Triquetra

by Marguerite Labbe

  “It’s impossible to go back to an original state.” His voice automatically settled into a mode I recognized from every professor I’d ever had. “That’s not how nature works. You’ll still have my memories; that can’t be erased. There will still be an echo of me inside you, but that’s all it will be: an echo. As for your physical abilities, your mental ones… I don’t know. I would think you’d retain a part of them but you might have to re-teach yourself.”

  I’d lived with an echo of him for months. At least this time I had a better idea of what I was getting into. It was better than nothing and it sparked an idea, though I couldn’t quite fully form it yet. So, I pushed it to the back of my head and figured I’d let it brew for a day or two. If I worried about it, I’d lose it altogether.

  Kristair laughed softly, and if he could’ve, I know he would’ve touched me then. “You and I are so different, mo chroí. How is it we fit so well together?”

  “Some things just are.”

  “You should get some sleep.”

  “So you keep saying. I’m wide awake though.” Well, at least my mind was. My body would love another few hours, but there was too much to think about. In less than a day my entire life had turned around again. At least this was for the better. I didn’t want to sleep and lose more precious hours.

  “I’m going to try to reschedule my doctor’s appointment tomorrow. At least now I can make sure he doesn’t hear a double heartbeat.” I scowled at his flicker of amusement. “It’s not funny.”

  “You’re right. I’m sorry. I promise to behave. Now will you sleep?”

  There was no way I could sleep now. Too much was running through my mind. “Do you think anything odd will show up in blood tests during my physical? Some kind of vampire gene mutation or something?”

  “I’m a librarian, not a scientist. How would I know? I think you’re safe. Your changes are more mind over matter than physical. They don’t have tests for psychic abilities, not yet at least.”

  “You’re awfully sexy for a librarian. We should sneak into your hidey-hole and do obscene things to each other there.”

  “Are you ever serious, Jacob?”

  “I am being serious. The scent of old books and sex.” I wanted it, even more so because Kristair was so adorably scandalized by the idea. “You know, you’re the only one who ever calls me Jacob. Not even my Ma does.”

  “Does it bother you?”

  “No. Somehow I can’t see you calling me Jake. It fits you….” I trailed off when I heard footsteps approaching my door. It was late enough that the sound of someone wearing shoes and not stumbling around drunk was odd enough to capture my attention. I gave the air a cautious, instinctive sniff. “It’s Tony.”

  Kristair nodded and disappeared. Then I felt him settle into his corner of my mind. I tugged on a pair of track pants as Tony knocked. When I opened the door, he raised an eyebrow. “You’re up late.”

  From what I could see, he seemed to have recovered from his ordeal earlier. In fact, there was an air of restless excitement about him. “What’s up, Tony? Or did you come by to stare at me half-naked again?”

  Tony gave me a light, playful shove as I stood aside to let him in. “Your ego hasn’t changed a damn bit. You still think everyone wants you.”

  “You mean they don’t? I’m crushed.”

  He laughed, then cast me a considering glance. “You’ve changed, since just last night. What’s going on?”

  “I’ve got a lot of things off my mind, dealt with some others, and been too busy to mope anymore. I think that’s plenty, don’t you?”

  “Yeah, guess so. There’s another thing you can stop worrying about while you’re at it.”

  “I’ll take anything I can get.” I gestured to a chair and sat down on the edge of my bed. “And since it’s after three in the morning, go ahead and spit it out. I have this nagging voice in the back of my head that keeps telling me I should be sleeping.”

  “I haven’t said a word yet.”

  “But you were thinking it—loudly.”

  Tony shook his head and remained standing. “I met with Ussier. They’re still hunting down rogue vampires and having a damn good time of it. He sent me to check up on you.”

  I had no doubt Ussier was as happy as an arsonist on Bonfire Night with all the cops busy in another town. The man had some serious bents, but at least he seemed stable. “How sweet. But that’s not why you’re knocking on my door.”

