Baked with Love

by Erin Wright

  She dabbed at her eyes with her tissue and honked loudly again before continuing.

  “It was about six months later that I managed to make myself start participating in life again, even if it was in just little dribs and drabs. I would go for short walks around the yard. I would actually go down to the grocery store and go shopping, rather than have the store deliver the food to me.

  “And then…” She drew in a deep breath and sent Gage a forced smile. “One day, I decided to be truly brave and drive all the way up to Long Valley to go hiking in the Goldfork Mountains. I’d gone a few times with Hannah when we were at college together, and had just loved it. So on January 3rd, I hiked and then stopped in town to get a coffee at some bakery called the Muffin Man – you should check it out, it’s pretty great – but found a storefront next door to buy on the way over. Who finds a store on a whim?” She chuckled humorlessly. “It wasn’t part of the plan but honestly, I didn’t have a plan then, unless you could call ‘Putting one foot in front of another’ a plan. Or ‘Getting out of bed every single day before noon’ a plan. Then sure, I had a plan. But this store…it’s given me a reason to get out of bed every single day before eight, and I promise you, in my world, that’s a big deal.”

  They lapsed into silence for a minute, until Gage asked quietly, “Did you sell your parents’ house in Boise?”

  She nodded slowly. “The house, most of the items and furniture inside, and my parents’ vehicles. I have a storage unit filled to the brim with some sentimental stuff I couldn’t bear to part with, but even that is in Boise. I wanted my move up here to be a clean slate. Nothing holding me back. I was going to be New Cady – better than before. It was only an hour or two after I had that thought that I met this muscular baker who scared me shitless by sneaking up behind me – a real asshole, honestly.”

  Gage bust out laughing, laughing louder than he normally would have under different circumstances because Cady was making a joke. Listening to her make a joke just then…it meant everything.

  She was stronger than she realized.

  “Now hold on a good, long minute,” he protested when his chuckles finally died down. “I didn’t sneak up on anyone! I clomped around noisily in my work boots just like I always do.”

  “I wanted you fired for that,” Cady said dryly. “I was just sure that whoever owned the Muffin Man would see that interaction and fire your ass over it. I thought some old grandma owned the place.”

  “You thought I should’ve been fired because I recommended brownies to you?” he asked, horrified.

  “It was cream puffs,” she corrected him pertly, as if that were a very important fact indeed, “and I mostly just wanted you fired because you scared me, and in my mind at that moment…if you scared me, you were a bad guy and you deserved to be fired. And keep in mind, this was New Cady. Be really, really glad you never met Old Cady.” She sent him a self-deprecating smile as she said it.

  It was quiet between them again as Gage struggled to process everything Cady had just told him. Between the attempted rape by the football player and then the death of her parents – her only family…it was a wonder she managed to get out of bed at all. It would’ve been so easy to just hide from the world for the rest of her life, especially because of the large inheritance she’d received.

  Speaking of…a part of him understood why her parents chose to keep a large insurance policy on themselves, but a part of him…a part of him did not. They had good intentions, but wasn’t there that saying that the path to hell was paved with good intentions? That large chunk of change enabled their only daughter to withdraw from the world for a while and not have to deal with things like going to work and paying bills and simply being a part of society.

  If their house hadn’t been so close to a major airport, Cady would’ve wasted her life hiding in it. And what a waste that would’ve been.

  He did it then – what he’d been telling himself he absolutely could not do.

  He reached out for Cady, not to scrub dried paint off her nose or to hold her while she cried, but because he wanted to hold her…and kiss her.

  Time stopped as she looked at his outstretched hand, trying to decide if she’d take it or if she’d run away, and Gage worried that he’d pushed too hard, too fast, and she’d run now and never come back but before he could drop his hand down by his side and pretend as if he’d simply been wanting to stretch out his arm for no reason at all, she reached out with trembling fingers and clasped his hand in hers. Her fingers were tiny, as was the rest of her, but Gage knew that only a fool would think that her diminutive stature also meant that she wasn’t strong.

  Because she was, in every way that counted.

  He pulled her towards him slowly, his eyes boring into hers, asking without words, Do you want this? Are you ready?

  Biting her bottom lip, she took the last step to close the gap between them, answering his question without words, and the heat off her body was so hot, so delicious, it was hard to contain himself. He made himself move oh-so-slowly, though. He couldn’t startle her. Knowing her now like he did, he realized that she had every reason to be the way she was – to react the way she did – but that also meant that she would always be in the driver’s seat. He had to let her choose to move forward every step of the way, no matter how hard it was.

  He pulled her against his thighs, feeling her softness cuddle against him, her curves as perfect as a newly blossomed rose. They fit together, the two of them, despite how big he was and how small she was, or maybe it was because of that…

  He slid his hand into the thicket of her curls at the base of her neck, moving her, pulling her up to him as his lips finally met hers. She let out the tiniest of whimpers, her fingers grasping at him, hanging onto him for dear life, and he knew then that he was a goner. He wanted her to want him with all of her soul; he wanted her to want him like she wanted to breathe; he wanted her to want him as much as he wanted her.

