When Dawn Breaks

by Melissa Toppen

  He’s doing what he always does—giving me reassurances without me ever having to ask. Because he too, understands me in a way that no one else ever has.

  I can’t remember a time when I’ve ever been so lost for words. Bree just laid her heart out—fuck, she laid her soul out in front of me, and I can’t come up with one damn thing worthwhile to say.

  So instead, I kiss her. I kiss her with everything that I have. I kiss her to show her I love her. I kiss her so she knows this changes nothing. I kiss her because I’m a selfish bastard, and I just need to feel connected to her; as if she’s the only thing that keeps me tethered to the earth.

  I’m hurt, confused, and angry. I want to hunt down the fuckers who did this to her and slit every one of their throats. But that won’t change what happened to her. I can’t fix it. I can’t make it go away. And that leaves me feeling powerless, a feeling I don’t deal well with.

  I hear the door open just as I pull back from Bree, only getting one last look into those tear-filled eyes before everything goes to hell.

  I know the second she looks toward the door who our audience is. I can tell in the way her body stiffens and how all the color drains from her face.

  “Court.” It’s almost a plea on her lips.

  And now I’m turning, releasing Bree who all but shoves out of my embrace. Courtney is standing in the doorway looking every bit like she’s seen a ghost.

  “Court, I can explain.” Bree takes a step toward her best friend, who seems to be teetering between anger and a state of absolute shock.

  “Explain?” Court’s eyes meet mine, and the hurt there is so evident it damn near knocks the wind out of me. “Bree, Ant?” She keeps her gaze focused on me. “Out of every girl in the fucking world—Bree?” Her voice bounces off the walls around us.

  “I’m sorry. We didn’t mean for you to find out this way.”

  “Are you fucking kidding me right now?” Her voice is shrill, eyes wild.

  “Court. Please. I can explain. Just give me a chance to explain.” Bree steps in front of me protectively.

  It’s strange. I want to tell her that I should be protecting her, but I also can’t deny how good it feels that her first instinct is to shield me from the line of fire.

  “So you’re the friend huh?” Courtney turns her sights on Bree.

  “Just give me a minute. I need you to let me tell you everything. Maybe then you’ll understand.”

  “Oh, I understand perfectly. I understand how my best friend has been screwing my ex behind my back for who knows how long. I understand that she lied straight to my face. I understand that she let me humiliate myself going on and on about Ant, all the while knowing that she was fucking him. I understand everything.” She grinds out the last part, her gaze honing in on me as she continues.

  “You fucking asshole. You fucking asshole.” She repeats louder the second time. “You two must think you’re really smart. Jesus Christ, I’m such an idiot.” She steps back, throwing her hands up in the air. “The signs were all there. All of them. But I chose to look past them. I chose to trust my best friend.” Her tear-filled gaze finds Bree again, and it takes all I have not to step in between them and shield Bree the same way she was willing to shield me.

  “I know how awful this is. I know,” Bree starts but Courtney instantly cuts her off.

  “You don’t know anything. You have no idea how this feels. And after everything, after everything we’ve been through together for you to lie to me. My God, Bree, this isn’t even about Ant. It’s about the fact that you were able to look me in the eye and lie to me. God, I thought we were closer than that. I thought we meant more to each other than that.”

  “We do,” Bree chokes.

  “No, clearly I don’t mean that much to you. I never would’ve lied to you. I never would’ve kept something of this magnitude from you, ever. Fuck, Bree, this is something I never in a million years thought we’d have to deal with. You were my sister.”

  “I am your sister.”

  “Not anymore you’re not.”

  And with that one statement, I feel Bree emotionally crumble next to me.

  “You two fucking deserve each other,” Court bites, eyes bouncing between the two of us before she abruptly turns and disappears down the hallway without another word.

  “Bree.” I catch her by the forearm just as she starts to go after her.