  “True. I figured I’d call, but I wanted to say this to your face.” I shifted and leaned against the headboard to stretch out as he moved about the room. I’d learned not to prod with Tony or else he’d change his mind and not say another word.

  He picked up the new country CD I’d bought a couple weeks ago, shook his head, and set it back down. “Don’t know how you can listen to that stuff.”

  “Try growing up in Louisiana and see what you listen to.”

  Tony grinned and it was infectious. I hadn’t seen him look like this in too long. “Lisabeth took off her spell.”

  “Really?” I didn’t think she’d do it. I’d hoped, but figured it was a long shot at best. “That’s good news.”

  “Ussier said you’d vouched for me and told him what happened in the tunnels.”

  “I thought it was worth a shot. He wouldn’t listen earlier without something to back it up. After everything you did to help us, I had to try. Does this mean you’re welcome in the city, free and clear?”

  “Yeah, it does.” Tony shoved his hands into his pockets. “If I want, I can stay here.”

  “Sounds like you’re not sure anymore.” I frowned; I liked the idea of Tony sticking around. Maybe one day, things would go back to normal.

  “Guess it’s like you said. You can never go back. Huh, Kristair?”

  “No, you can’t. Only it doesn’t mean you can’t find a new path together.”

  “Now who’s the philosopher?” I teased.

  “No, I do want to stay here. The last place I want to go back to is Rome, but this war isn’t finished and I think—no, I know—I need to see it through.”

  “Tony, there’s no damn rule that says you have to take on the Syndicate just because they took you in at one point. It’s not like you had much of a damn choice. You don’t owe anybody anything.”

  “So you keep saying, but if I see this through, then maybe I won’t have to look over my shoulder anymore, wondering when they’re going to retaliate. Then I can be free here in Pittsburgh.”

  “Tell me you at least have a plan, ’cause seriously, I’m not letting you leave without one.”

  “You won’t let me leave?” A little smile hovered over Tony’s lips. “And just how would you plan on stopping me, toolbox?”

  “I’d tell Steve,” I snickered. “Let him handle you.”

  “Bastard.”

  I laughed even harder at the genuine chagrin on his face. “Yeah, I know. It’s a part of my charm. Seriously, do you have a plan?”

  “Not yet, but I promise, I won’t do anything until I do.”

  “Ask him how many serve on the Syndicate’s Council.”

  Tony frowned at the question and then shrugged. “Seven. Well, actually six. They haven’t replaced Roland Montrose yet. There’s some in-fighting over his seat. Everybody wants it.”

  “The hydra,” Kristair said.

  “What? It’s too damn late at night for you to go all cryptic on my ass. Speak in full sentences.”

  “The hydra was a mythological creature with multiple heads. If you destroyed one head it still lived, spawning another two in its place.”

  I scratched my temple, trying to keep up with him. “Um, thanks for the mythology lesson. What does that have to do with anything?”

  “If Tony can get Ussier’s help, they can destroy the entire Council at once.”

  “Wouldn’t others just rush in to replace them? And be pissed off too.”

  I sensed Kristair’s sudden mental smile, a malicious glee in his tone. �
��Isn’t your friend here aligned with another faction who opposes the Council’s tactics?”

  I grinned. My lover was damned clever at times. “Okay, I’ve got something that just might work, but it’ll depend on your friends in Rome. Do you think they’d help?”

  “Depends on the plan. Shoot.”

  Quickly, I gave him an outline. He listened, his eyes narrowed, his lips pursed in thought. “If Ussier can find some people to help then I think I could convince them. I doubt they’d be willing to take on the risk alone, even though some of us have been pushing for a coup. But if we had some older vampires as allies, damn, I can almost guarantee it.”

  I began to get excited. This could really work. “Do you think Ussier would be interested in helping Tony?”

  “He’d consider it a good time. Trust me, leaving the country and blowing the Council to bits will seem like a vacation to him.”

  “Okay, here’s the deal, Tony. Why don’t you go talk to Ussier and lay it out for him? It should come from you rather than me anyway. The sooner we can take the Syndicate out the better.” I paused and winced, bracing myself for the coming firestorm. “And tell him I’m going with you.”