  He scooped her up, wrapping her legs around his waist and carrying her to the counter, where he set her down on it, finally bringing them eye to eye. Things moved quickly after that, everything a blur of sensations and sounds and he found his fingers trembling as he stroked her soft skin and he didn’t know if he’d be able to contain himself or if he’d unman himself in front of her—

  There was something strange happening, though. Somewhere, far away but oh so persistent, there was a sound or a fear or—

  Feeling drugged, he forced himself to open up his eyes and pull away from the hollow of her neck where he’d been memorizing every dip and valley, forcing himself to look Cady in the eye.

  She was trembling too, but not from lust. Not like Gage was. Her eyes were wide with fear and she was pushing at him, pushing with all her might against his chest, and he realized then that this was what had been bothering him. She was so tiny compared to him, her attempts to push him away had felt like the beating of moth wings against his skin, at least through the haze of lust that had enveloped him. But now…

  Now he could see the panic in her eyes.

  He stepped back, holding his hands up in surrender, trying to calm his breathing, trying to will his dick back down. It was pushing against the zipper of his jeans and the exquisite pain of it was surely going to drive him insane.

  “You gotta go,” Cady said hoarsely, trembling, shrinking in on herself. “You got to…” Her voice broke and she was shaking so hard, he was sure she was going to fall off the counter. Instinctively, he reached out to steady her and she let out a little shriek of terror, batting at his hand, swatting him away.

  Like the flick of a light switch, the desire, the lust, the need to become one with Cady disappeared, his dick deflating like a balloon the day after a kid’s party.

  Seeing her react like this to him…

  Without a word, he spun on his heel and stomped towards his truck, anger radiating off him, hotter than the surface of the sun.

  He was done. He was done with Cady Walcott. He was done bei
ng dragged around by a ring through his nose. He was done having her look at him like he was just another asshole in the world. He’d given her another chance, another chance, another chance…

  Never again. He wasn’t going to deliver his heart to Cady on a platter again. She could take her and her bullshit ideas about men and life and go screw with someone else’s mind.

  He was done.

  Chapter 17

  Gage

  Gage peered at his iPad, propped up against a canister of cinnamon, trying to remember if he was supposed to beat the mixture until creamy or until crumbly. It was a new recipe and thus he didn’t have it memorized yet – just a test run to see if mint Oreos would work both in the crust and mixed throughout.

  As he concentrated, adding another dab of vanilla to the mixture and flipping the beaters back on, he felt the anger that had been throbbing through him the last week begin to ebb away, leaking out of him like air out of a tiny hole in a bike tire. Here, he was in charge. Here, he could make magic with his hands by pulling ingredients together that were heaven on the tongue, even if certain women thought he was nothing but a creeper with those hands and—

  He slapped at the switch, shutting the beaters back off, forcing himself to take a deep breath and then let it slowly back out, pushing the mounting anger back down again.

  It was fine. Here in his kitchen, he was in charge.

  Sugar was out front, taking care of the customers, and he was back here, by himself, happy and creating and letting loose in the best way possible. He had to stop letting Cady get under his skin like this. She was obviously unbalanced, and trying to make someone like that happy was impossible.

  He could stop driving himself insane, and just forget the smell of her hair and the feel of her lips already.

  He roughly stuffed handfuls of the mint Oreos into a gallon Ziploc bag until it looked like about the right amount, sealed it shut, and then picked up his favorite rolling pin. He should be better about measuring so he could recreate this recipe later if it ended up being a winner but he just wasn’t in the mood. Right then, he just wanted to create – to be free to work and not worry about every little thing. Not worry that he was making a mistake or scaring Cady—

  “Hi, Gage.” Cady’s voice forced its way through the haze of frustration and anger and his head snapped up, shock shooting through him. It couldn’t be—

  It was.

  Cady was in the doorway of his kitchen, looking beautiful and delicate and—

  He smashed the rolling pin down on the bag, shooting bits of Oreos into the air through a section of the zipper that he apparently hadn’t closed well enough.

  “Hi, Cady,” he said, trying to keep his voice even, tossing the rolling pin down with a thunk and rezipping the closure along the edge of the bag, this time making sure most of the air was out of the bag and the teeth had actually grabbed securely to each other before picking up the rolling pin again. “How are you?”

  His voice was flat. Harsh. Even to his own ears, it didn’t sound like him at all, but it was all he could do not to lose his temper completely. She could damn well put up with a bit of rudeness.

  It was the least she could do, honestly.

  “I’m good.”

  Her voice was hesitant and he could tell without looking up that she wanted him to look at her; that her eyes would be begging for it if he’d just glance at her, but he didn’t. He ran the rolling pin across the bag, crunching and smashing the cookies, enjoying the destruction, waiting for Cady to say her piece and then get out of his kitchen.