  “Let go of me.” She rips her arm out of my grasp and spins on me, her eyes so full of emotion it’s damn near crippling. “Did you see her? Did you see what we did to her?” She runs both hands through her hair and lets out a primal growl. “I have to go after her. I have to make sure she’s okay.”

  “Maybe you should give her some time?” I suggest.

  “No!” she practically screams in my face. “She’s my best friend. I have to make this right.” With that, she spins on her heel and takes off in the same direction as Courtney.

  I stand here for a long moment, not sure what the hell I should do. Do I go after her? Do I let them sort it out on their own? How can I just throw Bree to the wolves and let her face this alone? I did this. I put her in this situation. I’m the one who just couldn’t fucking stay away.

  Without another thought, I dart through the house in search of the girls. What I find instead is Vi and Crystal, my sisters, hunkered together in the kitchen having what looks like a very intense conversation.

  The moment I see them I want to spin around and run in the opposite direction, but I know it’s too late.

  “We need to talk.” Vi swivels toward me, saying the four words no man ever wants to hear.

  “Now’s not a good time,” I clip, looking past them through the back windows, trying to see if I can spot Bree or Courtney outside.

  “Well, make it a good time,” Vi demands, her gray eyes that match mine narrowing in on my face. “We just buried our father today, or do you need to be reminded of that fact?”

  “I’m here aren’t I?” I yell, my patience nonexistent by this point.

  “Not really, no,” she challenges, broadening her shoulders. “You’ve been anywhere but here,” she accuses. “You haven’t spoken two words to Mom, and you’ve barely said a hello to any of our relatives or dad’s friends.”

  “Maybe because I don’t want to say hello. Did you ever consider that? Fuck, Vi. I’m here. That’s the best I can give you. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have more pressing matters to deal with.”

  “More pressing?” It’s Crystal’s turn to chime in. The younger of the two sisters, Crystal is much more laid back than Vi, but push her far enough and she can be ten times more lethal too.

  “That’s what I said.” I move to push past the two of them, but Crystal steps in front of me.

  “More pressing than your mother ending up out on the street?” Now this gets my attention, and I stop my attempt to move and actually look at my sisters for the first time since stepping into the kitchen.

  “What the fuck are you talking about?” I question, not trying to hide my confusion. “I’m sure that asshole had some kind of life insurance policy. Besides, the house is paid for, is it not?”

  “He didn’t have life insurance.” Vi softens her approach. “He didn’t have much in the way of savings either. And you know he never wanted Mom to work.”

  “But she still gets the house. She’ll figure it out from there.”

  “He left it to you,” Crystal says, sending my head reeling in a completely opposite direction.

  “He did what?” I hear the words leave my mouth, but my brain does little to process it.

  “You get everything. He left it all to you,” Vi confirms.

  “How is that fucking possible? She’s his wife. I thought it defaults to her,” I object.

  “It does, unless the person instructs otherwise. Dad met with an attorney a few days ago, had some papers drawn up. None of us knew what he was doing until this morning when his attorney showed up and delivered the paperwork to Mom. She gets noth
ing.”

  “He left me the house?” I question, still not fully processing what the fuck is happening right now.

  “He left you the house,” Crystal confirms again.

  “Why the fuck would he do that?” I pinch the bridge of my nose between my thumb and index finger, taking a long inhale when I suddenly feel like I’m on the verge of collapsing from lack of oxygen.

  “Your guess is as good as ours. We figured maybe it was his last-ditch effort to make things right with you.” Vi reaches over and squeezes my forearm. “Maybe you should talk to Mom.”

  “I can’t right now, Vi.” I pull my arm away. “I… I have to find Bree.” I step past them through the kitchen, looking out the back door before turning around and heading in the opposite direction.

  “What about the house, Ant?” Crystal steps in front of me again as I move to exit the kitchen.

  “Mom can have it. She can have all of it. Just get out of my way,” I seethe, my temper flaring.

  “Just let him go,” Vi says seconds before Crystal steps out of the doorway to let me pass.

