My dad is in the fucking hospital. I don’t want to fight about this.”

  I stormed off and slammed the door to my bedroom. Fuck. Don’t cry. Don’t fucking cry like a bitch, Anthony. I slammed my fist into the wall and screamed. I expected Max to yell at me to shut up or something, but he said nothing. That made it worse. It was my fault dad keeled over. My mom warned me not to tell him. Fuck. Logically, I knew I couldn’t blame myself for my dad having a heart attack. But the timing couldn’t have been any worse. Way to fucking go. My mom probably took it as a sign that my ‘life of sin’ had come back to curse the family. Fuck.

  Don’t cry, Anthony. Don’t fucking cry. I glanced at my phone to see a text from my mom.

  Mom: It’s not entirely your fault.

  Great. So it was only half my fault that my dad dropped like a fucking stone the second I told him “I like men”. Fuck... I threw my phone across the room. But I couldn’t stay in bed for long. Within a couple hours of trying to sleep and failing miserably, I needed more... I crept out of my room and pushed Max’s door open.

  He never locked his door. I slid into bed next to him, wrapping my arms around him. He tightened his shoulders and relaxed his body into mine. Holding him like that, the temptation to slip his underwear around his ankles and enter him crossed my mind. My hands clawed around his shoulders and I couldn’t move. I couldn’t do anything except hold him. He was asleep anyway. He wouldn’t want me to wake him up for a quick stress-relief, fuck.

  We’d fucked for the last time, anyway. And the look on his face when he confronted me... Fuck. We definitely would never have sex again. I screwed that up. Every fucking part of my past followed me wherever I went. Maybe my mom was right. Maybe there was something wrong with me. Maybe guys like me don’t get a happy ending. I clutched Max, enjoying his warmth and his firmness and his bottom tucked and nestled against my crotch.

  I closed my eyes, thinking it would be easier to fall asleep next to him. But Max wasn’t asleep.

  “You okay?” he murmured.

  “No,” I whispered back, after a lengthy pause.

  I buried my nose in his hair. I could hardly make out his hair in the dark, but the smell hit me and made me want to taste him.

  “I’m sorry for fighting,” he said softly.

  “It’s my fault. I fucked up.”

  “Yeah. You did. But that’s not important.”

  He turned around and pressed his forehead against mine. I opened my eyes as they adjusted to the darkness in his bedroom.

  “This isn’t easy for me to say, Tony.”

  “What isn’t? That I’m a dirty whore? That I’m a fucking dumbass?”

  “No,” he whispered, his hands cupping my cheek, “I love you.”

  My throat tightened. No. Now was the worst time to find out he loved me. I needed him to love me. I wanted him to love me. But I’d never felt more unlovable. I broke. I couldn’t hold back for a minute longer. Max loved me. And I wanted it to feel right, but a guy like him loving a broken motherfucker like me felt wrong. I tried to stop the gross half-sob from escaping my lips but I failed and Max’s arm wrapped around me and I pressed my head against his chest and for the first time in a long fucking time I let go and cried.

  Max held me with both arms and whispered, “It’s okay, Tony. I’ve got you. I’ve got you right here.”

  And no one had ever been that gentle with me. Not even Tom. Not my parents. Nobody. Nobody understood what it was like to have the world collapsing around them the way he did. He’d been through it: the whole parents finding out thing. The mixture of relief and anguish. The release of tension. The bubbling emotions that frothed and churned inside you, making you feel like a fucking failure of a guy for giving in to them.

  “I’m sorry,” I choked, “I’m so fucking sorry for being a dick.”

  He didn’t respond for a moment. He just held me. And he let me cry.

  34

  MAX PATEL

  He bawled. Hard. Holy fuck, is this what pent up sadness looks like when it finally erupts? Phew. Trust me, I spent my entire childhood being called a “crybaby” so I wouldn’t know a damn thing about pent up. I think I was being comforting to him. But whatever, how am I supposed to know. Dude needed to cry, so I let him cry. That’s what happens when you’re an idiot like me and you fall for a Texan dickhead, too high-strung to realize that sometimes you need to let it fucking out. I didn’t stop wanting answers about the porn and escorting. You can’t just cry your way out of that. But my guess was this was more likely about Tony’s dad. Fucking hell. Daddy issues. We all have them, right?