  “I…uhhh…I started seeing someone.”

  Her words hit like a bolt of lightning out of the clear blue sky. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think. How could she? How dare she?

  “That didn’t take long,” he got out, viciously pleased that he sounded sarcastic. Mean. “What’s the lucky guy’s name?” He didn’t consider himself to be a violent man, but in that moment, he would’ve gladly squashed the nameless, faceless man like a bug beneath his shoe. Maybe he’d pay the jackass a visit that evening and—

  “Jane Wethersmith.”

  Gage froze. The world stopped. He stopped. Everything, everywhere stopped and he was left grasping at straws, trying to figure out what had just happened.

  “Well,” he finally growled, when he could get the air back into his lungs again, “this explains sooo much. When were you planning on sharing the news with the rest of the class?”

  He’d started rolling the pin again, crushing the Oreos into tiny crumbs, much too small for what he needed and he’d have to throw them out and start again but right then, he wanted to crush something and since homicide wasn’t legal, Oreos would just have to do the trick.

  “Dr. Jane Wethersmith. A therapist out of Franklin. She…I explained that it was an emergency and she stayed late last night to work me into her schedule. I told her everything. I’m going back again next week. She thinks I should also try some sort of medication, like Prozac or Wellbutrin or something. I’ve spent the whole day convincing myself that taking a little pill doesn’t mean that I’m crazy. Or that talking to someone doesn’t make me crazy. I’m…I’m not 100% sure I’ve convinced my brain that this is fine, but I’m doing it anyway. I don’t like being on a rollercoaster ride all the time. I don’t like not knowing if something is going to freak me out and I’m going to fall apart. I didn’t used to be this way; I swear I wasn’t. I used to be normal, I promise.”

  She laughed awkwardly but the sound quickly died away as Gage turned to look at her. He didn’t have words. There was a part of his brain that was whispering urgently that he was in shock, but he didn’t know how to deal with that fact. Or any facts at all.

  “Therapist?” he whispered.

  Cady nodded slowly, her brown curls bouncing in time. “Super New Cady realized that if I didn’t stop jerking you around, I’d lose you forever. I like you, Gage. A lot. And for some unknown reason, you’ve at least put up with me thus far, and that’s more than I really deserve, honestly. But I have a whole bucketload of shit to work through, and if that means getting help…it’s a damn sight better than losing you.”

  “Super New Cady?” Gage repeated, moving slowly towards Cady, the palms of his hands aching to touch her skin. “What happened to New Cady?”

  “She got upgraded,” Cady said seriously, and then took a step towards him. He wondered if she could hear his heart thundering, if it was as loud to her as it was to him. “Turns out, New Cady was getting out of bed and going to work, but she still had some fairly large flaws, like freaking out when her boyfriend kissed her.”

  Gage stopped right in front of her, so close that her chest grazed his with every breath. “Boyfriend?” he whispered. He was so close, he could see her long, thick eyelashes, tangling together, brushing against her cheeks with every blink, almost as curly as her hair. “I didn’t know I’d been upgraded to boyfriend status.”

  “Only if you want it.” But before he could open his mouth to tell her how very much he wanted it, she rushed on. “I have to take it slow. I know it isn’t fair to you, but I need the room to change and grow. Will you promise not to rush me?”

  He stroked his hand down the curve of her cheek, feeling like he could promise her the world in that moment, and he’d deliver. “I promise,” he whispered. “You’re in the driver’s seat. Girlfriend.” He tested the name on his tongue and discovered that he liked it very, very much.

  She reached up on her tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you,” she said quietly. And then, in a clear bid to change the topic, “Now, what were you making before I interrupted you?”

  “New recipe.” He grabbed her hand and tugged her over to the counter. “I’ll need a taste tester, and as my girlfriend, you are, of course, to serve as my primary testing subject.”

  Her laughter tinkled out as he tossed the annihilated Oreos off to the side and began putting together a new bag. “I didn’t realize my title came with such serious duties,” she teased
him, standing next to him and watching his every move.

  His groin tightened with anticipation as his imagination supplied other…duties that she could perform, but he stomped on that thought, sending it straight into oblivion. If she wanted slow, she’d get slow, and if they were starting out at kissing-the-cheek stage…

  Well, it’d be a damn long time until his dick was happy, that was for sure.

  Chapter 18

  Cady

  June, 2019

  This was it – their first official date since that awkward-as-hell discussion in the bakery kitchen. She wasn’t nervous at all. Other than the fact that her stomach had apparently decided that now was the time to tie itself into Gordian knots and her heart was beating so erratically that it was a damn good thing she wasn’t connected to a heart monitor, she was perfectly fine. And calm.

  Skittles meowed loudly in protest, and Cady looked down in surprise, finding that she’d apparently squished the calico cat so hard against her chest, he was probably having a hard time breathing. He was scrabbling for purchase, trying to free himself from her embrace, and she quickly placed him down on the carpet.