  I hear Vi say something else, but I’m too far out of earshot to hold onto her words. I feel bad. My sisters are the last people I want to alienate right now, but I just can’t fucking deal with this right now; not with everything else going on.

  He left the house to me?

  God, just thinking it makes me hate him even more. He thought he could buy my forgiveness? Fucking typical Aaron Treadway move; my God that man is a real piece of work. Was. I remind myself as I push my way out onto the front porch. Was a real piece of work. Fuck, it’s strange referring to him in past tense.

  But none of that matters the second I spot Bree on the sidewalk in front of the house. Every single thought goes spilling from my mind, and all I can see is her. All I can hear is her. All I can feel is her.

  And then her eyes meet mine, and I swear the entire world falls out from under my feet.

  I can’t look at Ant. I know he’s there, watching me, waiting, but I can’t look at him again. If I do, I’m afraid I will fall apart in the very place I stand.

  “Courtney, please, just talk to me,” I plead, keeping my focus on her. She’s been pacing in front of me for a good two minutes, refusing to even look in my direction.

  It isn’t until Tess comes running out of the house, face flushed, that she seems to snap out of her fog. She looks up at the porch where Tess is now standing with Sebastian and Ant and then back at me, realization dawning on her face.

  “You fucking knew?” she screams at Tess across the yard. “You knew they were fucking behind my back, and you didn’t tell me?”

  “She didn’t.” I move to defend Tess. “She didn’t know anything was going on between us beyond how I was feeling. I swear.”

  “Like I would believe a fucking word that comes out of your mouth ever again.”

  “Courtney.” Tess steps up next to her, voice soft and hesitant. “Maybe we should go somewhere, just the three of us. We can hash this all out without an audience.” She gestures to the handful of people standing near the driveway, one of them I’m fairly certain is Ant’s cousin who went to school with us.

  “I’m not going anywhere with her,” Court seethes, eyes on me like daggers.

  “Listen, you’re upset, I get it.” Tess steps directly in front of her. “But this is Bree. I know how much you love her and how much she loves you. You just need to hear her out.”

  “So you’re on her side then?”

  “I’m not on anyone’s side,” Tess objects.

  “Did he tell you the night we went to dinner that he kissed me?” She turns her attention to me, her words like a sucker punch to the stomach.

  “What?” I step back, eyes going to Ant who is crossing the yard toward us, to Tess who steps back and looks at Ant just as surprised; to Courtney who gloats like she just got the last laugh, back to Ant who doesn’t look at me even once.

  “Go ahead and tell her, Anthony. Tell her how you had your tongue in my mouth just hours before going home to her.”

  “Courtney. Don’t do this.” His response knocks through me even harder as he stops next to me.

  So he did kiss her?

  “She deserves to know. Considering she chose you over me, I guess it’s only fair that she sees now what she’s actually getting herself into.”

  “You kissed me,” he grinds out, rigid next to me.

  “Technicality,” she huffs. “You still kissed me back.”

  “Because you caught me off guard, and it took me a second to react,” he argues. “Why don’t you tell her what happened after that?” he suggests. “Tell her how I pushed you away. How I told you that I was into someone else. Don’t pick and choose what information to share. If you’re going to give her the truth, give her all of it.”

  “Like you gave me all of it?” She narrows her gaze at him.

  “I gave you the truth.”

  “Like hell you did.”

  “I simply omitted who it was; it was still true.”

  “Omitting the truth is the same as lying.”

  “Then I’m a fucking liar, is that what you want to hear me say?” I can tell by the strain in his voice that he’s losing his temper, but I’m too drawn into their argument to make any attempt to stop it.

  “Guys, maybe this isn’t the time,” Sebastian speaks for the first time, reminding us all why were actually here.

  I pause, realizing how right he is. We just buried his father hours ago, and now we’re all standing out here arguing like a bunch of teenagers.