  “WHAT?” Kristair and Tony shouted at the same time.

  “Jake, it’s not your fight. Come on; be serious. You can’t walk into a vampire den, no matter what kind of badass abilities Kristair gave you. That would be insane,” Tony said as Kristair seethed.

  “I’m not talking about us going at it alone. Let me remind you that I’m a part of this too. I’m one of their targets and I’m going to see it to the end with you.” Kristair’s anger settled into a cold fury.

  “What happened to not wanting to be a part of the war?”

  “You don’t have to do this,” Tony argued. “You know, in order to fix things between us or some dumb-assed thing like that. We’re cool. Hell, you came back for me earlier and got Ussier to remove the spell. Dude, we’re cool. Stay in Pittsburgh.”

  “Like you said, if we do this, we won’t have to look over our shoulders anymore. You got into this mess ’cause of me, so we’ll get out of it together. Then neither of us will have to look back anymore.”

  I thought he’d argue more, but after a moment Tony grinned. “It’d be good to have you at my back. And to show my appreciation, you get to be the one to tell Steve what we’re doing.”

  “Thanks.” I grimaced. “Can we let him in on it after we get back from Rome?”

  “You’re out of your mind.” Tony shook his head and glanced out the window. “Sun’s gonna rise pretty soon. If I want to catch Ussier before then, I’d better get going. I’ll call you tonight and fill you in on what’s going on.”

  “Cool.” I ignored Kristair’s continued mutterings, rose, and held out my hand. After a moment, Tony clasped it with a roll of his eyes.

  “I’d give you a hug, but you’d probably consider it a come-on or something, freak.”

  I laughed and pulled him in for a hug anyway. It was so good to have my friend back. “You know, ever since you went all creature-of-the-night on me, I must admit you are sexier.”

  “Jackass.”

  “Dweeb.”

  I prepared myself for Kristair’s explosion as Tony left, but my lover remained quiet. That couldn’t be a good sign. He also didn’t reappear in the room after the door had closed as I’d expected. Instead, he remained in that corner of my brain. “Look, I know you’re pissed but I have to do this.”

  “Didn’t you get angry with me, this very evening, because I thought taking out the Syndicate was a priority?”

  “Yeah, but that was different.”

  “How was it different?” Kristair’s voice was icily precise in direct contrast to the hot fury I sensed lashing from him.

  “Because I’m not going to let myself get distracted from the goal. Besides, this time, thanks to you, we have a plan instead of just sitting back and waiting for them to come to us. I don’t want a long-drawn out mess. In and out, then it’ll be over with.”

  “I don’t want you going,” Kristair insisted.

  “That’s just too bad, isn’t it?”

  There was a very quiet pause and my lover’s temper sparked hotter. “It’ll be too dangerous.”

  “Earlier you argued that it was too dangerous to sit here and do nothing while they’re hunting me. Make up your mind.”

  “I didn’t mean for you to go chasing after them in their territory!”

  “You would. Why can’t I?” I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at Kristair in my thoughts since he wasn’t letting me do it in person.

  Kristair growled. He actually growled at me. “You don’t owe this to Tony, like he told you. Don’t go. You don’t belong in Rome. You shouldn’t be getting mixed up in the affairs of vampires.”

  I laughed and stripped out of my clothes again. “I can’t believe you’re seriously saying this. Damn, you haven’t been back a day and we’re already fighting.” At least no one was around to witness me talking to an empty room.

  “We’re making up for lost time.”

  “It’s not because I owe him. It’s because he’s my friend and he needs my help. Kristair, he’d never ask for it. Not now.” That shut him up, and my lover was quiet as I lay back down. As soon as I was settled under the covers, I sensed him rummaging around in my head, nudging. A yawn overtook me when he somehow triggered my brain to sleep. “What ya think yer doin’?”

  “You need to sleep.”

  Exhaustion rolled over me, driving me under. That sneaky motherfucker….