  I tilted his chin up to meet mine and kissed him. The way he kissed me back made me hard. Instantly. Fuck. What’s wrong with my brain, that vulnerability and one excellent kiss is enough to get me stiffer than a winter breeze. Tony ran his hands over my face and murmured, “I’m too fucked up for you.”

  “You’re the perfect amount of fucked up. I don’t think I’ll ever get bored.”

  “Thanks for the compliment.”

  “It wasn’t a compliment.”

  “I know, idiot.”

  “Hey, this is the idiot you love.”

  Tony groaned, “I’m regretting saying that.”

  “You don’t mean that.”

  “I don’t. Did you mean it?”

  “Duh! Do you think I told you I loved you because I felt bad?”

  “No.”

  “Exactly. I love you. I know we never dated and this quarantine thing is super fucked, but... I don’t know. I’m going with the flow.”

  “And I’m a sucker for dudes who dress all goth or whatever.”

  “I don’t think there are goths anymore, Tony.”

  “So what are you then, a hipster?”

  “I’m yours.”

  Tony punched me in the stomach.

  “Ow! What the fuck was that for?”

  “For being corny…”

  I deserved it. He was right. But then he kissed my cheek.

  “Just so you know,” he whispered, “I never want you to stop being corny.”

  “And I never want you to stop being a Texan pain in my ass.”

  “Deal.”

  Okay. I don’t think anyone in my life would ever let me live it down if I didn’t clarify that ‘deal’ meant we were in a relationship. No great relationship ever started by two guys making fun of each other and then saying ‘deal’ like this was a fifth grade pinky promise.

  “So to clarify... what does that mean?”

  Tony kissed me on the cheek again.

  “It means we see where things go.”

  Oh. See? So no relationship. Fuck. Luckily it was too dark for him to see how flushed my cheeks got.

  “I can practically hear you silently freaking out,” he muttered, “No relationship yet. To be honest… I owe you an explanation.”

  “You cried in my arms, I think we can take a rain check for talking about your gay porn career.”

  “It wasn’t a career.” />
  “Ouch. Were you not good?”

  Tony foisted his weight onto me and pinned me down with his hips. He ran his tongue along my neck and whispered in my ear, “I’ve fucked you before. What do you think, Patel?”

  Fuck. That horny little Texan knew exactly what to say to make me rock fucking hard and to get me horny enough to let him use my body as his personal sex toy. My heart pounded, and I tried to wriggle free, but when Tony wanted me pinned to the bed, it didn’t take much for him to keep me there.

  “Where’s your lube?” he whispered.

  “Nightstand. And condoms?”

  “Fuck, Max. I’ve been tested in the past few months. I’m good, okay? It was one fucking video.”

  There was the asshole I knew I loved…

  “Okay, chill. I had to check.”

  He silenced more of my commentary with a deep kiss and as he pushed his tongue into my mouth. No more talking. Just fucking. He grabbed the lube and ushered me out of my boxers. His bare chest pressed against mine as he pinned me to the bed and slapped a thick spurt of lube against my backdoor.

  “After I fuck you, I’ll have you begging me to let you cum.”

  He pressed the tip of his well-hung cock against my ass and I braced myself for the initial burst of pain and the inevitable waves of pleasure that would come from Tony fucking me hard with all his intense repressed emotional energy. I don’t care what anyone says, filthy fucking hot, emotional sex is the best kind. And we may not have had the best day together, but we’d make up for it with raw animal fucking.

  Tony grabbed my hips and pushed into me with a single thrust. I cried out and dug my nails into his back as he rutted inside me. His cock stretched my backdoor, forcing my satiny entrance to tighten around his cock as he used my ass. He groaned as he pumped into me deep and I grabbed his face and kissed him as he buried his dick in my ass. My cock stiffened, lying flat and engorged against my stomach, frustration and pleasure building in my ass as he pounded me. Our lips locked again, and I cried out, moaning into Tony’s mouth and driving him wild as he fucked me harder.

  Tony fucked me hard until he came inside my ass and I cried out as his cock throbbed and he filled me with his seed. He collapsed on top of me, cock buried in my ass and seed spilling out of his dick and I held him there, close, listening to his heartbeat, feeling his warmth. And never wanting to let him go.