  “He’s right,” Tess adds, resting her hand on Courtney’s shoulder who quickly shakes her off.

  “How long?” Courtney refuses to be deterred, shoving a finger in Ant’s chest as she steps up to him. “How long has this been going on?” she repeats.

  “Less than a month.” I finally chime in, immediately cut off by Ant’s next words.

  “Since high school.” Her gaze isn’t the only one to widen at his statement. I too, am now looking at him like I’ve never heard anything more shocking in my life.

  “What?” I hear myself say, not sure what the hell he’s talking about.

  “Her.” She points at me, seeming to put it all together at the same time I am. “She’s the girl you had feelings for.”

  “She didn’t know,” he quickly adds when Court’s gaze whips to me. “She had no idea. I never told her anything.”

  “So what then?” She refocuses on Ant. “You fuck me and then lust after my best friend at the same time? Was this part of your plan? Coming to California? Did you see this as your opportunity to finally make your move?” she spouts off, her voice borderline crazed.

  “Courtney,” Tess tries to object, but she’s not finished yet.

  “Figured you’d already fucked one of us might as well try out another one while you’re at it?”

  “I didn’t plan for this. I didn’t seek it out. It just kind of happened.”

  “It just kind of happened.” She mocks his voice. “Do you fucking hear yourself? So what’s next, you fuck her until you grow bored of her too?”

  “It isn’t like that.”

  “Then what’s it like, Anthony? Please, tell me. I really wanna know.”

  “I fucking love her.” The last shred of his temper snaps as his voice rips through the evening air.

  Courtney’s eyes immediately go wide, and she takes a full step back, eyes darting from me to Ant and then back to me before finally settling on Ant again.

  “You love her?” Her voice is weak, like this was the thing that finally made it real for her.

  “I do. I’m in love with her. We didn’t plan it. We didn’t set out to hurt you. But I can’t change the way it happened either.”

  “And you?” She looks at me, fighting off the tears welling behind her eyes. “Do you feel the same? Do you love him?”

  “Court,” I try to object.

  “Just answer the fucking question, Bree. Do you love h
im?”

  “Yes,” I manage to push out past the knot in my throat.

  “Well then, I guess there’s nothing really left to say.” She turns toward Tess. “Will you get me out of here please?”

  Tess nods, throwing me an apologetic look over her shoulder before leading Courtney to Sebastian’s car across the street. I watch the two duck inside and am still glued to the spot as they drive away moments later.

  “You okay?” I feel Ant’s hand on my shoulder and I jump, taking a full step back.

  “Don’t.” I shake my head, everything seeming to crash down on top of me all at once.

  “Bree?” he questions, hurt and confusion evident in his eyes.

  “Just don’t.” I shake my head again before spinning around and taking off down the sidewalk.

  I have no idea where I’m going. No real destination or purpose. I just know if I don’t get away from here right now I’m likely to do something I will regret. I hear Anthony holler after me, but to my relief, he doesn’t follow me. I guess it just goes to show how well he really does understand me.

  I’m just not sure how good of a thing that is anymore.

  “How is she?” I look up from where I’m sitting just as Tess approaches, hands shoved in the pockets of her jacket.

  I’m not sure how long I’ve been sitting here, on the steps of Tess’ childhood home, nor am I sure what exactly I’ve been sitting here waiting for. Anthony’s face flashes through my mind, and I have to forcefully swallow down the knot that forms in my throat.

  We’ve made such a mess of things, he and I. I just don’t know if I see a way past it without hurting Courtney more than we already have.

  Tess shrugs and slides down next to me, pulling her knees up to her chest. “She’s pretty upset.”

  “I’ve really screwed things up this time, haven’t I?”

  “I’m not going to lie, you really have.” She gives me an apologetic smile, angling her body toward mine. “I just don’t get what happened.” She lets out a slow breath. “The last time we talked I knew you were struggling with your feelings, but when did it escalate to this?”