  Chapter 22

  “I CAN’T believe you pulled that shit on me again. Didn’t you swear you wouldn’t do that?” I complained as we walked down the hill on Lothrop Street.

  “I swore not to take away your will. Moving your brain into a sleep pattern is different. You’d had a long day, and what you’re planning is not going to make it any easier, especially if you keep this fool notion of going to Rome.”

  I couldn’t be irritated as much as I wanted. It had been the first good night of sleep I’d had in a very long time, plus my meeting with the doctor had gone well. I’d had to skip my statistics class to go, and hearing Kristair bitch about it had put me in a better mood. The test results from my physical would take a week, enough time to get me to Rome and back, if everything went well. Then I could play football again and put this all behind me.

  “You have a one-track mind, Jacob.”

  Kristair seemed more talkative today than normal. And his emotions kept swinging between skittish and awed. Every few minutes, he’d make my eyes jerk up to the sky where the sun was peeking out of the clouds. He was going to make me permanently cross-eyed if he kept it up.

  “Relax, love. It’s not like you’re a vampire anymore. You’re one of the big, bad Ascended, remember. You can go anywhere.”

  “I can’t erase two thousand years of instincts overnight.”

  “Thought you said it was all mind over matter.” I gave him a teasing poke. “Couldn’t you just will yourself to walk outside?”

  “You have to believe it. If there’s any doubt, it would be fatal. Not something I’d have been eager to risk. Besides, we know what happened when I realized the power I’d had. I think either way, we’d never hear from the vampire who tried that trick again.”

  “I get your point. Either you end up as a crispy critter or you’re snatched by the Ascended the moment you realize you’re a badass.” I paused then grinned again. “I bet you’d risk it under certain circumstances. Say, if Kayla was in trouble.”

  “True.”

  “You’d do it for me too.”

  “That’s debatable.”

  I laughed, warmed by Kristair’s surge of exasperated affection. “Yeah, I love you too, old man.”

  “The last time I saw the sun rise was the morning our raiding party left to destroy the Roman fort. It wasn’t much of a sunrise. The mists were heavy, blocking out everything behind a gray wall. It had burned off by noon, but I
wasn’t paying much attention. I was too busy.” Kristair’s voice became quieter in reflection. “I didn’t know it would be the last time I’d see it.”

  Abruptly, I was drawn into a memory so real I could feel the mist cooling on my skin as I ran through that ancient dawn. The air stirred and eddied around me, around the men I was running with, dark-eyed men covered in blue tattoos, many more extensive than my own.

  “Jacob!”

  “Sorry,” I muttered out loud and pulled myself out of the memory. It had been incredibly detailed, as if I’d actually been there.

  “It’s a part of the exchange I did with you. It’s how it works, how we share our memories so our history is not forgotten.” Kristair sounded shaken after his brush with his past.

  Why hadn’t I taken the chance to explore this before? I had all those months with this part of Kristair locked inside of me. All the questions about him I’d had harbored, who he’d loved before, how he’d ended up a vampire. And I’d ignored this gift.

  Once again, I found myself in the past. It was pitch black, one of those moonless nights, and patches of clouds obscured the stars. A beautiful monster swept down out of the sky and the screaming started. Hair-raising horrified screams as the night came alive and ripped open flesh. I was overcome with terror and rage as everything I knew fell down around me.

  “Please don’t, Jacob. Please.”

  I jerked myself out of the memory, ashamed by how lost Kristair had sounded. “I’m sorry, love. I had no right.”

  “The memories are now yours too. I just don’t wish to relive them again.”

  We both fell silent as I turned back toward campus. I supposed I should hit the rest of my classes, but I wasn’t in the mood to sit in on a boring lecture. What I’d like to do was lock myself away someplace private with Kristair for the next two weeks and ignore the entire world. But that wasn’t gonna happen anytime soon.

  “If you hurry, you’ll be back in time for your statistics class.”

  “You sound way too excited about it, Kristair, and that’s a little scary. I think I’ll grab something to eat instead. Maybe go by my favorite hangout.”